green lantern rings

  • superman, trying to break a batman/green lantern fight up: y'all'd've done a better job during the mission if you didn't fight all the time. i know yain't that cooperative in the first place but at least try
  • batman:
  • green lantern:
  • batman:
  • green lantern:
  • batman:
  • green lantern: the ring can't translate——
  • batman: ——i'm quitting the justice league

I’m fucking dying; we’ve got this three year old over, and he finds our Green Lantern mask, so he comes up to me wearing it and asks what Green Lantern’s powers are.  So I tell him Green Lantern has a ring that can ‘make anything he imagines’ (I mean he’s three, I’m not going to Get Into It) and he runs off.

And like 40 seconds later, we hear, “Ring, make me into the Flash!”

Fuckin’ COLD, man.

Things Damian Wayne has Definitely Done at Some Point

- challenged a  pigeon to a duel

- tried taking Goliath to Petsmart

- built a tree house with Colin behind Wayne Manor

- had a 36-hour Disney movie marathon with Dick

- snuck into Selina’s place when she wasn’t home to cuddle with her cats

- couldn’t handle the “Baby Mine” scene in Dumbo and broke down in Bruce’s lap

- punched a computer and broke the screen

- gave Tim a dead spider for Christmas

- bit a woman’s finger when she tried to pinch his cheek

- attempted to adopt a giraffe

- reluctantly dressed as Pinkie and The Brain with Dick for Halloween (he being Brain of course)

- made the mistake of walking in on Dick and Barbara and was thoroughly scarred for life

- got kicked out of class for correcting a teacher numerous times and maybe definitely calling her an “uncultured babbling wench”

- got the nickname Stewie Griffin for obvious reasons

- lost a bet with Steph and had to wear a pink batman onesie for an entire day

- had a nightmare about his death and cuddled with Jason the entire night

- was too short for every roller coaster at Adventureland

- replaced a sleep deprived Tim’s coffee grounds with dirt

- made Bruce get a ticket because he rode in the front without a car seat

- gave a pediatrician a black eye when given his flu shot

- stole Hal Jordan’s Green Lantern ring somehow and used it to make a giant fire sword

- got caught singing along to Whitney Houston

- got mistaken for a seven year-old

- thrust a butterknife through a table when offered a kid’s menu at a restaurant 



See Jason Todd one here

See Tim Drake one here

“Blue Lanterns must be near an active Green Lantern’s power ring to tap into their own rings’ full power“
“a blue ring can in fact charge any power ring as long as the users of the blue light wish to”
”Blue Lanterns can heal wounds and regenerate lost body parts.”

So this:

is basically like this:

Kyle's origin

I genuinely love the fact that this is basically Kyle Rayner’s origin story.

Kyle: So, I was at a bar and I needed to pee. All the places I could pee were taken. So, I went outside to take a piss in an alley. Then out of nowhere a little blue guy named Ganthet showed up, looked at me and said “you’ll do.” He then gave me a Green Lantern ring, and that was that. I became a superhero.

Dumb Hos, who are usually low class and fuck for Olive Garden and T-Mobile bills. Basic Hos, who are usually of a higher class, but don ’ t have the sense to hustle for more than free entry to parties and an occasional handbag. Finally, Smart Hos, who have reached the upper echelon of seduction and have fully mastered the art of “ Give me because it makes you feel good to see me smile. ”


Smart Hos are the most hated women on the planet because they don ’ t use ass and titties; they use their brains to turn men into tricks without them even realizing they are tricks. The girls I talked to while researching this book get condos, cars, tuition, and whatever else they need to live. Smart Hos know how to use their pussy like a Green Lantern ring; all they do is focus on what they want, and shit falls out of the sky.

—  Ho Tactics: How to MindFuck A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring