Salazar: Fuck Gryffindors

Students: Fuck Gryffindors

Quidditch Team: Fuck Gryffindors

Draco: Fuck I’m tRYING

  • Ginny: I'm cold.
  • Harry: Here, have my scarf.
  • Hermione: Yeah, it's a little chilly.
  • Draco: What? (takes off his coat) I told you to bring more layers but of course you never listen and now (piles scarves on Hermione) I've got to make sure you don't FREEZE to death. (takes somebody else's hat) Could you be any more annoying? Ugh.

being a real rebel is when you click on a fanfic that hasn’t been updated since 2005

[Harry’s phone rings. He puts it on Speaker]

Harry: Harry Potter. Hello.

Draco: Hi baby. It’s Draco.

[Ron, Hermione and Ginny all look up, alarmed.]

Harry: [embarrassed] All right.

Draco: Are you coming round tonight?

Harry: I can’t I’m going up to the three Broomsticks with the lads.

Draco: Oh come round first. We’ll have a bit of time together.

Harry: All right.

Draco: Have some fun.

Harry: Yep. Okay.

Draco: Are you going to bring the toys again?

[Harry embarrased, hurriedly picks the phone up]

Harry: Erm, Yeah… okay… yeah… look forward to… doing it to you too. All right, bye.

[Harry puts the phone down. There is a stunned silence]

Ron: The Toys?

Harry: Shut up.

Ron: What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo? It’s not Boggle is it?

Harry: Shut up.

Ron: If it’s Kerplunk I’m coming round.

Harry: It was a private phone call, so…

Hermione: Well, don’t put it on speakerphone then Harry.

[Awkward silence]

Ron: Is it Hungry Hippos?

Harry: fuck off Ron!

  • malfoy: dear diary, today i talked to potter again
  • malfoy: it was weird that my dad worked for the guy who killed his dad, but i think i made good progress towards making him my friend!
  • malfoy: for example, i only insulted his mother twice, and didn't at all mention granger's horrible teeth or how poor weasley is
  • malfoy: i think i'm doing well! he'll definitely want to be my friend by the end of the year!

One of my favs <3

Artist: unknown