greatest fail

“Hey mom ! ...I mean Mrs. Stark...” - Tony Stark x Reader x awkward!Peter Parker

Summary : Peter calls Tony and his wife (the reader) “dad” and “mom” by accident and…oh it’s awkward. 

Just a silly little story. Wrote in ten minutes on the verge of exhaustion, because I have almost no free time lately and…yeah. Uh. Hope you’ll still like it.

My masterlist blog :


It was the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to him. By far. 

It outdid that time when, as Spider-Man, he hit a signboard while swinging from web to web, and fell face first down in a busy NYC street…There were videos on YouTube, and pictures on the internet of “The Friendly neighborhood Spider greatest fail”…but at least, no one saw his face. No one actually knew him. 

But now ? Oh God. He was good old and regular Peter Parker and everyone knew it. And this all thing was embarrassing beyond all measure ! 

He had just called Mrs. Stark “mom” on live TV ! 

He obviously didn’t mean to but…it was the stress really. 

People were starting to get curious about Anthony Stark’s mysterious intern, and he just had to give an interview about it so as not to blow his cover. After all, it was the first time Tony’s company was taking interns ! And everyone was curious about that guy that teenage boy who got the first one ever. 

With how obsessed with the Starks the World was, the interview was a huge deal…Millions of people watched the great Iron man’s new protégé, the boy so many were jealous of for landing the best internship ever at Stark Industries.

The journalists asked him hundred of questions, and everything was going smoothly. Besides, Peter felt like with Mr. Stark by his side, he was invincible, his hero and role model giving him strength…Up until he talked about you and used the word “mom” to do so…And you were right next to him…Oh, awkward.

It happened barely a second ago but he already rewinded the scene in his head a thousand times…The journalist asked :

-How is it to be so often in the presence of Tony Stark, a genius and also one of the biggest and most famous superhero on Earth ? 

And stupid, embarrassing, idiotic, nervous Peter answered :

-It’s ok really, Mr. Stark is amazing, and his wife, Mrs (Y/N) Stark is really great, right mom ? 

And he turned to you. Right after he called you “mom” in front of millions of people…and just froze. Why didn’t he stop at “Mrs. (Y/N) Stark is really great”, why the Hell did he turn to you and said “right mom ?”…he would never know. 

There was a sudden silence in the room, all the journalists and even the damn security guards staring at Peter. He cleared his throat and laughed nervously, but he wasn’t able to say anything. 

He glanced quickly at Tony and your husband was just like everyone else right now, staring at him, probably thinking : “wait…what did he say ?”.

This was Peter’s worst nightmare. Public humiliation. Saying something so damn stupid. In front of so many people…

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the greatest failing of any star trek episode that involves travelling back to earth’s past is that none of them involve the characters doing that thing where you try to open a car door the instant your friend tries to unlock it, and then you do it like three more times before finally managing to open the door


anonymous asked:

Hi, Amy. I got a 66 on the test I had today. Can you say something to make me feel better?

  • Tim Drake once attempted to moonwalk out of an awkward conversation, misjudged the distance to the door, banged into a wall instead, fell over, bounced off a couch, and cracked his phone screen. In front of Damian.
  • Dick has caught Jason napping inside the manor a grand total of seven times in the past year. The have an unspoken agreement not to talk about it. The last time it happened, Jason was sleeping on the top shelf of the linen closet. Dick doesn’t really understand the choice, but you know what? He respects it. He really does.
  • It’s traditional for every Robin to give Barbara an item of bird-themed jewelry (necklace, ring, earrings, necklace, bracelet respectively). She wears all of them on rotation.
  • There’s a secret compartment in the Wayne Manor pantry– since every single child has discovered it on their own, they all assume that the others don’t know about it. They are mistaken. Actually, Tim did recently catch Damian stashing extra cinnamon rolls in the compartment, but he can’t say anything about it. He was only there in the first place because he was trying to hide a tub of guacamole. 
  • Steph and Cass once spent an entire night following Bruce around on patrol, narrating documentary style. Seeing as they were careful not to say anything that would compromise identities, they could put it online if they wanted to. Stephanie has decided that she will, the next time Bruce pisses her off. 
  • Batfamily members frequently test run new disguises by trying to slip them past other family members. One memorable night, Dick and Tim both came to a party in disguise, had a full conversation, and didn’t recognize each other. Side note: both of them told Damian their plan separately, before the party, and it remains to this day the funniest thing he’s ever seen in his life. (Father Father Father come here you have to see this.)
  • The reason Damian never high-fives Jason back is because Jason’s hand is always a little too high up for Damian to reach. And he’s pretty sure jumping for it would be undignified.

