great knits

4

My dear newbie yarn benders,

I love you. You’re wonderful and fabulous and energized about seeing a cool project on the inter-webs and have finally said “yes! I think I could do that! This is the one that will get me into knitting/crochet” With all the excitement and joy in the world you go to the craft store, grab the coolest looking yarn (in the best color, duh) and the cheapest needles/hook you can find (If if needles are too intimidating, you opt for the knitting loom. It comes in a 3 pack! score!). You follow the instructions as best you can with dreams of your project turning out exactly like the professionally taken photograph. Oh my naive, beautiful newbie yarn bender, you are on a craft high. Head so far in the clouds that you don’t realize what has happened until it’s done. We’ve all been here at some point, no matter how skilled a person is. 

My lovelies. Please learn from the mistakes that have already happened. Take the time to learn about gauge and value the materials needed. I am most definitely NOT saying buy the most expensive stuff. I am saying that skien of yarn that is one dollar more will likely make you enjoy the finished product bounties more than the value of one dollar. 

Take the top picture. This was most definitely made on a knitting loom. Im personally not a huge advocate of these. They’re great for learning how knitting works. Not great for endless feats of creativity. You’re limited by the size of the loom which limits you to the size of the yarn as well as the size of the object you make. For something that will not ladder (the long horizontal bits between the “V” stitches) you need yarn thick enough to touch the stitch next to it when wrapped around the loom. In the case of the photo, yarn far too thin was used. 

The next picture looks like it could be arm knitting. Which was a fad I loved. Can we bring this back instead of those pony tail hats? The larger the needle, in this case your arm, the larger yarn you need. The original appears to have multiple yarns being used. Perhaps our newbie knitter didn’t realize that’s an option? Lesson here: Larger needles, larger yarn. Smaller needles, smaller yarn. 

The last picture. This crocheted hippo went through the stretcher! oh no! This is a case of right yarn, wrong size hook. When your needle/hook is larger than your yarn and you put it under tension (in this case, stuffing it) the created fabric will stretch (more-so demonstrated in the first picture). Amigurumi is also hard as shit. The people who do it very well are incredible talented. We should all bow before their prowess. Please don’t try an amigurumi (small figurine knitting/crochet) as your first or even 5th project!

General rule of thumb: if you don’t want holes in your work look for yarn and needle/hook approx same size in diameter.

Alas, you have returned for the craft store. Heading the advice you’ve gotten complimentary yarn and needle/hook. TIME TO START THE CRAFT JUICE!

NO.

NOT YET.

“but whyyyy?” you whine

Because we must first test the yarn.

“But tests are boooooring” says the yarn. 

I agree, talking yarn. Tests are boring and terrible and holy crap tell you if you’re doing something right or wrong. This is useful information to know before creating something beautiful with your HANDS

Also my dear newbie yarn bender, practice makes a better yarn bender. Resist the urge to pump out something fast. Pinterst lied to you. It’s not going to take 1 hour. It will take at least 3 hours and two trips to the craft store. Accept this now. Knitting/crochet is slow ASF. Accept this now. Or find a different hobby. 

So loop on some stitches and knit or crochet your joyous heart out. Then measure it once you get around 5 inches. Count the stitches horizontally and vertically. Then refer to the chart above and make sure everything agrees. Got 12 stitches per 4 inches and using DK (3) yarn? Time to change needles sizes or get your gorgeous self some bulky yarn. Or get yourself some bulky yarn anyhow. Treat yo’self. 

i love you newbie yarn benders! Go forth and create and learn

<3 Stitch

Knitting and crochet, baking, and British murder shows and historical dramas on PBS..

I swear, one day I will age into my personality

ID #71163

Name: AJ
Age: 30
Country: USA

I’m a Mom, wife, and Cat Guardian in New Mexico! I love sending/receiving snail mail, so I’d love to have a consistent penpal. My hobbies/passions/addictions include (but are not limited to): spending time with my Family, listening to music, singing, doing crafts (mainly knitting and crochet), enjoying the Great Outdoors (hiking is my jam!), reading, photography, animals, writing, watching movies and Netflix, hanging out on social media, coloring, and teaching (I homeschool). I love rainy weather and Autumn! I’m wicked friendly, genuine, kind, honest, and positive, and I’m 100% accepting of everyone. I’m LGBTQ+ friendly (and not just because I’m part of the community), and I love all people - as long as they are not hateful, mean, dishonest, fake, homphobic, or racist. I’m Atheist, but I don’t reject anyone who is religious - so I really hope no one rejects me for my lack of beliefs. There is plenty more to get to know about me, and I’m one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet…so let’s do this! I may be “old,” but I’m pretty awesome. :D

Preferences: I would prefer my penpal(s) to be at least 18, and not be the bad type of person I mentioned above. I also prefer not to discuss politics, as I have seen how awful people can get when discussing that topic. I’d love to talk about anything and everything else, though - both the good AND the bad. :) If you’re someone who would love a handmade gift someday, that’s a perk!

