great now i made myself cry

In Your Eyes, I Thought I Could See the Edge of the Universe

A Park Jimin soulmate!AU story 

Summary: They aren’t soulmates.

Originally posted by jjminie


They say it’s a blessing. They say everyone longs for that day, the day they’ll feel that subtle shift… They’ll know then that they’ve at last met the gaze of their one true love - their soulmate.


There are still tales of a time where people lived in confusion, seeking love amidst the chaos of unpredictability. It’s an idea so very odd that most are unable to even imagine it. In our world, all it takes is a glance, and you know. 

Like everyone else (or so it seemed), I believed in that. When I met Park Jimin, long before he made his name known to millions, I didn’t even blink. He was cute and nice, sure, but he wasn’t my soulmate. We slowly became friends.

Even as a kid, Jimin was the most hardworking of them all. He put his entire soul into everything, and I admired him for that. He wanted to live through his passion, and, over the years I spent by his side, I found that his dream had somehow become mine… It was simple: if he was to succeed, he’d be happy, and that was all I wished for.

Succeed he did, though the path to get there proved to be tortuous.

I remember one night, somewhere during a particularly harsh winter, he broke down in my arms. Holding him as he sobbed in the crook of my neck, I realized that if I could, I’d give him the entire world.

When I look back, I suppose that’s the moment everything changed.

It was a long process, so gradual I didn’t see what was coming until I fell. At first, there was a slight nervousness when we met face to face. Then, I started to apprehend his touch. Eventually, the very sight of him would make my cheeks heat up. The thoughts kept coming - about his smile, his lips, his body - and I became unable to chase them away. I didn’t understand what madness had taken over me, and, without meaning to, I began to distance myself from him.

In spite of my uneasiness, I couldn’t stop (nor even hinder) my fall into the rabbit hole.

It didn’t take Jimin long to realize something was wrong. He kept asking what was going on, and I couldn’t find the words nor the courage to confess that I had foolishly managed to fall in love with him.

I felt stupid and pathetic.

Of course, there were non-soulmate couples out there, but at the time, they appeared like foreign entities, even though at that point already, I would have braved anything if it meant being with him…

But I wasn’t to be his, and he wasn’t to be mine.

Those were facts.

The very thought of him began to make my chest tighten, and something as simple as texting became like a chastisement. I was Sisyphus, and he was my boulder. My best efforts led nowhere, and I always ended up longing for something I knew to be out of reach.

On a Tuesday night, I was tipsy on a few drinks and drunk on my unrequited love, and I blocked him on every possible social media. In the morning, I decided it was for the best. It was selfish, I know it was, but it felt like the only way I could dim my pain… The endeavour led nowhere: I was hurting as much as before, if not more.

That’s why when he showed up at my door unannounced, face clouded in frenzied worry, tears instantly filled my eyes. He hadn’t gotten a word out that I had thrown my arms around him.

“What happened?” Jimin cried. “I haven’t been able to reach you at all! I- I thought…” He paused, panting. “I thought something had happened to you! For god sake, you idiot…”

A great tremor overtook me, and he finally realized I was crying. He tentatively pulling me closer, and the warmth of his breath made a shiver go down my spine.

“What happened?” he asked again this time softly, though his voice was still trembling.

I tried to say something, but I was sobbing too hard to gather my wits.

He let out a resigned sigh. “I missed you,” he said, and I clung into him. “It’s okay,” he whispered in my hair. “I’m here, now, it’s going to be okay…”

In his embrace, I was as vulnerable as a newborn. I allowed myself to be soothed by his voice, by his touch, by his presence…

I love you,” I thought over and over.

I’m not sure how much time passed, but eventually the crying dwindled. He made me sit at the dinning table, studying me with tight eyes. My teeth sank deep into my bottom lip, for I could tell he was waiting for me to talk. I was still hiccupping every now and then, and I had never felt smaller in my entire life. After five or six minutes, I still didn’t know what to say, and he was fidgeting with the helm of his shirt.

“Are you okay?” Jimin questioned weakly, trying to meet my gaze.

I felt yet another tear breaking out, and I quickly wiped it away. He cared about me – he cared so much – and here I was, hurting him because of my idiotic heart.

“I…” I managed to utter. “I’m just…”

“Tell me,” he implored. “We can work it out together… Like we always have.”

I shook my head.

“Y-you don’t understand,” I argued.

A shadow passed over his face. “Look, I haven’t been able to contact you for almost a week. I tried talking to your friends, but I couldn’t reach anyone either…” He paused, and I could sense his desperation. “I- I’ve been sick worried… Please, just tell me what’s going on.”

“Jimin…” I breathed. “It-it’s stupid, it’s the m-most stupid thing that has ever happened to me.”

He stared at me, and in the face of my silence, he decided to move closer. He kneeled before me, forcing my eyes to meet his.

“It’s not stupid if it’s making you cry.”

I closed my eyes, and I felt his hand wiping a new tear away.

“It’s okay,” Jimin murmured. “You can tell me anything. You know that.”

For some reason – probably because it was late and I was exhausted from all the crying – I believed him. He’d understand, right? He’d help me through…

“I…” I breathed. “I’m… I’m in love with you.”

There was a silence, and I told myself that I had fucked up, that I had lost him forever… I felt a tickling behind my nose, and my lips began to quiver.

“I- I’m sorry,” I managed to say. “I’m-”

He kissed me.


A/N: There’s a second part. It’s coming soon, and it’s angstier.

Edit: Here!

Lets talk a little bit about her.

She’s insecure and overeacting all the time, because she was a housewife her entire life and knew little about the world. But when everything falls apart, she pulled herself together immediately because she still has this sorry ass of mine to take care of. She took over my father’s company, worked through its crisis, became a manager at the age of 46 without any knowledge about construction and architecture. It means she had to learn everything from the scatch, with plenty of help from others but still, her will to raise me decently was the only motivation she has.

She’s also very beautiful and charming, which I inherited none (lol) Sometimes I think if I resemble her more perhaps I will be more attractive? She totally agree because she thinks Im so stubborn but she said Im the most beautiful creature she has ever known. She never once thought of me anything close to ugliness, ever. I’m her pride and joy.

She doesn’t believe in drawing can earn a living and pressure me to get a decent job all the time, which I did. But thats also the reason why I’m not so close to her, I dont really share much with her though I know she is there 100% for me. In her time it was so different as she was raised in war, when everyone has to struggle to survive with everything and living a dream is something unrealistic. It’s not her fault to think that way, and I understand that well.

