graphic:spn

What my mom said while I made her watch Supernatural with me

“Oh it’s that ghost show you always talk about”
“It’s unnatural how much you talk about this show”

“He is very pretty” 

“I wish my hair looked like that”

“Is this the guy you cry over?”

“Are they…” *long silence* “…together?”

See What I See

Title: See What I See

Word Count: 2,228

Warnings: Season 10 spoilers, plus-size!Reader, inappropriate and rude (body and other) comments, mentions of blood, mild swearing, slight angst, fluff

Summary: After Sam and the Reader find demon!Dean and bring him back to the bunker, the Reader is left alone with Dean for a little while. Dean enjoys taunting her while they’re alone together.

Pair: [plus-size!Reader, x Dean/demon!Dean]

Author’s Note: So, I got a request to write another plus-size!Reader imagine! Sorry I haven’t posted in a few days.. this week has just absolutely sucked. But, eh. Request things! x Also, I know that this one shot doesn’t really correspond with the scene of Dean being cured, but for the sake of fanfiction, oh well.

              Sam’s words echoed through your head. It’s not him. Don’t listen to anything he has to say. Just focus on the fact that he’s gonna be alright. Don’t listen. Don’t listen. Don’t listen. Don’t listen. It’s not him. You continued to repeat his words, over and over again, in hopes of yourself believing it. Truth be told, it was difficult for you. It was Dean talking… but it wasn’t him. He didn’t mean the things he was saying. No. He wouldn’t. Would he?

              You remained silent, fumbling with the syringe of purified blood left by Sam, counting down the moments until the next hour to plunge the needle into his neck. You desperately yearned for Dean to be himself once more. You missed him dearly. All of you did. Sam. Castiel.

              “Oh, Y/N, why don’t you just give it up already?” Dean grumbled, a long exhale falling his words. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be… cured.

              You inhaled slowly, still facing away from him. Your eyes narrowed at the weaponry in front of you, your eyes tracing the designs in the silver blades in hopes of distracting yourself. You gravely tried to block out his voice, though your mind disobeyed, allowing his statements float into your mind and brand themselves into your brain.

              “C’mon, Y/N, don’t you understand that I don’t want to be saved? That I like the disease,” Dean hissed, the sound of his chains clanging together as he struggled against them, an unsatisfied grunt following his unsuccessful attempts of breaking free.

              “Too bad,” you muttered, checking the timer on your phone, alerting you that there was only a few more minutes until second to final injection. Just one more hour.

              Dean sniggered, your nose crinkling in disgust at the menacing tone to his laughter. You slowly pivoted around on your heel, the timer on your phone alerting you that it was time. You approached Dean, positioning the needle to inject into his neck. You gripped tightly down onto the roots of his hair, tilting his head and plunging the tip into his skin. Dean hissed, attempting to jerk himself away from you, but failed. You withdrew the syringe from his flesh, stalking back over to the table and setting it down onto the wooden surface.

              Dean coughed and groaned, lolling his head and resting his chin against his chest. “I know why you want your old Dean back so badly.”

              Your gaze lifted to face the arsenal of weapons hitched to the wall, your eyes growing wide with sudden curiosity. Of course you wanted Dean back, but the way he tone of voice was suggested that he had more to say and that his words had deeper meaning to them.

              “Do you think I don’t hear you and Sam talking?”

              You bit the inside of your cheek, your facial features hardening at his choice of a statement. How could he know? You very secretive about your growing feelings for the oldest Winchester, always making sure that he was out of earshot when you discussed it with Sam. Or so you believed to.

              “About how a guy like me could never fall for a girl like you?” he continued. You could hear the smirk in his voice, knots beginning to form in the pit of your stomach. You were a hunter. You weren’t supposed to be nervous nor scared, especially over petty, romantic feelings towards another. But you were. God, you were.

You had had feelings towards Dean for quite some time now, at first ignoring the strange sensations that bubbled in your abdomen. You told yourself that it was truly nothing, but as time went on, you began to accept the idea of being together with Dean, though you knew for a fact that he would never love a girl your size. Though Sam assured you that Dean would love you no matter what, you pushed his comments off with a shrug and a sip of your beer, telling him that his assumptions were ridiculous.