Shance Fluff week Day 1 blue / black

“What. the. Quiznack.

They weren’t even on a mission. Hunk was cooking, Pidge Coran and Allura were all asleep after fixing some major problems with the Particle barrier, maybe now it can take more than 3 hits before going down and putting the last two alteans in existence in danger, Haggar gave up her identity as Altean when she betrayed them for the Galra. Keith and Lance were training by running a combative maze back-to-back. Lance was confused by the cargo ship that passed the window.

That confusion only lasted until  keith passed out, Lance could smell the gas and held his breath. Two masked figures walked into the room, Hunk  over the taller ones shoulders and  pidge hung limp on the small figure’s frame.    

Lance got a shot off in the small stranger whom had put Pidge in danger, before he also fell from lack of oxygen . The small one fell revealing the face of Haggar, bleeding out.

“ My son! Help your mother! Do not forsake me, Lotor!” Haggar cried, reaching with her free hand, holding Pidge over her wound.  The tall galra hybrid dropped Hunk and kicked Haggar.

“ Witch! Your mother privilege died the day you left me on Karanax , now you can die here, today. Things might have been different if you were Galra…”  Lotor  grabbed lance and keith, leaving the rest to the sentries.

When everyone woke, they were chained to the floor in Galra main command. Lotor stood before Allura, pulling some kind of liquid into a syringe. Lance saw an opportunity and took it. He grabbed a sentry gun and shot the chains from his friends, all the while tackling  Lotor to the ground.

Lotor snarled at Lance when he realized that the syringe was empty and stuck in his neck. “This was not meant for YOU!”

“Get to the lions! Tell blue I’ll get to her after I wipe the floor with this guy!”, Lance yelled, more to Keith than anyone else. Keith led the team to the hangar where Shiro and Matt had apparently been coordinating an attack through the lions. An attack that Lance had been leading apparently, having the strongest out of all the lion bonds, having reached out with Blue and Black to find Shiro.

Shiro, Matt and Keith all snuck back to the main bridge where a horrible sight unfolded before them, Lance vomiting multiple times, and blood spewing from his mouth. Lotor kicked him again and again while he fought for breath, until he stilled and quieted.

“ It’s funny, the virus I was going to inject into the Altean, only affects Alteans; right now, your response to it, confirms my suspicions. You… Are… Part… Altean… it’s your human side that makes you so weak that it’s only killing you that much faster… It would have infected Allura, then Coran, from there it would evolve and start hunting your fellow paladins before it began killing. Now, you will introduce it to both species, well done my little half-bred carrier… Wait, don’t die yet… you’re missing something,” Lotor chastised Lance as he picked him up by the face” I know what it isss!” Lotor sang in a childish way that made keith and shiro’s stomachs churn. He dug his clawed thumbs into Lance’s cheeks, blood slowly dripping to the floor.

The sight of Lotor laughing as he carved into the blue beauty’s face sealed the deal. Matt was half-way down the bridge before Shiro noticed that he had gone, “ TUCK AND ROLL, BITCH!” Matt screamed as he used his staff to throw Lotor into the lower deck, smirking when he heard him go splat against the metal hull of his ship.

Shiro ran to Lance as he once did cycles ago when he was almost blown to bits. Lance used what little energy he had to drag himself away from shiro, inch by bloody inch.

“ Stay… Awa- … ay, Shii- Hirro. Let… me… di-hiii… here. “ Lance wheezed, pushing Shiro away, to the best of his highly impaired ability. Well push isn’t the right word, more like gingerly touched Shiro’s helmet, before his arm fell to Shiro’s side. Lance’s breathing grew even more faint and laboured.

Keith watched helplessly paralyzed as Blue ripped into the bridge and pitifully roared at her motionless cub before she told Shiro to get out of the way. Blue did something almost unthinkable… she froze Lance… she then lay with her maw open so Matt could drag the Frozen body into a real cryostasis pod somewhere inside of her mechanical body.


Shiro yelled for Keith to get to Red. The two ran to their Lions, both trying to get the image of a practically dead Cuban out of their heads… it was twice as hard for Shiro, he saw every detail: the blood beginning to dry and turn brown crusting his jaw, which hung horrifically slack yet firm, his half lidded glassy red eyes that filled with tears; he didn’t want to go, he wasn’t ready, he still had, no has, he’s going to survive this, he still has too much to learn and see and do… his eyes have seen some of the worst that the universe had to offer, but he still looked for the best in people. God… he’s too young, they’re all too young… none of them have tried alcohol or even their first cigarette… has he even kissed anyone outside of family? They’re all just so young, 19 is too quiznacking  young to carry the weight of the universe on your shoulders if you ask Shiro. “ Let me die here”  he was delirious from the blood loss, he didn’t actually want to die…. But Shiro knew the feeling from his time in the ring, the beg of the weaker defeated opponents, they had been through the wringer so many times that they begged for death…. He spent many sleepless nights questioning the morality of it; was it too cruel to try and save them? Or did killing them make him a monster?