She likes to spoil her children rotten and wants me to rely on her more. Honestly, with my tendency to be fiercely independent and lonewolf, I hate cring to others and vice versa. I am a totally ass if I feel that my freedom was restricted in any way. We fought a lot when I was younger, she wants me to stay close to her, I want to leave. I made her cry a lot. I think if its not because of her great love, anyone would have left me already. Theres no point in reasoning with people like me, but she tried her best. Now I had already left, she just learnt to accept the fact that Im all grown up and take care of my own life. She would sigh sometimes “Why do you have to be so stubborn you can have a easier life you know? I’m so worry”

She’s a super being that I can’t never compare myself to, and will always respect with all my heart.

She’s increadible, kind, strong, loving mom of mine.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any head canons for when zimbits meets each other's parents? Or when the parents meet each other?

<3

Yeeesssssss. All of the above.

**When Bitty meets Jack’s parents:

Ok Jack’s parents are giant nerds, but like they both are public figures and know how to act. They’ve been holding back up until this moment, when they finally get to meet Bitty.

It’d probably be Bitty coming over to Jack’s house, so they wouldn’t have to worry about hiding. It’d probably also be a holiday, which just so happened to fall on a weekend, and both Bitty and Jack are free.

Bitty is nervous, just like he was with meeting the Falconers. He brings so many pies and random deserts. He worried over his outfit for a week. Jack was a supportive boyfriend and helped him pick out his outfit and bake, but also helped him not get too anxious.

Bob and Alicia are all smiles and very like soft at first, trying not to scare Bitty off (theyre both Extra AF usually). Over dinner, they all have some wine and Bitty is starting too loosen up when Alicia asks him about his recipe for the pie.

Then Bob slips up and mentions something that’s clearly a reference to a video Bitty made in the past.

There’s a moment and Bitty looks at Bob and is like, questioning but not sure how to ask.

Bob caves. He can’t keep this up. “I’m not gonna lie, I watched all of your videos. Alicia and I both did. We think you’re wonderful and have been dying to meet you. Also, honestly your videos made me cry a few times. I told myself i was only going to watch a few but I definitely watched all of them, not all with Alicia, and I just.” He shrugs. “I’m a stan.”

Bitty blushes and laughs a lot. This breaks the ice entirely. Everything else goes great, Bob instantly adds Bitty into the family group text. Bitty now has both of them on snapchat and like he and Alicia are besties. Forever.

**When Jack meets Bitty’s parents:

They actually met over Skype first. That’s how Bitty came out to his parents and like a few weeks later they meet Jack. It’s a bit nerve-wracking for both of them but Coach is so impressed, but also is like “Of course my son could land an NHL star. He’s my son.” 

The first time they meet in person is over the summer then, during Fourth of July of course.

This is also when Jack’s parents come down to meet Bitty’s parents

 Everyone knows about Bitty. Well, most people do and if not they probably are distant. MooMaw is so supportive and loves Bitty a lot and is so excited to meet his “handsome hockey boyfriend”. Some of his aunts and uncles might not be, and some really don’t like it at all, but his parents and grandma are always there for him and that helps a lot.

Fourth of July is the obvious date to go down again. Coach and Suzanne encourage Bitty to invite Jack’s parents as well.

So Jack and Bitty and Bob and Alicia all fly together. Bob and Alicia rent a car and they drive to Bitty’s house.

Bob and Suzanne actually get along really well and so do Coach and Alicia. Like they all get along but this is where the friendships are (cause Bob can cook and honestly we don’t know much about Alicia but I think this girl loves like a lot of sports and played like soccer and stuff in high school so her and Coach get along super well talking sports and stuff)

It’s all wonderful and Suzanne loovvess that she can tell her old friends that she is now good friends with Bad Bob Zimmermann - her high school crush. 

FANFIC * NESSIAN * PART SEVENTEEN

Originally posted by iheartgot

Nessian Part Seventeen by L.J. LaFleur

Cassian:

The Night Court forest was vast, pines for hundreds of miles. It was one of our greatest defenses. Even with a compass or magic, foreigners would still lose their sense of direction. But now, standing here, it was haunting me. These woods that I grew up in, that I loved—were tainted by the screams of Nesta.

I released myself from my brothers, stepping forward with great effort. I bit down on my chapped lips; trapping the cry that threatened to escape.

I had been through worse, I reminded myself. Split open on one battlefield only to be torn apart on another, but I made it. Each time, I had fought through the hurdles; dripping with sweat and blood stained but victorious nonetheless.     

Scanning over everything, from the surrounding pines to the ancient boulders, I was unsure of where to focus first.

Breathe…Rhys pushed into my mind.

I looked over my shoulder, giving him a short nod as I inhaled. It felt like an arrow to my chest as her scent barreled through me.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta…

Keep reading

Because I recently read this great post by @starsinursa and also because I made myself (and @tinkdw who might or might not be interested in this post?) cry with this musing I wanted to think more about how exactly Castiel perceives himself regarding the Winchesters and how much he thinks he actually means to them.

Because I feel that he doesn’t get it at all and I think that this might be due to the different concepts of expressing one’s love Dean and Castiel have (I’m also pretty sure there have already been metas written about it but I can’t find them right now! Urgh). Dean isn’t able (most of the time) to actually voice the feelings he has without masking them behind anger, worry, etc. and instead opts for spending quality time, but Cas doesn’t see it as the love declaration it tries to be. Now I want to put a disclaimer here and say that I don’t think that Dean (and Sam) don’t love Cas, not by a long shot, I just want to explain what I thinkCastiel may think.

But let’s start at the end of Season 11. Dean is going to die; he accepted this. And what does Cas say? “I could go with you” (I’m not crying, you’re crying). For him, this is the ultimate proof of his love: to follow Dean wherever he will go, even in death. But Dean can’t accept this – and basically rejects Castiel, instead giving him the order to look after his little brother.

And Cas, even though he’s rebelled against heaven, accepts that order without any question whatsoever. Because he is very focused on things he hears – and in heaven, orders were basically all they had. Quality time? Giving gifts? What is this? Cas doesn’t know this and doesn’t get it.

So now Cas has gotten his order and he fails to obey it. He gets banished, Sam gets kidnapped, and when Cas, Dean and Mary are working together to bring Sam back he’s very eager but it’s all very dog-like. Dean says (in regard to Dr. Marion) “Don’t hurt him. Not yet.”, Mary instead gives him the order to “Hurt him.”. And Cas obeys. No questions asked. He is very violent, which I feel is very un-cas-like behaviour. But he still does it because he wants to fix his mistakes.

When they finally find Sam and bring him back, Cas has his conversation with Mary about how he is still not sure he belongs there. Because yeah, they’ve told him he’s family, he’s their brother, but all Cas gets from this are orders. And of course, why wouldn’t he believe that this is what family is like because this is what he has experienced in heaven for millennia (I also think this is a reason why Cas is so willing to accept Mary into his family because she fits right in AND why I think that Cas being brothers-in-arms-like with the Winchesters doesn’t cut it because it doesn’t help him or offer him a new perspective).