Listen, context is important. A character who acts negatively and is praised/rewarded for it by the narrative (a la sasuke uchiha) and a character who acts negatively and is punished for it by the narrative in order to foster their growth and change are two very. different. things.

Katsuki makes bad choices. He treats people poorly. He allows his insecurity and fear to drive his actions towards others and has trouble expressing his emotions and keeping his anger under control. These are all things that the story frames as explicitly negative. These are all things he gets punished for.

Does Katsuki get what he wants, acting this way?? Is he satisfied?? Is he achieving his goals?? Is he happy?? NO

Hes stagnented in progress, he gets a useless hollow victory at the sports festival, his internship was a waste, his attitude makes him a target for villains and he gets kidnapped, which directly leads to the downfall of his greatest idol, he fails his hero liscence exam… its literally failure after failure

The narrative is teaching Katsuki that acting the way he does and treating people the way he does is a bad thing that ultimately hinders his own goals and happiness. He is standing in his own way and the only way forward is by making real and honest changes to who he is as a person. Something he has already begun to do.

Slow growth is still growth. Its realistic and honest in the time it is taking.

I will never understand how people misconstrue Katsukis character and his arc and purpose in the narrtive so badly that they see him as either an irredeemable abuser or a tsundere stereotype when he is absolutely neither. Hes a good kid with a lot of growing to do. Why is that so hard for people to see?

Edd makes puns to try and cover up Matt’s… Mattitude.

I think the greatest failings of the modern news media are the constant presentation of information (even facts) as intrinsically adversarial and the implicit assertion that the respective competing sides are equally valid. It’s easy to have a significant portion of the population willing to question the credibility of objective facts when you’re willing to give equal weight and validity to ridiculous and/or heinous perspectives.
The greatest failing of CNN isn’t that they underrepresented Trump voters, but that they treated his views, specifically his explicit lies pertaining to the number of illegal voters, climate change, etc., with an unmerited evenhandedness that allowed those views to masquerade as matters of opinion/partisanship rather than as questionable fact.
I think the constant desire to erase bias and appear “objective” has done nothing but erode the value of facts.

anonymous asked:

Could you right something about Harry and Ginny going through the experience of her first pregnancy?

A/N: I combined this with one of the blurb starters and I think it’s kinda cute :)  I hope you enjoy!

Also available on FF and Ao3!


The second hand on Harry’s alarm clock stuck on every third tick, which is why it’s always slower than the rest of the time telling devices in the flat.  Which is why Ginny’s husband is almost always rushing about in the morning even when he gets up with the first ring of his clock.

She really should tell him, now that she knows.  But it’s his fault that she knows.  Because his child is currently somersaulting about her belly and keeping her awake for the third night in a row.  So she might not tell him – at least not until she gets more than forty-five minutes of sleep in one go.  Because marriage means if she suffers, he suffers.

Ginny feels bad for a minute, but then baby James decides to stretch his legs and then settle directly on her bladder, so she grumbles to herself and shuffles off to the bathroom. “Baby, please.  Let mummy sleep.”

The unborn Potter simply continues his acrobatics and Ginny sighs as she goes about her business in the loo, stroking her stomach in the vain hope that it will somehow turn her son into a peaceful and considerate child.  “If you go to sleep I promise I’ll give you candy for dinner every night.”

“That sounds like bad a plan dear,” Harry’s gruff voice calls from the threshold.

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Joker Imagine - Project 6277 PART 9

A/N: Sorry for the long long loooong wait

Part 8 here *click me*

Originally posted by thebreakofdawn

Originally posted by teenager-very-lost

Joker’s P.O.V.

