dishonored 2 is 5000% scarier than the original like this is a straight-up first person horror survival game i was sneakin thru a bloodfly-infested house and i didnt realize there were nest-keepers there and one of them crept up directly behind me and whispered ‘now im going to have to hurt you’ in my ear and anyway thats why i havent been active much lately its because dh2 scared all the remaining years off my life and i died
Dude you cannot tell me that a big sweetie like you is bad with kids. How?? Would you mind elaborating a little bit? D:
* well, it’s a bit more complicated than just bein’ ‘bad with them’, if i’m bein’ honest. and it’s a bit twofold, as well.
* … ya gotta understand, Dings, Paps, ‘n i were on our own by the time I was 8. Dings was 4, and Paps was 2. so sure, i ended up raisin’ ‘em… but it’s not like i was skilled. i did the best i could - there was an orphanage in the Capital, but… it was huge. they did their best, but there’s only so much time to go around, y’know? and when our parents died, it was part of kind of a crisis Underground - a lot of monsters lost Hope within the span of about 7 months, and… Fell. so there were a bunch of kids suddenly put in this system…
* so, we had a place to sleep ‘n basics for food, but outside of that it really was just us takin’ care of one another. i fucked up a lot - discipline was never my strong suit - but i started taking on odd under the table jobs to earn money, to get them some new clothes and what better food or treats i could - we wouldn’t have a normal childhood, but i wanted ‘em to at least know they were just as loved as anyone else, y’know?
* … i was pretty bitter up in my preteens, too, at… the world, our circumstances, at havin’ to see my brothers curled up on one mattress, unwillin’ to sleep till they saw i was back from whatever odd job i had scrabbled together. we rarely spoke of it, but we were all terrified of losin’ one another just like we lost our parents within days of one another… ‘n because my HP took such a hit ‘n never recovered, they wouldn’t sleep till i was back ‘n safe, readin’ ‘em a story or some science theories, dependin’ on who had pick for the night.
* … when we got older, i, uh… never actually properly finished high school. the orphanage was damned unbearable by that point, ‘n because we had one another, the kids ostracized us a lot - really got to Paps ‘n Dings, ‘n gave me a hell of a lotta trouble trustin’ other kids. so i dropped out ‘n worked my ass off, got us a studio apartment, ‘n we moved there together. still, we were poor. couldn’t afford to get Paps ‘n Dings new clothes… ‘n they got crap from it. when i went to their school to pick ‘em up with a couple surprise cinnabunnies since i got my break early, i, uh - got chewed out.
* couple of the parents put two ‘n two together ‘n realized i was the one raisin’ them. said i was a terrible influence, lettin’ Paps grow up to be a dreamer, ‘n encouragin’ Dings to chase after obscure scientific theories. said too that i was treatin’ ‘em badly, that takin’ ‘em outta the orphanage only made ‘em suffer for not knowin’ where the next meal was comin’ from, for “showin’ them that dropping out was a valid choice”, ‘n more…
* ….. it got worse after that. i had to make sure to pick ‘em up everyday, because if i wasn’t there to chew out, they’d turn on Dings ‘n Pap. ‘n don’t get me wrong, they were in their teens too, ‘n could take care of themselves - but i had already put ‘em back enough, y’know? they already faced crap. they had friends, too, but i just… couldn’t let that be added onto their shoulders. they’d keep it from me, i knew, tryin’ to look after me in return.
* later on, they always said they never blamed me, but… what can i say, i can’t help but figure i coulda done something better.
* in the end, we made it out alright - ‘n by the time Dings was finishin’ the equivalent of high school, i had started studyin’ on the down low, pursuin’ science ‘n mechanics - i had been doing more ‘n more jobs in the field, and a professor noticed my work - after needlin’ me about joinin’ classes but hearin’ why i couldn’t, she basically helped me do a nightschool/correspondence equivalent in exchange for bein’ her lab assistant on weekends. she still paid me for it too, ‘n wouldn’t hear otherwise. i owe a lot to her…
* …… anyways, i never was quite able to get over all the shit from our childhood. i was always pretty bad with ‘kids’ as a whole, though individually i can manage alright. but… i dunno, even once i was an adult, i really only knew how to handle family - i’d freeze up whenever i was left with some other kid.
