grandma pat

Lost Traveler || Mingyu || Oneshot

Originally posted by mountean

Word Count: 2247

Genre: fluff, witch!au

Summary: You didn’t think witches were the scum of the earth, but you definitely did not have a very great opinion about them. That is, until you get lost in the forest and meet one.

Minghao // Woozi // 


You had always heard about the guardian in the forest but you never really believed it. It was all just rumors. Why in the world would a witch spend all their time in a forest, guiding lost travelers to safety? You found it unlikely. Witches were the most powerful being on earth and must have better things to do than that. You could imagine maybe this witch passed by often and he did the easy deed of guiding travelers the right way but actually staying around and helping? Impossible. No one is actually that nice. That’s what you believed.

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Callout post for the ghost of my dead grandma patsy

1. Made the temperature of the room drop, now I gotta put on socks

2. Feels like she keeps peering over my shoulder, probably muttering under her breath about my homosexual agenda

3. As stated before, left me 200 beanie babies in her will because I was four at the time and apparently that’s the only thing I liked

4. ??? is naturally bringing down the vibes ???

5. Is a ghost and shouldn’t keep lounging around in her mobile home like it’s not hers anymore pay rent grandma pats

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

Sooo. I needed some practice after my writer’s block so I decided to write this random tumblr prompt and make it slightly bokuroo. Please don’t shoot me. Enjoy!


“Grandma, what the fuck.”

Language, Tetsurou,” his grandmother scolds goodnaturedly.

Kuroo stares and stares and stares, because seriously, what the fuck, grandma.

“Hey hey!” The man beaming behind her waves a hand enthusiastically in greeting. “Nice house!”

“It’s uh, not mine.” Kuroo says awkwardly, and pats his grandma gently on the shoulder.

“Thank you, dear,” she also beams.

Why the fuck is everyone beaming, Kuroo thinks, what is so great about this. The attic is a bit of a steep descent, and at his grandmother’s age, she really shouldn’t be climbing up and down with those knees.

“I got it,” the man and his incredibly thick arms literally block the way when Kuroo moves to lend his grandma an arm.

“Right,” Kuroo grits. It’s my grandmother, he thinks viciously, but the guy looks so damn happy it’d be like kicking a puppy.

‘The guy’ is a bit of an understatement, to be quite honest. Maybe grandma’s just left her specs at the kitchen table again, but those weird horns- not to mention the black and white hair- are definitely not ‘guy’-like. They’re… evil-like, and Kuroo is really worried about his grandmother.

Those claws don’t look too comfortable either, but her thick jumper solves that problem. At least he’s got proper feet, Kuroo supposes, it’d be a bit awkward getting about with hooves.

“Satan?”

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anonymous asked:

"So I'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties..." (lmao sorry i just thought of that vine)

Oh my. Okay let’s see what I can do….


“Dai-chan, I’m so excited to meet your boyfriend.”

Daichi laughed uncomfortably as he led his grandmother down the sidewalk.

“I heard from Fumiko that he is just exquisite. And an artist no less? Dai-chan, I never would have expected you to end up with an artsy type. Then again, they say opposites attract…”

“Yeah…” Daichi stared straight ahead. “I guess that’s… true.”

“What’s wrong, Sweetie? You seem a little on edge.”

“No! I’m not… uhm… I’m really happy you’re here,” Daichi insisted. “I uh… I just wish I got more notice. I could’ve closed the bar and we could have gone out to dinner…”

“Oh it’s fine,” she waved her hand nonchalantly. “I’d like to see you work anyway. I’ll just sit with your boyfriend and bond with him.”

“Ah… okay. That sounds like a good plan…”

No it didn’t.

Sugawara and Daichi’s sweet innocent, pure grandmother who spent all her time pressing flowers and knitting… sitting together and bonding? He could only imagine the horrors of having the two mingle.

His grandmother hadn’t even warned him that she was coming to town. One minute, he was making a drink for Hanamaki, the next, Fumiko was calling him and demanding he pick her mother up at the airport.

