Mastering yoga takes time….In the beginning I wanted too much too soon…I ended up hurting myself. You need to let your body tell you when.. Let your body guide you. Hard work and discipline really pay off. Yoga is also about meditation. Reflecting about your life, your growth. Its about self forgiveness and loving yourself.
I’m a woman who runs with the wolves..They represent so much of how I feel, Of what I want in life. Duality…Following your heart, gut and female intuition. Soft, wholesome girl and the wild passionate women inside..Play and love. Instinct and challenge. Home and adventure. First, I want to be able to not only live, but thrive, on my own and with someone. Being alone has a way of guiding you to those creaky, cobwebby, eggshelly places in our being. To Be in it, truly without attachment or dependency. Sharing my life with someone..being loved and love in return..also let me evolve and grow into a stronger person. I am so thankful for the special souls in my world who have been here with me, walked this path, together, with love and respect, with complete allowance and acceptance. I am equally grateful for the lessons learnt through great heart ache and pain. Lessons I learned from immense love and passion. This is what I know: in this life, a steady love, and a place to call home, are far more precious than any earthly possessions or wealth in this world. I will use what I have for growth, change for others and myself. My grandparents gave me that gift and I will pay it forward! I’ve been loved and left heartbroken, alone and together…May this next chapter be one of wild love, adventure, and most of all ..home.
“So how do you become a witch? Are you born one or does something happen to make you one?” Stiles asked as you both sat in his infamous battered up, blue Jeep, watching the front door of the building that one of the alleged vampires had walked into the hour before, while the last group was on patrol.
“I was born one, but sometimes you can be made one later in life. It’s all kind of a long story..” You explained.
“I mean, we’ve got three more hours of this until the sun comes up…” Stiles prodded.
You laughed quietly. “Right.. Well, the gift is inherited… I guess would be the best way to describe it. I got it from my Grandfather on my Dad’s side.. and there are rules about how you receive it.”
“What are those?” Stiles inquired.
“My grandpa Jack, he died during open heart surgery, on the operating table on May 12th, 1979, at 7:31PM. I was born May 12th, 1992, at 7:31PM…”
nominative: if you were choosing a new name, what would you pick?
(please don’t reblog)
Here’s a thing about choosing names and happy coincidences.
I picked this username almost exactly ten years ago. I chose it for no other reason than because it was an elaborate pun on my real-life initials. A couple years after I picked it, I met a woman named Rose.
My grandparents had an absolute gift for adopting everyone they met–they lived on a ground-floor apartment with a big sliding door that looked straight out onto a busy pedestrian walkway next to a major street, and they frequently left that door wide open and beckoned passersby in to share a meal or a conversation. Every time I spoke with them, I’d get the latest scoop on my rapidly expanding family. “This is our son, he’s from Guatemala; this is our daughter, her other family didn’t support her transition but we love her dearly and tell her every chance we get; this is our niece, she’s running for city council; this is our grand-son, he’s in prison now, but aren’t the drawings he mails us lovely?” I remember letting myself in to check on my grandmother after her surgery and finding two 19-year-old musclebound jock dudes standing in the middle of the living room, staring at me warily. “We’re here to check on Grandma Ev,” they explained, and I actually had to do a quick mental summation of all my cousins before working out that they were the college kids who’d moved into the apartment next door and had therefore been adopted by proximity.
One of the people who fell into my grandparents’ orbit was a woman named Rose. She’d had an unbelievable series of horrors in her life; after enduring terrifying abuse in her job as an ER nurse in Chicago, she moved out to where we lived, and just as her life was starting to get back on track, she was behind the wheel in the car accident that killed her best friend. That was the tip of the iceberg. Very nearly every terrible thing that could happen to a person conspired to weigh her down. I don’t even know how she formally became my grandparents’ adoptive daughter, but they sat with her when she needed them, and listened to her, and told her, again and again, we love you, we love you, we love you. Around that time, I’d started bringing pizza and beer to my grandparents’ place every Wednesday night, and so sometimes I’d show up at the same time as Rose was around, and we’d all have our pizza and beer and talk about the unbearable horrors of life.
