green giant

Best parts of Moana:
-no love interest
-Moana had proportions like an actual human and wasn’t sexualized
-Disney princess set to inherit is actually depicted being trained in running her society
-COCONUT PIRATES
-no dead parents!
-bechdel test pass
-respectful depiction of source material and culture
-the music oh my god!!!!!
-Maui’s 4th wall breaks
-no actual villain
-closest thing to a villain was David Bowie crab
-Lin-Manuel Miranda
-the chicken
-only white in the cast voiced the chicken
-my giant green wife

The Jolly Green Giant
Justin, Travis and Griffin McElroy
The Jolly Green Giant

please listen to this short audio excerpt of griffin being provoked to an incoherent rage by his brother’s subpar understanding of vore

Why are the white people who against Black Panther so bad at lying?

They proudly exclaim how Wakanda (a technologically advanced African country) is just unrealistic. They vehemently spew some racist rhetoric and cry both in person and on social media…

Then when called out? They say “The entire marvel universe is unrealistic so what I’m saying isn’t false it’s just stating facts”…. except no.

There is a movie about a green woman, half alien, talking raccoon, and a animalistic tree flying through space and you praise it AND exclaim how excited you are to see it. A movie about a child who has spider-like abilities doesn’t make you “uncomfortable” even though it deviates from human norm…. a man transforming into a giant green monster doesn’t make you “uncomfortable”.

But the story of an advanced peaceful civilization that doesn’t involve raping, killing, colonization, AND ESPECIALLY white people makes you uncomfortable to the point where you have to voice your opinion?

Save your breath and just say “I don’t like the idea of Black People being great. I don’t like the idea of Black People not depending on white people. I don’t like Black People, period”

Olympic National Park’s rugged shoreline is rich with life. Invertebrates of countless shapes, sizes, colors and textures inhabit the tide pools along Washington’s coast. Pictured here is a starfish with Giant Green Anemones that opens its tentacles like flower petals in the tidal waters. Photo courtesy of Keith Ladzinski.

I have fallen down the "humans are space orcs/earth is space Australia" hole

I see a lot about humans being scary durable and cute and they bond readily to other creatures type of posts. But like what if the aliens don’t understand that we can bond with other creatures sometimes MORE than other humans….

——————————

Zůrłtg is “best friends” with human-trixie, their crew first got their human 7 cycles ago and it has been a fast friendship, humans are infamous for their bonding ability, but Zůrłtg didn’t know that they sometime bond more with one person then others. Zůrłtg was honored when human-trixie bestowed upon zem the title “best-friend”. Human-trixie joined the crew as there botanist, which might be part of there friendship as Zůrłtg is made mostly out of cellulose. She has been a true asset to the crew, as she has saved many a fellow crew member from harm with her bravery and courage.
Zůrłtg remembers unwillingly the time she pushed Captain Cul out the way of a carnivorous plant only to be devoured herself, and when all thought she had perished bust out of the bloom with the plants brain stem in hand.
Human-trixie is also adorable, she is small and kind and smart. So if this is what humans are like it no wonder everyone was so excited to be meeting with Space Crew Valen as they also has a human aboard. Maybe they will be lucky and their humans will mate and they can have baby humans!
Unfortunately for Zůrłtg the Valen crew human was not like human-trixie. He was not as small as human-trixie or having pleasing brown “hair” from his head, in fact he seemed to always be making the face human-trixie makes when she is displeased, though not nearly as adorable.
But ze tried not to judge a book by its cover as human-trixie would say and was extatic to meet him.
Even more unfortunate, the human did not choose to bond with zem as human-trixie did, in fact quite the opposite, this human, human-dave, did not like zem at all, calling zem a (swear word) jolly green giant and that he should (swear word) off.
OH NO this is terrible!!! Human-Dave will tell human-trixie not to like zem anymore and he will lose his “best-friend”. If ze had tearducts he would be crying like human-trixie when her pet-hamster-walnut died. Human-trixie must never know this or she will surely not like zem anymore!
To zes dismay human-trixie knew something was wrong the second that she saw his drooping mumds. Zůrłtg ended up telling her everything as ze is not as adept at the act of deception as her.
Zůrłtg watched with horor as human-trixie got really really still, “he said what?” she spoke with a stone voice so unlike her normal happy squeaky tones.
She got up.
This is it.
She is abandoning zem. She told zem to follow him as she walked calmly to the common room where the visiting crew was.
There must be a ceremony to leave a “best-friend” that another human must witness Zůrłtg thought. Or maybe she wanted say hurtful things with human-dave at him. Zůrłtgs mumds were dragging on the floor at this point.
Much to Zůrłtgs surprised as he watched human-trixie mall human-dave screaming swears words with a violence that none of either crews thought possible for such a small adorable being.
Zůrłtg was still disappointed about not getting any human babies but ze was releaved that ze was the “best-friend” of such a fierce creature.

anonymous asked:

ok lol i'm not trying to be racist but i'm pretty sure BP's going to be a huge flop even though a lot of people are going to watch it. wakanda is such an unrealistic country and I cringe every time i saw something from the trailer. in what world does a tiny third world country be more technologically advanced than any other??? this movei is honestly just Marvel's attempt at trying to be progressive and capitalizing on the "diversity' putting a whole bunch of blacks in a movie will bring

If you have to put “I’m not trying to be racist” before a message, heads up…you’re probably being racist. 

You think that a country in Africa can’t be technologically superior because it’s small and has literally no outside influence? Wakanda is the largest source of vibranium there is, which makes the country very wealthy. Adding on to that, Wakanda has a young and brilliant princess who designs technology to rival or even beat Tony Stark’s. Wakanda has a king who is one of the eight smartest people on earth. This kind of intelligence and wealth can do anything. So yeah, I’d say they don’t need any help being more technologically advanced than any other country. 

If the idea of a successful African country, and the idea of black children having a black superhero represented on the big screen causes you pain, then yeah, you’re racist.

Also a side note: you’re talking about a universe where a man can turn into a giant green rage monster, so I would really reevaluate your idea of what’s “unrealistic.”

Family

A family doesn’t need to be a father and a mother. A family can be a blue criminal grandpa, a violent cyborg cousin, a pansexual 80s meme dad, a team mom green mom, a giant tattoo dad who laughs at your misery, an insect daughter who laughs with him at your misery, a dad joke trash panda obsessed with guns, and a very angry tree gremlin.

  • Racist Comic Nerd: Black Panther isn't realistic.
  • Captain America: *a man is made into a weapon, gets frozen for years and then wakes up in modern times*
  • Iron Man: *rich guys makes himself a high-tech suit of armor*
  • Hulk: *random dude gets doused with radiation and turns into a huge, green giant when angry*
  • Spider-Man: *boy is bitten by spider and gains spider powers*
  • Guardians of the Galaxy: *contains a talking raccoon with a Boston accent whose best friend is a walking, talking tree*
  • Racist Comic Nerd: Yeah, Black Panther? Totally not realistic.
  • Black Comic Fans: *stare into the camera like they're on the Office*