“Well, you’re right.”

Your breath was hitched in your throat, your mouth gaping at his confession. Though you had always known that he would never love a girl your size, there was always a glimmer of hope that possibly he would look passed your appearance. You were wrong, though.

Don’t listen. Sam’s voice rattled in your head, though you couldn’t help yourself. He sounded so real. This was Dean. This was Dean speaking. Not the demon inside of him. Dean.

“I’d never have feelings for a fat, disgusting bitch like you,” he snarled, an evil chuckle rumbling through his chest.

You stiffened, straightening your posture and rolling your shoulders back. You bit the inside of your cheek harder, your flesh coaxed with raw sores and the metallic taste of blood on the tip of your tongue. You took a deep breath in hopes of composing yourself, though you knew that Dean’s words stung. Normally, whenever someone would make an inappropriate comment regarding your appearance, you simply would shrug it off and possibly slug the guy. But with Dean? You couldn’t quite contain yourself. You felt the tears brim within your eyes, your Y/E/C hues growing glassy and bloodshot. You dug your fingernails into the palms of your hands in hopes of distracting yourself from the hurtful words, though a single tear slipped passed your barriers and slid down your flushed cheeks.

“Oh, did I offend you?” Dean chortled, his chains clinging together as he huddled over in fits of laughter. “Sorry the truth hurts, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that,” you mumbled, picking up your phone and slipping it into your pocket, beginning to make your way towards the exit.

“Oh, so I did offend you!” He laughed once more. “But there you go. Running away like you always do. God, whenever someone makes a comment about you, you run away. You cry. You’re weak, Y/N.”

His statement burned in your head, your chest rising and falling with each heavy breath that lifted in your lungs. A large lump began to form in your throat, you desperately trying to push down the sob that threatened to pass, though your attempts were unsuccessful. He was digging himself into your head. He was manipulating you. That’s what demons did. But you couldn’t shake it. You couldn’t. This was Dean. Your best friend.

“See? There you go. Crying. God, how the hell did Sam and I even put up with you these last few years? We should have never started hunting with you. You’ve only brought us down. You’re too slow, Y/N. You can’t catch up. You’re a weak link. It’s your fault why so many people have died. You’re too slow to save them. You’re a failure.”

              “Shut up!” you roared, turning on your heel and marching towards him, retrieving Ruby’s knife from your pocket and pressing it to his neck.

              Dean’s cocky smirk caused a sneer to appear on your lips, your nose wrinkling. Dean’s tongue jutted out from his mouth, wetting his lips as his green eyes locked with yours. “Do it.”

              You applied more pressure to the blade, creating a small incision into his skin, but you immediately withdrew it once you realized what you were doing. You stared down at him for a brief moment, shaking your head before walking calmly to the door. You turned to face him once more, raising an eyebrow at him before pushing the cabinets together, blocking him from view.

“I heard shouting. What happened?” Sam frantically inquired as you stomped your way into the living room area, both Cas and Sam glancing up at you from their conversation on the couch.

              “It’s done. He only needs one more injection,” you informed rather harshly, making a beeline towards your room, slamming the hatchway shut. You sighed, replaying the previous events in your mind, the horror continuously repeating. Over and over again, the words that he spat at you caused a shiver to run down your spine, your jaw clenching tightly. You knew that he was a demon. You knew demons dug under your skin, but you couldn’t help but believe that what he hissed was true. Were you weak?

              You sighed heavily, plopping down onto your bed, burying your face within the comforter. He’ll be back to normal soon, you assured yourself, clutching down onto one of the pillows, reeling it into your chest. Soon.

              ***

              You hadn’t realized that you had fallen asleep until the sound of a knock brought you from your slumber. A groan seeped passed your lips as you lifted yourself up from your position, propping your elbow down onto the mattress. “Come in,” you hoarsely spoke, clearing your throat to awaken your vocal chords.

              The door slowly opened, revealing a small sliver of Dean’s tall frame, your eyes widening at the sight of him. He no longer carried himself as if he was superior over everyone. His shoulders were hunched a little, a guilty expression etched on his features.