And despite all the deeply, deeply personal things we’d discussed over the months, Rose was never as nervous as she was when she asked me if there was any chance I could teach her piano. She’d never played piano before, and decided to jump in and give it a shot as a 50-year-old beginner. I was delighted, and gave her some of the much-loved and well-worn books of sonatinas that had pulled me in when I was a kid, and we practiced on my grandparents’ keyboard on Wednesday nights. She was a wonderful student.
We lost touch over the years, after my grandfather’s funeral, but her general trajectory was onward and upward, so I’m confident she’s out there doing wonderful things. And I guess I feel weirdly honored to have an online presence with a name tied irrevocably in my mind to that spirit of having been entirely broken by the world, hearing enough i-love-yous that you finally start to believe it could be true, and at the end of it all working up the courage to ask some kid to teach you to play the piano, because it’s never too late to start again.
I saw your notes on the outrageous post about the 1% and I couldn't help but be curious about they things your friend experienced...
Hi there! So, yeah, it’s kind of a freakish story, because I
went to high school with this girl - we were in the same class, and
she was so sweet - the bookwormish and Did you know there’s
a wasp called Aha ha and ‘save the whales’ kind of
student, you know? And after graduating, she studied maths, and then
we sort of lost touch - I heard she was working in London when I was
living in the UK, so I reached out and got a very weird email back.
We finally met on a train, just randomly, about five years after
that, and that’s when she told me what had happened to her.
[Disclaimer: I’m not saying all banks and consulting companies
are cults, but if how much money you make depends on how many people
you screw over, then maybe it’s normal you attract a crowd of
psychopaths and pathological narcissists, and things generally go
downhill from there.]
kitchen table; gift from grandparents; ugly faux-maple that I want to resand someday. Comes with four (4) chairs in the same shade. The table is basically ‘crockpot/toaster holder’ + ‘doll workbench’ and is thus usually covered in naked barbies. The chairs are more often used as Stuff Holders than places to rest your butt- right now I have my clean laundry, a cloak, and several sweaters hanging off of mine.
two TV trays, which are currently holding up the microwave.
one of a set of flour/sugar/etc. canisters, currently on top of said microwave
Ugly 70s entertainment center, also a gift from grandparents. Contains zero TV and many dolls.
Futon, also gift, beige. Covered in pillows, mostly bright and tacky (right now there is a blue pillow covered in bananas and a pillow that’s made of bright patchwork and beads).
THE CHAIR AND A HALF, AKA HEAVEN. It’s a giant overstuffed armchair that was a present from my uncle. It is upholstered in really ugly velvety patchwork 80s fabric in dark red, brown, and dull green. I ADORE IT. It is big and comfy and the perfect place to read. Right now it is also covered in pillows, one of which has different clashy ugly 80s fabric and one which has a skull on it.
A black Cube Organizer from target, which I’m using as a bookshelf. It was the cheapest shelf unit they had; I suspect but cannot confirm that the reason is that you’re supposed to buy a lot of expensive cube boxes to go inside.
Two tables with a little shelf above them. I use one as The Home for my keys, wallet, glasses cloth, + etc. The other holds a big, ugly, broken lamp and a couple of dragons. I’m thinking about taking the lamp to the thrift store.
Ugly faux-mahogany 70s desk, which matches the entertainment centre.
Black office chair, chosen mainly because it was big and plush and ergonomically sensible.
Trash can, ugly, white, gift from grandparents, tea-stained.
Bed. Gift from grandparents. Same vaguely-dark-but-not-dark-enough-to-be-cool wood. Massive.
Nightstand, matches bed, nothing much to say.
Armoire. Currently, mostly, a holding place for dolls, sweaters, and socks.
TV stand, currently being used as an altar to pagan gods. As such, is usually covered in candles, weird little statues, and a Tardis.
(why yes, I did mainly make this post to brag about the fact that my house looks like a halloween store had babies with one of those weird stores that sells statuettes, bongs, incense, and fake katanas, and then that baby crashed into a library)
a cage full of miniature plastic skulls. When you press a button, their eyes light up. It is currently hanging from my ceiling fan.
a tacky halloween sign with a ghost and several bats on it that says BOO TO YOU
a selection of miniature medieval animals growing from plants, cut out of an art museum magazine and stuck to the wall with blue-tack, scattered about the apartment as a fun easter egg
a poster from Dishonored for Bitterleaf Crematorium and Fluid Works, with a skull, a raven, and a rat on it.