Just kill her’ ‘she’s only a normal girl!’ ‘it’ll be over quickly’ The voices told me. I clenched my jaw angrily and tried to push them away. My head was a mine field, no one wanted to enter it. It’s like I was in a tiny room with ten televisions on with full volume, all playing a different loud movie. Ever since Y/N got here, the voices got ruder. I knew why, but I was forced to ignore them.

We ate the pizza and then Y/N fell asleep. I didn’t even bother to wake her up, because she seemed exhausted. The poor girl was terrified, but then she kissed me. A smile appeared on my face and I chuckled by myself. At first I thought she could just be a fun little project, more like bait to catch Batman, but then something changed my mind. I wasn’t the type of person who was loved, or even cared about. I didn’t love, I didn’t care about anyone.

Until now. There was something in Y/N that made me not want to kill her. She was different, special in her own way. I felt like she could go crazy if I tried hard. That’s what I’d need from her. The acid and shock therapy would be extra, just to make the bait worse. But then I started thinking..was it necessary? Could I make her more like me without making her go through all that shit?

I groaned and then looked down at Y/N. She was slumbering peacefully on her bed, her arm around my torso and in her sleep she had nuzzled closer to me. I sat on the bed, leaning against the bedpost and I got lost in my thoughts. There was an empty pizza box on the floor along with clothes. It was late at night and I knew I could be with my goons, planning a heist, but for tonight they could survive with Frost stepping up for me.

I had other plans.

I slowly moved away from Y/N and stood up. She didn’t wake up. Instead she grabbed a pillow and hugged it like she had hugged me. I put the blanket on her and tried to make it okay. To be honest I wasn’t sure what to do, so I left the room before I did something wrong. Although I treated this girl differently didn’t make me a super man. I had no idea how to treat people with care. I guess I’d have to learn that. She could be my weakness since I felt like I couldn’t hurt her, but I’d find a way to make it a strength.

I walked through the penthouse until I got into my office. The curtains were pulled aside and I saw the large windows there. I saw such a huge part of Gotham city, but no end of the city. It was so big. Oh Gotham. ‘’Batsy you son of a bitch where could you be?’’ I muttered by myself and looked outside. Buildings were everywhere and lights were on even tho it was probably 3 or 4 a.m.. This city never slept. It was full of crime and action, but it still drew people here. I guess Gotham had it’s own spell.

But somewhere in this city was my worst enemy, but also my good pal Batman. I wonder if Y/N had any clue that the reason I needed her in the first place was Batman. I wanted to make her go nuts, totally crazy and cold-blooded. I wanted to show Batman what I could do to people. I wanted to play with Batman, making Y/N the perfect bait. But now I didn’t want that. My original plan included me killing her, but I knew now that I couldn’t do that. Although I had killed a countless amount of people, I was sure I couldn’t just pull the trigger towards her.

Damn girl. She was such a pain in the ass, but at the same time I had a feeling she’d be one of my greatest fails. Yes I admit I had failed, because I had to change my plan so much. But not all fails were bad. What if I was wrong about this feeling? I sighed and ignored the voices again. They wanted her dead.

‘’Shut up’’ I growled darkly and tilted my head a little bit. 

’You shut up’ ‘You’re weak J, you can’t feel pity’ ‘your heart is dead, it won’t beat for a girl’ They screamed at me again. I tried to calm down, but knowing me and my anger problems that didn’t work. I turned around to my desk and grabbed all the papers, pens, the computer, everything and threw the stuff on the floor. Everything flew around, scattering all around the desk. I heard glass breaking, papers hitting the floor and so much more. Then it grew silent.

‘’Fuck’’ I hissed and pushed my desk so it flew on it’s side. I kicked the things in anger until I sat down in the middle of the mess with my hands in my hair. I shut my eyes and tried my best to stay  in one place. Not too long later I was doing a rocking movement and I was mumbling shit by myself. I wanted the damn voices to shut up for one minute. Just one minute-

There was a small knock on my office door. I froze on the spot and growled angrily. I couldn’t control myself. Then the door opened. I grabbed a gun nearby and loaded it, pointing at whoever dared to come in. As the lights stopped blinding me, I saw a woman there. It was Y/N. She didn’t move, probably because she saw the gun. My head was telling me to shoot her, get rid of her and just take another girl to mess with. But another part of me told me not to shoot her.