After that, Cas leaves because he still hasn’t fix all of his mistakes. He wants to find Lucifer, and in extension later in the season Kelly and Jack, to finally fix his mistakes and “come back with a win” because he still feels that everything he does fails.

And how does Dean take that? Not well. Because, for him, spending quality time (giving him coffee, inviting him to breakfast knowing full well he doesn’t eat) is the ultimate love declaration and Cas in turns rejects that in order to leave. Urgh. But instead of telling him that and asking him to stay because he needs him and loves him and please just stay I have some free space on the bed (I’m sorry I got carried away) he is angry and instead talks about the topics he deems safe, not noticing how much further he rejects Cas along the way.

Just look at some conversations they had/things Dean said, for example in 12x10: “Gotta make sure you don’t do anything else stupid.” - which of course is not the reason why he wants to go on that mission but this is what Cas hears. He already knows he’s failed at everything, the thing he thought was right (killing Billie for them) get’s rejected too, and now the only reason they even are helping him is in order to see to it that he doesn’t fuck everything up again. How is that love, for him?

And then the infamous scene where Dean has to make the decision to banish Ishim and possibly kill Cas or put himself into danger. Of course he picks Cas because he loves him but what does Cas see, especially with the snippet of the conversation above in mind? Great, now I’m endangering Dean because I can’t do anything right.

(I get so angry and frustrated writing this post *makes frustrated noices*)

When they’re back in the bunker and everything’s as fine as can get, Dean gives him a beer (again, knowing full well he doesn’t actually need it) as a declaration of truth and he also goes as far as explaining that he’s not mad, he’s worried. Which is great, but what does he say when Cas says “I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life”? The next thing Dean says is: “So what are you gonna do if you find Kelly and, uh, Lucifer Junior?” I mean, wow. Dean can’t deal with the fact that Cas may be willing to die so he wants to talk about safer things. And what does Cas probably get from this? I don’t care if you die, just tell me what you want to do about Kelly.

And Cas, subsequently, does everything he can about Kelly. Because he thinks this is what he’s supposed to do, it’s a safe topic for Dean, so he’s talked about it a lot, and Sam – well Sam likes Sam and cares for him a lot, but Sam is not the one who needs to have the rousing speech how he wants Cas to stay in the bunker.

I don’t want to talk about 12x12 because this has been meta’ed to death, but I want to talk about 12x19 in greater details (some stuff was already in the post I linked at the beginning). Cas comes back, and the first thing Dean does is scolding him for ignoring his phone calls and telling him he’s not glad he’s back. And why isn’t he glad he’s back? Because when they actually had an opportunity to kill Dagon, he wasn’t there. So what’s the use for him to now be back? Is what Cas gets from this. He failed again, wasn’t available to help the Winchesters when they wanted him to be (because this is all he’s good to do, he feels) and now he’s back without anything to offer, so…

Of course, this episode is also where Dean finally says something that resembles an actual, honest to god “I need/love you” declaration: “We will find a better way. (…) We. You, me, and Sam, we’re just better together.” And how sad is it that Cas still feels the need to leave because he feels like they won’t have a better shot at dealing with the baby than teaming up with heaven and killing the baby? He wants to spare Dean and Sam this, so he has to leave again.

And Dean, again, sees this as the rejection it isn’t because they just can’t seem to get their act together, tell each other that they love and care for each other and want the other one to stay and deal with everything together. Cas because he feels that this is not what Dean wants and because he wants to be of as much use for the Winchesters as he can (which often means leaving them and dealing with problems alone) and Dean because he feels that he’s not worthy of it and that Cas wouldn’t want to stay anyway.

*makes more frustrated noises* Ok I think I’m done.

Domestic Drabbles - 6: It’s Not London (Part 1)

Presenting! *drum roll* Part 6 of Domestic Drabbles: A Series! 
More inspiration from my amazing husband!

This one has two parts, so watch for the next one coming soon. Beware the slight angst.

And shoutout to @baz-n-simon for being the most amazing beta, support, and bestie (:


Simon

Baz has been having a string of bad days lately. When he comes over, he’s grumpy and frustrated, and we always end up arguing over pointless things before he leaves for the night. We’re both so fiery and stubborn that neither of us can back down. Sometimes these fights are so intense that I’m so sure he wouldn’t even bother coming over the next day. But he always does. Everyday.

Most of the time, we don’t talk about it. The arguments or Baz’s bad day. It’s not that we avoid the conversation; it’s just that I rarely ask and he rarely offers. I’ve never been great with words, so I made a rule for myself to not force others to talk if they don’t want to. And Baz tends to avoid talking about most of his feelings, like he always has, so the conversation never happens. Penny says that this isn’t healthy, but when has mine and Baz’s relationship ever been an example of perfection?

But now, Baz is standing in front of me, in the doorway of my bedroom, looking like he might cry at any moment, and I immediately decide to break my rule.

“Baz.” I gently touch his hand that’s gripping the doorknob. “What- what’s wrong?” He’s so delicate like this, so fragile, like if touched him any more, he would break.

He shifts his gaze around my face, like he’s unsure, or thinking. Then he furrows his brow and touches my shoulder, then gently pushes me aside.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Snow,” he says. He walks over to my bed and just plops down on it, stomach first and dead-weight. Literally dead-weight, my mind adds. And then I frown.

“Baz,” I say. He just sighs into the sheets, then grabs a pillow and places it over his head.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

I frown at him again. At this point, I would just go to the kitchen for snacks and let Baz fume through what was bothering him. But with that look on his face, I’m suddenly determined to get him to tell me.

“Baz,” I say again, and he groans. He then grabs the entire blanket from the end of the bed and pulls it on top of him.

“No, Snow.”

I walk over to his legs that are sticking off the bed, and I touch his ankle gently.

“Tell me,” I say. It wasn’t a demand; more of a subtle plea.

He lets out a muffled huff. “No, Snow,” he says again.

I crawl onto the bed and sit beside him. “Please tell me,” I say, laying my hand on his back.

“No.” He pulls the edges of the blanket closer to him. “Can’t you leave me alone?”

“Nope,” I say, grabbing the edges of the blanket near his face. I try to yank them away, but Baz’s death-grip is unmatched. His literal death-grip, my mind adds. And I frown again. I can’t seem to turn off the vampire jokes today.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Baz says, tucking the blanket it under him. “Let me hide here in peace.”

“I want you to talk about it, Baz,” I say. I roll on top of him and sit on his back, pinning the back of his legs down with my feet. “I’m not going to let you hide.” I grab the blanket in front of his face and pull it upward.

“Ugh, Snow. Get off,” he says, trying to hold the blanket down. He moves around slightly, trying to shake me off, but I have the upperhand. Literally.

I manage to pull the blanket out of one of Baz’s hands, and I peel it back off part of his face. He immediately turns his head over and hides his face in the other hand.

