grief healing

If you don’t let it out, the grief becomes a scream trapped inside your soul, a constant cry in the dark, a sob you can never release. So scream, shout, cry, the way the sky does with thunder and lightning and rain…for it knows it is being cleansed, it knows that it’s storm is the only way to release the pain.
—  Nikita Gill

if there is anything you learn from me, let it be this:
there is no statute of limitations on healing.
there is no expiration date on the ache
that won’t stop following you around
no matter who tells you there is.

i do not mean to hurt you when i tell you this;
your kiss with trauma or the nights you spent with death,
these things are not going to leave you as quickly as you wish they would.
it hurt and it’s going to keep hurting.

do not forgive and forget.
do not bury this and believe it is leaving.
it isn’t going to leave you as suddenly as it came
so stop trying to pretend it is.

cry if you still need to.
breathe if you still can.

do not be angry at yourself for hurting still.
do not be angry at yourself for hurting still.
do not be angry at yourself for hurting still.

—  On Healing, Sarah Kate Osborn (to follow On Grief)
Crystals For PTSD

**NOT A REPLACEMENT FOR MEDICAL HELP

Originally posted by keioske

Amazonite - Grief, Worry

Amethyst - Anxiety, Grief, Hopelessness, Insomnia, Intrusive Memories, Irritability, Mistrust, Poor Concentration, Poor Judgement, Rage, Stress

Azurite - Physical Pains, Worry

Bloodstone - Aggression, Anger, Insomnia, Nightmares, Stress

Carnelian - Anger, Apathy, Avoidance, Helplessness, Loss of Motivation, Self Esteem, Short Term Memory Loss

Chrysocolla - Anxiety, Apathy, Balances Emotions, Fear, Guilt, Loss of Motivation 

Citrine - Negative Self Image, Recovery, Self Esteem, Supportive

Emerald - Grief, Guilt

Fluorite - Denial, Poor Judgement

Garnet - Anger, Apathy, Avoidance, Helplessness, Irritability, Isolation, Nightmares

Green Aventurine - Anxiety, Rage

Jade - Grief, Healing, Irritability, Nightmares

Kunzite - Anxiety, Depression, Panic Attacks, Recovery, Self Esteem

Labradorite - Anxiety, Hyper Vigilance, Insomnia, Isolation

Lapis Lazuli - Communication Problems, Coping, Grief, Helplessness, Panic Attacks, Physical Pains

Lepidolite - Anxiety, Depression, Flashbacks, Hopelessness, Hyper Vigilance, Irritability, Worry

Malachite - Anxiety, Balancing Emotions

Mangano Pink Calcite - Anxiety, Fear, Nightmares, Self Worth

Peridot - Grief, Healing, Self Esteem

Red Jasper - Apathy, Frustration, Isolation, Loss of Motivation

Rhodochrosite - Avoidance, Depression, Emotional Healing, Frustration, Irritability, Self Worth, Stress

Rhodonite - Anxiety, Frustration, Irritability, Rage

Rose Quartz - Balancing Emotions, Frustration, Guilt, Irritability, Lack of Feelings, Nightmares, Rage, Self Care

Smoky Quartz - Anger, Depression, Lack of Feelings, Physical Pains

Sodalite - Balancing Emotions, Communication problems, Insomnia, Poor Concentration, Poor judgement, Short Term Memory Loss,

Topaz - Lack of Feelings, Mistrust

**My Personal Correspondences

I know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant — you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you.

Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow is another day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you is this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary — because it makes you so much more human. And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will — eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need.

—  Lang Leav, “Broken Hearts”, Memories
You let time pass. That’s the cure. You survive the days. You float like a rabid ghost through the weeks. You cry and wallow and lament and scratch your way back up through the months. And then one day you find yourself alone on a bench in the sun and you close your eyes and lean your head back and you realize you’re okay.
—  Cheryl Strayed

May you learn to trust grief and let it take you where you need to go to heal.

May your heart heal of old wounds and regrets so that it may open to greater love and joy.

May you celebrate—every day—the wonder and mystery of being alive.

—  Honoring Grief by Alexandra Kennedy, MA
some thoughts about breakups

I think we put too much emphasis on worth when it comes to breakups, like the only reason a relationship ever ends is because one person decided the other wasn’t good enough. It can obviously feel that way regardless of the actual reasons, but there are many reasons that can cause a relationship to just not work anymore.

Sometimes people’s priorities change, or it’s discovered that they never lined up very well in the first place.

Sometimes circumstances, like distance or time availability, make maintaining a relationship too difficult.

Sometimes people realise that they don’t have the emotional resources to handle both the relationship and what’s going on in their life right now (be that work, grief, healing from trauma, dealing with illness or disability, etc.).

Sometimes people’s relationship styles/emotional needs just don’t line up – one person needs a lot of alone time and the other needs a lot of time with a partner, for example.

Sometimes people try very hard to interact in a healthy way, but they trigger each other’s past traumas or have conflicting access needs and find themselves falling into dysfunctional patterns.

