green kewpie


ng time no see, boners
So cooking for a living is really doing a number on my recipe blogging and anime watching, but nothing could stop me from watching the literal FUCKIN masterpiece that is Yuri on Ice

Now, while you dicknuggets may not be able to embody the sexual grace of a katsudon as well as Yuri, you can at least make a sexy katsudon whilst crying and belting out the theme song in your bedroom 2 hours before you have to go make fancy bread for all the fancy mofos that feel like dropping 3+ hundos on a meal that involves your fancy bread hahaha what that’s definitely not how I spent last night idk what you’re talking about fuckjcxz,,,

Whatever here’s the recipe

-2 pork cutlets
-panko bread crumbs
- 2 eggs for egg wash 
-canola oil
-this shits definitely already on my blog. Like to my first post. Steal that shit from there man, use that tonkatsu recipe to complete this fine ass Katsudon

The whole thang-
-the two breaded cooked pork thingies
-Japanese style rice (I have the recipe somewhere on this blog, check that shit out, fam) about 2.5 cups worth
- tonkatsu sauce (also on my blog, but I recommend using brown sugar instead of regular sugar, shit tastes wayyy more cash money)
-kewpie mayo
-green onions, chopped, whites and greens separated
-a few handfuls of red cabbage
-minced garlic and ginger (however much suits your taste)
-2 eggs, whisked with soy sauce/tamari and sesame oil to taste

-Now in order to put it all together, get your rice down and drizzle that tonkatsu sauce and kewpie all over that bitch. Bukkake on that rice like you’re paying $4/hr for its delicious short grained company

- sweat the white part of the green onion and the shredded red cabbage in some sesame oil, once its nearly there (light bite to it, not mushy but definitely a bit softer), add the soy sauce and toss

-add your tonkatsu, allow that to soak in them sweet sweet veggie juices

-lower the heat in the pan from med-high to low, take your whisked eggs with soy sauce and pour over the delightful pile of meat and healthy shit. Get that shit lightly coated and then cover and allow the eggs to cook using the residual heat and the steam, any more heat and you risk over cooking the eggs and making them all nasty and rubbery

-once ready, slide over on top of the rice and drizzle with more tonkatsu sauce. Top with the green part of the green onions, a dollop on kewpie and a little Dijon for that tiny kick


Now go, be one with this katsudon, allow it to take your breath away. Let it be the yuri to your victor. I’m so tired but I’m probably still gonna drink a lot and rewatch this because I have no sense of responsibility or shame.

And yes, I will be having katsudon leftovers while I rewatch yuri on ice, fuck you I need this

Later fuckbuckets