He had left the bar in Asahi’s hands and immediately run off to meet her, but now he was regretting it. He should have had Sugawara come with him. That way, he could have explained on the ride there and Sugawara would know to hold his tongue around the woman.

He should have at least sent him a text message when he had the chance. A quick warning of, do not talk about raunchy gay sex around my eighty-year-old grandmother. 

Daichi was completely unprepared.

“Oh my, the bar looks so nice,” his grandmother observed as they approached the front door. “So clean. Though I still think you should have painted it yellow. Such a bright color would surely bring in the customers. I used to tell that to Akifumi all the time but he insisted on keeping it that ugly brown color.”

“I’ve got my hands full as it is,” Daichi said. “I don’t think I need any more customers.”

She chuckled.

Daichi released her arm and opened the front door. Low classic rock music floated out onto the street as his grandmother tottered inside. Daichi took a deep breath and followed.

“Oh Dai-chan… it’s still so beautiful,” she pressed her hands together in front of her, staring around the bar which used to belong to her late husband with tears in her eyes. “Fumi would be so proud to see this…”

Daichi smiled and pressed a hand to her back, “Thanks, Grandma.”

She patted at her eyes and cleared her throat. She smiled up at him, thick wrinkles around her eyes deepening. “Now… where’s your boyfriend?”

Daichi’s eyes drifted to the circular booth on the left side of the bar, where Sugawara sat with Oikawa and Akaashi. He was speaking, expression serious, flapping a hand. Daichi noted that the cocktail in front of him was only half empty, meaning he couldn’t be drunk yet.

Which meant he may very well be having a serious, mature conversation that didn’t involve any sort of mention of genitalia or body fluids. Daichi gulped and smiled down at his grandmother.

“He’s over here,” he took her arm and led her in Sugawara’s direction.

Please be talking about art.

Please be talking about art.

Or politics.

Or anything other than porn.

As they drew near, Sugawara’s voice came into earshot.

“So I’m sitting there… barbeque sauce on my titties…”

Daichi slapped a hand to his forehead.

“And Daichi is like, that shit is five hundred yen a bottle, and then gets mad at me, completely ignoring the fact that my scrumptious, erect penis was wearing a hat of whipped cream and a Twizzler bowtie-”

“That sounds delicious, honestly,” Oikawa interrupted.

“How did you tie the bowtie?” Akaashi asked. “Did you just use one Twizzler or did you have multiple-”

“I cheated. I used frosting to make it sticky and-”

Daichi switched directions, leading his grandmother away from the table, “Actually, Grandma, Suga isn’t here right now… uh…”

“Really? But what about that handsome fellow with the beauty mark-”

“I’ve never seen that man before in my life.”

“Daichi!” Sugawara called from behind.

Daichi closed his eyes and slowed to a stop. His grandmother turned at his side and he slowly did the same, giving Sugawara a warning glare.

“Are you still mad?” he gaped, mouth hanging open. “I said I was sorry! I replaced the bottle of barbeque sauce I wasted and-”

“Suga,” Daichi interrupted, raising his voice. He urged his grandmother up to the table and stopped. Sugawara and the others stared at her quietly. “Meet my grandmother. Nakao Machiko.”

Sugawara’s eyes widened.

Oikawa turned away, covering his mouth as he started sputtering. Akaashi chuckled and hid his eyes behind a hand.

Daichi sighed, “Grandma, this is Sugawara Koushi… my… my boyfriend…”

“Oh fuck!” Sugawara exclaimed and Oikawa’s and Akaashi’s laughter grew.

“Ballsacks!” he said as he climbed to his feet on the booth seat. “No… I mean… oh shit.” He climbed over the table and dropped to the floor in front of them, cheeks bright red. “S-Sorry. I uh… I… don’t usually… uhm…” He scratched the back of his head and then bowed deeply, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nakao-san.”

Machiko laughed and elbowed Daichi, “He’s cute!”

