gravity heels

falling-into-vacancies  asked:

I'm going with the first thing that popped into my head -- Bucky and Clint lose a beat and have to dress as Buttercup and Dread Pirate Roberts and at first they're super pissed bc seriously Tony? but then they get into it and quote it

323. 

“Ugh,” Clint said, hoiking his dress up to around his knees so he wouldn’t trip on the damned thing, again, and pulling flyaway strands of wig away from his mouth. “That is just not fair.” 

‘cos of course Bucky had claimed Dread Pirate Roberts while Clint was still gaping at his cards, at Tony’s cards, at the complete betrayal they’d dealt him. And of course Bucky looked hot as hell in the loose black shirt, the tight black pants, the close-tied mask. Even the little mustache was doing it for him, which he was hoping like hell wasn’t gonna be reflected in his porn habits any time soon. JARVIS kept an eye on that shit, he was pretty sure, and no way was he gonna let Tony think it was about him

Tony was looking pretty good, actually. He’d come as a Nascar driver, possibly? Something that involved a close-cut suit covered in various patches of Stark subsidiaries and a pair of mirrored sunglasses. Steve, on the other hand, had kinda missed the whole ‘sexy’ aspect of most costumes and had come as a giant freakin’ mushroom, and honestly he was freaking Clint out. It made him feel a little better about his own disastrous drag act, anyway, although even if he could only see half of Bucky’s face it wasn’t exactly difficult to notice that the asshole was laughing

“The boots make the outfit, doll,” he said, and Clint made a face at him. 

“You really want me to take on gravity with heels?” he asked, and Bucky - who had been making an effort, if his bitten down lips were any indication - bust out into a fresh round of cackling. The boots Tony’d provided with his outfit had actually been flat and red and pretty kickass, but Clint had broken the laces within five minutes of touching them and just shoved his feet into unlaced combat boots instead. 

“Aw screw you, and your sexy bandit thing,” Clint said, waving a dismissive hand and headed for the kitchen, where the beer lived. 

Couple hours later found him sitting, legs splayed, on the couch, a freshly opened beer dangling from his fingers and resting against his inner thigh. His wig was somewhere - last he’d seen, Bruce’d been wearing it, doing quietly hilarious impressions of Thor - and his dress was unlaced halfway down his chest. Bucky rounded the edge of the couch - still looking impeccable, of course, ‘cos that was just the kind of asshole he was - and almost tripped over himself when he caught sight of Clint. 

“Save it,” Clint said, lifting his beer and tilting his head back for a long swallow. “Heard it all.” 

Fuck,” Bucky said, soft and sounding a little shaken, and Clint let his beer dangle between his knees again, watching curiously as Bucky followed the motion with his eyes, as he visibly swallowed hard. 

“…seriously?” he asked, genuinely astounded. “This is what gets you?” 

“I fuckin’ -” Bucky’s voice was low and gravelly and oddly breathless, “Jesus, Clint, you got no idea, I -” he swallowed again. “I got to get my mouth on you, okay, you gotta let me -” 

His voice died away as Clint pushed himself to his feet, managing to do it without losing his balance even a little, and stepped in close enough that he could tease the barest kiss across Bucky’s mouth. 

“As you wish,” he said.

Killer Heels - Dick Grayson x Reader

Prompt: Dude, your blog is honestly the best! I love all your stories! ❤️ I was wondering if you can write a Dick Grayson fluffy reader insert where the reader is trying to fall in heels, but keeps falling and Dick is just making fun of her. I feel like that would be really cute. 😁 (requested by anon)

“[Y/N]? Are you ready yet? Bruce will kill me if we’re late to another one of these things.” Dick asked popping his head into the bathroom to check on your progress. You were just putting the finishing touches on your makeup and putting on your earrings.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. I’m just about done. Just let me get my shoes on and we can leave.” You said patting the top of his head as you passed. He followed closely behind you as you dug into the closet and dug out the heels that you had bought for this dress exclusively.

