*Gray Hat, waking up at three AM to a shadowy figure standing besides his bed*

Gray Hat: Nope.
Black Hat: But I haven’t even-
Gray Hat: No.
Black Hat: What if I-
Gray Hat: What would White say if you asked him?
Black Hat: …
Black Hat: No. 
Gray Hat: There’s your answer

y’know there’s an awful lot of talk about the shared experience that was the animorphs series and how it sticks with you, but nobody else ever talks about the greatest plague on my mind for years afterwards

instinctively saying “nice is neat” instead of “nine inch nails”

skullgirls blogs
  • beowulf: humor blog. does nothing but liveblog wrestling and reblog shitty repost +xnotes blogs. lots of 9gag. doesn't understand tags.
  • big band: blank blog. justice does not have time to post minutae. he has an account but it's just to keep an eye on peacock (he sends Very Stern messages when she gets into internet fights).
  • cerebella: business & personal blog. shameless selfpromotion, lots of talk about the cirque. also, every single one of beowulf's selfies, even the ones he accidentally posts of his feet. tags cirque stuff only.
  • double: a pornbot. every single pornbot on the site.
  • eliza: mostly an ~ancient egyptian~ aesthetic blog. plus signal boosts for her charity fronts, and every variation of money cat. no tags ever.
  • filia: aesthetic blog. photos of kittens, the ocean, and her starbucks orders. has an ungodly number of followers. reblogs everything that carol posts and gets her weird bursts of notes. tags for visibility.
  • marie: social justice blog. lots of resources but also personal ventposts and some frilly fashion photosets. tags painstakingly for triggers.
  • ms. fortune: humor blog. cats!!! memes, vines, shitposts, and puns. frontpage has autoplay of the dancing cat song. tags her own posts but nothing else.
  • painwheel: horror blog. mostly classic movie gifs, some meta. reblogs pun posts with "NO!!!". tags series but no warnings.
  • parasoul: business blog. advertising posts for new black egrets events. occasional annie of the stars meta. tags everything except for the aforementioned meta so that nobody can find it.
  • peacock: cartoon nostalgia blog. the source of the worst animaniacs gifs on the web. all assets are .jpg intentionally, or if .gif then they have more artifacts than indiana jones. tags are for the weak.
  • squigly: music blog. lots of phantom of the opera photosets and meta. the pizza rolls gif is autoreblog. tags everything meticulously.
  • valentine: nobody fucking knows. is it an antisjw blog? is it an artistic gorethemed visual blog? nothing is tagged and everything hurts.
  • clone high voice: way, way
  • bojack voice: back in the nineties
  • clone high voice: secret government employees, dug up famous guys and ladies
  • bojack voice: don't act like yoooou don't knoooow

holy shit, i figured out why i hate whedon. okay, bear with me,

he’s fine when it comes to writing his ocs, cause those are his, you can’t really give concrit

and when it comes to other people’s characters, he’s good at voice and making a character SOUND like themselves!! he’s good at banter and making exchanges fast and fun, he’s good at action scenes and choreography and keeping things exciting

BUT he’s terrible at personality analysis, his character development arcs are confusing at best, he shoves his ooc pairings in everyone’s faces, and talks bad about everyone else working with him


joss whedon is a bad rper

stalinistqueens  asked:

Do you have any thoughts on a Steven Universe pirate au?

i assume you mean au where they all organically become pirates instead of steven deciding that the first saturday of every month is Act Like A Pirate Day thus accidentally initiating the most epic larp connie has ever been invited to??? okay, cool. let’s do this.

  • first and foremost: please picture garnet with two eyepatches. just casually wearing both all day long and flipping up one at a time to stare someone down if they backsass her. she’s the new captain since cpt. quartz died in childbirth and even though she’s a softie everyone is terrified.
  • pearl was quartz’s first mate and has stuck by that position, though these days it’s mostly managing the navigation and also delegation because garnet is not very handson. she’s the expert swordfighter obviously and tries to tutor the rest of the crew on boarding tactics so that they don’t just flop on deck waving blades around. they do anyway.
  • steven is the cabin boy but everyone except him knows that he’s in training to take over the ship, because it’s his inheritance. 
  • the rest of the crew has slowly accumulated since steven came of age: lars and sadie work stock and rations, the cool kids are all runaway sabreslingers, connie comes on as a deckhand but Dreams Of More.
  • in this instance homeworld is the british empire, so garnet makes sure that they only raid ships flying an empirical flag. they do the typical non hollywood pirate thing of raiding for supplies and nothing else; and treasure they accumulated is just stuff that quartz confiscated from ships that were hoarding shit.
  • greg is a hermit fisherman on the island that they use as a main base, and he doesn’t participate in anything, but he’s always there to talk when steven gets tired of the big blue and wants to just relax and chat about how weird his life is.
  • lion is an albino golden lion tamarin that they found while hitting up south american forts.
  • if this IS just a great big larp, then amethyst swaps between being The Parrot or The Monkey or yes, when she gets steven to read peter pan, The Crocodile. pearl’s character has no charisma and stacked agility. garnet is exactly the same.

so tonight was the badfic panel and at first i was all “man, last year a dude dressed as the stig literally somersaulted out of the crowd to read a shitty harry potter crossover for us, how are we ever gonna beat that”

but then we announced that the next reading was from same love lockdown, and somebody in the audience confessed that the epic tale of macklemore and kanye’s romance was their doing

i had the boyfriend read chapter seven. after he read out “don’t get butthurt if you get memed on!” the entire room gave a standing ovation. 

my favorite con moments are those ones that, when i look back on them (as a writer and lover of obnoxious, bizarre, overly coincidental campy bullshit), and think “i would not have scripted that any other way.”

thank you, yourheadcanon. you have truly given us a gift that keeps on giving.

that’s it, that’s the ship.

  • comics fans last week: haha well marvel might be a bit of a mess but at least it's better than what dc's got going on right now
  • comics fans this week: jesus tittyfucking chrIST

seriously though what the actual fuck is wrong with people who hate on steven universe for being ~too positive~

oh wait, i know

#gravity falls spoilers

some things i noticed over my watches of the last mabelcorn:

  • ford’s mind has the swings intact, but the boat is wrecked (in dreamscapers, stan has the swings but they’re broken down).
  • dipper’s thoughts include such gems as “i could probably rob a bank” and “i miss tyrone”.
  • among mabel’s todo list of good deeds is “dismantle electoral college”. it’s crossed out.
  • the tune the faun toots out when the girls grab him is morse code; SOS.
  • the binary onscreen in the lab is infact a code, but it’s code for another code and my eyes are getting tired so i’m gonna let the fandom figure it out.
  • me: i should go to sleep early like a responsible adult.
  • friend: sure, but have you considered: this new au idea?
  • me: fuck...
  • sun: hey guess what?? i'm up now.
  • sun: cause it's like 8am motherfucker.
  • me: fffffffuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

i want to know what the target audience is for this item. is it college boys who like frozen? is it little girls who like beer?? 

most importantly why does it say that love thaws everything if you want to keep your drinks cold???

tunabing replied to your post: okay most of you probably do not know …

why did your mother have a pet monkey


okay so it was mother’s day, right? and my good ol’ uncle mark, he stayed at work at the local newspaper editing (and then going to a bar with some coworkers) like a good journalist. so on his way home, he realizes that he needs to get a gift for my grandmother, right around when he walks past a pet store. and he sees this monkey, and i was not personally there but i am pretty sure that he was thinking “at least none of my six other siblings will have gotten her this” (also remember that he was drunk). 

and he brings home a spider monkey, as a mother’s day gift.

at least none of his six other siblings had gotten her that.