Daichi stared down at her in shock.

Sugawara straightened and Machiko stepped up to him and smoothed her hands over his shoulders, “Look at you. So pretty!”

Sugawara smiled, flipping the switch from inappropriate to charming in an instant, “Funny, I was just about to say the same thing about you.”

Daichi watched his grandmother fawn over his boyfriend, falling for him immediately as he tucked that mischievous, childish part of him away in favor of oozing easy charisma, flashing that suave, gorgeous smile that never ceased to enrapture the hearts of every person that saw it.

“Nakao-san, would you like a drink? Should we sit down and chat for a bit?” Sugawara offered his arm.

“Oh, please. Dear, call me Machiko. We’re family now, aren’t we?” she chuckled and took his arm.

“You’re too kind,” Sugawara purred, leading her towards a different booth. He looked over his shoulder at Daichi, “Could you get us some drinks, Love?”

Daichi pursed his lips, stifling a smile and said, “Of course. Any preferences?”

“Surprise us,” Sugawara winked and turned forward.

Daichi grinned, relief filling his chest over Sugawara’s swift save. His grandmother was old… maybe her hearing was bad enough that she didn’t hear the details of what Sugawara had been discussing with the others.

His hopes were quashed when his grandmother’s voice reached his ears.

“Sweetheart, your first mistake is using barbeque sauce. Dai-chan takes barbeque sauce too seriously, you know? You’d do better with honey.”

“But honey is so hard to clean off of sheets…”

“The secret is applying it in the kitchen and-”

Daichi turned and walked away.

Originally posted by trash-can-you-not

We Intertwined: Ch. 10

An Ignis Scientia Story

Chapter 9 | AO3 | Chapter 11
Word Count: 1,684

Ignis jolted awake, cold sweat dotting his brow. He was in an unfamiliar bed, he realized. He glanced around the room. There was no way it was a hospital—he’d become familiar with them throughout his childhood, and the sterility of those hallways always made Ignis uncomfortable.

Instead, he was in a bed that was just too small for the length of his legs. The walls were painted pink, and there were moogle plushies that lined a few shelves. They sat alongside some books that looked to be about the reading level of a young child, just older than a toddler. Ignis recognized a few from his own childhood, staples that his mother had purchased for him and read to him before tucking him in at night.

There were drawings pinned to the walls—some were scribbled in with crayon, some were filled in with broad strokes of paint. The colours were bright and gaudy, with fingerprint smudges throughout. But there was one drawing that was bigger than the rest that caught Ignis’ eye.

It was of two girls, one who was taller with a long, blue braid, and the other who was much smaller with dark hair past her shoulders, holding hands with smiles on their faces.

Ignis was in Clara’s room.

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Tying The Knot

Summary: Korra and Asami are finally tying the knot! Surrounded by loved ones with laughs, dancing, and horrible singing, it will certainly be a day to remember. (Written for Korrasami Wedding Day)

Rating: K+

Genre: Humor, Romance, Friendship, Family

Words: 4,446

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2
  • Warnings: none
  • Masterlist here

“Y/n!” My boyfriend Sirius stood in the doorway, sighing and whining. I set down my book for the millionth time, and looking up, parted my hair from my face. 

“What, Sirius?”

“Y/n, come on! You never do anything with me anymore!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes at Sirius.

“What are you talking about? We baked that cake thirty minutes ago!” I pointed towards the kitchen, where half of the chocolate cake I had baked and Sirius had eaten was sitting on a plate. 

Sirius grinned and uncrossing his arms, made his way across the room to me. he snatched my book from my hands and set it on the coffee table. 

“Sirius! What’re you doing?”

“Dancing.” He picked me up and twirled me around the room to where the old phonograph was. Slinging me over one shoulder, he popped “Funkytown” onto it. 

“Sirius, put me down!” I giggled as his shoulder dug into my stomach and tickled me. 

“Not until you start having some fun, you old grandma!” 

I pretended to be offended and slapped Sirius’s shoulder so he could put me down. 

