gray-ace

Books with Asexual Main Characters

Hello! Your local mod here. A few months ago, I spent a lot of time researching books with asexual main characters and made a list of YA books with explicit rep. While making the list, I found lots of books that didn’t fit my requirements and had lots of requests to know what other books I found. I linked people to sources I used, but none 100% matched and there are at least four books that could be added. So I wanted something that had a wide range, could be updated, and could be shared easily. Hence, even though it doesn’t fully fit this blog, it’s going here!

This is a list of books in all age ranges. Some of the books have explicit representation - using the words or giving the definition without using the word - and some don’t. Some of them could be considered problematic. If you want more details on any of the books, feel free to message me privately. I’ll also be linking to the goodreads page for each book [links tk], so you can check reviews for feedback (it can be tricky, but see what shelves people add it too). I’ll also link my sources at the end of this post in case they update with things I don’t catch or they have details I didn’t include. And, as a final note, sometimes the asexual main characters aren’t main characters until later in a book series. In those cases, I’ll link to the first book and leave a note about which book has the main character.

YA Books

This Song is (Not) for You by Laura Nowlin

Fourth World by Lyssa Chiravari

From Under the Mountain by Cait Spivey

Ultraviolet by R.J. Anderson (Ace character is a side character in book one, main character in sequel)

Sabriel by Garth Nix (Ace MC in Clariel)

Seven Ways We Lie by Riley Redgate

Deadly Sweet Lies by Erica Cameron

Taken by Chance by Erica Cameron and Lani Woodland (Demisexual side character, confirmed in book 3, MC in book 4)

The Beast of Callaire by Saruuh Kelsey

The Second Mango by Shira Glassman

We Awaken by Calista Lynne

Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld

The Clinic by Charlie Care

After I Wake by Emma Griffiths

Stranger by Rachel Manija Brown and Sherwood Smith


New Adult Books

All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher

The Life and Death of Eli and Jay by Francis Gideon

How Not to Summon Your True Love by Sasha L. Miller

Carrie Pilby by Caren Lissner

Crush by Caitlin Ricci

Endless Days of Summer by Stacy O’Steen

The Foxhole Court by Nora Sakavic

Coffee Cake by Michaela Grey


Adult Books

The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon

The Sheepfarmer’s Daughter by Elizabeth Moon

Dreams of Shreds and Tatters by Amanda Downum

The Oathbound by Mercedes Lackey

Banner of the Damned by Sherwood Smith

How to Be a Normal Person by TJ Klune

Rescuing Jack by Caitlin Ricci (Asexual MC in sequel, Of Monsters and Men)

Torque by Charley Descoteaux

Blue Steel Chain by Alex Beecroft

Blood and Clockwork by Katey Hawthorne

Breakfire’s Glass by A.M. Valenza

Flesh and Fire by Laura Ann Gilman

The Heart of Aces (anthology)

The Bone People by Keri Hulme

City of Soldiers by Sam Burke

Sere From the Green by Lauren Jankowski

Sinners by Eka Waterfield

Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver

Mindtouch by M.C.A. Hogarth

The Pardoner’s Tale by Morgan Ferdinand

Dragonoak by Sam Farren

Dust by Elizabeth Bear

A Date with Angel by J. Judkins

The Mystic Marriage by Heather Rose Jones

The Deadly Nightshade by Justine Ashford

More Than Enough by T.T. Kove

Shock and Awe by Abigail Roux (Demisexual MC comes out in book 3, Part and Parcel)


Novellas

As Autumn Leaves by Kate Sands

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

To Terminator With Love by Wes Kennedy

Ely, Jesse, and Robin’s Guide to Asexuality by R.J. Seeley

The Asexual Equation by R.J. Seeley

Cold Ennaline by R.J. Astruc

The Alpha and His Ace by Ana J. Phoenix

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz

The Faerie Godmother’s Apprentice Wore Green by Nicky Kyle

At the Edge by Alden Lila Reedy

We Go Forward by Alison Evans

Sing to Me by Becca Lusher

High and Tight by Vanessa North


Upcoming YA Books

27 Hours by Tristina Wright

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Kathryn Ormsbee

Daughter of the Burning City by Amanda Foody

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Assassins: Discord by Erica Cameron (Ace MC in book 2)

Interface by Lucy Mihajlich

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman (released already in the UK)