He didn’t want to think about his sins as Lance lay dying. God, why couldn’t it be him? There were plans in place in the likely event that he died. Black was reluctant to let Keith pilot her when Shiro was gone, would Blue ever let anyone in again if anything worse happened to Lance. Lance, his sharpshooter, his friend, his confident, his partner in crime when it came to sleepless nights roaming the halls…

Lance was rushed into a healing pod for the time being, to keep him in cryostasis and to heal as much as it could.

They put Lance next to Haggar; who was apparently Coran’s wife, eons ago, in cryostasis. When her wounds were sufficiently healed Pidge threw her into the airlock for interrogation.

“ Antidote. Now.” Pidge hissed at the Altean witch. Haggar never said a word, she just struggled against her restraints.

“ Start talking or start bleeding, Isasdejo… your druids broke easily, just a couple of shocks from my Bayard and they hummed like baby klanmeurls . They told us everything that they know, but you kept the antidote from them… Coran is so disappointed in you”  Pidge said softly, caressing Haggar’s face, after back handing her cheek. Haggar looked severely distressed and Pidge smiled even as her lips trembled. “ If you don’t start talking soon, I’ll have to switch to some of the less savory methods…. Let’s stick to water techniques, it is Lance, CORAN’S FAVORITE PALADIN, who’s dying of your virus… let’s see, there’s …. The classic waterboarding… even more classic, Chinese drip torture… a tide chamber would work wonderfully. Any thoughts or suggestions sweetheart? “

“I’ll talk! I’ll talk! Get this crazy girl away from me though, Coran! CORAN! COOORRRRRAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!” Haggar screamed and shrieked.  Keith high fived Pidge on his way into the room.

“So about that antidote, what do we need to save Lance? “ Keith said in a low gravelly growl.

Haggar hung her head as she explained the potion to Keith who began to write everything down on his hand with a small blade, he wasn’t actually trying to hurt himself,he just didn’t think anything through and he kinda figured that if he carved into himself in front of Haggar she would be less likely to lie to him, “ pure quintessence, liquid scaultrite, the blood of loved ones, tears of those who hate you… and a kiss. You can’t just swig the potion either; he has to have one spoon full at a time, he must swallow every drop of the last before he can have the next dose… he has to drink the whole thing. Someone has to stay with him and keep his temperature up as he’s taking it, he can’t stop until the bottle is finished”

It took a while to collect the ingredients but in about a week it all came together, minus the blood and kiss. There was a thirty minute debate about whether or not they were close enough to give the blood and Haggar was no help, the bickering continued until Lance fell out of the healing chamber screaming and writhing in agony as his ears stretched to about twice their original size and black marks spread from the deep scars on his cheeks. Shiro dug his cybernetic arm under Lance and stuck out his flesh arm, “Coran, we don’t have time to get blood from his family, we’ll have to do,” Shiro hissed after kissing Lance’s temple,” he’s burning up, hunk, go fill the largest bowl you can find with cold water and ice, pidge, there are cloths we can use as compresses in my room, go get those, Keith, Matt, make sure Haggar doesn’t use the chaos to escape, Allura, infuse the potion with quintessence”

Lance began thrashing around like a fish out of water and screamed in Spanish, loud enough for the whole ship to hear, “ LO SIENTO MADRE, NO PUEDO TOCAR LAS ESTRELLAS PARA TI, ESTOY CAYENDO. AYÚDAME MADRE!”

Everyone’s blood made it into the potion and a spoonful was given to Lance, the results were not what they expected by any means…. His fever dropped drastically, but he started gagging, and his hair was starting to turn white at the roots. Shiro couldn’t help but cry as he helplessly shoved spoonful after spoonful of the concoction into Lance.

The 19 year old was a coughing shivering mess, once again trying to squirm away from the 26 year old.

“ C'mon buddy, just a few more spoonfuls, okay? You can do this, please don’t make me.explain to both your mom and Blue why you aren’t coming back…. Tell you what, if you can get better, we’ll go back home to Earth, we’ll see family, have a fiesta, how does that sound?”  Shiro cooed and pleaded with Lance.  Lance opened his mouth a couple more times before he mumbled out a faint,”Salve María llena de gracia, el Señor es contigo, bendita eres entre las mujeres y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre Jesús. Santa madre de Dios ora por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de la muerte amén” After finishing the prayer he managed to find the strength to open his eyes” Por qué … ¿por qué es tan brillante? Está haciendo que me duela la cabeza. Alguien por favor, apague el sol” Hunk  shifted so he blocked most of the light hitting Lance’s face. “ Muchas Gracias, amigo… waiiittt” Lance moaned bleary swiveling his head unsure of his surroundings now that he had finished the bottle of straight up nastiness” Estoy con los vaqueros del espacio” Hunk snickered at the nickname, Kalteneker was somewhere around the castle, they would have to take a picture with her now, dressed up like cowboys, on top of their Paladin Armour.

