greatest thing ive ever read

anonymous asked:

So my brother taught my 70 year old grandmother that lol means lesbians on the loose and now every time she sees a pretty girl she’ll text me a picture with the caption “lol?”. We still can’t break her out of the habit.

this is the greatest thing ive ever read

Where Are We Even Going?

“How do people do that?”

“Hm?” Benny looks up from his glass and tries to follow Usnavi’s gaze, but it’s difficult in the crowded and sporadically lit space. “Do what?”

That,” Usnavi says impatiently, raising his voice above the music and gesturing emphatically down the bar towards – oh. A couple. This is gonna be one of those conversations. “She just walked right up to that guy and bought him a drink! Look – look, now they’re gonna dance! How do people do that!?”

Benny sighs. Truthfully, he and Usnavi shouldn’t even be here – they’re both a little too tired, and have a little too much work to do tomorrow. They’re not dancing and they’re not drinking – not really drinking – and he wonders how much longer they’re both going to pretend this is a good way to spend their evening. “You go up to someone,” he explains, leaning closer so he doesn’t have to shout, “and you say ‘hey, you’re cute, wanna dance?’”

Usnavi actually flinches. “And after the drink gets thrown in your face?”

“What about what I just said gets a drink thrown in my face?”

“Not your face, maybe,” Usnavi says, still too loud, and, okay, maybe he’s been drinking slightly more than Benny has. “But that’d never work for me! I mean, I mean it’d probably work on me, but not – I could never pull that off, y'know? One does not simply walk up to strangers in bars.”

Benny grins. “One does if one wants to dance. It’s not that hard, seriously.”

“Oh, sure, it’s easy for you.” Usnavi waves a hand dismissively. “You’re hot.”

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anonymous asked:

do u ever think about how protective of josephs kids robert would be after having fucked up with val so bad? bc i do. at times i also think about like, him crying at chris' graduation in like ten years when him and joseph are old men totally settled down together

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING IVE EVER READ. robert ‘bad dad’ small keeps pictures of those kids in his wallet to show people when he’s at the supermarket. he’s there for every single extracurricular activity they have. he helps them with their homework and teaches them how to deal with bullies. honestly? if one of them were bullied he’d hop the school fence and deal with that shit himself. robert small LOVES his kids and he cries about it every day. god i love these old men.

anonymous asked:

So i had a weird dream. I was in the atla universe and somehow got trapped in the spirit world. And I almost got eaten by like 5 different creatures. And then I ran into Roku and he was like "woah wtf are you doing here??" and i was like "idk fam. I'm tryin to get home." And he just like sighed and was like hold on a minute. And then Korra came to save me, but like it was you?? Idk but you lectured me about letting myself be tricked by spirits and I felt like I let you down. I'm so sorry mom! 😭

this is the single most greatest thing ive ever fucking read lmfao

anonymous asked:

Your prince!Tom’s friend but you’re not royal at all. You become Tom’s safe haven away from all the politics and such that comes with his title. You guys start dating but you’re scared of not being royal so you decide to see each other in secret but jokes on both of you because Tom’s brothers and parents have had bets on when you both would get together since the beginning and a tiara already made for you.


beezums  asked:

Geoff is 100% teaching Jeremy how to metalbend. Like Jeremy showed up one day and politely sat down in front of Geoff and was like "ive heard tales that you bent the golden door of a rich lord's home because he wouldnt let you in from the rain. Im willing to train hard and take whatever you throw at me. Please master teach me how to metal bend." And geoff was like "aight first lesson is to step back a second bc ray's gonna bend that shot of whiskey at me and im gonna try to catch it in my mouth"