grease-musical

Summaries of Musicals
  • The Phantom of the Opera:I am ugly and i kill people but I sing good why will no one love me
  • Into the Woods:Oh you thought you liked fairy tales did you
  • West Side Story:Snapping is intimidating trust me
  • Cats:Cats
  • How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying:Lying and cheating your way to financial success is a good thing as long as the show is a comedy
  • Wicked:Didn't Kermit already sing a song about this
  • Les Miserables:I'm not crying you're crying also France
  • Grease:Yes there was a play before the movie
  • Once:Why are these irish accents so beautiful
  • Urinetown:Words cannot describe
The best parts of Grease (1978)
  • The fact that every single actor is clearly 20 years older than their character
  • The opening is animated for almost no reason
  • The one boy sitting in the girls’ section during “Summer Nights” just… daydreaming… staring off into space. I don’t think he even knows there’s a musical number going on
  • Patty calls herself a clod
  • If you pause the end of “Summer Nights” in the right place Sandy’s face is right in the middle of a pole
  • Sandy pukes when she sees blood??? what does she do during her period??
  • Danny’s face creepily showing up in the pool during “Hopelessly Devoted to You”
  • The people who work in the car shop just kinda staring awkwardly at the Greasers during “Greased Lightning” like they have no idea wtf they’re doing
  • The entirety of “Beauty School Dropout”
  • One of the boys spikes the punch and when questioned says he was washing his hands in it
  • THE FRIGGIN FBI WAS CALLED IN TO FIND OUT WHO WAS MOONING THE CAMERA LIKE HOW MUCH FREETIME DID THEY THINK THE FBI HAD IN THE 50s?
  • Rizzo trusts Marty to keep a secret like you’ve known this woman since Kindergarten did you seriously think she’d keep her mouth shut
  • siN WAGON
  • Danny sings about how Sandy rejected him as if she didn’t have valid reason
  • The car race that comes almost out of nowhere but at least it’s better than the musical which had literally no payoff for Greased Lightning at all
  • Sandy decides to become a Greaser kinda just because
  • Rizzo and Kenickie screwed around at the beginning of the school year but she didn’t realize she wasn’t pregnant until the last day like did she just assume baby bumps weren’t a thing?? Did she think gestation was nine years instead of nine months???? How the hell did this timeline work?? Did they have any sex ed in the 50s?
  • i got chILLS
  • THEY’RE MULTIPLYING
  • AND I’M LOOOOOOOSING CONTROL
  • They only start to wonder wtf they’re doing after graduation at the fair celebrating graduation
  • If you listen at the end of “We Go Together” you can hear the Chipmunks singing
  • THE FUCKING FLYING CAR WAS THAT EVER EXPLAINED
  • The fact that High School Musical was originally going to be a second-generation sequel to this
I feel so bad for my future children because it's constantly going to be like
  • Me when my kid is crying:Don’t cry for me, Argentinaaaaaaaaaaa….
  • Me when my kids are helping me clean:IT’S THE HARD KNOCK LIFE FOR US
  • Me eating breakfast with my kids:The other one’s still the toast of the town ‘cause he made butter outta cream…
  • Me playing hide and go seek with my kids:SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME, LOOOOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY!!
  • Me waking my kids up in the morning:Maybe we can frighten away the ghost of so many years with a little ILLUMINATION *flicks on lights*
  • Me when my kid has a crush:SHE’S IN LOOOOOOVEEEEEEE, SHE’S IN LOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
  • Me when my kid tries to run away:THEREEEEE, OUT IN THE DARKNESSSSSS… A FUGITIVE RUNNINGGGG…
  • Me giving my kids advice:If you only follow your heart…
  • Me when my kid gets their first boyfriend/girlfriend:OMIGOD OMIGOD YOU GUYS
  • Me when my kids are mad at me:TAKE ME BAAAABBBYYYYYYY, OR LEAVE MEEEEEEEE
  • Me giving my kids ‘the talk’:Once there was a night, beneath a moonless sky…
  • Me when my kids start driving:GOOOOOO GREASE LIGHTNING YOU BURNING UP THE QUARTER MILEEEEEEE
  • Me when my kids go off to college:Empty chairs and empty tables, where my friends will meet no more…