graphic: p

things i want in the other vlogs

lance

  • going in depth about his insecurities and how it makes him feel in relation to the team. maybe disclosing that the team’s teasing doesn’t make him feel good
  • since it’s not directly tied to the show, maybe some strong hints to bi lance
  • mentioning his family 
  • talking about his culture

shiro (or clone shiro)

  • strong hints that something isn’t quite right with him since he’s been back
  • discussing his headaches
  • having memories but not remembering how to do certain things
  • believing he really is shiro

allura 

  • being able to talk about her grief and letting herself feel it all instead of having to ‘stay strong for the sake of the mission’
  • mention some things she used to do back on altea. 
  • show that she wants to connect with the paladins
  • showing how she feels with coran and going in depth about how she feels about being the last two alteans

hunk

  • talking about what engineering means to him, maybe talking about his time during the garrison and how excited he was when he got in
  • shows his anger towards zarkon and the way the galra treat innocents, adding onto the balmera arc he had in s1
  • mentioning shay and how happy he was to have met her
  • talking about his fears and anxieties 

pidge

  • talking about her family and how hard it is for her sometimes being so young and trying to save the universe on top of not knowing if her family is okay or even alive
  • adorable and nerdy science jokes
  • A ROVER MENTION
  • giving some depth to her and her relationship to matt, and even saying she views voltron as her family as well

Sometimes, I miss you. This lower-than-low feeling in my gut. Swinging like a pendulum. 

I think of the good times. The first time we laid eyes on each other, at the airport arrivals driveway. You came out from the car wearing a maroon shirt. I was wearing a maroon dress. The flowers you gave me… maroon. You kissed me like I had never been kissed before and I felt like I was going to puke up my heart. How emotional it was to make love to you for the first time that I started crying. How free and vulnerable and safe I felt being with you. Taking the dive to move here for you, even with a bad feeling in my gut and my intuition telling me otherwise. Sitting on my couch, drunk off $4 red wine, staring into each others eyes and crying because we loved each other so much and how unreal it felt to be with you.

Then I remember how we got here. The nights you wouldn’t answer your phone. You were at her house. I called you endlessly, staying up until 3am waiting for you to come home to me. Night, after night. Remembering asking you to bring me a snack at work because it was on your way home while I was on shift, and I hadn’t eaten all day, but you were too tired…and in reality, I just wanted to see you for 10 minutes and steal a kiss from you. How I was vulnerable and open to you, and you betrayed me. How I turned into your mother, your assistant, your calendar. Ensuring that you were completing your tasks and fees and fines, paying off your tickets and dealing with paperwork and bills on time because it broke my heart to see you in the position you were in. How you never brought me flowers, once, besides when we first met. How you didn’t respect my space or my belongings. How you took me for granted for so long. How me, worrying for you, I thought, was such a bad thing, but it distracted me from my own anxieties which are now coming tumbling down around me now that I’m stuck in the silence of my own mind. I loved you so much. 

We’re two different people living two different realities with two different futures and we hit that fork in the road. What hurts the most is knowing that you love someone with all your heart but can’t make it work. When you spend an hour on the phone, trying to figure out how the fuck you can make it work, but getting frustrated when no solution is found. Then staying, in silence, crying, on the phone for another half hour because it was time to say a forever goodbye, but you werent ready to say goodbye forever to your best friend.

I’m hurting still. Everyday I tempt myself with checking on you on social media, and checking her instagram too, but I know I will just be breaking my own heart. It just echoes in my mind that you still love me and told me that while you’re laying with her. And how you told me that you were just so scared and alone….and that she definitely likes you more than you her… but. You have to keep your bed warm, I guess.

I can’t even think about someone else touching me without wanting to cry. The thought of being vulnerable with someone else feels like a sword through my gut. I can’t even look another man on a date straight in the eyes without just feeling an overwhelming hurt. 

It’s time to move on and i’m struggling. The only cure, I know, is to write, and to gush. These are all things I want to tell you, but I can’t. I send you emails with little thoughts here and there since that is all we do to talk whenever it’s “business matters” or something serious.  I need to move on but I don’t want to. I’m trying to move on but I can’t. I just don’t understand how you could so easily.

i think my grandma deserves the “grandma of the century” award jdkjdjdkf

so my family was trash talking some ugly nazi politician and my grandma was happy to talk shit about her, until my grandpa said “she’s a lesbian…” and my grandma SLAPPED him and was like “joseph! you should accept people however they are!” and my mum was like “she actually is, though” and my grandma was like “yes but i didn’t like his tone! it was so condescending!”

and i wanted to start crying right there and then because i’m not even out to any of them yet and my grandma was still ready to slap my grandpa to defend lesbians