So I just had a dream, It was a hell of a dream, A weird ass dream
So like, my dream was that Disney Pete had literally kidnapped several princesses by using a charm to hypnotize them and I tried to rescue them a first time, but I was no match for his guards
So I come back and get reinforcements consisting of Goofy, Akihiro from Iron Blood Orphans, an anime girl that was apparently my retainer, Grim from the Grim Adventures, Mike Tyson, the Rock, Ichigo, and a hockey player
We have to figure out how to get past another castle’s defenses in order to get through to our supplies while also activating a device from a distance
I send my retainer to activate it, something called the first trial. She does and this hologram orb thing turns on and like
The room in front of us is now a fully functioning GameStop run by my ceramics professor but now the hologram orb also shoots lasers.
Mike Tyson steps up and says “hey lemme do this son”
Apparently he was my dad
He walks into laser GameStop, avoiding the heat seeking lasers in a casual manner, buys a game, and that distracts the laser and Professor long enough to get past him.
So now we’re sitting outside Pete’s castle surrounded by a campfire. I am now Mickey Mouse.
And I start going over a game plan and cooking up these BBQ sugar snaps? Idk why? But I am. Basically I was to storm the castle with the others taking on the guards for me, but I would need someone willing to kill me or themselves because whoever killed Pete would have their heart poisoned automatically and would die a painful death otherwise.
So before we go in I have a heartfelt talk with my son Akihiro. He’s obviously upset that he can’t do anything but I tell him he has a responsibility to lead our people. Use the Gundam if you aren’t enough. He agrees.
So we storm in and we eventually find the princesses and Pete with his hypnotic charm trying to tell them to do something weird. I go to draw my katana but Goofy just stops me and says “hold on pal.”
Pete sees us and says “WHATCHA GONNA DO? Oh I know, WHATEVER I SAY!” And tries to hypnotize me.
Goofy pulls out a bbq sugar snap And you know how in old cartoons the smell of a really good food was enough to lift someone off their feet? That happened to Pete. Goofy starts drawing Pete up the stairs, and I’m wondering wtf he’s going to do once he’s alone up there.
I look out the window and see a BBQ snap flying and Pete falling like a boulder until SPLAT
The girls are free, including my wives Minnie, Daisy, Donald Duck, Amy Rose, The Rock again, and Jessica Alba. They try to thank me, but I know something has to be done
I go upstairs to see Goofy in Pete’s bed, wondering how his kids are going to do without him as he’s holding a fork over his chest
“Hold on. Mine are grown up. Let me do this.”
Because that’s how it works apparently idk
Anyway I was expecting resistance but he’s just “Thanks Pal :D Here ya go!” And hands me the fork. I lay down in bed, seeing a new meter pop up with three categories: time, poison, and pain. The more time passes, the more the poison meter decreases which increases my pain
I’m sitting there as Mickey Mouse mind you, trying to seppuku my heart with a fucking fork because I’m suddenly handed that responsibility. I try but it hurts too much, so I ask Goofy to kill me
“I’ve got a better idea”
So he grabs a scalpel??? And tells me to grit my teeth. I do so I I look down to see him cut an incision on my chest, which doesn’t hurt much. Then I see him lean down with his tongue out to the cut.
“What the fuck are you-” and I felt the most intense rush of pain and germopobia I’ve ever had in a dream on my heart. The poison meter goes down to zero so inevitably I survived or something because I wake up irl clenching my chest because Jesus shit my heart got tongued by Goofy and it was one of the most painful experiences ever
I’m okay though. It faded like instantly as I woke up.
And after I read this aloud to my friends, we realized that the way the poison works GOOFY WAS KILLING ME WITH HIS TONGUE! I thought he was sucking the poison out but NOPE
Fanart illustrations by
Little Witch Academia director and key-animator in: Gurren Lagann, Evangelion, FLCL, KILL la KILL, One Piece, P&SWG, etc. Including Teen Titans, Powerpuff Girls, Dexter’s Lab, Kim Possible and more (classics). Search!
the grim adventures of billy and mandy was such a fucking weird show but i have so many memories from it like… engraved in my brain like i’ll never forget about billy repeatedly shouting “destroy us all”