I love my sorority so much don't get me wrong, but there seems to be a double standard. We look for well rounded an involved girls, but when I have to miss sorority activities for commitments outside of my sorority (like my sports team) everyone gets really butt hurt and think I'm doing something horrible. On top o that they really don't support me at all (like coming to games or asking about it) I just want advice on how I should handle things.
Earlier today I answered another follower’s question about being on a sports team AND being in a sorority. Please check out my recent post on this subject…… But I wanted to answer you about the feelings of your sisters in particular!
When everyone in a group is “required” to attend meetings, fundraisers, sisterhood events and more, and one sister is excused because of her athletic schedule, resentment can set in. I know it’s important, but in the minds of your fellow sisters, they feel they have important lives outside of chapter obligations too. When someone in a group is offered special treatment, even if it’s acceptable, it’s human nature for the other members to not like it. The girls in drama want excused absences for their plays, the musicians want to miss meetings for their concerts, the med students feel they should be excused because of their demanding schedules. Pretty soon there is no one at the chapter meetings and the sorority fundraiser disintegrates. There must be mandatory requirements for members to meet, or the whole thing falls apart.
If there is conflict and some bad attitudes between you and your sisters, they are not going to show up at your games. Plus, they may be really busy themselves. To get support, you have to be seen as a TEAM player in the sorority, not just on the sports field. Both groups are “teams” and both require commitment, sportsmanship, camaraderie and dedication. As you are finding out, it’s a tall order to be popular, admired and on good terms within two extra demanding organizations. Your sisters put their heart and soul into the chapter and when you do not, they feel it deeply. To them, you missing out is a big deal. And so the cycle continues.
I wanted to share my thoughts on what your sisters may be thinking and feeling. I have been in leadership many times and when members are absent, it just strikes a nerve with those who are left working hard and carrying the load. I know sports and other activites are very important, I just wanted to open your mind to the “other side” of the situation. Hopefully you can talk to your chapter leadership ASAP and work out a better schedule for meeting your requirements in both places. You are going to have to work twice as hard as the other girls to keep balance and maintain friendships. Forgive, forget, and in the future, make your sisterhood feel like they are #1 in your life. As a disciplined athlete, I know you have it in you to prioritize the elements in your life to the best advantage for everyone! xoxo ;)