“You going to be okay, Lance?  Let’s go ahead and put you to bed, we can go home when you wake up…” As Shiro rose from the floor with Lance in his arms Pidge took polaroid after Polaroid.

When Shiro was about to leave Lance all rolled up in blankets like a burrito, Lance reached out and dragged him into his bed with him

“Stay… please… I’m afraid of not waking up again.”  Shiro nodded and cradled his head. Both he and Lance has been strong enough for the whole team for too long.  

When Lance woke up Shiro was snuggled into his chest, listening to his heart beat  with his flesh hand resting on his collar bone,  double checking Lances pulse. Lance kissed the metal arm he was clinging to for dear life. “ Thank you, I thought for a while that the safety I feel around you was the dream, and I was going to wake up alone at any moment”

Matt shoved his head through the door,” yo, lovers! I mean, losers! Wait, no I don't… nevermind… listen, we have to try to explain​ what happened to the Garrison before we can ​go anywhere..”

Before they entered Earth’s atmosphere, Keith tried to take a moment with Lance, “ Hey, if you ever need to talk about, well lineage, I guess..  I’m here for you… if you need to talk”  Lance started to almost panic. “ Keith I get what you are trying to do, I really do. But we come from different backgrounds, you knew for a while that your mom, who you hardly knew, was Galra. Your dad explicitly said that your mom was ‘ simply out of this world’ where else could you take that, especially after finding out that you’re Galra?! I knew every aspect of my family, not one of them has done or said anything remotely Altean… for all I know I could be adopted… all I know for sure now is that my life so far has been a lie. I don’t even know if any of my siblings are my real siblings, or my parents”  Lance fell to his knees and sobbed unconsolably for 20 minutes. He stopped when they landed in the Garrison launch pad.

Once the awkward, “ yes, we fly giant space lions and ended an intergalactic war that’s been going on for the past 10,000 years without you having a clue.” Speech was concluded, there was a brief momentary address to the president, lead by  Lance.” Mr President, we have seen the worst there is in space, I nearly died about three times in the span of a week, and so, I have lost all sense of censorship or formalities and I’ve come to say this to you, right here, right now…. fuck you, you egotistical dickwad” the president hung up the video call, remembering that the whole conversation was televised. Lance dabbed. “ I’ve been wanting to say that ever since he got elected, no sexist racist pig is going to live and not get an earful from me!” , Lance somehow managed to say between giggles and high fiving Pidge.

Eventually ​they made their way to Lance’s home in the pampas, Lance sitting in the backseat, teaching coran and allura the lyrics to don’t cry for me Argentina, grabbing a desert Rose on the way.

“ I’M HOME!” Lance called out. Hunk dragged everyone about six steps back as a swarm of young kids enveloped him. Hunk did a headcount  and  paled, “ shit! They shipped in the extended family! Everybody back!”  then Lance was bombarded with aunts and uncles and sisters and brothers and cousins. The assembly completely blocked the door until his mother walked through the parting crowd.” Mi precioso hijo, qué te han hecho … nunca debiste haber ido a ese maldito lugar, oré por ti todos los días … ¿sentías mis oraciones?”   Hunk fawned over the stocky woman’s words from a distance, Lance teared up when she placed her hands on his face, fingers in his mostly white hair with brown tips, and thumbs over his  scars. “ Sí Mamá, sentí tus oraciones, me salvaron la vida mientras estaba tocando una estrella para ti mamá. Y mira, por todos mis problemas, la estrella me tocó de nuevo. Ja, ja, tengo amigos ahora mama. Conoces a Hunk y Pidge, conoce a Shiro, Keith, Matt, Sam, Cora-”  Lance’s mom interupts his introductions by throwing her arms around Allura and Coran. The real shocker came when she began to shift form.

She had much darker skin, long flowing blue hair, and was incredibly tall.

“ Mum, you were here on Earth this whole time? I thought you died on Altea,  decaphebes ago… wait, you came here to earth and joined a new family, did you ever think about us?”, Allura asked hurt by her eyes which betrayed her, spilling tears she never meant anyone else to see.