a map of Middle Earth from a pack of Tolkien oracle cards
a map of the world in a faux-vintage style
a sample of cloth from threadless that is a brocade pattern made up of cthulhus, stuck to the wall with blue-tack in ugly fashion. I keep meaning to frame it.
an ad for Twinings tea, given to me by high school bff
a card from @evilsupplyco, featuring a bat hanging upside down that says ‘please let me sleep for 15 more minutes’
a photograph of auguste rodin, in which he looks rather like rasputin, cut from art museum pamphlet
a picture of rodin’s Gates Of Hell, from same pamphlet
a selection of pictures of flemish death statues, from a different museum pamphlet
a postcard from said museum of a medieval tapestry
a collage I made of the War In Heaven cut from different parts of assorted musum magazines (noticing a trend here?)
a collection of miniature ceramic and resin dragons, most of which live on my nightstand and bookshelves
a set of busts of Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman
a bust… with articulated arms… of Yoda, from the Phantom Menace pizza hut/taco bell cups they made for Episode 1
a small army of dolls- mostly Barbie and Monster/Ever After High, but I have a couple of ball-jointed dolls, an American Girl doll, and a knockoff American Girl from Target
a small army of plushies
a portrait of a dragon, belonging to my headmate
a number of sketches, also belonging to my headmate
a small statuette of a knight, ditto
a canvas saying ROCK on it over a british flag, given to me by aforementioned bff
a small cross-stitched canvas with the word ‘fuck’ on it, made by yours truly
MY PERSONAL SKULL. His name is Yorick and he wears absurd hats.
We’re doing an early Christmas at my grandparents this year, so me and my sister decided to hire a photographer for my grandparents Christmas gift.
We’re going to have them come to the house for a couple hours just to capture intimate family time, and then we’re going to make an album for them to have, as well as my mom. We just want our visit to be a celebration of life, no crying or being sad.
I’m just praying he isn’t too beat up from chemo to want to participate, he starts on the 15th.
This whole situation has made me think about how many things don’t really matter. You can do everything by the book and still get screwed over. This was supposed to be my grandpas time to relax and enjoy his life, and then he gets fucked over like this. It just doesn’t make any sense, and there’s no answers so it won’t ever make sense. We all just have to accept this shit fate he’s been dealt and carry on.
Aries: This grandparent still has some spunk and might be very active for an elderly person. They are always busy golfing, shopping, or maybe even traveling in their elder years. They can be a fun seeker and will treat their grandchildren to events like the movies or an amusement park more so than money or gifts. They love to entertain their grandchildren and when their grandchildren are much younger they are likely to give a lot of advice through the phone or short visits rather than full on babysitting or nurturing (unless that is needed of course). This grandparent can be sassy and blunt in their old years. Some Aries grandparents can be MIA a lot, once their children are out of the house they see it as freedom to live their own life.
Taurus: This is a grandparent who probably had a hard time letting their child go in the first place but when doing so might have learned how to detach a bit. So they will probably respect their children’s philosophy on parenting and will give them space. They are protective and caring grandparents. They are the grandparents who always have that one piece of advice they repeat over and over again. They might love to cook and is definitely one who will spoil their grandchildren. But know that a Taurus grandparent who hasn’t learned how to let go can be critical of their children’s and grandchildren‘s choices and could try to step in as a surrogate parent.
Gemini: This is one crazy, fun-loving grandparents. They say the darnedest thing, can be kooky, and despite their old age has enough energy to keep up with his or her grandchildren. A really involved Gemini grandparent always tells wild stories to their grandchildren and wants to keep tabs on their education and career. But a Gemini grandparent can become distant to where their main line of communication are phone calls and holiday cards.
Cancer: This is super grandma or grandpa who is very nurturing, likes to play the caretaker role even if it is not needed, is likely to make wonderful food and lots of it, spoils the children, and could be very crafty with things like knitting or even with hardware. They encourage creativity. They can be over protective of their children and grandchildren and might be paranoid and overstep their boundaries. This might be a grandparent who begs their children to not let a grandchild do something or go somewhere. They might unintentionally instill worry into their grandchildren and might never trust a son or daughter in law. But this is a grandparent who has great intuition and is one to guide their children and grandchildren.
