this is the only review for the snoopy grilled cheese maker, also hi singular person who found this review unhelpful, youre an absolute fucking monster, i hope you are NOT enjoying the snoopy grilled cheese maker which will make eating even more fun
I wasn’t really sure where to go with this. But I like to believe Baz struggles with holiday shopping just as much as I do. @carryon-countdown
Baz wasn’t very good at shopping for people. His family and their friends were so wealthy that he never had a reason to gift shop before. The family would go online, pick some gaudy items, and send them out. Nothing personal about it, just for appearance’s sake. But this was Baz’s first Christmas with Simon. They were doing a whole thing at his and Penny’s flat. Agatha was even coming in from California. Baz knew he could buy them new iPods or laptops but that didn’t seem personal enough. Especially not for Simon. Baz was in a department store feeling both defeated and overwhelmed. So far he had purchased a new book from Penny’s favorite author and a locket for Agatha that he was going to put a picture of her dog in but he had nothing for Simon. Mostly Simon liked to eat scones, or cuddle with him. Baz knew he liked football, but he hardly thought a ball was an appropriate Christmas gift. The problem was that Simon had spent so many years thinking he would die that he never really developed hobbies. When other teens at Watford were learning music or watching shows Simon had been fighting monsters. Baz felt sad about that, especially since Simon was now working so hard to fit into the Normal world. His eyes zeroed in on a ridiculously Normal product. Maybe he could help him, even if he wasn’t exactly an expert on the Normal world. Feeling half like an idiot, and half amused, he picked up the item that had caught his eyes.
Simon felt happy. His friends and his boyfriend surrounded him on Christmas Eve. Looking back he had never expected to make it this far. He especially hadn’t expected to be this happy. So far most of the presents had been opened but Simon had saved Baz’s for last. He wasn’t sure what to expect since he hadn’t given Baz any ideas. Simon had gotten Baz a CD from his favorite violinist and a limited edition copy of Dracula as a sort of gag gift. Baz handed him a medium sized box. Simon was surprised to find that it was rather heavy. He raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. “This is kind of big.” Baz bit his lip. “Look I didn’t know…honestly I wasn’t sure what to get you. But I know you love eating and I know you’re trying to figure out how to get things done without magic, so…” Simon had started ripping wrapping paper off at the mention of food. When he finished, he realized he was looking at a box for a grilled cheese maker. It looked like a toaster but with a strange metal holder to make the grilled cheese sandwiches. It was an oddly specific gift, even for a Normal, and Simon absolutely loved it. “Penny, do we have cheese?” Penny laughed. “Of course, and bread.” Simon opened the box and searched for the instruction manual. “Okay well I know what we’re having for dinner then.” Agatha started laughing and raised a thumbs up to Baz. “Looks like it’s a hit.” Baz smiled. “I honestly wasn’t sure he would like it.” Simon scooted over to his boyfriend and kissed his cheek lightly. “I love food and I appreciate what you’re trying to do. Sometimes it’s hard for me to fit in with the Normals at school. Not that this will change that…but I get it.” “You do?” Simon smiled. “I do. Now! Let’s make some sandwiches.”
Here you go anon!! Thank you for requesting I luv u I hope it’s okay!!
Seungcheol: Plays with thekids all day long he’s pretty used to taking care of kids anyways. Kids call him Papa Coups and hold onto his legs as he walks around. Basically the cutest thing in the world all parents love him.
Jeonghan: Also great with the kids. Lets them braid his hair and carries them around the house all the time. #1 grilled cheese maker. Can be stern mother when necessary. Sings kiddies to sleep after tucking them in right at their bedtimes.
Joshua: Is super sweet and dorky around the kids. Very easy to sway him into spoiling them. Also very easy to prank. Always loses hide and seek. Gives kids too much candy and has to deal with the consequential hyperactive children.
Jun: Doesn’t really care about watching over kids; is more concerned about having fun with kids. Plays board games with them and gets salty when he loses all the time. Takes out every toy in sight and doesn’t put it away after they’re done with it. House is always much messier after he leaves.
Hoshi: Why would you hire this one he’s literally less mature than some of the kids he’s supposed to be watching. Can keep up with the kids the entire day without getting tired after 59 games of tag. Falls asleep on the couch with his kiddies snuggled up against him.
Wonwoo: Scares the kids a little bit at first but as soon as they realize he’s a big squish they attach themselves to him. Actually adored by all children ever. Viewed as the coolest guy on the planet. Has a very large weakness for puppy eyes and will do whatever the kids want if they discover his weakness.
