grass fed organic

Homegrown, grass-fed, organic Coach Bittle headcanons

(This got really long and fluffy. Sorry.)

Coach looks like a scary dude, but he’s actually a big softie. He has a really intimidating resting bitch face, and a more intimidating murder face, but he would rather eat shit than say shit.

Coach is hella passive aggressive. If you mess with him he’ll be all like, “Wah, I was always taught to turn the other cheek. Hate the sin, love the sinner.” But then he’ll blind copy your boss and forward your emails if he feels like you’re being rude. Or he’ll hand out invitations to a cookout to everyone except you.

And it’s really interesting because Suzanne Bittle is the opposite. She is small and very sweet, but if you mess with her she ascends through passive aggressive and straight into aggressive-aggressive. Like, in high school Bitty had a lot of trouble with this one teacher. Not the subject material, but the teacher. Bitty would ask for help or clarification and the teacher would basically do the academic equivalent of “No, fuck off and die.” And then this teacher would “lose” Bitty’s assignments periodically, and he would grade Bitty’s tests way harder than anyone else’s.

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Back into the keto swing of things! We had a blizzard today, so my office was closed and I worked from home.

Breakfast was a bulletproof mocha at 1g net carbs - coffee, grass fed butter, organic coconut oil, 100% unsweetened cocoa powder, collagen peptides and a splash of Califia Farms almond milk creamer.

Lunch was sugar free bacon, cheesy scrambled eggs, and half an avocado.

Dinner was turkey, cauliflower rice with melted brie, and green beans.

Feels good to be on track! A little high on the protein today, but I’ll take it.

recently a few people spent some relatively large amounts of cash on my album, so to celebrate I’m releasing a couple of organic, grass-fed tracks into this musical pasture

  • Meat eater: vegans are so elitist! Eating vegan is expensive!
  • Meat eater: everyone should only buy local grass-fed organic meat and dairy, and free-range happy eggs, and if you eat anything that's not fair trade you're the devil...


Wealthy Non-Vegan: *In same breath* But don’t worry, you can still make a difference. You can still help animals, you just have to buy local, organic, grass fed, free range, hormone and antibiotic free meat, eggs and dairy from your local farm, specialty super market, craft butcher, or farmers market. You’ll have to pay out the ass for it but hey, it’s for a good cause, right?  Be a good sport, and do the right thing. ;)