“ Oh, darling… I thought about you every day, I had to start this family to keep myself and  Akatanine alive here on Earth, we lived with her human mate and child for a while, until the government came around looking for us. We had to leave them, she was crushed. Then, I met Antonio and he really helped me get over the loss of Altea, and Akatanine’s family and sanity. I never once stopped thinking about you, your father was a fool, prompting fighting between Zarkhan and Dossantos. It cost us all so many dear friends… “ a face appeared in the attic window, the Asian-hispanic woman looked like she had just been woken from a cat nap by all the commotion.  Lance tapped his mother on the shoulder and took Allura by the arm to face her,

“ ¡Espera … quieres decirme que he coqueteado con mi hermanastra! ¿Quién es este Akatanine? Es que Rosita Flora Pequeña? La loca borracha que vive en el ático? ¡Quién salta por la ventana, Dios mío!”  Lance screamed as Rosita jumped out of the window and stuck the superhero landing, turning purple and furry as she ran to embrace Keith. “ You know what, now all the drinking and the crying and the babbling at small purple things makes sense”, Pidge mumbled as Akatanine nuzzled her face into Keith’s  hair. Poor Keith was stunned, the half Galra teen couldn’t move a muscle.

“ Mother used ‘cuddle’. It was effective.”, Shiro snickered.

Lance walked into ​the house with his family and almost screamed again seeing all the prayer candles lit in the living room/ common bedroom. Each candle had either Jesus, Guardian Angels, or the Virgin Mother; as well as Lance’s name and picture taped to them. Shiro smiled when he looked at some of the low, lit candles. The ones his mother had lit all had different baby pictures.

Lance only now got a good look at whom he had thought his mother was. Her long light blue hair reached her back, her skin was about three shades darker than normal, and her arms legs and cheeks were more defined and adorned by dark blue marks, much like his were adorned by black and white marks.” Let’s see, hunk is clearly Yellow’s new Paladin, Green must have chosen  Miss Pidge over there, cuddly over there looks like a red Paladin, tall, strong and posterboy must be the leader here… and my lance doesn’t belong to any of them but Blue… How accurate am I, spot on, right? I was the Blue Paladin first, so I know our ladies fairly well!”, Lance and Allura’s mom elbowed Shiro in the ribs lightly.

“Actually we kinda switched up after Shiro disappeared, I was the Black Paladin for a time and lance piloted Red for me and Allura took Blue on the rare occasion we needed her to form Voltron.”, Keith spoke up from the swarm of Lance’s sisters and occasional brother who were all cuddling him,” It was kind of scary, his bayard went from a gun to a huge battle axe, we had no idea how calculated his every move was until he abandoned that to be the impulsive instinctual Paladin Red needs.” Mama looked like she was about to cry,” That was a mistake, Allura should have taken Red, Blue Takes the most empathetic and strategic Paladin… That’s what kept Lance in America while all of us were deported.. He was a strategic genius.”

“Well he was really brash when we got here, too! He even told off the president on live television. See,” Pidge sat in front of Mama and opened the video

“    Mr President, we have seen the worst there is in space, I nearly died about three times in the span of a week, and so, I have lost all sense of censorship or formalities and I’ve come to say this to you, right here, right now…. fuck you, you egotistical dickwad” the president hung up the video call, remembering that the whole conversation was televised. Lance dabbed.     ‘ mmmm whatchasaaaayy’ played behind Lance’s smile as someone dropped the deal with it shades on his smirking face”  Mama’s hand rose and was promptly filled with a flip-flop from one of Lance’s brothers. “ Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggh, la chancla !!!!!!!!!” Lance yelled as he ran to the far side of the house, the rest of the family, including the Paladins almost died laughing.

Marina; Lance’s older sister, who had perpetually red hair, due to being full Altean, as it was later revealed, felt it was necessary to embarrass her brother further and took a large cardboard box full of junk by the couch, his full length Kerberos Mission™ poster strategically placed so that Shiro’s face encircled with red lipstick was visible to the pilots on the couch.

“Hey, guys, I’m burning Trash,  anything you want to get rid of?”

Lance lunged for the poster, knocking it into Shiro’s hands.” Not that, Space Baby.” Lance deadpanned. Shiro unfurled the long glossy paper, careful to not smudge the lipstick that formed a heart around his face.

“ I forgot that the Garrison made these! Oh God, this is adorable… is it okay if i keep this?”, Shiro asked in between chuckles,” So… lance, ummm, there’s a feminism march going on tomorrow at the capitol building, I was going to… ask… You to uhhh… maybe… iffff yoouu wantedtoo maybe? Hopefully? “, Shiro covered his eyes, he was struggling with one of the easiest things in the world” GOOUTWITHMETOIT,LIKEONADATE! dear god that was a disaster.” there are no words in the room. Shiro, fearless leader, just got so flustered he almost screwed up asking out lance… oh yeah and he just asked out lance! “Sure, why not?” lance chirped nonchalantly, trying to hide the circles his head was running in.

