green funerals

13 reasons why playlist

I made a playlist for a few characters from 13 reasons why. Not all of them have 13 tracks, but I tried my best lol. Feel free to add on / edit, but give credit :))

Better than me - The brobecks
All of the drugs - The brobecks
Make me wanna die - the pretty reckless
The cold - exitmusic
Time to say goodbye - twenty one pilots
Breathe me - Sia
When the story ends (piano) - the fray
Nothing - the script
Unsteady - X Ambassadors
Goner - Twenty one pilots
You found me - The fray
I gave you all - Mumford and sons
Empty - the click five

Get on the road - tired pony
Always on my mind - Elvis
If I could fly - one direction
Love you all along - La strada
All I want - kodaline
Turning page - sleeping at last
Angel - theory of a dead man
Johnny boy - twenty one pilots
I found - amber run
Talking to the moon - Bruno Mars
Six feet under - Billie Eilish
Hurts like hell - Fleurie
Terrible love - birdy

She’s so mean - matchbox twenty
Primadonna girl - marina and the diamonds
When you were young - the killers
You’re such a - Hailee Steinfeld
All the boys- panic! at the disco
Down - Jason walker
You don’t own me - Grace ft. G-eazy
When you’re gone - Avril Lavigne
Never say never - the fray
Photograph - ed Sheeran
Oceans - Seafret
Total eclipse of the heart - sleeping at last
Lovesick fool - the cab

My life - billy joel
Gotta get away - the black keys
How could I have known - Keaton Henson
Six degrees of separation - the script
Not over you - Gavin DeGraw
If you’re gone - matchbox twenty
Breaking inside - shinedown
Jet black heart - 5 seconds of summer
Heartless - the fray
Look after you - the fray
Screen - twenty one pilots
Blue - troye sivan ft. Alex hope
Call me - shinedown

Broken - Lund
Golden - fall out boy
Teenage dirt bag - Wheatus
What a catch, donnie - fall out boy
How’s it gonna be - third eye blind
Yellow - coldplay
Truce - twenty one pilots
Not about angels - birdy
This is gospel (piano) - panic! At the disco
Drown - bring me the horizon
Better than me - hinder
21 guns - Green day
The funeral - band of horses  

Bulletproof heart - my chemical romance
Dirty little secret - the all American rejects
Take care - Beach house
Don’t dream it’s over - crowded house
Ends of the earth - lord Huron
The scientist - coldplay
Lullaby - nickelback
Build a home - the cinematic orchestra
Mercury - sleeping at last
How to save a life - the fray
Rewind - Paolo Nutini
Fake your death - my chemical romance
Heroes - David Bowie

Same mistake - James Blunt
Don’t like you anymore - the brobecks
Ghosts that we knew - Mumford and sons
Sleeping pills - the brobecks
I’m not okay - my chemical romance
Taken by sleep - Tyler joseph
Cut the cord - shinedown
Semiautomatic - twenty one pilots

Mr. Brightside - the killers
Bully - shinedown
Gives you hell - the all American rejects
I will follow you - Tolouse
Reject - shinedown
Teenagers - my chemical romance

Saturn - sleeping at last
If I die young - the band perry
Far too young to die - panic! at the disco
Losing your memory - ryan star
Far away - nickelback

Kissed a girl - katy perry
Secret love song - little mix
You’ve got to hide your love - Brian Epstein

Mi chiamo Hazel. Augustus Waters è stato il grande amore avversato dalle stelle della mia vita. La nostra è stata una storia d’amore epica, e io non riuscirò ad aggiungere nemmeno un’altra frase senza scomparire in una pozza di lacrime. Gus sapeva. Gus sa. Non vi racconterò la nostra storia d’amore perché come tutte le vere storie d’amore morirà con noi, come deve. Speravo che facesse lui il discorso funebre per me, perché non c’è nessun altro che vorrei facesse… Non posso parlare della nostra storia d’amore, quindi vi parlerò di matematica. Non sono un matematico, ma una cosa la so: ci sono infiniti numeri tra 0 e 1. C’è 0,1 e 0,12 e 0,112 e una lista infinita di altri numeri. Naturalmente c’è una serie infinita di numeri ancora più grande tra 0 e 2, o tra 0 e un milione. Alcuni infiniti sono più grandi di altri infiniti. Ce l’ha insegnato uno scrittore che un tempo abbiamo amato. Ci sono giorni, e sono molti, in cui mi pesano le dimensioni della mia serie infinita. Vorrei più numeri di quanti è probabile che ne vivrò, e Dio, voglio più numeri per Augustus Waters di quelli che gli sono stati concessi. Ma Gus, amore mio, non riesco a dirti quanto ti sono grata per il nostro piccolo infinito. Non lo cambierei con niente al mondo. Mi hai regalato un per sempre dentro un numero finito, e di questo ti sono grata.
—  Colpa delle stelle.
The Guilt of Sasha Williams

(I’m combining asks since they cover the same topic essentially.)

