grey sand

Sometimes Forgiving Is Hard

(contains spoilers from Thomas’s new video’s including Morality’s new name. I know some people haven’t watched it yet for various reasons *cough* one reason was closed captions*cough**cough* so I’m just going to leave this warning here.)


@killerfangirl3 @starrykid @nebulastep @prinxietyhell @dan-yuna @analogically-prinxiety @obviouslyelementary @lekawaiimelon @whatevermate1234 (i cant remember everyone i was supost to tag i apologize)

Tw: Morality angst, bullying, doubt


Patton was frowning. He had managed to keep a smile on his face, most of the time, but… he still felt torn inside.

_

“Morality! YOU are the issue here!” Logan said. He knew how bad Logan was at  expressing emotions so he just assumed that he was just saying something and meaning another thing. Besides, he was his best friend, he couldn’t possibly be being mean.

“Aww, Logan, I love this teasing lil back-and-forth we have here!” Morality said, not understanding it completely.

“No. I’m serious. And I always have been. And forever will be.” Logan snapped.

_


He closed his eyes. Logan had said nice things at the end, he was fine.

_

“YOU are holding Thomas back” Prince said.

_

He winced and took a sharp breath in. During the video, Roman had praised him for thinking of giving the others their rooms.

_

“His heart’s just not in the right place.” Anxiety said.

_

Patton bit his lips. Anxiety was just trying to lead him back to where he should be, and that was taking care of Thomas.
_

“I am always a proponent of following one’s heart… but, if it is not helping on the quest to fulfill one’s longing then what is the gosh darn ding dang point?” Prince glanced over at Patton as he spoke.
_

Patton let out a sob as he remembered the pain he felt when Prince looking at him.
_

“B-But, kiddo–” Morality was interrupted,
“That’s just it! I’m not a ‘kiddo’ anymore!” Thomas snapped.
_

Morality whimpered. ‘Thomas was just tired of being referred to a kid. He just wanted to be seen as a grown up.’
_

“We need actual contributions from you every now and then” Prince said.
_

Morality clenched tighter to his bed, trying to hold back sobs (and failed.)
_

“You stand there making your… puns… and are just… needlessly silly. All the time. Logic said.
_

Why did this hurt?

_

"Perhaps it’s best you just stick to knowing the difference between right and wrong and leaving the rest to us.” Prince.
_

He sobbed, letting the words rush around his head. They all apologized, he shouldn’t be feeling this way. He let it happen anyways, it felt so good to get it out.

He hated it.

‘But it’s good to let emotions out! Healthy even!’ he told himself

‘Yeah, but you shouldn’t be feeling this way at all. What they said stung. and why did it sting? becase they don’t care. They should be fixing it and making things better.’ another part of him said.

‘But they are already trying to make it better! They caught their mistake and now they’re trying to fix it!’ he tried to reassure himself.

‘Not really. They’re not here now are they?’ Morlaity felt a sharp pain as he inhaled. That thought hurt.

But… but they were his friends how could they do that to him?

‘They’re human, they all make mistakes.’

But why did it hurt so much?

Morality sobbed clinging to the bed. His thoughts confusing him. Why couldn’t he just forget about it. He’s probably said a few hurtful things to the others once or twice and they forgave him.

“Patton?” he could hear a voice. He tried holding back a sob.

“Y-y-yeah.” He cursed himself for not keeping a straight voice.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he still couldn’t recognize the voice.

“I-I don’t kn-ow” Patton let out a sob. Why couldn’t he just forgive them? They probably felt guilty enough, he didn’t have to make it worse. He hated himself for not moving on.

He felt a dubious arm around him. Morality wanted contact so bad so he turned towards the owners chest and grabbed their jacket, sobbing.

“I’m here,” they said. It sounded awkward, but he could tell they meant it.

Patton kept sobbing letting his emotions have control. He felt their arms hesitantly move up and down his back as if it was foreign to him. Patton kept crying, as the owner got more comfortable hugging him. A little while after Patton calmed down he was surprised to hear  Anxiety speaking to him;

“Do you want a patt-on the back?” he asked. Patton giggled.

“Th-a-t was funny” Patton sniffled.

“Yeah, you used it on me once, except you literally jumped on me.” Anxiety answered.

“Yeah, I’m-I’m sorry about that.” Paton said, feeling guilty about that day.

“It’s alright, it could have been worse.” Anxiety hugged Patton closer.

They stayed quiet for a minute. Patton enjoyed the silence, sniffling once in awhile.

“Do-” Anxiety hesitated before continuing, “do you want to talk about it?”

Patton thought about it for a minute. It was a good idea to talk about his feelings.

“I just-i hate myself for feeling bad about the things you guys said, you already apologized, but I can’t seem to get over it.”

“Hey, take it easy on yourself. I’ve been holding onto what people say for years and I’m still not over it. Its barely been a day for you.” Anxiety said.

“Y-yeah, but-” He hiccupped, “but I’m-I’m the heart, I’m sup-post to forgive people easily.”

“You can still take your time. You have feelings after all. Sometimes it’s good to take your time. It lets others know that what they did wasn’t okay.” Anxiety answered. Patton sniffled, but smiled.

“When-when did you grow up to be so-so smart?” Patton asked.

“Since i was born.” Anxiety answered. Patton laughed.

“If you say so k-kido.” Patton smiled and looked up at Anxiety.

“Thanks for-for being here.” Patton said. Anxiety shrugged and continued rubbing Patton’s back. Patton sniffled for a while and leaned closer to Anxiety.

“Would you like to play with some goo?” Anxiety offered after a while. Morality lit up and nodded.
“I have some in my room- or do you want to stay in here?” Anxiety sounded a little hesitant.

“Can we stay in here?” Patton was nervous, he didn’t want to ruin the moment with Anxiety.
“It’s fine, but if you dare tell anyone i did this i will not be held accountable for the things i do.” Anxiety snarled.

“Aw you tease!” Patton answered before getting up to find his Goo, and Anxiety’s grey sand. He found them in his desk and brought it over to the little table he had set up in his room. He beckoned Anxiety over pointed at the sand he had brought and opened the can of his goo. Anxiety sighed but walked up to the table and sat text to him, rolling his eyes when Morality showing Anxiety his colorful goo, Morality pulled the goo and squeezed it together, smiling at the sticky feeling.

Anxiety rolled his eyes a few times, but he seemed to be enjoying his sand.

They didn’t do much talking, but they did enjoy each other’s presence.

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