The taste of my last relationship is still lingering on my tongue. Bittersweet. Be patient with me. Give me time to rinse it out.
I don’t know when to speak or when to shut up.
I carry my problems and my past in the back pockets of my shorts. Ocassionally, I will reach for them, forgive me when I do, it’s a force of habit and I do not know how not to.
I’m stubborn, I hate carrying an umbrella everywhere I go, even if it is raining outside. I’m the type of girl who will put on a hoodie or jacket and either embrace the rain or sprint through it.
I’m selfish sometimes, that, I’ll admit. Sometimes I don’t bother about what you have to say and I’ll make it seem as though it’s all about me but when I am selfless, I give you my everything, every single piece of me. I would tear down my very existence for you if you asked, it’s something I’ve learned to do when I was with the first boy who broke my heart.
I’m also impulsive, especially when we argue, I will be as agressive as the sea during a storm. I’ll tell you the things that you don’t want to hear, the things you shouldn’t have heard, the things that should have never left my mouth. I’ll say the words as loud as thunder, as rough as the currents and regret the shipwreck after the storm has cleared; but you know what they say, “a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”. Please remember that I never intend to be that way, I promise.
I love it when you show me you care and that you’re proud to have me. Show me off whenever you get the chance. I’ll be doing the same.
When it seems like I’ve given up on us, please know that I haven’t. Please, I beg of you, please give me time. Sometimes I will shut down and prefer to be alone, it’s a coping mechanism. When I push you away, this is when I need to hear “I love you” most.
I love music, it’s the only thing that has been there for me when I had no one, I have spent many years clinging to music, it was my only consistent source of support. I want to be your pillar of strength, I want to be as supportive to you as music is to me.
Please, share as much as you can with me. I won’t always know what to say but I promise you that I will always be ready to listen and I will always be ready to offer you a shoulder to lean on no matter what and I really do mean it when I say no matter what.
When we are fighting, please don’t go to the girl who lives down the street, please don’t go to the girl who loved you before me, please don’t go to the girl who you’ve just met a week ago in the coffee shop, I know her eyes shine brighter than mine and she’s not as broken as I am and it’s tempting to leave the broken porcelain doll for a brand new Barbie, but please, stay by my side. I may not be perfect but I am sincere. We’ll get through our tough times, we will fix the shipwrecks. I beg of you, do your best to never request for a breakup. Unless that is something that will make you happy. I just want you to be happy.
I love green tea, Fall Out Boy, sushi, frozen yogurt, Ben & Jerry’s, cuddling on a rainy day, lip biting, neck kissing, loud music. I will love your company, I will love your presence, I will love your existence, I will love the way our bodies fit perfectly against each other when we’re cuddling, I will love doing nothing all day with you, I will love the way our fingers interwind, I will love the way you feel like home.
To the boy who will love me next, I will love you with all my heart. Please, love me with all your heart too.
Jessica Lim, Something I Wrote Fresh Out Of A Break Up In 2015
Gym day and a walk about shoreditch and stepney green. Discovered a new place with Green Tea frozen yogurt! Was so good but it was definitely not the right weather for it - got brain freeze with every spoon 🤕