              “Hey,” he murmured, walking fully into your room and shutting the door with a soft click. He cautiously made his way to the other side of your bed, your eyes following him with every step. The mattress sunk underneath his weight, his body shifting so he could face you properly. “I-”

              “Save it, Dean, you don’t need to apologize,” you mumbled, averting your gaze and allowing it to fall into your lap, your fingers fiddling together. “I know you didn’t know what you were saying.”

              “But that’s the thing, Y/N. I did know what I was saying.”

              You didn’t think that your heart could break any more than it already had, but clearly you were wrong. Your heart pace quickened in your chest, your stomach clenching at the sound of his words. He did know what he was saying. He did mean it. Of course he did. You knew that already.

              “But I couldn’t control myself. I tried so hard to stop, Y/N. God, I would never ever say that shit to you. But I couldn’t stop,” he whispered, pursing his lips to form a tight line. You felt his eyes still locked onto you, your gaze slowly flicking onto him once more, though you didn’t bother speaking. Dean noted your decision to be silent, his mouth disclosing to speak once more. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

              You slowly nodded, looking back down into your lap. Dean sighed, scooting his body closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. You were startled at first, to say the least, but you relaxed into his grasp, burying your face into his shirt.

              “You’re wrong, though.”

              You peered up at him, your eyebrows knitted together into a line of confusion, cocking your head to the left slightly, indicating him to continue on with his thought.

              “You’re wrong. I could easily fall for a girl like you. Hell, I have.”

              Your eyes widening at his confession, your lips parting to speak, but his words beat you to it. “I know you have a horrible self-image of yourself, Y/N. But, God, I wish you could see what we see. What I see. I see a strong, confident, woman who can take down an entire vampire nest by herself. Who has saved many people. Who has saved this damned world. C’mon, Y/N. How can you be so blind?”

              You bit your bottom lip harshly, sighing quietly, though once again, you didn’t bother to answer. Dean breathed heavily, stroking your arm soothingly. “Because I see a beautiful, smart, hilarious, badass, curvy woman who should love herself no matter what has happened in the past. No matter what she looks like. No matter what anyone else ever says. You understand me?”

              You nibbled down harder, though you slowly nodded your head. You didn’t believe him, though. You’ve always had this image of yourself in your head that you weren’t good enough for anyone, especially Dean Winchester.            

              “You know I’m not the one to be all sappy and shit, but Y/N, I just want you to know who are you. You’re not weak. Not at all. We all make mistakes. We’re human. It’s how we are. It’s how we always will be. Please, believe me.”

              “Yeah, yeah, I hear you,” you mumbled, fluttering your eyes closed momentarily. Dean sighed, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head, his calloused hand continuing to rub your arm comfortingly.

              “I have fallen for you, Y/N. I tried to deny it at first. Because who would have thought that Dean Winchester would actually get hooked on a girl? But, Hell, I have. God, have I. And I can’t help it. I can’t help myself when I’m around you.”

              You leisurely looked up at him, a tiny smile twitching onto the corners of your lips. You leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, Dean immediately returning the romantic gesture.

              You pulled away after a few moments, your lips still tingling from the previous sensation, your smile growing wider. “It’s good to have you back, Dean,” you murmured, collapsing your body into his.

              Dean wrapped his strong arms around you, holding you close to his chest and slowly rocking you back and forth, resting his chin on your head. “It’s good to be back.”

Master List.

Good Enough - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Good Enough

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 2,588

Warnings: Self-conscious reader (?), body image issues, self-hate 

Original imagine:

You sighed in peace as the warm water cascaded down your body, relaxing your soar muscles and washing away all the blood, dry and not, from you. It was a particularly difficult hunt but luckily was over now. It was some freaking demon, picking girls up at bars and then torturing them (as you had found out). All of them would go missing for exactly seven days and then would be found at the doorstep of their houses all bloodied, bruised, beaten and cut. Fortunately you managed to find the demon quickly but since you had the suspicion that he worked with others too, you had to follow him to find his hiding place.