When Sasha sacrificed herself in the finale this spring, her flashbacks to the music box scene increased discussion on her connection to Beth (X). But I’ll come back to the music box scenes in 7x16 later. 

Sasha’s first connection to Beth and cars goes all the way back to 4x01. In that episode Gimple seeded many future plot elements from Rich0nne to the Gl3ggie baby. In this episode, Daryl quips the infamous “damn romance novel” line, foreshadowing his future relationship/arc with Beth, which fits the arc of a romance novel perfectly (X) (X) (X). As he says that, the camera pans past him and passes over Tyreese and Sasha as they load up a car. They put in black crates with white crosses on them. The order of these shots is not a coincidence.

In Alone, Daryl does the best he can to confirm his feelings for Beth (X), and before he can finish, in the style of a romance novel she is kidnapped. For months, the only clue we and Daryl have of what happened is a black car with a cross on the back window.

Fast forward to season 5. Sasha and Tyreese have opposing views on how to save Beth and C@rol, and she’s also struggling with Bob’s death. They discuss the situation while overlooking the Grady parking lot. @bethgreenewarriorprincess​ and I theorized that Team Family could have taken the truck and later left Beth in it (X). The truck has a fridge in its bed, which would resemble a marble tomb. The truck also has a red bandanna tied to the radio antennae, similar to the red bandanna that Daryl used to tie the car trunk shut in 4x12. The truck even mirrors the Grady car, with the black body and white on the back. As I mentioned in my linked meta, the truck functions as a symbolic hearse. 

In 5x07, Sasha’s grief leads her to misjudge Grady!Bob, and he escapes. His death leads to Dawn having no allies, leaving her to ask for Noah back. It’s a chain reaction, a ripple effect like Martin said in 5x09 (X). 

In the span of a few weeks, Sasha loses her boyfriend, her best friend’s younger sister, and her brother. Sasha never sees her brother die, only being able to say goodbye at his funeral. They were alike in a lot of ways, and they both experienced guilt because of Beth, Ty’s was just more overt. Twice in 5x09, Tyreese focused on a female walker that was trapped in a car, and the shadowed walker looked so much like Beth that during the midseason hiatus, members of Team Delusional were convinced it was the actual Beth. In its first appearance, the walker caught the whole group off guard. I showed the scene to my old roommate, and she even noticed the group’s distress, and she doesn’t watch the show (X). By now, one trapped walker should not disturb these people. Unless of course, it reminded them of the girl they left behind.

The second time we see the walker is when Tyreese is dying. He stares at it as Rick drives away, and afterwards, Ty sees Beth as the driver. It is the last time we see her onscreen in any sense of “alive”. We see her onscreen one more time in 5x13. (This is also the last time Emily and Chad’s name appear on the title card.)

When the group reaches Alexandria, everyone struggles to adjust to the community’s fucked-up idea of “normal”. Sasha is one of the members having the hardest time, for obvious reasons. In 5x13, Sasha goes to Alexandria’s welcome party but quickly starts having flashbacks to various events in season 5. The flashbacks manifest as quick flashes of visuals and sounds. At 0:56, viewers see a clip of Daryl carrying Beth out of the hospital. (Unfortunately the video that the second anon linked no longer works so I recorded the scene myself.)

The shot is not from Sasha’s point-of-view, as she was behind Daryl and to his left (our right in this shot). The fence shot would be at the opposite side, behind Abraham. The flashback serves to remind the audience of Beth having no funeral, no closure for her family or for us, as it was juxtaposed against shots of Bob when he died beside Sasha and Ty being buried. It also reminds the audience of Beth and Daryl’s relationship, of his love for her, both of which are reinforced as Daryl has a “serious spaghetti” dinner with Aaron and Eric in this episode instead of going to the party. (This was also the episode with Buttons, when Daryl said, “You used to be somebody’s, now you’re just yours.” Which, jesus fucking christ the show is kicking us in the groin over this and I can’t sometimes.) The shot is also in motion, and rather than ending on the last shot of Coda, it leaves the story open for Beth in this moment, since we never saw what happened after. (I recommend reading this old meta on the flashback: X.)