Running with the Pack by A.M. Burns and Caitlin Ricci


Upcoming New Adult Books

Overexposed by Megan Erickson

Daybreak Rising by Kiran Olivera


Upcoming Adult Books

Hello World by Tiffany Rose and Alex Tauber


Resources

https://lgbtqreads.com/

https://justloveromance.wordpress.com

http://fuckyeahasexual.tumblr.com/post/140769292653/actually-asexual-in-fiction-30-i-get-a-lot-of

http://aroaessidhe.tumblr.com/aroacebooks

https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/96867.Books_With_Asexual_Spectrum_F_F_Romances

As I said, this will be a continuously updated list. I’ll be adding in goodreads links now that the list is up (as long as tumblr allows), adding books that come up, and can move/remove books if anybody thinks they don’t fit, since most of this was research, not my actual reading list. So, feel free to message me with any comments or concerns and otherwise, enjoy!

Update #1: Links added; Running with the Pack, High and Tight, and More Than Enough added; Shock and Awe moved.

Mutual; Part 1

Summary: Completely content with your asexuality, you’re once again thrown back into confusion when you meet Tall, Dark, and Handsome, which leads you to believe you’re a gray ace after all. But his own confession has you wanting him even more.


PART 1:

Genre: Angst, Slight Fluff

Member: Sehun (appearance by Chanyeol)

Words: 1,375


I’m feeling kinda strange,
‘Cause of all the things you say.
Yeah I know, too good to believe.
This probably won’t work,
'Cause you’re kind of a jerk.
And for sure, you’re way too cool for me.

Originally posted by damnitsehun

Keep reading

SOME ASEXUALS MASTURBATE

SOME ASEXUALS DO NOT MASTURBATE

SOME ASEXUALS ARE SEX REPULSED

SOME ASEXUALS ARE NOT SEX REPULSED

SOME ASEXUALS KNOW A LOT ABOUT SEX AND THEIR BODIES IN THAT CONTEXT

SOME ASEXUALS DO NOT KNOW A LOT ABOUT SEX AND/OR THEIR BODIES IN THAT CONTEXT

SOME ASEXUALS HAVE SEX VERY OFTEN

SOME ASEXUALS HAVE SEX SOMETIMES

SOME ASEXUALS NEVER HAVE SEX

SOME ASEXUALS ARE VIRGINS

SOME ASEXUALS ARE NOT VIRGINS

PROTECT AND DEFEND ALL ASEXUALS, REGARDLESS OF THEIR PREFERENCES OR SPOT ON THE SPECTRUM

THANK YOU

Here’s to all the aces who are pushed out of ace spaces

To the disabled aces

To the neuro-divergent/aneuro aces

To the aces who survived trauma

To the Aces of Color

To the gray aces and WTFaces

To the older aces

To everyone who spent years of struggles before learning they were ace

You are all still valid and amazing people. We are working every day to make the community fully inclusive.

Demisexual positivity post

I haven’t seen one of these for demisexuals yet and as your ace brother I’d like to spread some positivity so:


  • You are still valid as a demisexual if you look at porn/masturbate as well as if you don’t
  • You are still valid as a demisexual if sex doesn’t really interest you
  • A close emotional bond is the condition in which sexual attraction MAY occur- if you have a close emotional bond with someone or many people who you do not find sexually attractive then you are still valid as a demisexual
  • You may call yourself ace as a demisexual as you are part of the asexual umbrella
  • As a demisexual you have just as much right to be a part of the ace community as gray aces and asexuals 

Thank you :) this has been a demisexual positivity post! Stay awesome, Demi friends! Please feel free to add other important points of positivity to the list as you reblog.

anonymous asked:

i told my boyfriend i was demisexual so i had to expalin to him that demisexual is the kind of people who feel sexual attraction to someone with an emotional bond, and he said "yeah just like everyone else"... how i am supposed to react to that? i told him that no, because lot of people is alright with one night stands, but he was insisting everyone was like this..

This is a hard one that I’ve struggled with too, because as demisexuals we know that our experience is fundamentally different, but often times harder to pin down than saying we’re strictly asexual.

Here’s how I explained it to my mom. I’m not sure how useful this is, especially since it’s about how *I* experience demisexuality, which might be different than how you or others do, but maybe it’ll help.