Sometimes love is not enough to make a healthy relationship possible. You can care deeply about each other and try to make things work, but discover that a relationship is still not possible. Ending a relationship with someone you love can be very difficult, but sometimes it’s necessary – it’s not healthy for anyone to ignore their own needs in order to maintain a relationship.

When a good relationship ends, that doesn’t mean it was a failure. It means that it’s over; it doesn’t erase the love that you shared. Whether or not you can transition to a different kind of relationship with them, the person you cared about will still be part of your universe, and the memories you share with them will still be part of who you are. The time that you had together can still be meaningful.

fanfiction.net
Prompts Chapter 38: Gifts, a downton abbey fanfic | FanFiction

Hi all, I have retired for the most part but I am offering up a little something that I’ve been working on. This is mostly Elsie and Thomas in the first part and all Elsie in the second part. Charles features in this as well, but you will see what I mean. This is written in response to last month’s @chelsie-prompts challenge: Gifts. I’m just a little late.

Excerpt:


14 February 1946


She startles a bit and her head snaps up. She’s not expecting a knock at her front door this morning. It’s early yet and she’s still enjoying a cuppa and bite of toast as she watches the frost gently melt away from her kitchen window. The sun is bright and she thinks that if she wears her warmest coat, pulls on her thickest gloves, and wraps her best scarf around her neck and chest, that just perhaps it will be warm enough this February morning that she may walk over to Yew Tree Farm and visit with Mrs. Mason. She’s tired of being cooped up in the cottage. The winter’s been a cold and dreary one.


Elsie swallows down one last fortifying drop of tea and puts down her cup beside her plate and drops the last scrap of the bacon rasher she’s been nibbling on to the floor where the scruffy wire hair terrier that followed Charles home two springs ago laps it up. She reaches down and scratches the mut between his ears and thinks for the thousandth time that she never would have thought her husband would have brought strays home and yet they’ve had three of them over the course of their marriage. Lad may not be to the manor born, but he’s a good dog and keeps her company.

She’ll do the washing up after her visitor leaves. She has plenty of time for that sort of thing now. There is another knock at the door and it isn’t insistent; it isn’t rude or demanding. Whomever is on the other side probably thinks she hasn’t heard the first attempt to summon her is all. Elsie sighs and wonders who could be out on such a morning. It isn’t time for the papers to be delivered and she hasn’t ordered any milk or eggs for today.

As she passes from the kitchen through the sitting room on her way to the door, she catches a glimpse of herself in the glass. She touches a hand to her hair and smoothes it across the mostly white strands; a few threads of brown stubbornly hang on, but she wonders for how much longer. She’s never been a terribly vain woman, but she still keeps herself up. Even though her hips have filled out and her shoulders have rounded. She looks more a grandmother now than the housekeeper. Funny the irony of it. She isn’t Granny to anyone; she has no grandchild to cuddle. She hasn’t been Mrs. Hughes in nearly two decades; she hasn’t a house with staff to command. She is simply Mrs. Carson and it’s the simplicity of that title suits her best.

It’s only when she opens the door and the cold comes rushing in that she realizes she is still in her dressing gown, and she instinctively wraps her free arm around herself. But this man, the one who is standing before her so early this morning will not mind if she is still in her dressing gown and slippers because he’s seen her like this many times before in the middle of the night when there was a crisis. When William and Mr. Matthew had gone missing, when flu had overtaken the house, when poor Lady Sybil had died so suddenly, and when Lady Edith set fire to her bedroom that awful night.

“I hope that I didn’t wake you.”

“No. Old habits,” she responds fondly. “It is freezing. You’ll your catch death. Come in.”

I asked the librarian if they had any books on How to Sleep Forever.

You see, my heart
broke one rainy night
when Grief knocked

On my door and I let
him in for a cup of tea
and some company.

You see, the poets lie
when they say
Time heals all wounds

Because Grief did leave,
but his muddy footprints
stained the welcome mat.

And the birds laid
their eggs. And the worms
burrowed deeper into the earth.

But the sun is a cruel lover
and so the grass grows
and the worms die.

They say Time heals all wounds
but every night I lie still
and feel my heart breaking.

It’s the clock ticking,
my Dream whispers
and every morning

I wake to the equator
pulling me closer
into its embrace.

You see, my cruel lover,
we were children once
and we know it is a mother’s kiss

That heals all wounds.
From here, we only grow older
and our wounds run deeper.

request
MJL

At times the same place of the unbelonging place of the difficult same builds itself to a wall. I made a mistake and let all the Shoulds chatter and clatter: The stuck of stuck should be undone by now by now strong should mean more than fragile by now shouldn’t you be Out past Out past Out past.

The now of here fights me, I cleaned the shelves and now Battles and Shaky are looking for their places. Staring me down and Fragile and I stare back. New Things are expected, I tell them. Let’s go for a walk.

Now in the ache of the mess of it is when you love her better, love her defiantly, love her stubbornly adamantly in spite of in spite of.