Furthermore, Rick’s interest in Jessie continued to develop in this episode. @bethgreenewarriorprincess once theorized that he was drawn to her as a way to compensate for losing Beth, as she was designed as a Beth proxy: X. (Just compare pictures of her in the show to pictures in the comics and the differences are obvious.) He sees Jessie trapped in an abusive marriage, akin to Beth being trapped in an abusive community, so his subconscious sees it as a chance to save the girl he failed. He made the mistake of giving the Governor a chance, and it cost him Hershel and the prison. At first he wanted to just go into Grady guns blazing, but he deferred to Tyreese’s plan, and they still lost Beth. It’s why we see Rick go into Shane-mode in 5b, becoming more aggressive as Pete becomes more possessive and as his abuse comes to light. Rick can’t take chances anymore. In addition, at the end of the episode, after seeing Jessie with Pete, Rick hears a walker on the other side of the wall. He checks it out, and the scene is filmed with a strange, dreamlike mood to emphasize the effects of P.T.S.D.. A way TPTB did this was to use the song “Spicks and Specks” by the Bee Gees, which include these lyrics: “Where are the girls/I left far behind/The spicks and the specks/Of the girls on my mind/Where is the sun/That shone on my head.” And as we know, in TWD symbolism, Beth IS the Sun: X.

To resume, after having this flashback Sasha starts to bury walkers, specifically in 5x16. Like Rick, she is trying to “correct” her past mistake. She couldn’t stop the herd, and she couldn’t bury Beth, so she’s going to put down every walker that she can and then put them in the ground. It’s reminiscent of Morgan in 3x13, but Morgan just burned the bodies. Sasha is paying mind to the walkers’ past lives, and TPTB are alluding back to the funeral home caretaker and Beth’s “don’t you think that’s beautiful?” philosophy.

Towards the end of the episode, Sasha seeks out Father Gabriel for guidance. Gabriel instead accuses her of sins, also implicating her brother in her actions.

Why wouldn’t you want to die? You don’t deserve to be here. What you did can never be undone. The dead don’t choose, but the choices you made, how you sacrificed her

I know what you’re doing

Bob was mutilated. Consumed. Destroyed because of your sins. 

Stop it.

Your brother felt he was apart from it. He was a part of it. He didn’t deserve to be here. You don’t! 

Stop it! Stop it!” [emphasis mine]

(Subtitles note that Gabriel said “your own”, but this is wrong. I’ve listened to the audio, with and without headphones, as well as showed it to two friends. We’ve all heard “her”, which is very different from “your own” linguistically). 

I believe that during those 17 days Gabriel brought the walkers down on the group, similar to him leading the walkers from the school to the church in 5x08 (X). In 5x14, he told Deanna that the group was bad, as Maggie eavesdropped with a heartbroken look on her face. He saw them leave behind one of their own, and Maggie couldn’t confront Deanna about Gabriel’s as she couldn’t face losing Beth again. (Maggie copes by compartmentalizing to the extreme.) Tyreese and Sasha made the decision to put Beth, because of Gabriel’s mistake, so of course Sasha would be a walking reminder for what he did. That’s why he lashes out at her. The guilt would be even higher if the three of them believed that Beth was alive, as you don’t sacrifice a body. You sacrifice something alive. (I also believe that Abraham was involved, such as being the one to actually come up with the idea, because of marketing and certain narrative elements: X. It would partially explain why he and Sasha clicked so much in season 6.)

Overall, 5b focuses on the group coming to terms with losing Beth in different ways, especially those who feel most responsible. Towards the end of the summer hiatus TPTB continued to connect Beth and Sasha, using a Beth-walker in several character posters and promos (X) (X) (X) (X). 

In a massive meta Christy and I worked on last year, we noticed that the missing 17 days likely had similarities to the No Way Out arc in 6a and 6x09 (X). Everyone, but especially Rick, Sasha, Abe, and Daryl were struggling struggling in 5b and some of 6a as they hadn’t resolved Beth. I think we saw many similarities to the No Way Out arc is because the No Way Out arc is how Rick and Co. came to terms with losing Beth. Hence why we saw that Beth walker in so many posters leading up to season 6. They hadn’t fully come to terms with the loss of Beth until they relieved it and accepted that what happened happened and couldn’t be undone.

They lost Jessie/Beth again, but saved a whole community from a herd. It’s like Tyreese/Bob said in 5x09, “It went the way it had to. The way it was always going to.”

Beth had to be left behind so the Grady people could retrieve her, giving her needed medical treatment. Narratively, Beth also couldn’t just leave Grady. She had to escape there on her own (X).

