Mabel saying “Up
top!” and putting her hand in the air for a high-five, and Ford being confused
as to what she meant before Mabel sighs with over exaggeration, motioning and
saying “Hand up, Grunkle Ford!” and dragging his hand up to meet hers in a
quick clap before dropping their
hands and grinning at him.
gets that she was after a high-five, and whether by being sensitive to his polydactyly,
or if that was just the lingo of today, she managed to avoid a sore point for
him. Ford smiled and raised both of his hands. “Double up top?” he asked her,
and she squealed, launching herself in the air to double high-five him. The
both laughed, Ford rubbing one of his hands and telling Mabel she didn’t know
her own strength.
harder and tells him that noodle arms are Dipper’s thing. If he doesn’t want a
red mark, he needs to go clap hands with her brother.
Crying Child: *runs off, in tears* Phone Guy: Okay, seriously, Purple, it’s time to throw that thing out. Its face reminds everyone of the inevitability of death. Purple Guy: What? Sure, he’s a little rusty around the edges, but Ol’ Goldie’s a classic showstopper, like me! Fredbear: *bites down on his arm* Purple Guy: KILL IT. KIIILL IIIT.
Team Fortress 2: A bunch of grown men with badass hats shooting each other over glowing dots and briefcases.
Gravity Falls: Noah Wiseman must uncover the secret of his great uncle’s brother’s diary while battling a mystery flavored Dorito chip
Steven Universe: A bunch of rocks slam into each other and make out and stuff
Gorillaz: The Satanic lovechild of Shrek and Keith Richards starts a band with a blue haired stoner, a loli, and Captain Protein Shake.
OFF: “I came here to chew some Big League Chew and kill spooks and babies. And I’m all out of Big League Chew.”
Hetalia: An Italian man wants spaghetti but his Aryan hubby says no.
Black Butler: Demons, cake, pedophilia, death and corsets. What more can you ask for, really?
Lucky Star; Dammit, Konata, stop being so relatable.
Five Nights at Freddy’s: Barney the Dinosaur’s human incarnate starts some mischief and the little furry babies are pissed.
The Babadook: [Babadook screaming like an angsty scene boy]
Homestuck: Together a gamer geek, his cousin(?), Mandy, and Henry Danger fighst alongside some pissy candy corn headed internet trolls to save the world from a mutant dog…beetle..carapace…thing…and aaah shit here come the cherubs!!
Steam Powered Giraffe: Musical robots with a love of Bobby Darin and a hatred for elephants and rock candy.
gravity falls fans keep making bill cipher artworks and rugs and shit and sending them to alex hirsch, and he loves them and puts them in his house, but one day someone’s gonna come by and see all this artwork worshipping a triangle demon everywhere and he’s gonna be like “oh yeah my followers make them for me”
Summary: Ford lost his brother to the portal he created. By dismantling it to save the world, he ensured Stanley’s death. Thirty years later, the winter his reclusive lifestyle is disrupted by a pair of painfully familiar twins, someone knocks on his door.
[A/N: It’s 2:35 AM. This may or may not be one of the best things I’ve ever written. I’m reading through this now and chuckle-snorting to myself. When I wake up in the morning I will long for death.
But now. Now, I live. And I’m posting this before I can regret it
“You’re an elf,” Ford repeated blankly. “As in, a Christmas elf. From - Santa’s workshop. In the North Pole.”
“Well, it was a pretty long walk down here -”
It was this last bit of ridiculousness that broke the dam. “I don’t even celebrate Christmas!” Ford exploded, brandishing his hands wildly. “We don’t celebrate Christmas! We’re Jewish. Stan, what the fuck?”]
Looking back, Ford wasn’t sure when exactly things had started going completely, horribly wrong.
He spent much of the next thirty years attempting to make up for his many mistakes. The process of dismantling of the portal had been difficult enough on his own. It took many years to slowly get rid of the majority of the metal and circuitry that made up its body. Even then, much of the basic framework still lied deep under his home, collecting dust in the dark basement of a laboratory Ford could hardly bring himself to enter.
More than anyone else alive, he knew that Bill Cipher had his fingers in many pies. Ford might had been his primary pawn, his plan A, but he highly doubted that the demon would simply give up on his millennia-long plans because of a momentary defeat.
The portal might have been taken down, but he was sure that there were other ways to rip open the walls separating dimensions. Especially… especially when they were already weakened. After all, the portal had already been fully activated once before.
It was difficult and time-consuming work, researching Bill’s previous movements throughout human history and planning, the best he could, against his future schemes. For one, it meant that Ford stayed to himself. The moment he had been foolish enough to fall for Bill’s tricks, he had enlisted himself into a lifetime of foiling the demon’s plans, in any way possible.
There was no point in getting anyone else involved in this mess, especially after what happened with Fiddleford and… and Stanley.