greatest picture in existence

haole-cop  asked:

Romantic weakness: getting crowded back into his own furniture, counters, and walls.

“Hello, this is the voicemail for Steve’s….mouth…mind….everything." 

Steve will get back to you whenever this mouth isn’t busy anymore.“ 

"We don’t suggest waiting. In situations like this, the only thing he opens his mouth to say, will probably be biting, scathing commentary, to keep Danny shoving him back harder and harder into the wall, counter, furniture piece of choice." 

gravity falls characters as dril tweets round one
  • dipper: just read something fucked up... Not a single picture of stonehenge exists.
  • dip again: my greatest sin is that I've utterly betrayed my "NO FEAR" tower decal by being embarrassingly frightened of birds and butter flies
  • mabel: 1989: the fall of the berlin wall is celebrated, historically revered 2016: i tear down the sneeze guard at old country buffet and get Booed
  • stan: “oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for my sick uncle… *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYE* who’s a Model by the way,
  • stan again: if you're wondering if im some other guy, the answer is yes, im him, unless it's bad to be him, then im not him, im a different person.
  • ford: Welcome to the citadel of eternal wisdom. Beyond, this crystal contains the sum of all human knowledge — Except Rap And Country
  • ford again: some times.. the smartest people you know, are Geniuses
  • fiddleford: at first i thought Science was a shit waste of time. then somebody did a meme of it,. and now... hooboy.. now i like it
  • soos: its fucked up how there are like 1000 christmas songs but only 1 song aboutr the boys being back in town
  • soos again: (steps out onto the podium for the annual delivery of his Most Hated "State of the Arbys" address) the state of the Arby's... is strong…
  • wendy: i just want to find the optimal bra for sniper operations, but everyeone here is so rude, and pieces of shit
  • robbie: see this watch? i got it by Crying. my car? Crying. my beautiful wife? Crying. now get the fuck out of my office.
  • gideon: i put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like "oh tortures bad","its ineffective" fuck off
  • pacifica: blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • paz again: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree
  • quentin trembley: i spend a lot of time reading the constatution of the united states of america while grinning ear to ear
  • bill: LISTEN UP NERD, THE WEIGHTS WITH HIEROGLYPHICS ON THEM ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO LIFE UNLESS YOU POSSESS THE CORRESPONDING RUNESTONE, THIS IS HELL GYM
  • bill again: ((SPILLING BLOOD ALL OVER KEYBOARD) THIS IS WHAT U WANT. THIS IS WHAT U FUCKING BASTARDS WANT RIGHT (1 WEEK LATER) WHY ARE THE KEYS STICKING