Y/N’s face was full of worry and shock. I probably looked both angry and amused at the same time. ‘’You’re really one of a kind’’ I giggled and slowly lowered my gun. Y/N had no idea what was going on. ‘’Are you okay?’’ She dared to ask me. Damn this girl had guts. Even Frost would be careful if he saw me like this. ‘’You’re driving me crazy!’’ I cheered and threw my hands in the air. The truth was that I was crazy before her, but she was doing something different.

When did I go wrong with my plan?

‘’J what happened?’’ She questioned me with a soft voice. She seemed less scared now. Y/N walked closer to me, careful not to step on broken glass or anything sharp. I watched her step until she was in front of me. Y/N wasn’t wearing much. I moved my eyes from her feet to her face. She kneeled down next to me and looked deep into my eyes. Why wasn’t she afraid of me? I was a little angry because I didn’t feel like I was controlling her, but another part of me didn’t mind.

‘’You know since I’m probably going to stay here for a while..’’ Y/N started and then sat down. She scooted right next to me and I felt her hand on my shoulder. I clenched my jaw, but then seemed to relax a little bit. Yet I squeezed the handle of my beloved gun. ‘’ can talk to me’’ She whispered soothingly. It’s like the tables had turned.  Funny how pizza made her so comfortable and less scared.

‘’I’ve talked to loads of people but all they did was bad’’ I started, having no clue whatsoever why I just told her that. Y/N sure was different, that was for sure. Then I thought about the so called doctors who tried to help me but fucked up and made me ‘worse’. Not my fault. 

‘’Usually professionals go by rules. We’re not like them, we can talk differently’’ Y/N explained, almost as if she had read my mind. I turned to face her. Her face was illuminated by the city lights that came through the window, making her really pretty. Her beauty could distract Batsy for sure. ‘’I was going to kill you, but I know that I can’t’’ I admitted, probably scaring her again, but she wanted the truth.

Y/N nodded and started rubbing my back. It was a little strange at first, but I liked it. The feeling reminded me of something. It was so warm, soothing. As I closed my eyes, I saw a flash and then I was in my memories, the last ones I still had. Of course they were the worst. A blurry face came closer to be with a bottle. I didn’t remember much, but I could never forget the shock I felt once years ago in my life. The blurred man had yelled something and then things turned black.

I opened my eyes and my smile faded. That poor memory always made me feel like I had to pour my anger out. I usually did so by hurting others..

Part 10 *click me*

Thorki ficlet

And now for the second of my codeine-fuelled Thorki “hug” scene. This was running around in my head and would NOT get out, even though I was mostly asleep and drugged up, I had to get them out, because this really is what I imagined Thor was up to during his exchanges with Loki. Tonally, it’s more in keeping with the film, but it’s how I reconcile the differences to Thor’s character, at least in how he’s acting with Loki.

I’m thinking I’ll probably follow this up with porn in a day or two, if enough people are interested in seeing that, then I’ll post the whole thing to AO3…

Loki’s smile is so genuine that Thor is stunned into inactivity. It has been so long since he has seen Loki smile only in happiness, without it tinged in some other emotion. How often he misunderstood the quirk of Loki’s lips for impishness when it was misery, fondness when it was longing. Here again, at last, is the playmate of his youth, and Thor intends to follow through on his promise. And then some.

He must have hesitated too long, however, because Loki shifts his eyes to the side, tosses the lid back at him and says, “It’s alright, Brother, I was just calling your bluff.” Giving Thor an out. “You couldn’t really have honestly expected me to be here.”

Thor sets aside his drink, smile growing wider as he crosses the space between them slowly. “Oh, but I could, Brother,” he says. To his credit, Loki doesn’t back away, even as Thor comes to stand toe to toe with him, enjoying the flash of confusion and hesitation that ripples over Loki’s features before they smooth out again, covered with an arched brow and pursed lips.

