grandma and cat

ratings of non-human things to tell your problems to

The Statue in the park- 7/10, good honest face that doesn’t change when you tell it you’re afraid of dying alone, bad if it ever comes to life in a freak accident

the unfeeling walls of a local target- 5.5/10, good aesthetic for public confessions, very red, bad for employees staring at me

spirits of the dead- 3/10, my grandma be judging me

Your Cat- 10/10, she loves you!!!! and is soft!!! the stern look is only to tell you to get your shit together, she cares

Your Dog- 10/10, also soft and loves you, your dog thinks you’re great even if you tell it you haven’t showered in a week or you can’t make that phone call

the internet- 0/10 NOOOO, DO NOT, other people are on there

a conch shell- 8/10, you can hear ocean noises respond :D, better than my cousin standing in my room and making wooshing noises

the unblinking eye of God in the corner of your room- 5/10, that bitch don’t blink, but relates to you

I hate when the fandom blows up about things that don’t matter, grandma is tired. 

I’m curious if I was the only person not expecting a central romance in episode 8, if anything a big romance plot is going to come out of the last episode and as storytelling goes you can’t just jump right from being enemies to lovers, there needs to be time to change and a middle episode does just that. I dunno, I’ve been in this fandom since decemeber 2k15 and I’ve never thought that episode 8 would show anything really juicy with canon ships. The foundations will lay out and there will certainly be interactions, but thats all. And honestly it could be a good thing not having to worry about a gushy and awkward romance.

To me as long as they’re not related (which… well they aren’t) then we have stomping grounds for whatever we want. Ships being canon is not the best thing ever or the only way to validate them, most of them aren’t anyway.

Teaching my grandma how to say "Cheshire Cat"
  • Me: Cheshire
  • Grandma: Treasure
  • Me: what? no. Chess-sure
  • Grandma: Tress-sir
  • Me: where are you getting the T? Chess-sure
  • Grandma: shesh-sir
  • Me: ok... Chess as in the game, and sure as in "sure I'll jump off a bridge after this"
  • Grandma: chess
  • Me: good. Now say sure
  • Grandma: sure
  • Me: Chess. Sure
  • Grandma: chess. Sure
  • Me: great! now put it together!
  • Grandma: Tresh-stir!

anonymous asked:

I have a strange rash around my asshole. I showed it to my grandma, my teachers, my cat, all my neighbors and they all said they've never seen anything like it. Web md says I have a foot fetish and my mom gave me some medicine to vomit. What should I do?

Black Sails, the finale, and everything.

This is a revised and extended version of a meta post that I made a couple of days ago, which outlines why I think that Flint’s ending as we’re shown it on screen is real.

Why I believe that Silver’s story about Flint’s ending is true. 

1. The showrunners have confirmed that they had intended to bring back Thomas for a long time, and repeatedly referred to the rule of “no body, no confirmed death” in recent interviews. Which, in turn, implies that Thomas as we see him on screen is real and not simply a hallucination.

This is a contextual argument, which can be dismissed if we only look at the episode as it stands, though I would argue that it isn’t without relevance - the groundwork for Thomas’ return has been laid in earlier seasons, and his actual return is the answer to the question that the show has explicitly asked in episode 4.04. It is answered in the finale, but only if we accept the ending at face value.

2. We saw the cold open, which was framed as a flashback, but not as a part of anyone’s narration or memory. That makes it a true scene, one that really happened. It’s tied to the snippet of Max’ and Silver’s conversation about that estate through the “Previously on Black Sails” montage; a direct follow-up to that scene. No ambiguity there.

3. We saw that scene of Flint being delivered to the exact same compound, with the exact same owner, and and we saw that reunion scene with Flint and Thomas.

Every scene that we see in a movie or read in a book has a place within that narrative. It’s one of the most fundamental laws of fiction. The writers can deceive us, they can trick us and later reveal how they tricked us – that what we saw was a dream, or a hallucination, or that we simply didn’t see all of it – and they can leave room for ambiguity.

But what they cannot do, what they absolutely must not do, is straight-out lie to us. If they did, then that would be a severe breach of contract, one that would immediately put everything else into question.

The reunion scene existed.

The events therein existed.

It follows that this scene has a place within the narrative of Black Sails.

I’d argue it has to be either:

a) Silver’s story, based on his own imagination,

b) Flint’s hallucination of his own death,

c) the metaphorical version of Flint’s off-screen death,

d) a real flashback that shows what actually happened, with a heavily metaphorical aspect to it that reflects Silver’s narrative about the end of Captain Flint and the reawakening of James McGraw, which has been heavily alluded to in earlier seasons.

So which one is it?

Whenever this show included memories or hallucinations before, the writers were very careful to fill these scenes only with details that the characters who were remembering or hallucinating them knew

It holds true for Vane’s vision of Eleanor, where everything Eleanor said was what Vane had been thinking about himself.