Unfortunately for you, though, that meant that you had to be the bait. You had to go get all well-dressed, put some make up and try to seduce him into choosing you and getting you to his place as one of his ‘victims’. You really doubted in the beginning that he was going to choose you, though, not matter how much you tried to seduce him. Even if you tried your hardest you knew that there was no chance he would chose you over any other girl at the bar. Not that you had told this to the guys. You were self conscious about your body and whole image in general but you hadn’t showed it to the boys and certainly not Dean. Why would you?

You doubted he would even be interested to hear your self-pity words. You doubted he would even care to hear at all when he could have any woman he wanted to, clinging to him every second. Why would he? Sure you were best friends for about 5 years and had shared more than plenty of secrets and thoughts. You were really close, that was true, but you were not going to tell openly to the man that you were in love with (even though he didn’t know that either) the thoughts you had about yourself.

To cut a long story short, though, your plan had gone perfectly well, which also surprised you too. Despite Dean’s many protests of going in there as a bait the plan had worked and after you got the demon to take you to his place, Sam and Dean following closely behind, they both barged in and managed to kill them. Maybe it took them a little long, seeing as the demon managed to get to torture you, but it was nothing that an experienced hunter like you could not take.

You exited the bathroom and started drying your hair with a towel. Two thoughts constantly running through your mind. The one was the look on Dean’s eyes when he had barged in through the door of the warehouse where they kept you. You had never seen that look on his eyes before. Nothing that you had experienced before. When his eyes locked with yours and he saw the state you were, bloodied and with some bruises, you could clearly see it. He was angry but at the same time… scared. Of you getting hurt? Of you dying?… Of him losing you? You really couldn’t point your finger on it. But what surprised you even more was that when he managed with the help of Sam to kill all the demons and he managed to free you… he hugged you.

He had never hugged you so tightly and you had never heard his heart beat so wildly. Maybe it was from the adrenaline but you couldn’t help the tiny bit of hope in you that maybe it was because he was scared of losing you and he finally felt relief to have you in his arms. You didn’t really care at that moment though. You just hugged him like there was no tomorrow and decided not to think of anything else… but him and his arms wrapped tightly around you. His face buried in your neck and yours buried in his chest, breathing in his scent.

The other though, well the other thought that ran through your mind was the look on Dean’s eyes once again. But not when you were on the warehouse. No, this time it was the look Dean had on his eyes when you had walked out of your room; black high heels on, accompanied by a tight black dress that showed off your curves more than you’d like. You didn’t have another one, though, and you needed to do the job asap. Catching the demons was more important that your own insecurities. The look on Dean’s eyes though made you want to hide yourself from eyesight, even more. You couldn’t really decipher it, but his wide eyes and wide open mouth certainly indicated that he was shocked. You didn’t really know if it was a pleasant shock or not, though.

You scoffed at the thought itself.

“Why the hell would it be a pleasant shock, huh?” you asked your own self.

“As if there is anything beautiful here to be pleased to see, anyway” you muttered to yourself, staring back at your own reflection on the full length mirror on your room. You had only worn your underwear so every curve and little scar could be easily spotted, even if it was in the most well-hidden place.

You scoffed at yourself again, tears welling up in your eyes “Look at you” you mumbled, touching your own face and then running your fingers down your body, over every little scar or stretch mark; gripping at some places where there was a little more fat. Your arms, your stomach, your hips, your legs.

“Like there is even anything interesting on you” you spoke bitterly at your reflection on the mirror “Like there is even anything that could make him look at you any other way that friendly. The hell he would” you spit the last word, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“Just look at you” you laughed, though it was full of pain “Why would he, huh? Why, when he can have any woman he wants to. Certainly not you. Why the hell you?” your vision started to become more blurry.

Tears had by now started streaming down your face, though a pained smile was on your lips.

“Like hell would he ever be interested in you. Why, when he can have any other beautiful woman he wants to clinging of him. Why would he ever see you as more than just as a friend. Why would he, when there in no beauty here anyway. Why, when with just one look he can see all of your flaws.” you asked in a bitter voice tone.