“Who are you calling old?” I grabbed his hand and danced along to the music until Sirius cracked and let out a laugh. He grabbed my waist and spun me around, dipping me to the ground. We stayed like that until I started losing my balance and had to grab onto his neck. 

We smiled at each other and Sirius leaned down, nuzzling his nose with mine. He planted a kiss on my lips, and my forehead, and all over the rest of my face to the beat of the song.. Sirius smiled, set me down on the couch, and lay down next to me, wrapping his arms around me. 

“I love you, old grandma.” 

I smiled and patted Sirius’s hand and snuggled closer into his chest. “I love you too, Sirius.”

[ electricity ]

{ one does not simply borrow peaches }

4K SPECIAL COLLECTION(2/5)
AU: Yakuza
Pairing: Kise x Reader (Platonic)
Genre: Fluff
Words: 2001 words
A/N: Kise is a gigantic nerd and you can’t tell me otherwise.

“Shut up, the boss is here.” One of the men called out. Everyone instantly rushed to their positions, standing guard by the door and leaving whatever was left of their card game behind. Because if their boss got pissed, shit got real. They stood, waiting for however long it took for the man to walk in.

Kise Ryouta stepped through the gates. Eyes gleamed a dangerous gold. A frown upon his lips. Everyone quietly gulped. If Kise Ryouta had that expression, nothing could fix this situation so they merely readied themselves for—

“___-CHI!” The odd voice rang out. To some of the senior men, it wasn’t anything new. But to the juniors, it was as if a ferocious German shepherd had just transformed into a fluffy pomeranian. He tackled you to the ground as you let out a growl and shoved him off of you. He kneeled in front of you, eyes sparkling bright and a huge smile plastered on his face. He shifted around in his position, obviously antsy to hug you again.

You sighed. You really couldn’t say no to him. “Welcome back, Kise.” He grinned and threw his arms loosely around you once more, before tossing you over his shoulder. “PUT ME DOWN!” Oh my God. He did this way too often that most of the household members had gotten used to it. Except for you. You beat on his back, forcing him to place you back on your feet, but your efforts were futile as Kise just hummed as he brought you to the dining room.

“Feed me, ___-chi. I’m hungry.” He sat down on his usual seat, mouth open and ready.

Rolling your eyes, you shoved a gigantic baguette in his mouth. “Feed yourself.”

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Playboy Bait (Dean x Reader)

Request: Request is long sorry. The reader is a big loner super shy hunter but she is one of the best. She goes to a case but bobby recommends her tagging along with sam and dean she reluctantly tags along having to share a hotel room with two beds and is forced to share a bed with dean and she thinks dean is cute but he intimidates her by his tallness and forward ness. She gets hurt dean takes care of her. She wakes up in the morning with his arms wrapped around her. Fluffy stuff like that thank you. — anon

Word Count: 3,317

Author’s Note: Hope you like it!

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Emma Sandora's Tomato Sauce Recipe

Finally prepared my Grandma Em’s famous tomato sauce from scratch. It was delicious and tasted just how I remember it from eating Sunday dinners at her house as a child.

Here’s how to make it:

Add two 1lb cans of peeled whole tomatoes to a large pot. 

Add in one can of tomato paste. Fill the empty paste can with water and dump into the pot.

Use a garlic press to add one garlic clove to the sauce.

Begin simmering on a medium heat. Keep covered when not stirring/adding ingredients.

While the sauce begins to simmer use a hand blender (or whisk) to puree the tomatoes to remove large chunks. Make as chunky or smooth as you’d like. (I like it my sauce very smooth.)

While the sauce continues to simmer and bubble add in spices and seasoning of your choice. Keep tasting as you add until you get the desired flavor. Remember, you can always add more, but you can’t take it away so add in a little bit at a time. I like to add in:

  • Salt and pepper
  • Fresh parsley
  • Fresh basil (three leaves)
  • Generous sprinkling of onion powder

Once your spices have simmered for a few minutes, grate some parmesan cheese into the sauce. This adds great flavor and helps thicken it up. Keep adding until you’re happy with the cheesiness.

