the first few weeks of the justice league actually being a team are probably a fucking nightmare. superman keeps using midwestern expressions. you’re not going to need paper towels to clean this up, you’re gonna need an irrigation system, he says. nobody is entirely sure what that means. aquaman keeps leaving in the middle of fights to go save lobsters from restaurants, because he can’t just let them get eaten, y'know? wonder woman quickly figures out that there’s maybe three people here with any serious combat experience. the flash is just a police officer, man. that’s all he knows. she’s in despair. speaking of the flash, someone made the mistake of giving him caffienated coffee, and now the power’s out. someone tell green lantern that he can’t wear the same gross jacket to every meeting. shouldn’t his space cop uniform keep him warm. who keeps playing ‘mmm whatcha say’ over the speakers. batman keeps disappearing during after battles, and it turns out he’s at the daycare down the street hanging out with the babies. he got bored
The Justice League forms a giant mech and what parts they are really says a lot bout them as a team.
Batman, the head. He really keeps the situation under control and stays aware of the entire situation and every situation.
Superman, the core and heart of the team. You can’t have a Justice League without the Big Blue Boy Scout.
Wonder Woman and Cyborg, the arms. They both are able to accomplish the tasks at hand given their own abilities, backgrounds, and trials they’ve faced.
The Flash and Aquaman, the legs. Needless to say quite often these two characters have proven to be able to get the team moving throughout different story arcs and can be more than you bargain for if you’re not seeing it coming.
you know that post that goes around talking about how alien life would be afraid of earth and its crazy oxygen breathing lifeforms?
I need to write a one-shot about Hal Jordan explaining to a young Superman that earth is actually an extremely gross hella toxic hell world for alot of other alien life forms out there. Sure,alien invasions are happening all the time, but no one wants this pathogenic shit hole. Nah.
“Okay,” Supes would say, “but if we’re such a lousy planet, why do we have like two Green Lanterns? How come so many threats end up out here?”
And Hal gets all cagey like “Look, man, don’t be mad but 99% of the reason bad dudes come to this planet is because its like space Australia. Lanterns think it’s funny to like… trick bad guys into coming out here so they either get wiped out by some mutated super virus or a tropical storm or something.”
Supes just like, “Lobo doesn’t seem like he’d be bothered by a storm.”
“Right, well, if the storms don’t get them, then the statistically improbable Kryptonian roided out on yellow sunlight certainly will…”
“Do not send dangerous criminals to Earth to fight me! And I am not ‘roided out’. Is that what you’re telling people?!”
“They never see it coming. It’s like intergalactic Thunder Dome.”
1. When she’s going from the top of a building to the ground floor, she never takes the stairs, or the elevator. No, she jumps, and lands with a MASSIVE smile on her face.
2. Will occasionally use her lasso to swing from things and pretend to be Batman.
3. Switches languages mid-sentence whenever she’s talking to Billy, just to see if he can keep up. He always can.
4. Whenever a group of children starts playing near her, she automatically and without fail joins the game. Parents have stories of the time they met Wonder Woman patiently listening to their children explain the rules of freeze tag.
5. Is well aware that she is the only woman that Hal Jordan finds too intimidating to flirt with, so she aggressively flirts with him instead just to watch him get flustered.
6. Worst puns in the Justice League. In 600 languages.
7. Makes frequent “when I was your age” jokes that refer to ancient historical events that she could not possibly have been there for.
8. Curates multiple fandom blogs on subjects as diverse as Greek tragedy, Star Wars, anime, and board games. Spends her monitor duty updating those blogs instead of working because “Athena will tell me if anything happens.”
9. Anytime a mythological figure is mentioned, no matter from what mythology or whether they’re real or not, responds, “oh yeah, they owe me money.”
10. Keeps stealing Bruce’s planes, because they all have cloaking technology that renders them near-invisible and she claims she “couldn’t tell the difference.”
I’m going to be collaborating with @chromapulse on some of these from now on, so if you’re enjoying this you should watch their blog too.