You shook your head and laugh bitterly through your tears “What the hell am I even saying. Look at me. I am one big fucking flaw” you put your hands in front of your face just to wipe a few tears away. Not that it helped anyway.

“Look at you.” you said looking back at yourself in the mirror “Look at all of your freaking flaws. Why would he be attracted to someone with this looks, huh, why?” you asked through sobs.

Your whole body would shake with sobs. Your knees gave away, unable to support you any longer, and you collapsed to the ground. You hit your legs with your hands clenched in fists.

“I hate you, damn it! I fucking hate you!” you all-but-shouted and you looked back at your reflection in the mirror. At your tear-stained cheeks and every little detail of your face that you didn’t like about yourself.

You shook your head, gritting your teeth, and averting your eyes from the mirror. You brought your knees up and hugged them to yourself. Your crying could no be stopped now. Sobs shaking your whole body.

Many times you would stay till late at night, thinking of all those things and crying yourself until sleep enveloped you. There were many times too that when the boys were not at the bunker that you would stand in front of the mirror staring at all the things you didn’t like about yourself and crying. You had never gone at the extended of shouting at your own self and saying out loud all the things you hated but the thought was always there. The thought of not being good enough.

You mind felt dizzy from all the crying and you had started to doubt your ability to hear as well. Until-

Two strong arms grabbed at your shoulders and shook you violently, making you pull away and look up to meet two green and filled with worry orbs looking back at you.

“What the hell do you even think you’re doing?!” Dean’s voice, clearly filled with anger, snapped you from your daze.

“I-” was the only thing you managed to say.

“What the hell (Y/n)?!” he shouted once again “Tell me what the actual hell were all the things you said?!” he asked holding onto your shoulders more tightly.

“You- you heard that?” you managed to say in a low whisper.

“Yes, damn it! Yes I did! And you better have a good explanation or else I-” he started saying but you cut him off.

“Don’t, Dean. Please. I am perfectly aware of how I am. Just- don’t-” you couldn’t say more but just fought to keep the new wave of tears from flowing.

Silence followed for a while, until Dean decided to break it.

“You can’t be serious right now, can you?” he asked, his voice laced with disbelief “You can’t be seriously thinking that low of yourself” he added in a whisper.

“Dean I- I know perfectly well that I’m not beautiful so-” you started saying but he cut you off.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare say it once again! Don’t you dare even think of it or else I swear to every god I’ve met that I’m gonna go through heaven and hell to change that myself, you hear me?!” he shouted on full angel and all you could do was nod with wide eyes. You would be lying if you said that you were not slightly afraid at that moment.

“I’m sorry” he sighed looking down for a second “And I’m sorry that I hadn’t realized it all this time. But damn (Y/n), stop saying it. Stop thinking of it. And just talk to me. Why the hell would you even think so low of yourself, sweetheart?” he asked brushing a few tears off your face.

“Because… that’s the truth Dean.” you murmured and you saw anger flash through his eyes once again and his jaw clench, but he didn’t say anything.

“I am not pretty and I am perfectly aware of all my flaws. I’ve got extra weight but no matter how much I try to lose it I just- I can’t. I’m- I’m not beautiful Dean, and I know it. You do too” you brushed a few tears off your face “I am nothing like all those girls you pick up at bars and nor can I ever be.” you added in a whisper.

“Yes you are nothing like them cause you are way better!” he said in a firm voice “Damn it (Y/n) just hear me out, ok? You are beautiful. In fact you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. You have no idea how much I fucking love those curves of you and how cute those small scars make you. You have no idea how much I freaking love this rocking body of yours, because believe me it is freaking hot. You are freaking hot, (Y/n). I could see it when you wore that tight dress earlier today and I can even more see it now” he said and you, upon realizing that you were only in your underwear, brought your knees closer to yourself in order to cover yourself up somehow.

“No, don’t hide from me princess” he whispered in an almost loving voice tone. He took your arms away from your knees and you let them fall to the floor as you gazed back at his eyes which would not stop roaming your body “So freaking gorgeous” he whispered mostly to himself and you felt heat rise in your cheeks, his eyes looking every inch of your body as if trying to memorize you.

This has to be a dream you thought There is no way Dean would like me this way.