Leo: This is a very generous grandparent who only lets their closest family members, most likely children and grandchildren in their will. They could even feel bad if their grandchildren leave a visit without money or a gift. This grandparent has a lot of pride for their family and for sure uses ALL of their bragging rights! When their grandchildren are little they like to nurture their imagination and creativity. The Leo grandparent is always down to play make believe. But this grandparent can be bossy, is the one to complain and make a fuss when the family goes out to dinner, is easily irritable, and could give into family gossip.
Virgo: This grandparent is a total meddler. On one end they are caring, helpful, is always there to change diapers or hep with grocery shopping but on the other end they are a worrier, can be super critical and always stepping in, and they are likely to be judgmental of a daughter or son in law to where they actually put them down. This grandparent is likely to call and visit a lot if not everyday. But this is also the grandparent who always knows a home remedy, gets the family out of trouble, and despite all their helicopter grand parenting is there for the grandchildren.
Libra: This is the grandparent who is all about spoiling their grandchildren. They come with gifts and food and might even take their grandchildren on a vacation if they have the resources and time. They are also one to likely have a nickname like Na-Na or Pops. When it really comes down to it many Libra grandparents have a goal to pass down knowledge or a skill rather than money or possessions (this isn’t to say they would not leave money or valuables). For example they might leave their grandchild a violin and also teach them how to play or on a bigger scale teach them how to fish and then leave behind a fishing supply store. But the Libra grandparent can sometimes play favorites despite their fair nature, can go against the parents wishes like giving a child candy when they aren’t suppose to have any, or have their moments when they are distant.
Scorpio: This is the grandparent who might still be the head of the family and dispenses advice and resources but also controls the parent generation. They play an active role and might even live with their children and grandchildren. They are compassionate and giving grandparents. But this is a grandparent who might over step their boundaries and who might have certain expectations for their family. Watch out for the Scorpio’s temper and grudge-holding trait!
Sagittarius: This is an elderly individual who might be reluctant to get highly involved in their grandchildren lives. They may be a grandma or grandpa who goes by their first name. When they do come to visit they might like to treat their family to a dinner out and comes with lavish gifts but is the type to only come and visit once or twice a year. The more involved Sagittarius grandparent is the one to tell wild stories and loves to exaggerate, nurtures their grand-kids competitive and fun side, and is good at making the whole family laugh.
Capricorn: Capricorn is a very formal grandparent who can find it hard to relate to the younger generation. They love their family but can be stern. They actually have a good balance of caring for a grandchild but not getting overly involved in the parents job. They give advice when asked for it and might really push organization, respect, and manners on the grandchildren. But this can be a controlling, judgmental, and out of touch grandparent.
Aquarius: This individual is likely to be a very distant grandparent. They check up on their grandchildren lives every year or so and usually through a phone call. They might not be the best at advice and guidance and is essentially extended family. A more involved Aquarius grandma or granddad still has a distant aura about them. They can be a bit unpredictable with what they are going to say or what wisdom they are about to impart on you. They have a fun side for an old person and might even be the type to buy the kids an xbox for Christmas or take them gambling when they are of age. They are all about life experiences and can encourage slight rebellion ;o
Pisces: This is a very nurturing, intuitive, and even wise grandparent. They have some oddities about them and might be that grandma who is all about the home remedies and even spiritual medicine or the grandpa who has a weird trick to catch a big fish. They are a clever elder who hands down their legacy of tricks and tips to their family. But this grandparent knows how to manipulate and does many things behind the scenes. The Pisces grandparent can also have random freak outs in their old age and is the king/queen of guilt tripping.
On Friday, my grandfather and his cancer were placed on hospice in Texas. My mom, aunt and I placed ourselves on Saturday airplanes to Dallas. In the same bedroom where my Grandmother died in May, we gathered around him. His recent morphine dose meant we spent much of the afternoon watching his closed eyes and trying to decipher his inaudible words. Despite the meds, his pain was so great that holding his hand caused him to wince. I could only witness his physical pain and his daughters’ emotional pain in 10-minute shifts before dissolving into a mascara puddle.
Each of us took turns with him until 3pm on Sunday, when we all found ourselves at his bedside. I wondered aloud if we should share a few favorite memories of our 93-year-old patriarch, for whom it was always 5 o’clock somewhere?
