sherlock holmes: a man who claims that sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side and yet he can’t bear the sight of john’s chair empty, a man who defines love as a “human error” and comes back to life only because the love of his life may be in danger; a man who doesn’t consider himself a hero and who kills someone knowing fine well it is a death sentence on himself, to make sure john is safe and happy living a life he always wanted
but after John finds out about Sherlock being tortured in Europe, John begins to notice that Sherlock would flinch or look uncomfortable whenever someone mentioned torture during a case or whatever, and John would suggest that Sherlock visits his old therapist, Ella. Reluctantly, Sherlock obliges, and during his first session he spends a good fifteen minutes talking about how brilliant he is and how he doesn’t need to be there because he’s fine, and then Ella just leans forward and says “you don’t believe what you just said about yourself. beneath all that, you don’t think very much of yourself, do you?” and Sherlock just breaks
yeah but can we talk about maybe one day john and sherlock hug and sherlock winces because one of his torture wounds hadnt healed properly and john is like “sherlock, are you okay?” and sherlock tries to tell john to ignore it but john insists on knowing whats wrong and reluctantly, sherlock takes off his shirt and reveals his fucked up back, painted with scars and cuts and john is so shocked at the bastards that did this to this truly brilliant man. john kisses every cut and scar on sherlocks back and by the end, sherlock is shamelessly crying. he turns around and requests john takes his jumper off and john does it without hesitation but is confused and sherlock kisses john’s bullet wound so so carefully and says “i once told you that heroes don’t exist. i realise i was wrong.” and john swears he feels his heart melt in his chest
the first night john and sherlock share a bed as a couple, sherlock has a nightmare. he’s back at dartmoor and he sees dr frankland with the gas mask, but instead of seeing moriarty beneath it, he sees mary. suddenly she’s in her wedding dress and she shoots him again and before he knows it, he’s back in one of the torture chambers. mary (in her wedding dress) and moriarty begin torturing sherlock both verbally and physically; “john’s too good for you”, “he’s going to leave you”, “john watson doesn’t love you”. the detective shoots up like a bolt and is as white as a sheet and john slowly wakes up too, seeing how distressed sherlock is and wrapping his arms around him. “i love you”, “it’s okay, sweetheart, i’m here”, “i’ve got you, shhh,” john murmurs tenderly and peppers equally tender kisses all over sherlock’s sweat-slicked face and neck, until they both slowly drift back to a calm sleep. sherlock never tells john what he had a nightmare about that night, but from that night on, he knows that he is and always has been good enough for john watson, because john chose him.
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HOW TO SPOT A SHERLOCKIAN
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