“You say I’m hot but you- you never actually flirted with me the way you do with all those girls” you mumbled and his eyes snapped up to meet yours.

“I never actually flirted with you because-” he paused for a while, unsure if he should continue"-I was afraid. I was afraid of you rejecting me. You know I never was good with words (Y/n), and all those chicks- they were just a way for me to forget what I never could have.You.“ he sighed running a hand down his face "I know this probably is kind of late but damn- I have always liked you, ok? Like really liked you and I-” he started speaking again but you cut him off.

“You like me?” you asked with wide eyes “You like me?”

“Yeah, yeah I do and I- if you want to, we could…” he trailed scratching the back of his head.

You bit your lip not sure if you should do what you were thinking but decided to do so, either way. Without a second thought you grabbed him by his shirt and crashed your lips to his.

His eyes widened in the beginning but soon tarted to respond. His hands traveled up your arms to your neck and cupped your face, goosebumps were created on your skin.

“Sorry I just-” you whispered out of breath as soon as you both pulled away, heat rising in your cheeks.

“Still haven’t realized the effect you have on me, have you?” he asked with a small smirk and you frowned a little bit. You opened your mouth to question him but soon you got the answer to your question. Your eyes followed his, down to his pants and you quickly averted them, blushing even more as soon as you saw the bulge in his pants.

Dean only chuckled and kissed your cheek softly.

“I didn’t know that you felt of me that way” you mumbled and he laughed softly.

“Obviously you’re as much clueless as beautiful” he smiled and pecked your lips.

You laughed and looked down at your hands “Thank you Dean” you mumbled after a while of silence.

“No need to thank me princess. You know it’s the truth” he smiled “Right?” his smile fluttered for a split second.

“Yeah, Dean. I know” you smiled at him and closed the distance between you.

You hugged tightly and you buried your face in his chest, breathing in his scent.

“Now, how about we get you dressed before you catch a cold, hm?” he asked through your hair.

“Or maybe we could get rid of these too?” he asked with a smirk and you rolled your eyes.

“Dean!” you said and he laughed.

“What baby?” he asked.

“You’re an asshole” you mumbled and his chest vibrated as he laughed more.

He hugged you more tightly and you sighed in content. Every bad thought about yourself disappearing from your mind as if it was never there. Because in Dean’s arms you actually felt good enough for him and that’s what mattered to you.

4

“Come on Sammy” Dean’s voice echoed through the almost dead silence of the bunker.

“Let’s finish this game” you added, walking side by side with the new, demon self of Dean. He wasn’t the only one that was new. It was you too.

When Dean had turned into demon you had too. Hard to explain, yes, but it was not that you cared anyway. You liked the disease and you didn’t want to change anything. You wanted everything to stay as it had come to be.

So when Sam had grabbed you and Dean you were, to say the least, pissed off. You were having a hell of a lot fun with Dean, wreaking havoc and - why not - having fun in the meanwhile. Fun times with each other were definitely included.

Although if you were still human you would have screamed at Dean, now that you were a demon and found yourself to care less, Dean beating a guy to death - literally - seemed to turn you on. Crazy but true, nonetheless. Maybe it was the blood lust in the new you speaking after all but in the end… you didn’t care.

Sam had ruined that fun for you though when he managed to capture the both of. Slowly and surely trying to turn you back into yourselves. The purified blood certainly had started doing its job but what Sam hadn’t planned on was that the more of that thing he injected into your system, both yours and Dean’s, the less power the traps had.

To sum it up? You and Dean were both free and ready to… make little Sammy pay for not doing as told.

“You know we could keep this up all day” you said with a smirk, swinging the hammer in your hands.

You looked at Dean and he looked at you with a devilish smirk of his own.

Both your eyes turned pitch black.

[Request by Anon]

4

7.02 || 10.19

Dean is the constant in Sam’s life, the one who’s always there without fail. It makes sense that Sam is only able to distinguish between reality and illusion in the presence of his biggest support. He knows that Dean is there, Dean has always been there, and Dean is steady, supportive, real- even in the midst of terrifying distortions that can make Sam lose faith in every other part of his life.