Signalling Value of Second Date Invitations
I just had a good okcupid date, and the boy in question gave me quite a good invitation to a second thing. The right amount of interesting, the right amount of romantic, etc. One possible reaction, the one I think TV wants me to have, is “that’s so personal”, and it being cheapened if he’d used it on too many other people.
This seems ridiculous to me. Good second date ideas are hard to come by. He’s spent an hour with me. However amazing I may be, he can’t possibly know more right now than that I have potential. Throwing out a high quality date idea after just one use would be inefficient.
Additionally, while appropriately interesting and romantic, this date idea is not *especially* well suited to me. It’s not bad, but it doesn’t contain any hint he holds an accurate model of me in his head and acts on it. Which is still fine, on account of “he’s only known me for an hour.” If he was doing better than educated guesses right now it would be creepy.
I nonetheless like getting invitations of this quality, because they indicate skill in flirting and dating. The baseline flirting skill for men in my social group is… not high. I appreciate seeing a thing done well and it’s fun to be flirted with. Simply inviting me and having a specific plan for us is more agentiness than I usually see.