Woozi: Pretends to hate his job. Rolls his eyes and gets into arguments with the kids. Gets angry when kids ask him why he’s so smol or why he looks like a strawberry. Secretly enjoys being with the kids but won’t ever admit it.
Seokmin: Oh my god he would honestly love all the kids so much he would shower them in affection and compliment them all the time like “Did you draw this?! This is so great!!!” Loved by all children everywhere. Can handle even the most irritating children with ease because who can say no to that sunshine smile I mean seriously
Mingyu: Is a good babysitter, lets the kids do their own thing until the video games start. Destroys all the children without mercy in Mariokart. Is extremely salty when he loses and demands rematches. Makes the best mac&cheese.
Minghao: Likes watching mellow kids and plays with them. Impresses them with his dancing and gains their love with his cuteness. Likes to give them little kisses on their heads. Is really good at cheering them up if they get upset but panics if they start screaming.
Seungkwan: Sass master Boo is always right and should not be argued with. Enjoys bossing kids around but is sometimes a softie for when they’re good listeners and rewards them with cookies. If he encounters a difficult child he enjoys sending them to the corner and forcing them to watch him eat a cookie very slowly and dramatically so they learn their lesson. Increased number of noise complaints from neighbors after he visits.
Vernon: Teaches kids how to have swag and how to be dope. Is also very good at teaching kids manners and cool dance moves. Assumes all kids want to be just like him. Kids actually think he’s some hipster guy and are only fascinated by his dope lifestyle, not impressed.
Dino: Dino is too young to babysit he is the baby Dino would be the most polite babysitter, always asking them if they’re hungry and playing with them. Enjoys losing on purpose during board games. Is good at quieting down screaming children.
Summary: Owen and the reader meet at an annual masquerade
work party, where Claire drags the reader (her assistant) along, and she ends
up meeting Owen. The only problem is she doesn’t know it`s Owen, thanks to
those pesky masks.
A/N: I`m so happy at the response for this story! I am so sorry I haven’t been updating quickly, I was on vacation and laptopless (which was horrible) so here is part 3, and I hope you enjoy it guys!
“No, it does not have a picture of Cher in it” Owen sighed.
Woman twenty-nine was just like the other twenty-eight: a
waste of time.
“Barry, I am never going to find her. All these women came
out with the weirdest answers. Elvis, John Cena, Leslie Knope, and Grumpy Cat?
I mean, seriously, who the fuck has a picture of Elvis in their bracelet?” Owen
“Owen, man, maybe you need to do this another way, maybe try
to ask around. Someone has to know who your mystery woman is,” Barry suggested,
as he walked off to check on his girls.
Owen sat at his desk, and begged his brain to remember
something about her, anything that would hint at what she did at the park. He
racked his memory, but soon grew frustrated, “fuck, where the hell is she?” he
slammed his hand on his desk.
“Go home Owen, and don’t mess with my raptor skeleton
display,” yelled Barry.
Owen slumped out of his office, and swung onto his bike,
just as the sky thundered above. He shook his head at the Central American
weather, and sped off to his bungalow.
Y/N was currently heading home in her jeep, reflecting on
It had gone from bad to worse, and after the email incident
from Owen; you had barely been able to stop thinking about him.
The truth was that you barely knew him, but that night at
the party, you just connected. Tequila may have had a small impact on the spark
between you, but if you were completely honest, you just felt like he shared
your experiences; it also didn’t hurt that he was the most attractive guy you
Claire had made the day worse by mentioning all the women
that were talking about the email, apparently it was the hottest gossip, and
all the female workers were going crazy trying to come up with the picture
inside your bracelet.
Dear god you wanted your bracelet back, you had even
considered asking Claire to tell Owen it was her, just so you could get your
beloved jewelry back.
Your jeep sped down the dirt road towards your bungalow,
when the heavens opened up, and rain clouded your vision.
“Damn humid rainstorm” you cried.
The jeep made a loud banging sound, and stuttered to a halt.
“Shit. Shit. Shit. Why?” you yelled, slamming your hands on
the steering wheel.
You jumped out of the jeep, and opened to hood. Maybe you
could fix it?
The rain soaked you to the core, and the jeep still sat
there stationary, when you saw a light in the distance.
A motorbike pulled up next to you, and someone seriously
hated you, because who was riding the bike? Only Owen motherfucking Grady!