Oh, my God. the whole thing was a glorious disaster. Shiro had  painted white streaks everywhere Lance had black and white streaks.  Lance had his mother and his sister hoisted onto his shoulders, Shiro supported Pidge and Allura as they stood in the palms of his hands, the show off. Everyone in the rally aside from the Paladins and family wore blue shirts, sweaters, binders , and sports bras with the caption “ Fuck you, you egotistical dickwad”  inscribed in black curly letters. Lance wore a black “I’m with the gay space ranger “  crop top showing off every dash of sharp contrast on his skin. Shiro wore a blue, get this, mesh tank… remember the 90’s? Now you do. With “ I kissed a hero”  hand embroidered onto it; Keith suspected Galra arm use.  Pidge wore a “ Kick Ass, Go to Space, Piss People Off Because I’m Aro/Ace” sweatshirt, it’s freezing out here, dammit, Lance. Keith rode piggyback on Hunk, not cuz he’s gay or anything though, no, no ,no, it’s just… his legs are too short, there it’s been said… he wears an unironic “ I want to believe “ shirt. Hunk is wearing a cute red Magic School Bus tank top, that came right out of his closet. Sophia wore a Carrie Fisher tee shirt and Marina wore a “  Don’t Make me overthrow the feudal system that you call government” dress.  Allura wore a dress that Lance had knitted for her all in one night and looked like she could snap a man in half and they would thank her. Coran wore a denim jacket with “space uncle” and a moustache on it’s back. “

“And that is how the most favorable outcome of this situation plays out”, Slav says as he closes the hologram projection of the best possible reality. “ I cuss out the president…”  Lance said with a worrying amount of glee.  “ Dude, you almost die, like three times in the best scenario… that doesn’t phase you?” Keith probes, quite concerned. “ Nah, I almost die every time I walk out of my bedroom… that stopped phasing me after I got blown up… I’ve accepted the fact that not even death wants me… but that asshole deported my family before the Kerberos mission… I’d love to cuss him out! I actually have been plotting with Shiro and Matt so things might work out in our favor if we stick to the script… C'mon buddy, let’s go train so I can be a badass.” Keith wouldn’t tell anyone just how terrified he was… of seeing Shiro in the blue mesh tank again.

Everyone has Merle & Magnus knitting headcanons, but what about Taako knitting? Like I know everyone and their grandma has 1000000 Taako headcanons but listen:

-ties in with another headcanon, I forgot who posted it where, but it was like “Taako is lowkey devout to Istus” and that’s the truest damn thing I ever read

-Taako who’s never been sure of anything, never had any stability in his life, never understood the structure of organized religion, never understood the faith you need to have in a celestial being to Truly Believe that they’ll look out for you

-Taako “trust issues” Taaco meets Istus, who doesn’t ask for worship or even complete trust in her, who only asks that the boys keep doing what they always do, keep being themselves. Istus who believes in THEM, without asking, without testing, Istus who seems like she loves them even if they get it wrong

-Taako meets Istus and feels like maybe, just maybe, it might be ok to trust someone a little. Still doesn’t buy into organized religion, sure as HELL isnt dual classing Cleric and fucking up his Wizardly Skillz, but maybe wants to keep in better touch with Cool Fate Mom

-Taako, who’s always been a weird fashion guy anyway and has the perfect cover of DIY accessories to keep Merle & Mags out of his business, learning to knit as a form of meditation, of secret prayer

-Taako gradually amassing an alarming amount of mismatched socks, each with little sigils and secrets and wishes hidden in the pattern, and hoarding most of them to himself, but giving a couple to THB and Angus and Team Sweet Flips in the hopes it’ll help keep them safe

-Taako finding ways to trust his friends through trusting Istus

2

Finally got around to taking a picture! It took me just over two months to knit and I’m so happy with it. 💜 It’s a little under two metres wide, so it gives you a proper wingspan when you wear it.

This wonderful pattern is by Tania Richter and it’s called Winged Triangle Shawl, from Vogue Knitting Fall 2015. I used Debbie Bliss Cashmerino (the recommended yarn is too pricy for me to get hold of in the uk) and it’s so soft and snuggly!

Thanks for the great pattern @aetherdragon!

ID #44567

Name: Ali
Age: 17
Country: United States

Hi everyone, I’m Ali. I’m a 17 year old girl from the United States (on the internet people often think I’m a Middle Eastern male because of how my first name is spelled but it’s short for Alison). My biggest interests are probably science and politics, and discussing ideas from those areas and others outside of that.

So about me: I’m kind of super lame. My mom thinks I’m cool (okay even she doesn’t really…) Some of my hobbies include dancing, writing, knitting, reading, watching too much Netflix, and learning new things. (I’m really pretty nerdy.) Parks and Rec is probably my favorite show. In terms of books I read a lot; some favorites are All the Light We Cannot See, Brave New World, The Great Gatsby, The Night Circus, also anything Malcolm Gladwell has touched. I’m not all that picky. :) In terms of music, I mostly listen to alternative (despite having no clue what that means). Some of my recent faves are Bastille and the Lumineers.