“You see, at first I thought I could reach you with my sincerity,” Thor murmurs, and reaches out to touch. He’s always been so tactile with Loki, even after his betrayal, that it’s taken a great deal of restraint to keep from doing so these past few days. And now, his patience has been rewarded.

“I thought if I assured you of my love, regardless of what befell us, that you would see the truth of your paternity mattered not to me.” He wraps his fingers around the back of Loki’s neck, tangled in his hair, a familiar gesture that’s not lost on Loki. His eyes dart side to side to avoid Thor’s.

“Even after your descent into madness, I was certain that the only way I could reach you.” Thor gave him a little shake and stepped in closer, gratified with how Loki gave for him, parting his feet for Thor to slot between them. “If I could just hold you down, make you see reason, make you listen.”

Loki scoffs and shakes free. “Well, we know how well that worked.”

“Precisely.” Thor feels a spark of wickedness, akin to that from their younger days, pulling pranks together on their parents, on the cooks, on their friends. “I should have known better in the first place, when you always mocked me for my earnestness.”

“It is your greatest failing, Brother.” Oh, Loki deflects beautifully, one arm wrapped protectively across his stomach, the elbow perched on the back of his hand, twirling an errant lock of hair.

“So I thought to myself,” Thor says, undeterred, “What would Loki do?”

Loki chances a brief moment’s eye contact. “Oh?”

“I decided to beat you at your own game.”

“Ha!” Loki exclaims haughtily.

“What could I say to make sure you’d do exactly what I wanted you to? If I tell you that I know there’s still good in you, you are compelled to prove me wrong. If I beg of you to do the honourable thing, you respond by destroying half of Midgard.”

Loki looks thoroughly unrepentant, grinning as if reliving a fond memory and maybe that makes it all the sweeter for Thor to twist the knife. “But if I were, for example, to treat you with disappointment and indifference. To suggest we were no longer bound together by love or familial connection, that we had no obligation towards one another, that we were better off apart…” Loki looks less certain with each passing word. “What might you do then?”

“What lengths might you go to, just to prove me wrong?”

The leather of Loki’s armour squeaks as his fingers curl into his sides. “I–I don’t–”

Thor tsks and carries on despite Loki’s protests. “And suppose I were to accuse you of being predictable,” Thor gasps the word in faux shock. “Why then, what could you possibly do, but defy my expectations?”

Loki fidgets, dropping his arms to his side then crossing them again. For all his squirming, however, Loki is still there which is telling enough.

“Face it, Loki,” Thor says. “I’ve tricked the Trickster God.”

Bottom lip jutted out, Loki scoffs and says not under his breath. He averts his gaze and juts his elbows out at sharp angles as Thor steps closer. As good as a verbal warning to stay away. In a thousand years, Thor has never quite learned his lesson about getting too close around Loki and sharp things. He brings his hands to rest on Loki’s hips.

“I have,” Thor insists. “And now I have you exactly where I want you.”

“And what, dear Brother,” Loki asks, voice pitched low, and looks up at him from beneath his lashes, “do you intend to do with me?”

Shiki: An Existentialist Reading

     Shiki is an interesting beast of an anime. Like its monstrous characters, it simultaneously confounds and challenges its viewers: to think more deeply about their position in the world, to reevaluate their concept of right and wrong, and to put up with some of the oddest character design choices in an otherwise gorgeously animated show.

     Perhaps the most important thing it does, and what the best horror stories do, is make viewers consider the choices they would make in these situations, and do make in their lives.

      Shiki tells the story of a small, rural Japanese town, and how its inhabitants respond when a new group of outsiders moves into a “Western style” castle on the outskirts of the village. This hardly counts as a spoiler, since their existence is so heavily foreshadowed and implied that it would have been harder to create a plot twist exonerating them than allow them to be the stereotypical culprits, but the outsiders are vampire-esque beings that call themselves shiki, or “corpse demons.”

(Beyond this point lie not insignificant spoilers. Be warned)

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