“Y/N right? You okay?” asked the man of your constant thoughts.
“Owen! Go! I can deal with this myself” you replied over the
“No! It`s pouring down, let me take you home and get dry,
then we can come back and fix your car” he reasoned, gently tugging your arm
towards his bike.
“Fine, but only until the rain subsides” you relent, anxious
to be warm and dry, and get away from him at the same time.
You both swing onto his bike, and he revs down the track,
the rain blurring your vision, “how the hell can he see?” you think.
You pulled up at his bungalow, and your stomach had
butterflies from the thought of being alone with Owen.
He cut off the bike, and you both sprinted into his house,
shaking from the cool shower.
“Jesus, that shit is cold” shivered Owen.
“Ugh, I can`t believe my jeep broke down, I thought jeeps
were indestructible?” you complained, shaking in the living room.
“Guess not” Owen replied, and began to take off his shirt.
You were frozen in place…his muscles were ridiculous. His
abs flexed as his shirt left his body, and you suddenly didn’t feel so cold.
“Is that okay, y/n?” asked Owen, who stared down at you,
“What?” you whispered, still in awe from his amazing torso.
“I asked if you wanted a dry shirt” he was still smirking at
“Oh yes! That would be awesome” you smiled back at him.
He walked to what you assumed was his bedroom, and came back
with one of his button down shirts, and unfortunately, he was wearing pajama
pants, and a white t-shirt.
“Here” he handed you the shirt and pants, “the bathroom is
down the hall” he pointed and moved into the kitchen.
You found the bathroom, and were surprised to discover it to
be squeaky clean. Drying off, you
collected your thoughts, Owen was really sweet to help you, and let you dry off
at his bungalow. Then you remembered that he probably did this for other women,
and you shook your head to rush away any Owen-related thoughts, not matter how
sweet, and hot he is.
You tried on the pants, and they were way too big, falling
down as soon as you pulled them up. Your wets clothes were not an option, so
with annoyance, you just used the shirt (it was practically a dress anyway).
You headed out of the bathroom, nervous as hell, and walked
into the open living room of the one and only Owen Grady.
“Hey y/n! Is grilled cheese okay? I got hungry, and figured
everyone likes grilled cheese” he chuckled, flipping the sandwich on the
griddle, yet nearly dropped it all on the floor when his gaze followed up your
legs to his shirt on your body.
“Grilled cheese is awesome” you smiled back, “anyway I could
dry my clothes?” you asked, holding the dripping heap, and feeling slightly
smug at his reaction.
“Oh yeah, washer and dryer is in there” he pointed to a
cupboard, and you placed your clothes in the dryer.
It should take forty minutes. Forty minutes before you could
head home, and get away from Owen before you do something you regret.
“Food is ready now,” he declared, and you quickly walked
back to the kitchen, with a growling stomach.
“Ugh you are awesome!” you moaned, the grilled sandwich you
were currently eating was the best ever.
“Woah, we barely know each other, y/n!” laughed Owen, who
had already demolished his meal, and was sat next to you on the couch.
“Well, you are a totally amazing grilled cheese maker” you
replied before taking another bite.
“I will add that to my boyfriend qualifications” he
“Whhaaa?” you choked on your sandwich.
“Oh…no…I didn’t mean we…I mean…” he stammered.
“Oh yeah. Of course…I didn’t mean” you were still choking
“You see, I am looking for this girl, I’m sure you saw my
email…well today was a massive failure. So many women came to me, and gave me
stupid answers about the bracelet my mystery girl lost, and well, I guess I`m
just anxious to find her” he declared, looking down at his lap.
“I am sure you will find her,” you mumble back.
You really badly wanted to tell him it was you, but you knew
he was a womanizer (according to all the rumors) and yet a part of you wanted
to trust him.
“Well, after that depressing speech, how about tequila?” he
“That`s my poison” you reply, and you both pause, your words
bringing back that night.
“Don’t want to keep the lady waiting” he recovers, and his
thoughts are confused.
Owen felt that he recognized you when he saw you earlier, you
looked familiar, sounded familiar, and your eyes were deep like those of his
stranger that night.
He grabbed the shot glasses, and poured out the liquor.
“To rainstorms” he toasted, and you clinked glasses before
Your throat burned, but eventually the shots kept flowing.
“You know, I fucking hate Hoskins, he thinks he owns the
dinosaurs,” you slurred, the tequila taking its full effect.