I want a pen pal because I think it would be really cool to get to know a person through writing; it seems like a fun way to meet someone. We can talk about anything: who we are as people, things that happen to us, things we like, opinions, etc. I’m really open-minded, so I’m fine with and would actually be interested in discussing big issues or questions just to get a new perspective (thoughts on religion, politics, favorite color, etc.) We can start with emailing it that makes you feel more comfortable, but eventually I’d love to move into sending snail mail and even small packages/gifts (if you ever need a scarf, for example, I’m super good at knitting long rectangles)

Preferences: -Someone my age, 16-19. Gender doesn’t matter
-Preferably English-speaking, I know some Spanish but want a pen pal for talking to, not language learning.
-It would be nice if we had some interests in common, particularly if you’re a big reader/learner.

So I visited my great grandmother today, and discussed knitting. She taught me the basics of knitting months ago, and today I had a finished project to show her.
This led to a discussion about the person who taught her to knit, and the fact that she “knit weird”. Apparently, my maternal great great grandmother was a practitioner of traditional Portuguese knitting. Most knitting- continental, American, Russian, Japanese- pulls yarn from the BACK of the work. Portuguese loops yarn around the neck, and pulls it from the front of the work. This means that unlike both continental and American style, purling is ridiculously easy- in fact, garter stitch pieces are worked entirely in purls, because purling is simply a thumb flick of the yarn.
My great grandmother went and dug out my great great grandmother’s favorite knitting needles for me- a personalized set of five wooden double pointed needles, that she carved notches into so that she could catch the yarn more easily. It was… interesting, holding knitting needles that are over a hundred years old. My great grandmother never mastered DPNs, and never liked them.
I’m rambling a bit, but the point I’m getting to is that-

I’m now determined to learn Portuguese knitting, so expect some weird posts about it.

anonymous asked:

Max uses his great knitting skills to knit a sweater for David. The plottwist is he plants lice inside the sweater.

Yes! I love this, and we all know that David would wear it anyway

Baby, You’re Beautiful

Member: Jun
Genre: angst / fluff ending
Word count: 2,879


“Oh, come on…!” you whined as you dragged your brush through your hair. But alas, the stubborn strands only remained frizzy, if not worse. Why couldn’t your hair be straight and slick, just like a model’s? Or luxurious with thick waves? But no, the static was strong with you.

Figures.

After battling with your mane, you managed to pull it back and give a angry huff. The day had barely just started, and yet you could tell there was a going be a boat load of problems. “Why can’t things just go my way for once???” you cried out, though there was no one to hear you. You were glad for these times; you could cry and complain as much as you wanted without bothering anybody or making yourself feel like a fool.

You pulled yourself off your bed and dragged your feet into the bathroom. The light was blinding when you turned it on, making you squint as you went to the sink and stared hard into the mirror. Your lips immediately formed a grimace and you quickly looked away as you grabbed your toothbrush. The familiar thought of getting rid of the mirror occurred to you again, and this time you were ready to smash it with every ounce of strength you possess. It wouldn’t help with any of your problems, but at least you wouldn’t have to be reminded of them as often.

You brushed your teeth, good and hard, and hoped that the ferocious scrubbing could make you feel clean on the outside as well. But, and you knew this very well, that could never happen. It was just impossible, and the idea made you sick. You secretly wished some miracle could happen overnight, but you knew that would not happen either. As you spit into the sink, you couldn’t help from scowling.

I’m ugly.

The words echoed loudly through your head. You wanted to bash your head against something or simply crawl back into bed, but neither of those would work. You knew your problem couldn’t be fixed. It just couldn’t.

Keep reading

Eton’s Scarf

After knitting many scarves, sweaters, and wristwarmers, I have a collection of teeny half skeins lying around. I’ve decided to use up my scrap yarn to make an awesome gradient scarf based on a simple pattern that really lets the yarn shine.  Hope you like it :)

Materials

Yarn: Variety of worsted weight wool, alpaca, and mixed yarns

Needles: Size 6 (4mm)

Dimensions: Approximately 6 inches wide.  Recommended length: 5 feet.

Pattern

Cast on 32 stitches. You can make the scarf narrower/wider by using another number that is divisible by 4.

Slip the first stitch of every row.  Slip knitwise if it’s a knit stitch and slip purlwise if it’s a purl stitch.

Rows 1-4: (K2, P2) – repeat til end of row.

Rows 5-6: (P2, K2) – repeat til end of row.

Rows 7-8: (K2, P2) - repeat til end of row.

Rows 9-10: (P2, K2) - repeat til end of row.

Repeat rows 7-8 and 9-10 until happy with length of scarf.

At end of scarf, add 4 rows of Rows 7-8 to create a ribbed pattern to match the beginning of the scarf.

Notes

Knit fabric tends to stretch a little after washing.  Depending on your yarn, it can stretch a couple of inches to several inches.  Please keep this in mind when determining the length you knit!

When starting a new color, replace first row of pattern with all knit stitches to create nice seam between colors.

