green snot

Fuck daycare parents

Working at in home daycare, and let me tell you I have met some of the stupidest adults on this planet holy shit.

An older woman, grandma of two young kids like 3 and 5… has custody of them because their father is in jail and their mother is on drugs/in jail so she lost custody. She loves to go on and on about how terrible their mother is…. right in front of them. They still see her on visitation, and gma is just “your mother this, your mother that” all day.

She also let a kid come in sick because it was “just allergies” with green snot and a fever. Claims to have gone to the doctor and he also said just allergies.

Yeah say it to my year old daughter who had a fever for three days (with highs of 104) and was miserable for a week. Allergies, my asshole.

This isn’t even the only thing she’s done, the girl is also allergic to mosquitos and what do we see all summer? Giant puffy lumps all over her because gma wanted them to play outside all day, saying bug spray “doesn’t work” on them.

Fucking people. I want to take all your kids away.

The drought is over. There was a blackout and a rumble, the thunderstomached god sucking his misplaced angel off of the playground. The sticky fingers and bobbled pigtails disappear from the teeter totter and the balance is restored. The fields go green overnight, like a bone snapped.

Hound Dog comes on beneath static and rain, rising like a new born zombie, I am decoding nothing except the pins and needles in my chest. Hearts are like dogs sometimes, they know a ghost when they see one. And this is the song that makes the spirits under my bed come out and dance with me. This is the one that makes the bogeyman get electric all night long.

I pressed my nose against the glass at the snake exhibit, and wiped the green snot from my red nose with my blue sweater. I wished I could take you home with me. Slide you into the cubbie holes of bullies, and let them feel the venom like I feel the venom. All my sweaters are black now. That was not a choice, that was a prophecy spoken by you alone. The red eyed, the ancient skinned, and colder than your swimming pool in half naked january.

We are moving fast, and ignoring the signs. Some of them use letters, mostly though just roadkill. We are mixing the taste of squirrel blood and skidding tires into truth or dare at sleepaway camp, sneaked out and hopped up, and smacking this broken flashlight into a spruce tree. The mist carries the smell of deer carcass and marsh flesh, into your socks, between your toes, curling around your sprained ankles like a one eyed cat. Beckoning bad luck. A scream from the woods cuts the sky open. We all hear it. We put our tongues out for the rain.

The drought is over. The geek down the street slipped and busted his asthmatic lungs at the edge of the lake, that’s the end of the story, ok? Ok. The drought is over, we wake to dew on our eyelashes, and the roses outside the town asylum yellow instead of brown. The grass is green now, the dryads are drinking wine with their sisters, the woodland fairies are alive and tearing their struggling food to pieces, green wrigglers and powdery moth flesh between their pink jaws. Three weeks of rain and for once in neighborhood history everybody kept their tongues in their mouths.

He just slipped. We got our sacrifice, we aren’t savages like our fathers, but we got our sacrifice, even if we didn’t ask for it. We throw the evidence into the river, and hope for a good summer.

—  4. cult practice starts in suburbia

ok so last night i admitted to wanting to fuck a green snot cloud tonight i admitted to finding a cursed fursuit cute what the fuck am i gonna say tomorrow

notes “i hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” au, from this post

If there’s a patron god of irony, they must be laughing their ass off at this very moment. 

The stranger–first name Zuko, according to the chart she’d snuck a peek at–goggles out from under his sloppy bangs. 

“Say that again.”

Katara rocks back and forth in the guest chair, then forcibly stills herself when she remembers the splintered look of the snot-green plastic. She bunches her fists against her sternum, bearing down like she can hold in the urge to yell. 

“I…am a medical student.”

The guy–Zuko–transfers his stare to his shiny new leg cast. “Okay. What’s the punch line?” 

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I hope Ubisoft fires whoever the hell it was that had the idea to make the Rook’s gang colour that awful snot green. I think you should be able to choose your gang colour to be honest. It’s also very stereotypical and annoying that the enemies are always predominantly red now. None of this stuff is a huge deal, but come on Ubi, you can do so much better.

pokemon trainers according to fanon
  • Red: bad @ss overlord, tsundere, sometimes either a ghost or an animated corpse, he’s very sad on the inside
  • Rival Green/Blue: irredeemable lil snot or a jerk for a decent reason, family problems, usually a love interest, totally gaga for Red, gets hurt a lot?
  • Leaf: ???, “I’m not a guy!”, either is in love with rival or hates him (it’s usually both), ready 2 kick butt, ?? ? not many leafs
  • Lyra: weeeEee, literally exists to annoy silver, looks like Mario apparently, is secretly kris
  • Ethan: either pure smol boy or a sinner like gold from pokespe, lots of togepi and egg
  • Silver: emo, dad problems, full of salt and hate, *Italian swearing*, usually gets stuck with chikorita and gets upset, he loves sneasel and his big bat, very gay
  • Brendan: full of himself, kinda rude at first, tries to be a manly man, likes the protagonist
  • May: sometimes pretty feminine, likes to annoy the team leaders, also just destroys everything in her path
  • Dawn: very smart, beats up cyrus, beats up gods, she’s cool
  • Lucas: sassy smart, kind of a nerd, pretty gay, would punch cyrus again 10/10
  • Barry: attention span of a squirrel, gotta go fast meme, the most gay, is a good nice friend, he like to joke, nice fashion sense
  • Hilda: Punk with shades, just slays everyone, arrogant and ignorant lil crud, she either loves n or hates his guts (or sort of both)
  • Hilbert: cute, wants to do the right thing, doesn’t know what’s going on, generally a lot nicer than Hilda
  • Cheren: angry, classic anime tsundere, *anime glasses sparkle*, isn’t nice to himself or anyone else, sassy, has issues
  • Bianca: big and lovable or annoying and dumb, cute girl friend, ditzy, a lot stronger than she thinks she is, always wants to help and protect everyone
  • N: awkward and confused (pokemon white) or angry and naïve (pokemon black), ditzy and oblivious to everything, scares everyone, stalker (intentionally or not), filled with so much guilt, has HUGE crush on protagonist
  • Rosa: lovable bubbly human being, has crushes on everyone, everyone has crushes on her, likes donuts, classic anime magical girl
  • Nate: a fluffy dog?, a big dork, heroic and determined, sometimes pretty serious, really good friends with Hugh
  • Hugh: has crush on protagonist, a good brother, loud, either wildly annoying or just very angry and rash, gets flustered easily, he’s a qwilfish
  • Calem: fancy French boy, looks great and very fashionable, beats up team flare left and right, kinda sad
  • Serena: ultimate fashionista, will judge your outfits, sort of cold (if the rival), very serious