* i, uh, curse frequently when i’m with close friends or riled up, literally parkour pretty damn dangerously to travel around and did that even before the void incident, and have no goddamn idea what the hell is age appropriate.
* i might’ve set one of the lab assistant’s kids up with an experimental magi-chem set when they asked me to keep an eye on them while they stepped out for an hour…
* i’m pretty sure my skull is still ringing from the chewin’ out i got for ‘what they might’ve done’ or ‘how they could’ve hurt themselves’ -
* - i mean, i - ‘n my bros - learned by experimenting, but… that’s not really a well-accepted route, apparently.
* and nowadays… the effect i have on kids ‘n what i’ve seen…
Grim that is so cool. You are so smart omfg. I've never liked science enough to pursue it further even though I wasn't, say, bad at it. Didn't want to break my dreams by learning what's impossible and all that. You though, that's impressive!! Not only are you life-wise, you're intelligent and knowledgeable? So cool! ☆
* aw sweetpea, i’m nothin’ so special, but thank you for thinkin’ so. ‘n you know what the funny thing about even human science is? there’s actually something called the magical event horizon.
* the author Terry Pratchett put it best:
There is magic in our world, too, but of a different,
less obvious kind. It happens around everybody all the time, in all
those little causalities which we don’t understand but just accept. When
we turn the switch and the light comes on. When we get into the car and
start the engine. When we do all those improbable and ridiculous things
that, thanks to biological causality, make babies. Certainly many
people understand, often to quite a detailed degree, what is going on in
particular areas - but sooner or later we all reach our Magical Event
* in other words, even when you find out the rules and the like that make up and go into whatever your field is… stars, there’s still an infinite number of things you don’t understand. it is, very literally, magic. after all, even somethin’ as ubitquitous as the internet - when you get down to it, as it is now, as expansive and impossibly infinite as it is for any normal person’s lifespan or understanding, even if you know how it’s technically conveyed… it really is a magic of it’s own, y’know? understandin’ it, in the end, really just gives ya a deeper appreciation for how mind-blowin’ it is.
* that’s what i love about learnin’ ‘n science ‘n magical studies, really. while you can hit a wall of feelin’ ‘ruined’ by knowin’ how a thing works, if you keep diggin’… that just leads you to a whole universe of new stars of knowledge that you end up awestruck by all over again.
Has no one seen Ian Wasseluk’s awesome “Clarence” storyboards yet? This guy’s done some work for tons of awesome cartoons like “Billy & Mandy”, “Chowder”, “My Gym Partner’s a Monkey”, “The Mighty B!”, “Steven Universe”, and now he’s currently working on “Star and the Forces of Evil”!
Sabrina is back with all the flavors of Hammer, Argento, and EARLY Carpenter. We return to this world of Satanic panic and magic powers beyond comprehension before Sabrina’s birth. Long before Salem the cat and Sabrina’s Aunts set their iconic lives up in Greendale there was a little boy named Eddie who conjured a demon.
We finally learn the dark past of the gifted Edward Spellman! Edward Spellman is Sabrina’s father and has since taken over the body of Harvey Kinkle. As per usual I’ll avoid digging too deeply into my fandom if it can be helped, but possessed Harvey is devastating and really exciting. We join Edward and Mrs. Kinkle in the Kinkle residence where Edward (in Harvey’s body) is slowly eating Harvey’s dad.
Over dinner Edward begins to regale Mrs. Kinkle with his life story. We learn young Eddie Spellman was an altar boy to Father Constant. Father Constant was an alchemist and priest within the Church of the Night. Eddie Spellman was a precocious little occultist, even for the masters and elders within his order when he summoned his first demon at the age of seven. I’ll leave the spoilers with these few quick details and this image:
One heck of a Patronus if you ask me.
This is a triumphant and welcome return to Greendale. Grim B-horror madness is all any comic reader needs in their life on a stormy day like the one I’m writing this review on. I now return to my tower, with my incantations and books, until the next Blood Moon frees me to read the next issue of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.
Matthew Burbridge is a Digital Editor at ComiXology and he is happy to present Part 2 of his novel Dock, Stalk, and Barrel (working title):
 Lawrence’s wages were what they were: just enough to not be hungry, not enough to ever get full.