Extroverted Introverts: Ten things to know
Also known as an ambivert, an extroverted introvert is someone who exhibits qualities of both introversion and extroversion.
1. Their spot on the spectrum changes with their environment.
Your ambivert friend may be loud and gregarious around their family, but quiet and thoughtful at the office. Seeing them in both situations may feel like meeting two entirely different people.
2. Talking to strangers is fine – but don’t expect them to keep it to small talk.
Although an ambivert can hold up their end of a conversation, talking about the weather will not be enough to engage them. Their social energy is limited enough that they won’t want to waste it on meaningless chatter. They will likely push the conversation into deeper territory or bow out entirely.
3. They like to be alone – they don’t like to be lonely.
There is a big difference between the two. Choosing to sit at home with a tub of ice cream and a book feels fantastic. Sitting at home because nobody called them back feels sad and lame.
4. Getting them out of the house can be a challenge.
If you catch your friend on a highly introverted day, you may just be better off leaving them at home. They might manage to be social, but they’ll just be thinking about their books and their couch the whole time.
5. If they’re new, you can find them in the back of the room.
An introverted extrovert will approach new situations with cautious excitement. If they know someone in the group, they will likely cling to them a bit as they become comfortable. If they do not, they might waver on the edge of the crowd, slowly getting used to the water rather than jumping in all at once.
6. They’re selectively social.
They don’t mean to be snobs. They just have limited social energy and prefer interacting one-on-one or in small groups. For this reason, they can only afford to invest their social time and energy in those who they feel truly connected to.
7. Making friends is easy. Keeping them is hard.
They like talking to people, but they value their alone-time, as well. This can make maintaining a friendship tricky. If your ambivert friend makes an effort to consistently invest time and energy in your friendship, be glad. You are truly special to them.
8. Their social desires change with the breeze.
They might be desperate to hang out with you on Friday, but then not answer your call on Saturday. They’re not mad at you. They’re just super comfortable in bed watching films.
9. They can talk to you for hours.
If you manage to catch them in a one-on-one situation, an extroverted introvert will just not shut up. Once their interest is engaged, there’s no stopping them.
10. Listening is great too, though.
Sometimes they want to be a part of the action, but their social energy levels are too low for them to contribute in a meaningful way. Listening allows them to get to know you without burning up their social fuel. They also know its value from their chattier moments when they are desperate for an ear.