“Leave me alone,” he says, but it’s less upset sounding and more grumpy.

“I will leave you alone if you tell me,” I say, tugging at the blanket in his other hand.

“No.”

I start to frown, but my lip suddenly curls upward into a smirk. I push Baz’s hair away from his temple, lean down, and kiss him gently there. And then again. And again.

“Please tell me,” I say, curling my fingers into his hair.

He just buries his face even more into his blanketed hand.

“Baz,” I mumble against his temple.

“No, Snow.”

I kiss his temple again, then start pushing the blanket away from his face. He tries to fight me, holding onto the blanket as much as possible, but I keep managing to push it further and further away. I kiss each area of his face as I uncover it. I kiss the top of his cheekbone, and then his cheek, and his jaw, and then his nose. He has his eyes scrunched closed, so I kiss his eyelids, and then his forehead. I linger back along his temple, then kiss his ear.

“Baz,” I whisper into it.

He groans. “Fine,” he says, opening his eyes and letting go of the blanket. “I’ll tell you.”

I smile at him and lean up. As I begin to relax, Baz pushes my shoulder and tries to roll, pushing me off in the process. He almost succeeds in escaping, but as he rolls over, I pin one of his arms down so he can’t get up and roll back on top of him.

“You’re not going anywhere until you tell me,” I say. He tries to push at me with his free arm, but I pin that down as well. I’m inches away from his face now, and he’s glaring at me, his pupils enlarging, so I glare back.

We hold our glares at each other for a moment before he huffs in defeat. “Fine, Snow, fine. Just let go of my arms.”

“I will give you one arm,” I say.

He grins at this, and I feel my whole body relax. I didn’t even realize how tense I had been until now.

“Fine,” he says, still grinning. “One arm.”

I let go of his left arm, and he immediately places his hand on my leg, stroking his thumb along it. His grin suddenly disappears though, and I feel myself tense up again.

“My father,” he says, and his eyes shift away from me. “He’s never approved of my choice in Universities. London has never been prestigious enough for him. He wants me to go to Oxford.”

I raise my eyebrow at him. “Oxford? What’s wrong with that?”

His gaze falls back on me. “It’s not London, Snow.”

“I don’t understand, Baz,” I say, and I truly don’t. Oxford is prestigious. Baz is prestigious. It makes sense for him to go there.

Baz wiggles his arm that I’ve pinned down, and I let it go, leaning up in the process. He immediately grabs my hand and squeezes it. His eyes lock with mine, and they’re filled with so much sadness that my chest starts to hurt.

“It’s not London, Simon.”


(Part 2)

(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(7)(8) - (ao3)

River Vixens [Cheryl x Reader]

Requested by @gemini-indecisiveness

Summary: The readers friends tell her to try out to be a River Vixen and she doubts herself and runs out of practice and Cheryl comes and comforts her.

Warnings: none just fluff

Word Count: 330 (Sorry its so short)

Originally posted by onlineriverdale

“No, I don’t think that I would make a good River Vixen…” Y/N said quietly looking down. “What are you talking about? You would be amazing!” Veronica said with a bright smile. “Yeah, we should all try out together!” she added looking at Betty. “What do you think Archie?” Veronica asked looking over at Archie. “Huh? What? Oh, you guys would be great!” He smiled at them.

Keep reading

Dangerous

Originally posted by iislaywhores

Requested; The8 x Reader

Words: 3951



The8’s POV

It was another one of those days where Seungcheol gave Hoshi’s squad the butt of his jobs. I’d be totally fine with that. If I wasn’t in his team.

We either get the most dangerous jobs, or the jobs that even Chan could do by himself. Ironically enough, Chan isn’t here today. He gets to skip out on an “extortion” because Seungcheol gave him a special spot on Jihoon’s little team.

[A/N: Extortions are the act of forcing people to give up their money by using threats.]

I was just sitting outside of the store that we were about to enter. Where were Soonyoung and Jun? Well, they’re at the ice cream parlor down the road. They aren’t the type to do jobs like these quickly. Soonyoung is a real scary guy, and he’s serious about his job. He just acts like a child sometimes. Jun, well, he’s not much of a guy for serious business. I didn’t go with them because I had to keep a watch on the store, make sure it didn’t close.

Time can fly by in situations like this, and it did. After a few minutes, I noticed someone new sitting on a bench on the other side of the road. I was always taught it’s impolite to stare, but being in the mafia has brought upon a lot of staring.  So I kind of ‘unintentionally’ stared at her. It was really hard not to; everywhere I looked, all my attention went straight back to her. It was like some type of force was pushing me to look at her.

Keep reading

Great Comet 8/18

My Great Comet Experience - 8/18/17 - Onstage Seating, First Row Banquettes, Aisle, Stage Right

-First of all, the stage is gorgeous. If Mimi Lien didn’t win Best Set Design I would’ve died

-Lulu Fall gave our section pierogis, and she was so sweet, and they were delicious

-Amber Gray did or section for the pre-show announcements. Okay, so, I met her the day before I saw the show, and she remembered my name? Y'all can brag about Amber smiling at you, but wait until I tell you what happened at the stage door. Not everyone gets to be friends with one of their idols

-I almost started crying when the show started

-The scene where Andrey leaves for war is honestly heartbreaking, as is the expression on Scott’s face

-Within the first minute I was slapped by about five costumes, which I liked a lot. I also got a ton of eye contact from everyone, I swear. Everyone

-In the perfect position to hear everyone, including being able to pick out all of the harmonies through all of the songs

-When Lucas said ‘he spends his money on women and wine,’ he winked at my mom

-Scott is actually a m a z i n g, and he was consistent through all of the show

-Amber conducts the women during Pierre, I was the only one who really got it, I think

-Marya and Natasha are very dismissive of Sonya in Moscow, it sort of surprised me. However, Grace McLean’s expressions are absolutely amazing, as well as her voice

-Courtney Bassett was very good as Mary, just very different than Gelsey. Her Mary has a much tighter leash on her emotions

-When Paul was doing his thing as the servant, when he went up to Bolkonsky, Nicholas Belton said ‘I’ve told you not to sneak up on me like that’

-When Denée sang in The Private and Intimate Life of The House she sang to me a bit

-I nearly had a panic attack during the ‘where are my glasses’ sequence

-When Denée said hello in Natasha and Bolkonskys I almost started laughing, just because I was expecting it to be quiet and shy, but nope!