So imagine that sex is coffee right? People love coffee. Coffee is everywhere. There’s a Starbucks on every corner, coffee drinkers in every TV show and movie, and billboards and ad spots about coffee all the time. People who like coffee might be peculiar about how they want their coffee— maybe they like it with sugar or soy milk, or only in the mornings before 10, or only when they’re studying, only from Starbucks or only from their local coffee house, etc. Or they might not care— they might like coffee no matter when or how it’s made. They’ll buy it from anyone and take it in whatever form because they really like coffee. But they all agree that in general they like coffee.

And then there are people who don’t like coffee at all. They can’t stand it. They don’t want coffee at any point of the day, no matter how it’s made or who makes it. Nothing you can do makes coffee in any way appealing to them. Coffee lovers are generally baffled by this, and some might insist that people who don’t like coffee just haven’t had the right cup, but the fact is that people who don’t like coffee simply just don’t like coffee.

And then there are people like us: we don’t generally like coffee, and we wouldn’t choose to have coffee on our own. Like the people who don’t like coffee, we can go years without a cup of coffee and it doesn’t bother us at all.

But we have a friend who loves coffee, and we love that friend. And the longer we’re friends, the more we want to have coffee with them. Not because coffee has suddenly become our favorite drink, but because we love our coffee-drinking friend and THEY make us want coffee. So we go out for coffee with them, and we enjoy having coffee because we’re having coffee with them. If we weren’t with them, we wouldn’t want coffee.

“But everybody feels that way” isn’t true. Coffee lovers still want coffee even when their conditions for having coffee aren’t met. Just because they’re not drinking coffee right now, or because they might have preferences for when & how they drink coffee, doesn’t mean they stop liking coffee. But for people like us, if we’re not having coffee with that specific person, then we don’t care about coffee. It holds absolutely no appeal or value. We have to have that connection before we ever want coffee. Coffee lovers might want that connection when they have coffee too, but they also generally want coffee as a thing in itself.

That’s the difference between being demisexual and being an allosexual who likes to have emotional connections with their partners. An allosexual person still likes and wants sex as a thing itself, even if the conditions for having sex aren’t being met. They think about and desire sex outside of the conditions they set for engaging in the actual act. A demisexual person doesn’t care about sex as a thing in itself, because sex is inherently tied to emotional bonding for them. We don’t think about sex as an act involving us unless it’s under those conditions.

That may or may not be the worst analogy ever, I honestly don’t know, sorry. It seemed to work for my mom, but that might be because she really likes coffee *shrugs*

If anyone following this blog has any resources on how to respond to that type of response they’d like to direct the anon to, please let me know so I can post them!

Hope that helps!

Shoutout to black asexuals!!

Sex repulsed black aces
Sex positive black aces
Sex neutral black aces
Black aces who’ve had sex
Black aces who’re still virgins
Black aces who are out
Black aces who are in the closet
Black aces in their teens
Black aces who are in their twenties on up
Questioning black aces
Black aces who’ve always known they were ace
Demisexual black aces
Grey asexual black aces
Black aromantic asexuals

I hope in 2016 the black community will recognize that we exist! We definitely need more conversations about being black and asexual.

Shoutout to gray-asexuals!

Shoutout to gray-aces who wonder if they’re alone on the spectrum because we so very rarely talk or post about gray-asexuality.

Shoutout to gray-aces who feel as if they don’t fit in anywhere.

Shoutout to gray-aces who are hesitant to tell people about the gray part of their asexuality because acceptance is so hard to find.

Shoutout to gray-aces who proudly announce the gray part of their asexuality no matter the opposition.

Shoutout to gray-aces who are questioning or confused.

Shoutout to gray-aces who haven’t come to terms with their own identity yet.

Shoutout to gray-aces who fight the fight for asexuals as their identity is ignored or shoved aside.

Shoutout to gray-aces for being gray-ace.

Shoutout to gray-aces!

For the anon who messaged me earlier, and any other ace that’s worried about a future partner leaving them over their asexuality, please take the time to read this!!!

I’m telling yall: Anyone who is willing to leave you over your asexuality is a horrible person. I know in due time you’ll all find love like this.

Some people on the ace spectrum have had sex before, and that’s okay
Some people on the ace spectrum have never had sex before and never will, and that’s okay.
Some people on the ace spectrum are having sexual relationships currently, and that’s okay.
Some people in the ace spectrum don’t currently have sexual relationships but may in the future and that’s okay.
But what’s not okay is other people invalidating an asexual persons relationship based on their past, present, or future sexual activity.