Season seven is a retread of 5b and 6a. The group loses an emotional pillar of the group as well as a pillar of physical strength back-to-back, again, and all of TF has to rebuild, readjusting to new communities and changed dynamics. In the end, Sasha sacrifices herself for her family. The story comes full circle. While I worked on this meta, Christy and I talked about how the Williams siblings are twins, symbolically. As we’ve thought in the past, their deaths book end Beth’s “death” and resurrection. Go and rewatch 5x10, which is Beth’s resurrection in allegory. In two separate scenes characters talk about “being the same”. Michonne counsels Sasha, who was grieving through anger like Tyreese did with Karen. Then C@rol reached out to Daryl, acknowledging their similarities while also acknowledging that they grieve differently. The story keeps going in circles, keeps going back in time to Beth and her story, moving the characters through a funhouse. Sasha becomes the final mirror, committing suicide, as Beth once tried to, except to save her family. She dies in the coffin, which is covered by a yellow sheet, and “comes back”, disrupting the group’s confrontation with the Saviors as the ballerina’s resurrection inside the music box disrupted her and Maggie’s confrontation with Aaron. That’s why we saw original flashbacks of the music box scene four times. TPTB wanted to draw connections and show the parallels between the flashbacks and Sasha’s last stand.

Be patient, loves. It’s only a matter of time before Beth comes back from her own music box.

Morbid Short Poems for the Signs

When you were six you found a box of baby teeth in your mothers closet and that was the last day you can remember believing in anything.

If you had a penny for every time you believed your father when he said I love you you’d be in debt.

You eagerly crane your neck a little more each time you check the doorway for the boy you told to leave.

For senior prank your classmates hung up posters about teachers, but you hung up yourself

You used to always accidentally rip your favorite pages in books when you were little and now you do the same to the people in your life.

Putting your liver to the test on a school night won’t change the fact that you’re incapable of asking for help

You learned to apply pressure to wounds when you threw your lover angrily against a wall, but you don’t know where to push down now that your entire body feels numb

Wearing green at funerals is your forte because of your envy of the idea that someone finally gets to rest

You wish you could slice your wrists and plant flowers in your veins so the beauty could justify your pain

If it was possible to rip out your vocal chords and turn them into an instrument, it would make the loveliest sound anyone had ever heard

When you killed that man in 07 and they asked you why you did it you said your mother once told you to treat others how you wish to be treated.

You burn your feet when you dance in the cinders of the bridges you burned trying to prove that you are okay with being alone.

Personal Gnosis for Hel

Keeping track of my associations with Hel;

  • Direction: North (attested, Gylfaginning).
  • Elements: I feel her most in Air, in breaths and lights and shadows; then, in Water, through the ‘down and North’ into the great unknown across the sea, and in the water of ice and snow. I also see her in the fire of the viking burials, the fire that makes smoke and ash—and in the earth that holds our bodies, from which new life grows out of death and decay.
  • Stones: Hematite, larvikite, rose quartz, tourmalinated quartz, red (hematite inclusion) phantom quartz, black (carbon inclusion) phantom quartz, black tourmaline, moonstone.
  • Flowers: White roses, elderflower, honeysuckle, white lilies, belladonna, hellebore, baby’s breath, skeleton flowers, sweet cherry blossoms, red-tipped roses, snapdragon pods, bleeding glory-bower.
  • Trees: Elder, yew, apple, wild teak.
  • Insects: Butterflies, moths, fireflies, mayflies, cicadas, carrion beetles, maggots.
  • Animals: Magpies, hummingbirds, deer (non-palmated), pigeons, doves, wolves.
  • Concepts: Death, life, rebirth, change, transformation, paradox, empathy, ordeals, independence, edgewalking, originality, sovereignty, becoming.
  • Locations: Graves, undergrounds, keys, gates, doorways, thresholds, stairs, lights in darkness, mirrors, bricks, chainlink, knocking on doors (it’s the sound of your bones), cities (the older the better), abandoned buildings, old wood creaking underfoot, antique stores.
  • Trappings: Smoke, bone, fog, snow, ice, blizzards, blood, antlers, iron, pelts, black candles, frostbite, decay.
  • Devotions: Writing, reading, storytelling (words are how we survive and share down generations). Eating humanely, feeding the homeless, donating to food banks, feeding friends and family (food is sacred, served to all in her hall). Social justice work, sacred witnessing, active listening (all are equal in death). Hospice care, living wills, home funerals, green burials, grave-tending, cleaning roadkill, using all parts of an animal (death is a natural part of life). Ancestral practice, transition magic, death magic, spirit work, plant necromancy, dumb suppers, meditations on mortality and the value of life (honouring that which came before and will be again, becoming more intimate with death). Shadow work, mirror magic based in facing and knowing oneself wholly, healing our damages, analyzing the stories we tell ourselves, honouring both the death but also the living flesh, engaging actively in one’s own Becoming (uniting our ‘halves’ into our personal best self, living before dying). Blacking fingers for ritual as in frostbite; braiding braids with intention of life/becoming/death.
  • Smells: Roses, the smell of decomposition under wet leaves.
  • Season: Winter; also in the rot of autumn and the first burst of spring.
  • Colours: White; also black, burgundy, pale pink, red, ice blue.
  • Times: Night, sunsets, sunrises; liminal transition times.
  • Food: Apples (attested).