-Denée and Courtney came and sat right in front of us while they were singing ‘constrained, and strained,’ and it was awesome

-T h e m e a n o l d m a n i n h i s u n d e r t h i n g s

-When Bolkonsky said 'not in my house’ I nearly died, because I didn’t expect it

-No One Else was stunning. Denée’s voice is gorgeous, and the blue lighting is beautiful

-The snow fell right next to me in No One Else

-All of The Opera

-Honestly Nick and Amber were so amazing in the Opera. They came and sat right in front of us, and Amber whispered, 'Don’t worry, it’s only for a little,’ and she and Nick smiled at me

-The Opera itself makes a lot more sense when you see Andrey being shot

-Lucas’ entrance? Was amazing? He is one of my idols, honestly. He manages to be super talented and live his life as a person. Natasha, I get you girl

-Natasha and Anatole was great. Lucas made eye contact with me a bit, one of my life long goals came true

-Nick came through the audience in The Duel, which made me smile for some reason

-The strobe lights in The Duel made me really happy

-Lauren Zakrin sat in front of us in The Duel with another ensemble member (who I didn’t have time to recognize) to snort the fake crack. Before she did, she picked up my pierogi, and said 'You haven’t eaten this yet?’ I said, 'I’m saving it.’ She said 'You have to eat it while it’s still warm!’

-For 'Never mind about that now/It doesn’t matter/I don’t give a damn,’ and when Dolokhov is singing about Anatole before, Nick sang to us and made eye contact with me a bit, and Lucas and Amber were in front of us

-'OH, this is horribly stupid!’ Killed me. Lucas’ expressions throughout the song were great

-I didn’t know Dolokhov and Pierre went to the stairs on the side of the stage to start their paces for the duel

-Amber’s scream d e s t r o y e d me. Hélène does have feelings

-WHEN DOLOKHOV GETS SHOT

-All of Dust and Ashes was stunning. Scott is such an amazing Pierre. Also the choral parts? Amazing

-'God is EVERYWHERE’

-Charming was amazing. Amber Gray is such a talented woman. Honestly one of the best songs in the show

-The dancing in The Ball was phenomenal

-When Lucas runs up the stairs to kiss Natasha during 'blocking her path, I bring her face close to mine,’ he ran right by me

-T h e k i s s

-All of Letters

-In the beginning I got sang to for “Once it’s on the paper we feel better, we feel better/It’s like some kind of clarity when the letter’s done and signed”

-Cathryn Wake gave me her letter (shoulder bops get you places), and it said 'Hold fast to what you love, xo, Cathryn’

-When Hélène is passing the letter along the front row

-Just say YEEEEEEEEES

-Lucas held that note forever

-That look Anatole gives Sonya at the end of letters

-Denée’s face during 'I do not grasp the question’ is me constantly

-Sonya Alone made me cry

-Okay so you know how y'all say ’___ could step on me and I would be grateful,’ right? Well, Nick Choksi actually stepped on my foot, so.

-Dolokhov and Anatole in Preparations are fabulous. When Nick tries to interrupt Anatole during 'Isn’t that so, now, don’t you know’

-I started getting super pumped during Balaga. Paul was great, and I saw the Dolokhov and Anatole kiss! Short but sweet

-The. Abduction

-I talked about this one, but during 'Everyone raise a glass/WHOOOooooooooooOoAH’ (which Lucas held forever), he grabbed a nearby man’s water bottle and shoved it into his hand, so I ended up raising my invisible glass

-The Gypsy Lovers segment made me cry

-The number is wild. There’s so much to watch, the fist fight, the make out session, etc. I got a bit flustered. The dancing was fabulous, I found myself watching Alex Gibson a lot. He has such an energy

-'WOOOOOOOAH/Here’s to happiness, freedom and life/Hey!’ Was one of the best Broadway moments of the season. The portrait smashing was great

-'Shut the door! First we have to sit down/That’s the way/It’s a Russian custom,’ Lucas sat right behind us, just having a staring contest with the girl he pushed over. So, you know, up close view of Lucas Steele

-Shoba plucking the violin made me super happy (?)

-'Hey Balaga ho Balaga hey hey hey Balaga/Hey HEY Balaga’

-Marya’s facial expressions during 'You will not enter my house scoundrel!’

-And Anatole’s expressions

-Grace was about eleven feet away from me while singing the first minute of In My House and I was trembling

-S o n y a w h y

-And then Denée went there for 'And she threw herself down on the sofa’

-Grace McLean during all of A Call To Pierre, she stuns me

-For some reason, whenever Pierre left his study it felt really symbolic to me

-'NatAsha/NatAsha/It is essential that I see Natasha/How can I see her?’

-When Pierre met Hélène and Anatole in the drawing room, the three were super close to us

-During 'You are more repulsive to me than ever,’ Amber whispered 'Go,’ to Lucas, then ran and leaned right on my banquette section, right next to me

-Scott was actually terrifying in A Call To Pierre, Lucas, I get you

-'Amuse yourself with women like my wife/With them your within your rights,’ Amber’s gasp hurt my heart

-Lucas’ expressions for the rest of the song were flawless, my eyes welled a little

-I think I was the only one who understood Natasha was poisoning herself

-Denée’s s c r e a m when she poisons herself, and when Grace comes onstage made me cry

-I’m sure everyone says this, but- 'Next day Anatole left/For PETERSBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURG!’

-Brittain made me cry- again- during Natasha Very Ill, but I think I was also crying because of Nick accompanying her onstage

-Nicholas Belton was fabulous in Pierre and Andrey. He was so crushed

-Scott’s face during 'If you wish to be my friend/Never speak of that again,’ made me cry. His Pierre is so excellent

-I love the piano in Pierre and Natasha. It breaks my heart.

-I was actually watching Amber for portions of the song, and she made me cry

-I started crying when Denée started crying

-I cried even harder during the proposal

-All of The Great Comet Of 1812 made me cry. All of it. I watched Lucas for a little, and it broke my heart

-I sobbed during bows

-At the stage door (this includes people who snuck out the alternate door and smiled at me for a few seconds) I met many ensemble members, including Josh, Alex, Shoba, Lauren, Cathryn, Mary Page, and a few others. I also met Denée, Grace, Nicholas B, and Lucas (who did not go down the line, but smiled at me). Brittain, Courtney, Nick C, and Paul Pinto went down the line

-Amber snuck out, but then came back. We hugged, talked a bit, and she only took a picture with me, then left with Brittain

-I cried a lot that night

-Tears of gratitude

FANFIC * NESSIAN * SNEAK PEEK * PART SEVENTEEN * AND LIFE UPDATE

Originally posted by suicide-whatever

Nessian Part Seventeen by L.J. LaFleur 


Cassian:

 The Night Court forest was vast, pines for hundreds of miles. It was one of our greatest defenses. Even with a compass or magic, foreigners would still lose their sense of direction. But now, standing here, it was haunting me. These woods that I grew up in, that I loved—were tainted by the screams of Nesta.

I released myself from my brothers, stepping forward with great effort. I bit down on my chapped lips; trapping the cry that threatened to escape.