I led off with summers at the beach house in San Clemente, where Gramp would send us grandkids down the street with a $5-dollar bill for ice-cream cones and a lotto ticket for him. Waiting my turn to brush his silky gray hair before sleeping on banana chairs under the stars, side-by-side with my cousins. Waking in the morning to sunburned cheeks and a view of the ocean.
Mom chimed in with stories of crewing with him in sailboat races (and winning a few trophies). Auntie wrapped things up with her adult appreciation of his support for her childhood equestrian hobby (what little girl doesn’t want to ride horses every afternoon? Her, apparently.) Our tear-choked ineloquence aside, we attempted to thank him for being the strong anchor at the center of these family memories.
When mom and my auntie exited for more Kleenex, I touched Gramp’s hand softly and told him I had to catch a flight. His eyes flew open—had he actually heard our memory dump?—and asked Where?
Back to New York, Gramp.
Right, he said.
I love you and can’t wait to see you and Grandmy again.
Me too, he said, making eye contact. Get better soon.
You too, I echoed.
Ha ha, he laughed.
We both knew I wasn’t sick and that he wasn’t going to get better, but I kissed his cheek and stepped out of the room, as if this wasn’t the last time we’d see each other on Earth.
Those moments of his lucidity carried me to the airport and back to the City, where I woke to the news that he died last night.
And, as they say on the show “Archer”: I have something for this.
The three legal-sized envelopes my Grandpa gave me in September, when I visited for his birthday. Three envelopes containing every letter, postcard and press clipping I’ve sent my grandparents since childhood. My Grandma meticulously filed all correspondence from her kids and grandkids, and after her death, Gramp decided to re-read the contents of these envelopes…and graciously present them to each of us.
Other than writing Gram’s obit, I delayed my journey down memory lane until today because my grandparents are inextricably entwined. After retirement, they rarely went anywhere without the other. If Gramp ate spicy food, Grandmy would get the indigestion. When Grandma read a book, its plot would settle in Gramp’s brain. I didn’t know how to approach grief for just one of them…so I didn’t. Until today.
The envelopes’ contents are now spread across my living-room floor, and so is my grief. It has pressed buttons on Pandora to flood my ears with Benny Goodman and Sinatra. It’s opened up photo albums to shake pictures loose. And it’s reached into the liquor cabinet to bring out the Angel’s Envy whiskey, over which I write these words shamelessly because 5 o’clock somewhere, right Gramp?
My wonderful boyfriend of 11 years, Preston, and myself are looking to fund a trip up to Montana to see his family. Earlier this year his grandfather was diagnosed with liver cancer. He has been through a number of treatments to prolong his life, and for a while time it seemed like he was going to be around for another couple of years. Recently we got the news that the cancer came back, and has tripled in strength. No one really knows how long he has left, but we have significantly less time than we originally expected… Preston is very close to his grandparents, and we don’t get to visit them very often because traveling just isn’t in our budget unless it’s for business (I go to conventions here and there to sell my work). We would stay with Preston’s family to make things a little cheaper, but there is just no room for us. Plus it would be a burden to have a house guest when his grandfather is
We know we need to get up there to see him as soon as possible, time is against us.
The earliest we can get up to Montana is mid October, and with my dad’s generous help we booked 2 plane tickets and I reserved a hotel. My dad is a really hard working guy (TOO hard sometimes), and I intend on paying him back in full so that he doesn’t feel like he has to over-work to pay for this trip for us.
I currently can’t take on any more commissions, but I do have a ton of prints to sell! I have 8.5″ X 11″ prints, and JUMBO 13″ X 19″ prints, and I just ordered materials to start making a nice in-between size at 11″ X 14″. I have a 15% off coupon that is valid through till September 19th, and I need to get as many print orders as possible to repay my dad’s generosity!
Use coupon code MONTANAMOUNTAINS at checkout to receive the 15% discount in my Etsy shop.
If you can’t buy, please consider helping by spreading the word! Or if you’d like to donate instead, my paypal email is wolfnymph(at)gmail(dot)com. If we manage to make enough to repay my dad during this sale, any extra is going to be given directly to Preston’s grandparents as a gift. I would host the sale longer, but I will need to close down shop to travel to Rainfurrest at the end of this month, and can’t manage both. I appreciate any help offered, thank you all for taking the time to read! <3