All of these have reasons, so feel free to ask and chat associations with me!

So I was about to finish watching Life is Strange for probably the 15th-ish time(I know I should stop) when I noticed in the last scene of the finale…

Most of the colors of this scene aren’t eye-catching or anything, including the characters’ black outfits(because funeral, duh) and the basic background. But those flowers near Victoria and Justin at the funeral? It’s green, red, and yellow, definitely standing out from the other objects(despite its position which made it hard to notice the first time through…)

So I took a good look at it. It kept looking familiar until it occurred to me that

It sort of resembles Chloe Price’s arm tattoo

Is this just a coincidence?

On an obscure level, I do feel like the flowers faintly reference the tattoo.

I mean, Chloe’s dead body in a casket(which by the way is the only other noticeable thing in the frame) is right next to it, which maybe fills the tattoo skull’s role. And the blue morpho butterfly comes in at the end to complete what is shown in the tattoo image.

The flowers, dead Chloe, and the butterfly all in the scene=her tattoo.

I do already know that the tattoo symbolizes+foreshadows many things including death and sacrifice and stuff like that. (Source of this knowledge is one of @geekremix videos, about Chloe, which I saw decades ago and is too lazy to check which one lol)

But those flowers in the final scene really struck me as important, and even if I’m totally off, it was an interesting thing to look at nonetheless.

Devotions for Hel

Things I do in my personal practice (and why):

  • Writing, reading, storytelling (words are how we survive and share down generations). 
  • Eating humanely, feeding the homeless, donating to food banks, feeding friends and family (food is sacred, served to all in her hall). 
  • Social justice work, sacred witnessing, active listening (all are equal in death). 
  • Hospice care, living wills, home funerals, green burials, grave-tending, cleaning roadkill, using all parts of an animal (death is a natural part of life). 
  • Ancestral practice, transition magic, death magic, spirit work, plant necromancy, dumb suppers, meditations on mortality and the value of life (honouring that which came before and will be again, becoming more intimate with death). 
  • Shadow work, mirror magic based in facing and knowing oneself wholly, healing our damages, analyzing the stories we tell ourselves, honouring both the death but also the living flesh, engaging actively in one’s own Becoming (uniting our ‘halves’ into our personal best self, living before dying).
Pre funeral: Isaac & Augustus.
  • Isaac: Augustus Waters era un bastardo auto agrandado. Pero lo perdonamos. Lo perdonamos no porque tenía un corazón tan metafóricamente bueno como su literal absorbida, o porque sabía más sobre cómo sos tener un cigarrillo que cualquier no fumador en la historia, o porque tiene 18 años y debería haber tenido más.
  • Augustus: 17.
  • Isaac: Estoy asumiendo que tienes un poco de tiempo, bastardo interruptor. Te estoy diciendo (...), Augustus Waters hablaba tanto que interrumpe en su propio funeral. Y era pretencioso: dulce Jesucristo, ese chico nunca se enojó sin considerar las abundantes metáforas resonantes de la pérdida de producción de los humanos. Y era vanidoso: no creo alguna vez haber conocido a una persona físicamente atractiva que fuera más consciente de su atractivo físico... pero siempre diré esto: Cuando los científicos del futuro aparezcan en mi casa con ojos de robots y me digan que los pruebe, les diré a ellos que se desenrosquen, porque no quiero ver un mundo sin él. Y luego, habiendo hecho mi punto retórico, me pondré mis ojos robóticos porque con ellos probablemente pueda ver a través de las faldas de las chicas y esas cosas. Augustus, mi amigo, buen viaje.
  • Augustus: Cortaré la parte sobre ver a través de las faldas de las chicas.
  • Isaac: Maldito Augustus, editando su propio elogio.

Do you ever think abour how blue and gansey must look standing next to each other?
The boy who wanted to wear a neon yellow polo to explore a cave and the girl who went to a funeral in green and black lace because she didn’t have clothes dark enough.
I bet the rest of the gang sometimes has to shield their eyes because. The combined power of those two majestic rainbows. Too strong.