I had been through worse, I reminded myself. Split open on one battlefield only to be torn apart on another but I had made it. Each time, I had fought through the hurdles; dripping with sweat and blood stained but victorious nonetheless.     

Scanning over everything, from the surrounding pines to the ancient boulders, I was unsure of where to focus first.

Breathe…Rhys pushed into my mind.

I looked over my shoulder, giving him a short nod as I inhaled. It felt like an arrow to my chest as her scent barreled through me.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta…


To be continued…


Originally posted by chris-crossed

Originally posted by hail-stydia


Update:

Hey all!

Soooo…few things.

1) I got a job! Something about needing money to buy things and pay for bills. I don’t know, I try to ignore all adult conversations.

Don’t fret, grandma is cool and dandy but I am no longer her caretaker. Instead, I’m learning all about PPO’s and HMO’s and how the insurance world works. #sellingmysoulforfiletmignon #kidding #ramenitis

All this while pursuing my dreams to become an author…mmhmm.

2) The Nessian fic, my other baby, I am still continuing with it! I’m looking at 20-25 chapters. Whoo!

3) After Nessian, we’re still doing the Az/Lucien/Elain fic. It’s beautiful. I’m crying–lots.

4) I’m late as hell with my Sneak Peek and I apologize. I had a rewrite and then apparently you’re not allowed to use company wifi to post urgent fics on tumblr. Again, wasn’t really listening to all that negativity…lol. Kidding, I don’t have wifi access at work…at all…and not enough data on my phone. SO…my bad, folks!

‘Till Lucille Do Us Part

Based on this request:  Hi! Can you do a Daryl x Reader set in Season 6 ending where Negan is about to kill someone with Lucille, and yn volunteers because he chose Daryl and she loves him. Thank you very much 💗

Word Count: 737

A/N - Here it is! It’s quite short and probably not very good, but I wasn’t sure how much to add to this bc there’s only so much I could put into this one scene. So, I’m sorry if it doesn’t live up to anyone’s standards - Kris

My eyes. God, they burned. The sweat and blood didn’t help any. I could barely see. What I could see, though, was Daryl. My friend, my companion, my closest partner, and my-dare I say it-lover. He looked so hurt. We all were.

Rick was a mess. He saw hell and everything special about it, but I don’t think any of us saw this. The world as we knew it was crumbling around us.

I vaguely heard Negan’s voice. It was almost so carefree for what he was about to do. How could he do it? This murderer of a man was so sinister. He caused my blood boil and my breath to hitch. I’m sure if I could untie my hands, I’d go after him.

If only I could wipe my face.

Negan continued talking, but I kept my eyes on Daryl. I could only focus on him. He was like my rock. We made eye contact and I swear I started crying. I couldn’t lose any of these people, but I just couldn’t live without Daryl.

“Why are you crying, you little baby?” Negan walked over to me, swinging his bat, Lucille.

“I’m sorry,” I instantly apologized.

“Keep quiet from now on,” Negan spat.

I sniffled a few more times before completely shutting my mouth. My shoulders shook and the ropes around my wrists started to twist and burn into my flesh. I was completely helpless .I couldn’t help my family, Daryl, or myself. My shoulders sank with a great weight attached.

Negan continued talking, swinging around Lucille and laughing. Before too long, he was coming to each individual person.

“Eeny…” He walked over to Glenn, “Meeny…” Rick. “Miny…” Me. “Moe.” He taunted everyone with his shoulders forward and he eyes gleaming with desire and anger. The way he moved so fluidly scared me. It was almost as if he started out gentle, but he became a monster. The demons in him won and destroyed every good thing in sight.

It was agony watching him provoking us, making us suffer this horrifically. It wasn’t for another thirty seconds at least that he stopped in front of Daryl. Negan sneered. “This really fucking sucks, but I need everyone to know who’s in charge around here.”

I started hyperventilating. Everything was spinning. I felt a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me down. “You can’t take him, please. Take me instead! Please don’t kill Daryl, please,” I sniffled. I could feel the snot above my upper lip. The tears made rivers down my cheeks and the person gripping my shoulder tensed up at my voice.

Negan walked over to me. His smirk faltered bit, but he held up. He wasn’t expecting someone else to step up, let alone the person he yelled at to shut up a few minutes ago.

“What the hell is this? You’re willing to sacrifice your life for his?” he pointed at Daryl.

I nodded. “I would, because I love him,” I admitted. Everyone knew Daryl and I were together, and I would say both of us loved each other, but neither of us had told each other.

Daryl’s head shot up and over to me. Tears streamed down his face, and his shoulders shook with grief.

“Ah, true love. Must be a blessing to have. But, you offered. I’ll never turn down an offer,” Negan snickered.

“Promise me you nor your men won’t kill him, please,” I breathed.

Negan watched my face before nodding.

I hung my head before sighing in relief. As long as Daryl was alive and well, I would be okay with that. He needed to live. He was a massive help to the group and without him, the group would majorly suffer. Without me, the group would grieve, but they would move on and be okay, and I was okay with that.

Rick leaned over to me, “Y/N, what are you doing? Why are ya doing this? Daryl’s gonna be lost without ya.”

“I have to, Rick. Please take care of Daryl for me,” I cried as Negan kicked my leg.

“Shut up now,” he grunted.

As Negan talked for a few more seconds, I made eye contact with Daryl and started crying again. He was crying, and his eyes were pleading for me to stop. But it was too late. I was doing this for Daryl.

“I love you, Daryl,” I said before Negan lifted his arms. He swung down the bat fast and hard as Daryl cried out.

guitar-cant-keep-from-crying  asked:

I just wanted to tell you that ever since you made me that moodboard with Cloud Nine I've been getting into this whole editing thing and it's so fun! It great to learn how you and other people do their edits, because now I can apply these things to my own edits. I did a moodboard today on my other blog because of you! I've never done anything like this before and I'm really proud of myself; so thank you for inspiring me! :D While we're at it: what kind of psds do you use? I wanna try new ones!

hello, i’m so happy you were inspired to discover graphic arts, i’m looking forward to seeing your future works!

i’d be glad to share my most used/favorite psds on here, and if you ever need further help i’ll be more than glad to give a hand!!

COLORFUL PSDS: (*)

PALE PSDS:

(*) important: some of these psds may be too intense for the image/gif/graphic you’re editing, and ruin the coloring in some cases! if this happens, simply lower the opacity of the psd or delete some of the adjustment layers, till your product looks fine

other: my main sources of psds and new colorings are peachresourcesitsphotoshop, yeahps &. completeresources

#6: Bringing It All Together

I really wanted to have this done before the 25th ended, but here I am 7 minutes past. Thanks for the wait, thanks for the asks and comments and stuff :) so please feel free to send in more! see you for #7 soon!

#1, #2, #3#4, #5, #7

“So you made that choice because I didn’t show up?!” He got up again and began pacing. “That’s so fucked up – you had an abortion because I didn’t show up at the fucking coffee shop?!”