Now, time for secret ingredient: Sugar!

Take a heaping teaspoon of white sugar and sprinkle it over the top of the sauce as if you were sprinkling it over a dessert. DO NOT STIR. Leave the sugar to simmer on top of the sauce.

Leave the sauce on the heat until it comes to a nice, steady bubble. Once it has bubbled for a several minutes give the pot a stir and taste. Add more sugar and spice as needed.

Let the sauce simmer anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours depending on when you want to eat. The longer it simmers the more robust the flavors will become. If you think the sauce is too watery let it cook with the lid off until the liquid has cooked away.

Enjoy!

the son you always had (III)

(four lives william scully didn’t have, and one he did)

this one got weird and over-long

tomorrow’s WON’T BE SAD. but it also might not be tomorrow, because I might not have internet tomorrow. we’ll find out!

part I, part II

III. 2008

It’s the last day of school before Christmas, and William is stuck in a red sweater with a snowman on it. It’s way too warm to wear a sweater and the nearest snowman is hundreds of miles away, but there’s no use arguing with Grandma about stuff like this.

His cousin Matty is also wearing a dumb Christmas sweater - his is green, with Rudolph on the front - and they walk to school in shared misery. Matty is in fourth grade, and he walks William to school every day. William is glad to have him. Most second-graders don’t have a big kid to protect them.

Not that Matty is very threatening in the Rudolph sweater.

They part ways when they get to the front door of the school. Today is a fake day, all songs and cookies and watching Disney movies on the whiteboard.

In the morning, Mrs. Marquez sort of pretends to teach. They do a math lesson where they add and subtract candy canes, and during art they make snowmen out of cotton balls. William is not the only kid in his class wearing a dumb snowman sweater.

William loves Mrs. Marquez, with her big eyes and her soft voice. A couple of the kids have accidentally called her Mom this year, and William is deeply glad that he isn’t one of them. It seems even worse, somehow, to do that when you don’t have a mom of your own.

(William doesn’t yet know the details of his parents’ deaths. He knows that it was a car accident, he knows that it was a tragedy. He doesn’t know his parents were fugitives on the run from the law. In a few years Matty will turn mean, as children tend to do, and he will be the one who tells William the truth, taunting him: you’re a criminal too, you’re gonna go to jail, you’re just like them. Years after that he’ll apologize, and William will barely remember that it ever happened - they’ll have been friends for so long, and there will be so much water under the bridge.)

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Castmember Appreciation Post


This amazing woman’s name is Pat. Or as I like to call her, Grandma Pat. One day when Dorothy and I wanted to see the Rapunzel show and I wanted to take pictures there wasn’t any more seating on the front benches, so I did as I have done before and sat on the circle rug on the ground. Well Grandma Pat came up to me and told me that I could only sit there if I had a child with me which I did not. She asked why I wanted to sit there and I told her I wanted to take some nice photos so she found me a spot in the back edge where there wouldn’t be anyone sitting in front of me. She then complimented Dorothy and I on how nicely dressed we were and told us that she wished people dressed properly at the parks how it used to be. Then she did the unexpected and gave Dorothy and I a fastpass each for one ride up to 6 people. After the show we asked for a picture with her and left. A few weeks later we tracked her down again in Fantasy Faire after a fireworks show. She remembered us after a little bit of help on who we were and told us that next time we go to Disneyland we have to go see her so she can send us on a mission to make magic for someone as she had done for us. 

We have yet to go see her but will look for her this Sunday and post back with that quest she will put us on. 

If it’s Lee Star, when I searched I found this: 


http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/chris-maloney-defies-x-factor-1481023 

Drag racer: Chris Maloney defies X Factor orders to go boozing with cross dressing party queen

CROONER Chris Maloney broke an X Factor curfew to go boozing with a drag queen as last night’s final loomed.