“Seriously, that asshole! I could punch him every time I see
him” he growled, and you hated to admit it, but you were slightly turned on.
“And Claire panders to his demands, making sure InGen has
everything they need, and she`s not the one who has to deal with it! I do!” you
yelled, and Owen shook his head.
“Oh shit, Claire and I do not get along, especially after
that disastrous date!” he yelled, downing another shot.
“Oh hell, I didn’t hear the end of that for months!” you
replied, shaking your head, making yourself dizzy.
“Damn, how do you deal with her?” he genuinely asks.
“I love her, but she can get too much sometimes” you admit.
“You know, you should be more than an assistant, you are
crazy clever, and hot, and…” he leaned down and captured your lips with his
The spark that happened that night came back with a
vengeance, and you immediately responded to his kiss.
Your arms looped around his neck, pulling him closer, as he
nipped at your lips, and soothed them with his tongue.
His hands ran down your side, and you moaned, causing him to
draw back, shifting his lips to your neck.
He pulled away from you, and whispered, “it`s you”
“What?” you questioned, trying to catch your breath.
“From the party, I finally found you” he smiled, relieved.
“No! No! You’re confused, it’s not me” you panicked, and
stood up, your head spinning.
“What is my Navy nickname?” he asked, praying he had found
“Dinosaur, ironically” you reply quickly, and immediately
regret it, and step away from Owen.
“I knew it! Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?” he stands up too.
“I don’t want to talk about it” you yell, and run out of the
bungalow, straight into the rain.
“Y/N!” you hear behind you, as you run into the forest, the
darkness covering you, and confusing you.
You run for a bit, and in your drunken state, trip over a
branch. Falling into a ditch, your ankle screams in pain, and you give up.
How did your life come to this, stuck in a ditch, with a
possibly broken ankle, drunk, and tired? It seriously sucked.
You sat for about an hour you estimated, and finally gave
up, crying at your failure.
“The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! I just hope the seller does not run out, because I have many projects on my list including a night vision sasquatch radar, an electromagnetic chupakabra cage, a high velocity, aerial, weighted Mothman net and super heated, instant grill cheese sandwhich maker.” Helpful Customer Review - 5 Stars.
“I was a little disappointed that there was no warning label on the can alerting consumers that after eating this that they would sh#t fire for three days. On my last trip to the bathroom the shower curtains melted and the wallpaper caught on fire, quickly spreading into the attic. I managed to throw a wet towel around my seared bottom and crawl to a neighbor’s house where I called 911. Although the fire department responded quickly, they had to call in additional fire departments from surrounding counties to assist with the rapidly spreading blaze. After several hours they finally enlisted the aid of the local airport and brought in a sprayer using Class A Fire Retardant Foam to put out the fire. Sadly, by the time the flames were finally extinguished the town was reduced to ash leaving only the carousel at the mall intact.” 3 Star Review.
“My bottle of liquid ass arrived in the mail the other day. I wanted to try it at home before unleashing it at work. Entering the kitchen, I sprayed one tiny little “poof” and waited. Within one minute, the kitchen smelled as if an entire college football offensive line had overdone it at the taco stand the previous night.It was so bad that the cat came into the kitchen and was scraping the bare tile floor with his paw as if he was trying to cover up a huge invisible turd! I’ve owned other fart sprays that didn’t quite smell “right”. But Liquid Ass really smells like the real deal.” 5 Stars.
“A quote from a cat dancer: “At those levels, an unstable etheric oscillation could collapse into an astral vortex and suck my spiritual reserves into a state of negative sub-matter.” Any author who can publish that sentence with a straight face deserves to sell as many books as they can.” 5 Star Review.
“Any serious situation can be deflated by the introduction of a rubber chicken, but traditional rubber chickens are so impractically large for daily use. This vinyl Emergency Inflatable Rubber Chicken slides easily into any bag or purse waiting to be introduced at the exact moment a little levity is needed. 16" (41 cm). Illustrated display tin. Shrink wrapped.”
“The fire raging through the fields threatened to destroy all the straw huts and kill dozens of innocent women and children. Luckily I had my emergency inflatable chicken and managed to stop the fire and rebuild the village.” 5 Star Review.
“Do you people not understand what awesome and epic forces you are meddling with here? Sure, it’s safe for now in the cute little package, tee hee you giggle as think of the look your friend will give you when they open it, but what about when they OPEN it?”