Keep reading

8

make me choose

iris/@finnblush asked - Napoleon Solo or Illya Kuryakin

10

All Huevember’s i’ve made this year. I’ve stopped after the terrorists attack in Paris. Making explosions and funny things was sort of unwarranted.. (see the last animation.)

However, it I am quite proud of myself for this month, I finally feel an improvement in my work and that is a great feeling. NOW LETS START DECEMBER :) Fresh New Month \o/

Tomorrow i’ll show you a new project with a friend of mine @thevipersnake
I hope you will like it !
Sayonara !

Essena O’Neill is a virtual Panhandler.

I saw about 500 different articles yesterday on facebook, buzzfeed, instagram, and tumblr about some girl named Essena O’Neil quitting social media to live life in the real world. I guess this girl was “instagram famous” and companies would pay her to post pictures wearing their clothes or drinking their tea or whatever product they wanted her to endorse. So social media was essentially her career. 

Apparently, Essena had some eye-opening experience that made her realize that she based her self-worth on followers and likes, and that social media is all a facade or “not real life” as she says over, and over, and over, and over again in her 3 youtube videos she made about why she’s quitting social media. She goes on and on for like 15 minutes about how social media isn’t real, she won the genetic lottery, and that people need to get off their phones and live in the now. “Hell yeah! What a great message!” i thought to myself as I watched, but then she completely ruined it for me by closing her message with a pathetic plea for her followers to give her money because she can’t afford her rent. 

This made me furious. Here we have this perfectly healthy 18 year old girl, an alleged straight A student, crying about wanting to live a normal life in the real world, but not actually doing anything to live her desired “normal life” and begging strangers to financially support her. How in the hell is that a step towards living a normal life in the real world? I don’t think her intentions were ever to live a normal life. In my opinion, she’s exploiting a real issue to promote her new blog so she can continue to make money by literally doing nothing, and she’s receiving praise for it. That’s sickening. 

You never quit a job when you have financial responsibilities to take care of and no source of income lined up to replace the job you’re quitting. I thought this was common sense, but I guess I just have good parents and smart friends because this is something I’ve been perfectly aware of since I started working. This girl had a job, social media, that allowed her to take care of her rent and bills without having to depend on someone else to do it for her. I find it ridiculous that people are giving her praise for being irresponsible and quitting her job, leaving her incapable of taking care of herself. I get it, her job was making her depressed and it wasn’t healthy for her to live that way anymore. Guess what? In the real world, pretty much everyone hates their job! I work in a restaurant and deal with assholes all fucking day to the point where I don’t even want to be around people most of the time, but I would NEVER quit my job and put myself in a position where I can’t pay my rent. To be perfectly blunt: that’s just fucking stupid. She is receiving so much attention and praise for something that in the “real world” she so desires to be a part of would be considered stupid and irresponsible. She isn’t accountable for her actions whatsoever, and we are just enabling that. 

So I guess no we’re supposed to feel bad for this poor 18 year old girl who quit her social media job to live a normal life where she begs strangers to support her. An 18 year old, straight A student, who is mentally stable, well bodies, and 100% full capable of finding a normal real world job, but would rather blog about wanting to live a normal life and rely on her followers to support her. Really? We’ll support an adult who is 100% capable of taking care of herself, but when we scoff, judge, and look down on homeless people that ask for spare change outside of stores or on street corners? This girl who has a roof over her head, food in her refrigerator, and clean clothes on her back is more deserving of your spare change than a mentally ill and damaged veteran who has literally nothing? PISS OFF. This girl is no different than the panhandlers you see asking for money outside of stores that eventually drive off in a car nicer than yours cause they’d rather ask people for money than work for it. If you have money to spare, please don’t give it to some girl who is more than capable of taking care of herself. Donate it to a charity, give it to a homeless person, or use it to buy food for a homeless person if you feel skeptical about giving them money. Don’t let yourself be scammed. 

And who follows this girl? What is the demographic of her fans? Well, who uses social media the most: teenagers and young adults. It’s hard enough to take care of yourself  and be financially independent at that age, let alone being responsible for someone else. I find it kind of insulting that I bust my ass trying to balance full-time school with working almost full-time, and this girl wants to beg me and other people going through the same shit as me to pay her bills. Get the fuck out of here. If she put as much energy into finding a job as she’s putting into promoting her blog, then she would for sure be employed right now. Expecting teenagers and young adults, who are most likely working and going to school in order to better themselves, to support you financially is just wrong and she should be ashamed of herself for even asking. 

Social media can be harmful, and it’s important to educate young people about the psychological harm that can happen to people who measure their self-worth in social media popularity. Everyone, and i mean everyone, tries to make their lives seem so much more interesting on social media and it’s important to recognize that and avoid comparing your life so someone’s social media life. If you find yourself getting upset because your life isn’t as exciting as someone’s life on social media, or if you get upset because your picture doesn’t get a million likes on instagram, remember than you’re so much more valuable than that! And if you get to a point where it affects your mental and/or physical health, then get professional help. Know that you are beautiful, loves, and important. I remember the story of Madison Holleran on ESPN called split image and it’s worth the read if you are intrigued by this topic. But don’t support some girl who is exploiting a real issue to gain more attention and to fool people into taking care of her financial responsibilities. We didn’t force her to become an instagram celebrity, we didn’t force her to accept money and sponsorships from companies, we didn’t tell her to make social media her life, and we are not responsible for taking care of an adult who is more than capable of taking care of herself. This isn’t an attempt to start a movement, this is a clever marketing strategy so Essena can rebrand herself. Don’t buy into the bullshit! 

Head canon (because I’m an asshole):

The Princess Dis has lost everything. Her home, her grandfather, her father, her brothers, her husband and now her sons. There is nothing for her in Erebor but grief. After the funeral, after she buries the remains of her heart, she returns to the Blue Mountains with a small colony to retain their meager holdings there. She makes a simple life for herself helping others and building a formidable city, ever burdened with the great mantle of loss.

One night, in the midsts of a snow storm, a stranger appears at her door. It is an elf woman with hair of fire and eyes full of sorrow.

“I come to fulfill a promise for one who can not,” the elf says and extends her hand. Resting in her palm is the rune stone Dis had once carved for her youngest son, now offered as sanction and in reverence.

