great-british-seaside

Manifesto Summary #1 - UKIP

Let the insanity begin!

The manifesto: here

Meaningless slogan: “Believe in Britain” (as opposed to denying it’s existence???)

Economy: UKIP is basically promising all kinds of tax cuts, because why fund public services when the middle classes could just keep all their money to themselves? They want to leave the EU, cut international aid and cut down on what we give to Scotland. Yes. They think Scotland gets too much of our money. 

Immigration: Guess what? They want to reduce it. Their little tagline here is “space not race.” Basically despite being one of the richest countries in the world, we don’t have space for more EU migrants to come in and pay us more tax so that we can fund more public services. Somehow.

NHS: They claim they will put more money in the NHS and find 8000 more GPs and 20,000 more nurses. Even though they want to cut tax. They also want to bring social care under the NHS. Which means that £3 billion a year they just promised the NHS isn’t gonna go very far (to put these figures in perspective, the NHS costs £95.6 billion a year, so £3 billion is nothing).

Welfare: They want a lower benefit cap, to end fraud and to limit child benefit to the first two children, because obviously if you’re the third child in your family, you don’t deserve food or clothes.

Education: UKIP say there should be no sex education for primary school children. So expect child sexual abuse rates to soar if UKIP get in. Also they support grammar schools, which basically means children will be given an unfair advantage or disadvantage in life based on an exam they take at the age 11. 

Other shit: scrapping High Speed rail, saving the “Great British seaside” (you know, that thing we used to have in Victorian times), allowing smoking rooms in pubs (I’m a smoker and even I think smoking indoors is fucking horrible), repealing the Human Rights Act, scrapping translation on official documents, ending funding for public bodies which promote multiculturalism, “English Votes for English Laws” and a guaranteed referendum every two years on something people are mad about because the Sun has whipped them up into a fucking frenzy. UKIP would also allow employers to discriminate against non-British employees and would scrap postal voting. 

Revealing quote: “The liberal metropolitan elite often tells us patriotism is wrong… Hints are dropped that wanting to celebrate "Britishness” is an act that touches on extremism.“ Umm, we spent the fucking ENTIRETY of 2012 celebrating our Britishness and nobody got sent to the gulag over it. 

What the fuck? moment: There are many, but the thing that bemuses me most is that they claim to agree with everything the government did on pensions. Which is a weird position to adopt if you’re courting older voters.