Bosses were left furious after telling all three contestants they must NOT leave their hotel unless with production staff when they arrived in Manchester.

But Chris, the most controversial ­contestant, ignored the ban and raced off on a bender in which he drank ­champagne with a female impersonator.

He then moved on to another bar and risked his voice by belting out karaoke numbers.

Chris, 34, who was dubbed the ­biggest diva on the show by judge Louis Walsh, also upset a fan when he refused to have his photo taken with him.

A show source said: “Christopher and the other two remaining contestants were told under no circumstances were they to go out partying.

“The producers were angry he broke the ban. He was reprimanded and told his behaviour wasn’t what was expected.”

The former cruise ship singer from Liverpool defied bosses’ orders on Wednesday when he arrived in Manchester, where both the semi-final and final were being held.

He left his hotel at 10pm to go ­partying with mates at the Via bar in the city’s popular Canal Street area.

There he met the venue’s resident drag queen, Lee Star, and drank ­champagne cocktails. A fellow ­party-goer said: “Chris came in with a group. The drag queen approached them and they all drank and laughed together.

“Chris posed for a picture with him and they continued drinking together for about an hour.”

At 11pm the finalist, who is mentored by Gary Barlow, moved on with his party a nearby bar owned by former Take That manager Nigel Martyn Smith.

Onlookers watched as Chris ­boasted he was celebrating an X Factor victory early by drinking bottles of Veuve Clicquot champagne.

He also drank cocktails called“chambull” which mixes the bubbly with vodka and Red Bull.

Chris, who was also sneeringly ­branded a karaoke singer by Louis, 60, then got up on stage and belted out numerous songs, leaving onlookers ­joking that he really was a karaoke singer. But worried Chris asked staff to ban revellers from taking pictures over fears he would be ridiculed.

A source at the bar said: “He sang ballads for about 15 ­minutes. People were joking that he wasn’t very good.

“He made sure he was the centre of attention. But door staff stopped people taking pictures after he said: ‘Don’t take pics of me on the ­karaoke, people will take the p***’.”

Chris posed for photos with bar hostess Princess Jordan but left a fan furious when he refused to have his picture taken with him. Another customer said: “Chris looked him up and down then carried on ­chatting to his mates.

“He seemed rude and arrogant – a different person from the polite man earlier. It’s like a split personality.”

On Friday, just two days after Chris’s boozy night out, he reportedly lost his voice and was unable to complete a whole song at X Factor rehearsals.

The finalists’ partying ban followed weeks of headlines about contestants, including bespectacled lothario James Arthur, 23, taking conquests back to their London hotel rooms and going on drunken rampages.

A show source said: “Chris, James and Jahmene were given strict ­instructions not to go out by X Factor staff last week because they were worried the lads would be heckled or get into trouble.

“The contestants knew they were only allowed to go to rehearsals or events set up by the team, who wanted them to keep a low profile.

“So bosses were furious when they found out Chris was out until the early hours, drinking alcohol and being rude to fans. It just isn’t good enough.”

Former customer service advisor Chris was not one of mentor Gary’s automatic picks for the live finals,

instead scraping back into the show as a wild card voted in by the public.

His progress to the final, without ­being in the bottom two, has been ­attributed to “nan power”, with his ­biggest fan being his grandma Pat, 76.

it's monday, i'm back.

hard to believe just a week ago i was in south carolina visiting my brother.

hard to believe within a weeks time i drove back from south carolina,

packed my bags monday night and worked a full day on tuesday.

jumped in my car that night with rhyan and my sister emma,

and drove 12 straight hours to michigan.

spent four incredible days with my mom and siblings, nieces and nephews, countless aunts and uncles, cousins and family friends.

said our goodbyes to my amazing grandmother and celebrated the life she lived – we laughed and cried and hugged repeatedly.

said more goodbyes to the family and drove through the night saturday, napped and tried to decompress yesterday.

so here i am … back at work, back to normal.

missing my family so much it hurts.