Dis invites the elf inside.

much adoe about nothing

you can’t see my face but there are actual stars in my eyes and i’m very like to catch a fly sooner or later. POP UP GLOBE IS SOOOO GREAT. i was the first person into the yard and had to wait half an hour for the show to start but barely noticed because i was too busy soaking up the atmosphere. SO AWESOME.

some notes on the show (because i can’t review proper) ((also the pronouns are going to be all out of whack because the male parts were played by female actors and vice versa and will depend on whether i’m talking about the actor or the character)):

  • don john was really interesting. still quite the two-bit villain except for one point, when he, borachio, and conrade surrounded him at the masque and it actually felt dangerous, like, here is a dangerous man which i’ve never really felt in don john before. AND THEN they repeated similar staging with hero in the middle being hemmed in by don pedro, don john and claudio on three sides, ughhhhhh it was a good moment (also margaret reacted wonderfully and i’m so mad i didn’t see him exit off stage because i had my head turned and they never reappeared)
  • claudio was given a stutter so that … people would feel more sorry for him? i don’t know if it’s because i’m entrenched in anti-claudio or the actress had higher status than benedick in some scenes (notably when benedick issues his challenge), but it didn’t really work for me. (ha, i’m having a korero with my head of dept on fb about this at the same time and she says “Claudio should just be hot… and wrong.” truth.)
  • benedick was actually the prince’s jester. i’ve most recently watched tennantate, and dt can throw on high status like the flick of a mantle, but this benedick (was fantastic), don pedro and claudio didn’t take the challenge seriously at any point - they knew he was in earnest but it didn’t cross their minds that he was a serious threat. interesting dynamic.
  • fantastic use of the yard, particularly in benedick’s gulling scene. benedick took an audience member’s hat so she could blend in, and took the time to make giving it back a beautiful moment. beatrice’s ways of avoiding detection bordered on too ridiculous but damn did that boy commit and pull it off. i laughed ‘til i cried and had to hang onto the edge of the stage (things they don’t tell you when describing the experience of a groundling).
  • OH the number of times benedick and beatrice nearly kissed. after the church scene, long drawn out slowly moving towards each other then beatrice turned her head and benedick had his “i will kiss your hand” - hilarious and kind of heart breaking how careful/cautious/scared/uncertain beatrice was.
  • leonato made me cry. much ado was the very first shakespeare play i ever saw, on film and stage, but i’ve never felt leonato’s grief myself before.
  • DOGBERRY (ALSO VERGES), those two were so great. they had a really long intro before beginning their scene but the transition into shakespeare was seamless. i mean, nothing in their voices or demeanor suggested they were now speaking something other than their natural tongue, it was impressive. also, the things they could do with their faces, fucking charming.

so many things i could talk about. i was told before hand that this play was going to be better than tennantate and i can’t say that’s not the truth. nothing compares to live theatre and if you haven’t seen shakespeare performed in front of you (on top of you - the jig at the end was slightly alarming from right at the stage edge), you haven’t lived. there was a kid sitting on the steps behind me giggling away, and i was like, yeah, that’s my shakespeare.

it’s 11:11 and I’m wishing you’d come back to me. I know things got hard and we weren’t really use to that. I mean you can’t deny we had a pretty perfect run. I guess it was too hard for you and I wasn’t great enough to hold on to. I love you and I think about you. I haven’t cried since I wanted to kill myself so I guess I made progress. I’m crying now though but I want to be alive. I watch our videos and see that dopey smile on your face that lit my whole fucking world and I don’t understand how I managed to make it fade. I still love you and care for you. I normally think I don’t but it’s time like this where I realize I do. at least I hope it’s an illusion. I miss everything. I miss you always calling me annoying after I scared the shit out of you. I miss crying to each other on Sunday afternoons because we both didn’t want to part. I miss making out after football games. I miss holding your hand. I miss making fun of your stubby toes and chubby ass fingers that I grew to love. I miss you coming over and bonding with my family and I. I miss talking about how happy I was with you to my mother. I miss listening to 2000 RnB on pandora and singing our hearts out and you chest bumping with one hand on the wheel. I miss your happiness. you were so happy man. I made you so happy. we would talk while holding hands. talk while kissing. talk with you in my lap with my hands in the opening of your shorts without it even being sexual. we just constantly needed that closeness. we were so damn addicted to each other. I was so addicted to you and with the way you looked at me I knew it was just the same. you were so damn beautiful. I could literally pinpoint every mother fucking detail about you well actually I can. like your hair and how it only parted a certain way and if even a strand was misplaced you looked different. how your eyelashes always had to be perfectly parted or you’d go nuts and do your mascara all over again. how your hairs on your eyebrow would mess up so I’d have to grab them and a line them. how your top lip was ¼ the size of your bottom. how your cheekbones were always high especially when I was making you smile so wide and laugh so hard. how your nose had that whole Cindy Lou Whoo look to it and I fucking adored it. how your almond shaped eyes were so blue when you cried and I only noticed when you actually let me see. fuck man you were so damn beautiful and I’ll never get the image of you singing or laughing or smiling at me out of my god damn head. everytime you laughed you had this habit of shutting your eyes and putting your hand to your mouth but all I wanted to do was kiss you. I remember the first time I kissed you like it happened an hour ago. I remember exactly how I felt and how I didn’t want to stop because kissing you wasn’t like kissing any other girl. you weren’t just any other girl. I fell for you so fast but the best part was it was mutual our love was so mutual and so pure. I hate that it’s over, I do. it kills me I swear it does i’m just not allowing it to. but it’s times like this where I’m replaying all these moments and how we first met and how there wasn’t a single negative vibe I felt when I got into your car and you thought you looked like shit because you just got back from a water park. if I could redo this over and over and still go through the month of pain over and over, I would. my mom warned me she said it would hurt and it does but damn your love was worth it and I told you that in the beginning. that I thought love was scary but I knew having my heart broken by you was worth it. at least I hope it is.
—  j.n.

anonymous asked:

Okay so I saw a thing about them going back to their own worlds and I just had a thought. What if, to preserve their timelines, when they get back to their worlds, they forget everything. But they still retain feelings from those memories. Sometimes, while the other AIs are being all arguey with Geoff, Ray says "Guys, come on, WAFFLE-O." And then he's like "Wait, I've never heard that or thought of that wtf--" Or, one day, FAHC!Ray is walking down a dirt path and he sees a rock. He (Part one)

(Part 2) smiles and picks it up, saying “Hey Dwayne.” Then he just stops and wonders who the hell Dwayne is. HS Ryan wasn’t doing so well in science, particularly biology. But now, he practically can name all the different parts of a cow’s digestive track by heart. Where the hell did he learn that? He can’t remember. OG Geoff and Jack are really confused when they realize they have bird feathers and cat hair on their clothes, when they weren’t anywhere near either of those. (One last part)

They want to remember why they’re feeling these things but they can’t, it’s just a nagging sensation in the back of their heads that something happened, they heard or saw that somewhere but they just can’t remember. The Kings postpone entire battles due to feelings of companionship towards each other that weren’t there before oh god what have I done I made myself cry oh god–

oh my god.  OH MY GOD

This is glorious and oh great now I’m emotional help.  HEADCANON FUCKING ACCEPTED OKAY