“Woah there tiger. Are you sure those are the best idea?” He asked skeptically pointing at the heels you were strapping onto your ankles. You rolled your eyes at his skepticism.

“Ha Ha. Very funny, Dick.” You said dryly. With your heels strapped on your rose to your feet and immediately wobbled off balance. Dick caught your shoulders and stabilized you with taunting raised eyebrow. “Not. A. Word.” You warned pointing your finger at him and jabbing his chest.

“I didn’t say anything.” He insisted throwing his hands up in defeat.

“You were thinking it.” You accused.

“Guilty.” Dick shrugged. He started to walk towards the door, leaving you behind. “Come on, we wouldn’t want to be late would we?” He asked holding the door open for you and gesturing towards the outdoor world. You looked down at your feet and the long distance between where you were standing and where Dick stood waiting expectantly.

“Something wrong, [Y/N]?” He asked with a teasing smile playing at his lips. You glared at him as he clearly taunted you.

“Nope. I’m good.” You shook your head crossing your arms over your chest.

“Then let’s get a move on. Can’t keep the party waiting!” Dick encouraged gesturing out the door.

“Fine.” You sighed hesitantly taking a step towards the door then another. You daintily walked successfully until you were just a few steps away from Dick. You got a little too confident in your heels and gravity decided to knock you down a peg. You tripped over thin air and fell straight into Dick’s arms.

“Hey sweetie.” Dick cooed as your cheek pressed against his chest from your fall.

“Sup?” You said looking up at him.

“Are you going to change your shoes?” Dick inquired smugly.

“No.” You said.

“Why?” Dick sighed.

“These are the only shoes that go with this dress.” You admitted.

“Oh darn, I guess I’ll just have to keep you in my arms all night. What a shame.” Dick said dramatically.

“A shame indeed.” You laughed gently patting his chest before hooking your arm in Dick’s waiting elbow.

While most people are dying to join Taylor Swift’s squad, I am praying to some how be granted the privilege to join the Quirky Girls. First up the girl who can’t get along with gravity in high heels and is totally a pro at falling on red carpets. Next, the adorable red head who together with her adorable bf use her celebrity status to make a difference. Oh yeah she’s also the only person to ever pull off making fun of Ryan Gosling’s abs. And lastly but certainly not least we have the Queen herself, Adele. This is a woman’s who sings with her whole heart then makes faces at the end. These 3 ladies are the ideal role model and girls I’d love to have a beer with and become their best friend.

“Caught” – Prince Leonardo

I don’t even know with this….

Blame otomesass​…

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The clack of your heels against the marble staircase echoed in the cavernous hallway of Dres Van manor as you raced to climb to the top as fast as you could.  The haughty prince who sneered at you below had made it clear that you were to vacate the premises as soon as possible and you were more than happy to oblige him.  Swallowing hard, you blinked back tears, the result of his acid words that eroded the brief sliver of self confidence you had felt after the King had commended you for the good work you had done creating their Majesty’s outfits for the ball.  After spending a near sleepless week designing, then sewing, their garments under an almost impossible deadline, you had prayed that the end result would be up to their high standards.  And for one brief, shining moment it seemed as though it had been – until their sour son opened his mouth and snuffed out the small candle of hope that had been lit by his father’s previous praise.

“Stupid jerk!” you thought to yourself, unheeding of the figure who was walking down the staircase as you rushed up. “He’s hated me the moment since I came here and for no good reason! Well, if he wants me gone he doesn’t need to tell me twice, that purple piece of –“

“HEY! YOU!”

Startled by the harsh voice you had come to know so unwillingly well over the past week, you spun around instinctively, completely forgetting that you were on a very high staircase in very high heels. Gravity took over. With a gasp you pitched forward, stomach churning as you stared into amethyst eyes that went from stern to surprised as their owner realized you were falling - and straight into him.

Suddenly, a strong arm circled your waist from behind, and pulled you back, steadying you against a tall, warm, solid chest.

