York’s a great guy who could also probably like, rip you in half but tbh I feel like he’s that guy in the group who makes endless puns and dick jokes so, hey, punch him and then run away, lock a door behind you, and you’ll be fine. Fight York.
I mean. I don’t know what show you’ve been watching, I really don’t. Jesus Horatio Christ on a popsicle don’t fight Carolina.
Wash has had the shittiest life ever. Of all time. Do not fight Wash give Wash chocolate and love.
True, South will rip you to tiny bitty little shreds, okay yeah but she got North killed and Theta lost and just... if you can fight South pls go for it
Why would you fight him. Why. North wants to give you a blanket and a cup of tea and talk about Grifball with you why would you fight him? Also if you did fight him he'd shoot you from three miles away. You're not nearly good enough to even get near him to actually fight him so don't bother. Don't fight North.
IF YOU FUCK WITH TEX YOU'LL BE ON YOUR KNEES FOR SURE
If you want death, then yes, fight Maine. But don't actually. Either he'd punch you once and you'd explode or he'd pick you up by the scruff of your neck and place you on a really high shelf or something. Don't fight Maine.
CONNIE IS A GOOD HUMAN BEING WHO'S TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING DON'T FUCKING FIGHT CT
Please rip his mustache off. Fight Wyoming.
That's like the worst idea ever ok look Florida is a chill honestly nice dude who will slather you with compliments and mean them but you will not last 0.0002 seconds in a fight with him. Nah he isn't on the leaderboard but that's probably cos he's like, way too cool for that shit okay don't fight Florida. Let Florida hug you.
why would you do that that's like fighting Caboose except a Caboose who's never killed anyone okay it's like fighting Caboose's more innocent twin if that's possible DON'T FIGHT IOWA
Yeah go ahead fight Georgia he seems like a dick. Also he probably sucks I mean we all know what happened to Georgia you might even win. Fight Georgia.
bruh don't fight Ohio, set Ohio up with Sherry
ehhhhhhhhhhh I feel like that would be a dick move. Don't fight Idaho.
how can you fight utah you don't even know what utah looks like
It’s the Grifball championship! Before the game begins and the bagel bites come out of the oven, it’s a family card game~
Tucker keeps taking huge risks that don’t pay off. Sarge forgets the rules and curses loudly every time he makes a bad play (which is often). Wash is directly benefiting from this. Caboose also has no idea how to play but is somehow winning. Donut is Caboose’s personal hype squad.
“"They could recruit an entire new team for Cannonball and they’d still be better then Slipspace. Slipspace finished last season 1 at 11. I wouldn’t be surprised honestly if we didn’t see one of their games on TV this year. And if we did no one would watch it.”“
It had been nearly 20 minutes since the last. Probably any moment n–
A polite knock at the door.
North tightened the belt of his bathrobe, checked his pocket for tissues. He walked to the door and it opened with a hiss of air.
“Hey North! Feeling any better?” Wash was standing in the hallway, a magazine tucked under his arm, and carrying a tupperware container. “Brought you some soup.”
North smiled. “Thanks, Wash!” His voice came out as barely a whisper, and trying to clear his throat didn’t help at all. “That was really sweet of you.”
Wash handed him the container. “It’s still warm.”
“I’ll have some right now then.”
North set the soup down on the small table he used for a desk, and went to grab a spoon. He came back as Wash set down the magazine he’d been holding. “This is for you, too. Thought you might like something to read.” A small stack of other magazines on the desk caught his eye. “Looks like you might have that covered though. Some other people beat me to it?”
“A few did. But you brought the only ‘Better Homes and Gardens’ so far.”
“Well, glad to bring you something different at least.” Wash leafed through the pile. “I was trying to find you ‘Grifball Illustrated’, but I think I now understand why they didn’t have any left.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotten a few. You can take one back with you if you want.”
“Sure, thanks!” Wash snagged a copy and started to turn towards the door. “I won’t keep you. I just…remember how much it meant to me when you brought me soup when I was sick that time. Just wanted to return the favour.”
“Thanks again Wash. You really made my day.”
The door closed behind Wash and North sighed. This was the twentieth gift of soup today. He was going to have to stop being nice to people. Kindness was repaid with kindness – and a fuckton of soup. His tiny fridge was overflowing. By tomorrow he was never going to want to eat chicken soup again.
North was about to get back into bed when he heard someone pound on his door.
“Hey! Asshole! Open the door! You’re probably swimming in soup by now, so I brought you some fucking popsicles.”
(South/CT post-Freelancer AU, mostly fluff, partially angst. For South Appreciation Week, geez I love her. 4200 words, T)
CT is standing on her front step at 4:30 in the morning for some goddamn reason. A huge backpack dwarfs her, but she’s carrying it like it weighs nothing. She’s also holding a six-pack of South’s favorite shitty beer.