In Your Eyes, I Thought I Could See the Edge of the Universe
A Park Jimin soulmate!AU story
Summary: They aren’t soulmates.
They say it’s a blessing. They say everyone longs for that day, the day they’ll feel that subtle shift… They’ll know then that they’ve at last met the gaze of their one true love - their soulmate.
There are still tales of a time where people lived in confusion, seeking love amidst the chaos of unpredictability. It’s an idea so very odd that most are unable to even imagine it. In our world, all it takes is a glance, and you know.
Like everyone else (or so it seemed), I believed in that. When I met Park Jimin, long before he made his name known to millions, I didn’t even blink. He was cute and nice, sure, but he wasn’t my soulmate. We slowly became friends.
Even as a kid, Jimin was the most hardworking of them all. He put his entire soul into everything, and I admired him for that. He wanted to live through his passion, and, over the years I spent by his side, I found that his dream had somehow become mine… It was simple: if he was to succeed, he’d be happy, and that was all I wished for.
Succeed he did, though the path to get there proved to be tortuous.
I remember one night, somewhere during a particularly harsh winter, he broke down in my arms. Holding him as he sobbed in the crook of my neck, I realized that if I could, I’d give him the entire world.
When I look back, I suppose that’s the moment everything changed.
It was a long process, so gradual I didn’t see what was coming until I fell. At first, there was a slight nervousness when we met face to face. Then, I started to apprehend his touch. Eventually, the very sight of him would make my cheeks heat up. The thoughts kept coming - about his smile, his lips, his body - and I became unable to chase them away. I didn’t understand what madness had taken over me, and, without meaning to, I began to distance myself from him.
In spite of my uneasiness, I couldn’t stop (nor even hinder) my fall into the rabbit hole.
It didn’t take Jimin long to realize something was wrong. He kept asking what was going on, and I couldn’t find the words nor the courage to confess that I had foolishly managed to fall in love with him.
I felt stupid and pathetic.
Of course, there were non-soulmate couples out there, but at the time, they appeared like foreign entities, even though at that point already, I would have braved anything if it meant being with him…
But I wasn’t to be his, and he wasn’t to be mine.
Those were facts.
The very thought of him began to make my chest tighten, and something as simple as texting became like a chastisement. I was Sisyphus, and he was my boulder. My best efforts led nowhere, and I always ended up longing for something I knew to be out of reach.
On a Tuesday night, I was tipsy on a few drinks and drunk on my unrequited love, and I blocked him on every possible social media. In the morning, I decided it was for the best. It was selfish, I know it was, but it felt like the only way I could dim my pain… The endeavour led nowhere: I was hurting as much as before, if not more.
That’s why when he showed up at my door unannounced, face clouded in frenzied worry, tears instantly filled my eyes. He hadn’t gotten a word out that I had thrown my arms around him.
“What happened?” Jimin cried. “I haven’t been able to reach you at all! I- I thought…” He paused, panting. “I thought something had happened to you! For god sake, you idiot…”
A great tremor overtook me, and he finally realized I was crying. He tentatively pulling me closer, and the warmth of his breath made a shiver go down my spine.
“What happened?” he asked again this time softly, though his voice was still trembling.
I tried to say something, but I was sobbing too hard to gather my wits.
He let out a resigned sigh. “I missed you,” he said, and I clung into him. “It’s okay,” he whispered in my hair. “I’m here, now, it’s going to be okay…”
In his embrace, I was as vulnerable as a newborn. I allowed myself to be soothed by his voice, by his touch, by his presence…
“I love you,” I thought over and over.
I’m not sure how much time passed, but eventually the crying dwindled. He made me sit at the dinning table, studying me with tight eyes. My teeth sank deep into my bottom lip, for I could tell he was waiting for me to talk. I was still hiccupping every now and then, and I had never felt smaller in my entire life. After five or six minutes, I still didn’t know what to say, and he was fidgeting with the helm of his shirt.
“Are you okay?” Jimin questioned weakly, trying to meet my gaze.
I felt yet another tear breaking out, and I quickly wiped it away. He cared about me – he cared so much – and here I was, hurting him because of my idiotic heart.
“I…” I managed to utter. “I’m just…”
“Tell me,” he implored. “We can work it out together… Like we always have.”
I shook my head.
“Y-you don’t understand,” I argued.
A shadow passed over his face. “Look, I haven’t been able to contact you for almost a week. I tried talking to your friends, but I couldn’t reach anyone either…” He paused, and I could sense his desperation. “I- I’ve been sick worried… Please, just tell me what’s going on.”
“Jimin…” I breathed. “It-it’s stupid, it’s the m-most stupid thing that has ever happened to me.”
He stared at me, and in the face of my silence, he decided to move closer. He kneeled before me, forcing my eyes to meet his.
“It’s not stupid if it’s making you cry.”
I closed my eyes, and I felt his hand wiping a new tear away.
“It’s okay,” Jimin murmured. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”
For some reason – probably because it was late and I was exhausted from all the crying – I believed him. He’d understand, right? He’d help me through…
“I…” I breathed. “I’m… I’m in love with you.”
There was a silence, and I told myself that I had fucked up, that I had lost him forever… I felt a tickling behind my nose, and my lips began to quiver.
“I- I’m sorry,” I managed to say. “I’m-”
He kissed me.
A/N: There’s a second part. It’s coming soon, and it’s angstier.