“Whoa, there,” a voice smooth and hot like brandy breathed in your ear, sending a shiver through your body. “That could’ve been a nasty spill…”

“Leonardo!” Prince Joshua’s eyes narrowed at the mysterious man at your back. “What are you doing here?!”

Craning your neck behind you to catch a glimpse of your unknown rescuer, you were caught by cognac eyes glittering beneath honey blonde bangs. “Oh you know – breaking rules, saving damsels in distress, plotting your downfall – in other words, the usual,” he smirked defiantly at the Crown Prince.

“Tch,” Joshua glowered. “With a frivolous prince like you it’s no wonder Nerwan is in shambles.”

“Prince Leonardo of Nerwan?!” Your mind spun in a whirlwhind at this piece of information. “Don’t tell me I was just caught by THE Prince Leonardo?!”

“At least a frivolous prince like me knows how to treat his designer – as well as a lady,” Leonardo shot back, gently letting you go before stepping away to give you back your personal space. He looked down at you with a devastating smile. “You alright?“

You gave him a small nod. “Y-yeah…”

Joshua’s brow furrowed. “Your designer? Since when is she your designer?”

“Since about five minutes ago,” Leonardo grinned, making a show of looking at his watch.  “Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to get her packed and out of here so that she can start work bright and early at Castle Nerwan tomorrow morning. I’m sure you won’t mind, seeing as how it’s past good little boys’ bedtime anyway.”

“How dare you! Why you, you -!!!” Joshua sputtered.

“Your Highness.” The calm voice of Jan as he rushed forward was a welcome relief to your nerves that were getting increasingly frazzled at the predicament you had found yourself in. “Please forgive my intrusion but your father wishes to speak with you urgently.”

“Hmph. Very well,” Joshua grumbled, his eyes never once leaving Leonardo. “Don’t think I’ll forget this.”

Leonardo chuckled. “Considering how you haven’t forgotten the one time I accidentally took one of your pens home with me after a meeting, I won’t.”

“But that was my favorite pen!” Joshua shot back, Jan quickly ushering him out of the hallway and back into the main ballroom before things could deteriorate further.

Letting out a sigh of relief, you turned to face the golden prince who was eyeing you curiously. “Thank you so much, Your Highness!” you curtsied. “How can I possibly repay your kindness?”

He frowned. “You can start by stopping with all the Your Highness and curtseying crap, I hate that stuff,” he replied coolly. “Prince Leonardo is just fine.”

“Alright, thank you Prince Leonardo,” you tried again, a little taken aback at how hot and cold he seemed to run. “I appreciate you catching me from falling.”

“No prob,” he shrugged leaning against the staircase railing so casually you would have thought he was a commoner just like yourself. “Knowing the rules around here you’d probably end up in the dungeon or something for falling onto his Royal Pain in the Ass. Just doing my civic duty.”

You stifled a giggle at the moniker he had bestowed on Prince Joshua. “Still,” you persisted, “You didn’t have to make up that lie about me being your personal designer to help get me out of here quicker. You went above and beyond there and I’m grateful for that.”

He grinned. “Are you kidding? There’s nothing I love more than confusing that guy any chance I get. And besides, if you accept the job then I’m not actually lying am I?”

“W-what?” Your heart skipped at the implication. “Accept the job? Does that mean -?”

“Yup,” he nodded. “I liked what I saw out there. You made the old man actually look decent for once. If you can do that for me, well, it would help me loads with my credibility. His Royal Stuffiness was right in one thing – Nerwan’s economy is suffering. Your clothes could help me project the right image to get our country taken seriously. Unless you got something else going on?”

You shook your head. “No, I don’t have anything else going on. And I would be honored at the opportunity Your High-“ you stopped to correct yourself at his eyebrow raise. “Prince Leonardo.”

“Awesome! I’ll talk to Jan and have him get you all packed and ready to go.” He extended his hand out to you. “Shall we?”

Shyly, you placed your hand in his. “Yes, let’s.”

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A/N – Ficlet? Prelude? I have no idea….

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Thanks for reading this rambling…