Pretty simple, eh? It makes for some great train knitting while listening to music or podcasts.

Staten Island

A/N: This takes place after the Staten Island Ferry incident in Spider-Man: Homecoming when Tony takes the Spiderman suit away from Peter.


“Pepper!” Tony calls out as he entered the house, the Iron Man suit flying off his limbs. He drops the Spiderman suit unto the counter then pours himself a strong drink.

Pepper emerges with her reading glasses on the bridge of her nose, a thick file in one hand and a red pen in the other. “I’ve had the day from hell.” Tony says.

“What was that?” She asked, her eyes still on the page of the document that she is reading, clearly distracted.

“I said that I met this really hot blonde and I’m going to take her upstairs and show her my Iron Rod.”

“That’s nice, babe. Just make sure you wear protection.” She replies leaning on the counter and jotting some notes in the margin of the document.

“Pepper.” Tony says. When she doesn’t look up, he walks over to her and pulls the document away from her and towards him, replacing it with the drink he made.

“Tony.” She begins to protest.

“We agreed you wouldn’t bring your work home.”

“Says the man known for—.”

Tony interrupts. “Pepper I’m trying to communicate with you this is what couples in a healthy relationship do, they communicate and ask about each other’s day.”

“How was your day?” She asked. Taking a sip of the drink then pushing it towards Tony, who pushes the Spider-Man suit towards her. She picks up the suit. “Tony. What did you do?”

“He wasn’t ready.” Tony exhales taking a long gulp of the drink, placing the empty glass between them and relaying the conversation he had with Peter.

“You might’ve been a little hard on him.”

“Tough love.” Like my Dad did with me.

“He’s not you, Tony.”

“He wants to be like me.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“He should be better than me.”

“Why? Because that’s what your father would’ve said?”

Tony walks out of the kitchen, Pepper close behind. He sits on the sofa and she sits next to him with her feet curled beneath her.

“If my father was alive today and he saw all of this,” he gestured to to the house. “and all that I’ve done, do you think he would’ve said "great job, son? No, he would’ve found a fault, an error, something minuscule that I might’ve missed or didn’t do and he would made it into this big thing.”

Pepper turns his head towards her and stares softly into his eyes. “Tony, Peter is not you and you are not your father. Peter looks up to you, so mentor him and from what you have told me, it’s just him and his aunt, he needs your guidance.”

“I’m not a role model, I’m too fucked up to be someone….” He trails off

“Now you’re being harsh, where is all of this coming from?” She asked.

“Pep, he could’ve died…and that would’ve been on me.”

Pepper brushes his facial hair. “But he didn’t. Tony, you can’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I think I’m turning into my old man and it scares me. I’ve done everything not to end up like him and…”He pauses. “I told Peter things that my old man would say to me.” He laughs. “I spent my entire laugh running away from the man that he was.”

“I know for a fact Tony that you would be a better father than what your old man was to you.”

Tony turns to her, “How?”

She smiled. “I just know.”

They exchange a look, “You’re pregnant.”

Pepper scoffs, “What? No.”

Tony stands, “Then what was that about, knowing for a fact that I would be a better father than my old man?”

“It is not a lie. You are a great man, Tony.”

Tony knits his eyebrows. “When was your last period?”

“Oh my God, Tony. I just drank some scotch. I am not pregnant.”


*Permanent Tag List: @melconnor2007 @iamwarrenspeace

*Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the permanent tag list.

youtube

Oh my god I can finally share this- my comic was dubbed and animated! This was the most ridiculous thing ever and it makes me laugh every time I see it. Thank you so much guys for doing such a great job!

Voices by Knitting Giant Beanies

Animation by Piemations

Whole dang thing set up by PaperBoxHouse

Original Comic here

How to Knit Your Own UT Sweater: a Tutorial (MASTERPOST)

Hiiii guys! Don’t know if any of you know this (LOL as if, like I haven’t spammed this shit enough, right??) but I made a knitting tutorial awhile back! This tutorial is specifically tailored (lol) for knitting sweaters, great for fun or cosplay or whatever! I originally wrote this with Undertale cosplays in mind, but I mean. It’s a sweater. It can be for anything! (And I mean, I only use the determination joke, like, once.)

Both are my finished products from this tutorial - along with more testimonials a bit further down!


~*~ The Tutorial ~*~

Part 1 (Materials)

Part 2 (Sizing and Planning)

Part 3 (Starting the Body)

Part 4 (Bulk of the Body)

Part 5 (Shaping the Back)

Part 6 (Rinse and Repeat)

Part 7 (Shaping the Front)

Part 8 (The Neckhole)

Part 9 (The Sleeves and Stuff)

Part 10 (The Part Where You Sew and Don’t Knit)


Testimonials!

blueviolinist’s Asriel sweater!

onebizarrekai’s Chara sweater!

stiechen’s sweater!

maybe more idk i’m bad at tagging haha. i’m so sorry