Elle: [to Garcia] Can you get into those records?
Reid: [Garcia is typing] Despite the fact they’re probably expunged, she can find the faintest echo of deletion and successfully recreate the file, thereby sending us all to prison for computer felony fraud counts
Elle: [Garcia is looking worried up to her] We can make bail, Garcia!
Garcia: Already in.
Elle Greenaway, Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia. Season 1 Episode 8. Criminal Minds quote of the day.
I’m going to come out here, because I feel like it needs to be said to someone before I go crazy. I’ve kind of said it in passing before, but I’m going to say it officially.
I’m heteroromantic gray ace.
…That actually made me feel so much better. Wow. Okay. So, basically this means for me that I usually don’t experience sexual attraction. Usually I’m pretty sex-repulsed, honestly. For the longest time sex completely grossed me out. I didn’t want any part of it, ever. But I still fell in love, and I still felt romantically attracted to others. I didn’t realize that there was a such a thing as asexuality yet, or that romantic attraction was different than sexual attraction. I just figured I’d feel it with my “One” or whatever. Or maybe I’d grow into it or something. It wasn’t a big deal to me.
Flash forward to high school, when I know there’s something different in how I’m attracted to people than how others seem to be attracted to people. I learn about sexualities in more than a theoretical sense. Now I actually know people who identify as gay, lesbian, bi, trans, ace, and others. And I start wondering if that might be me.
Let me also add here that I am a virgin. I have yet to kiss someone, so I don’t know if I would enjoy that or not. But I know I like cuddling. I like holding hands. I like forehead kisses and nose kisses and cheek kisses. I like hugs. I like physical contact. But any sort of sexual contact feels weird.
Sometimes I go through a weird time where I’m kind of horny or something and sex doesn’t sound that bad. I read a little smut and it doesn’t freak me out. I don’t know what’s up with that, it just kind of happens sometimes. But the other 85% of the time sex is not my thing. At all.
I don’t know if I have the right words to describe this. I’m just glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I’m not sure if it’s really something worth coming out about, but I felt like I had to tell someone, and you guys have always been super supportive. I love every last one of you, and I hope you have a lovely night.