"she's the worst person i've ever met. i want to travel the world with her."
“sometimes when you make an omelet you’ve gotta break a few eggs. what’s the alternative? no omelets at all? who wants to live in that kind of world? maybe birds. then all their babies would live.”
"i just slept seven hours, which is twice as long as i usually sleep, so i'm a little disoriented"
"i am not crying, okay? i’m allergic to jerks!"
"i am big enough to admit that i am often inspired by myself."
"if i keep my body moving and my mind occupied at all times, i will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair"
“yes, i’m a hunter… and, it’s 'you' season.”
"i think i may have found a project i’d actually enjoy doing. helping these cats and dogs. they should be rewarded for not being people. i hate people."
"when life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma's jewelry, and you go clubbin'"
"i don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are..... actually it's gonna bug me if i don't."
"i’m a feminist, okay? i would never ever go to a strip club. i’ve gone on record that if i had to have a stripper’s name it would be Equality."
"leslie, i typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems."
remember in middle school for homecoming week, Gender Bender day, girls as boys, boys as girls. most of the boys skipped or half-assed it, but a couple of the guys, some pretty popular, went all out. grandma clothes n jewelry, old lady hats, floral patterns. and they were the center of attention, in a good way. everyone loved it. & what’s crazy was how much respect those guys got for doing it. yeah, this was before the last 10 years of lgbtq discussion, maybe at the heart of it the point was hey a guy in a dress, isn’t that funny. but most of the humor was just at how brazen and enthusiastic these guys were and the boys who participated got a lot of admiration. idk middle school sucked but that memory makes me smile
ok now ask me about the talent show where i sang while my big dude english teacher dressed in drag & did the hula
There was a post going around a while ago about how furbies would look good in grandma costume jewelry, so here are these three, modeling costume jewelry my grandma gave to me from her jewelry collection when I was little.
Scots and Recreation: Bonnie Prince Charlie and Jean-Ralphio Saperstein
Hair. Talking about daddy. Delusions of grandeur. Clubs and ladies. Elaborate schemes to get that paper. Showing up in the middle of the night to crash on your couch because “technically I’m homelessss.” Immediately spending/losing all the money he just got from you.
A face that needs to be punched.