It holds true for every single flashback of season one and two, from the scene on the Maria Aleyne to the scenes in London. For the London storyline, the events were tied to either Miranda or Flint, and we only saw scenes in which at least one of them had been present. The Maria Aleyne we got from Morley’s point of view, then later from Gates’ resp. Flint’s. There’s one second-hand flashback when Silver tells Max about the scouts Flint had sent to the beach to watch the Urca gold, with the Spanish soldiers dying. 

It holds true for Flint’s hallucinations of Miranda, which were also full of details and images he knew. His mind did not create a new virtual environment in any of these. 

Unless the writers have entirely changed their modus operandi for the final episode, it stands to reason that the same rules would apply to Flint’s ending as well.  

Which leads me to the conclusion that:

a) If the reunion scene had been Silver’s imagination, and nothing more, then neither the compound, nor its owner, nor Thomas, should have looked the way they did simply because Silver had never seen them. 

If it had been nothing but Silver’s story, it would have made more sense to simply have Silver recount it, as was the show’s habit with stories – Spaniard named Vasquez, the hanged pirates of Charles Town, the bird that was dinner, and so on. But if it had only been a fabrication, if, in fact, Flint’s delivery to Savannah had never happened, the setting would not match the scene in the cold open in such great detail.

b) The same applies to the idea that the reunion scene would be Flint’s imaginary version/hallucination of his own death. Flint has never seen that place in Savannah, he couldn’t have imagined it like that. He also would not have imagined Thomas being older or bearded, simply for lack of reference.

c) If the reunion scene is meant to be a metaphorical version of Flint’s death, including a version of a happy afterlife, then a couple of things don’t add up. For one, an important element is missing, and that is Miranda. And again, If they had meant to indicate something like paradise for Flint, there is very little reason to depict it as a labor camp in Savannah that has no relevance to Flint at all – without Miranda, but with a bearded Thomas. In short, the reunion scene was lacking everything one should expect of an actual afterlife, and had all the signs of being tied strongly to the show’s reality and present.

Also, for both version b) and c): if that scene was meant to be a visualization of Flint’s actual death, there are various details that simply don’t fit.

The scene shows Flint cleaned up, his scratches and injuries older and scabbed over, but not entirely healed. This indicates that time has passed between the scene in the woods and his arrival at the field.

If the scene was meant as a coded version of Flint’s off-screen death, we’re also lacking a cause of death. The most popular theory says that Flint was killed by Silver’s gunshot. But if his arrival at the plantation is his passage to the underworld, where is the deadly wound that caused it? All other wounds are still visible, though mostly healed, and he’s wearing the same clothes. Moreover, if it was Silver’s gun shot that was his end, why are Hands and Morgan delivering him into the realm of death instead of Silver? Or if they have killed him on Silver’s behalf, where are his other injuries?

So these are things that I simply can’t dismiss, things that, for me, are a clear argument against any of these explanations. 

The fourth one, on the other hand…

d) If the reunion is real, but framed and filmed in a way that there is a metaphorical aspect to it as well, then it shows us the real events, coded heavily in a way that ties back to Greek mythology – symbolizing the death of Flint, and providing the happy ending to James McGraw’s personal Odyssey all at once. It makes sense to shoot it with a different filter, it makes sense to have the actual way from the gate to the end of the tunnel be accompanied by Silver’s narration, and it makes sense for Silver’s narration to stop at some point because the actual reunion is no longer a part of it. 

Silver talks about the reawakening of the man who came before. That part of his story ends when Flint steps out into the sunshine. But because Silver doesn’t really know what went on in that estate - he can be seen lurking in the background while Hands and Morgan accompany Flint in - it would be a part of the story that Silver has not been witness to, meaning that he has no words to accompany it. That particular scene is not narrated by Silver. But if the whole story only existed in Silver’s mind, why would he stop there, and not recount how happy Flint looked when finally reunited with Thomas? 

And when he saw Thomas - Madi, when he saw Thomas, he looked as if he was finally at peace. For the first time since I’ve known him, he seemed well and truly happy.” 

Silver’s words about Flint recounted what he knew and the change he, personally, had witnessed in Flint. Meanwhile, what we saw on screen was a flashback playing out, one that, since it was true and real, extended beyond what Silver could tell us.

4. We know that Silver did not want to kill Flint. It was not his intention to kill Flint. He explicitly stated that he would stand there and talk until Flint accepted the outcome. If he had intended to kill Flint, nothing would have stopped him from doing so once Flint had made it clear that the treasure would stay in the ground.

Instead Silver kept reasoning with Flint, and explicitly expressed his intention to leave the island together with him. Earlier, he spoke of arrangements and of “compromises” that were in place to prevent the war. 

What would these arrangements be, if not Flint’s imprisonment in Savannah?

5. The ambiguity of Flint’s fate - the scene cut off in the forest, including the uncertainty over whether it was actually a gunshot that alerted the other crew members or something else, matched the suspense before Madi was found alive. It was just that, suspense, and the resolution of the whole thing came through Silver’s explanation toward the end of the episode. There is no detail that cannot be explained fully by the explanation we’re given by Silver.

6. Jack tells Grandma Guthrie that Flint has retired. If Silver had killed Flint instead, it would not make any sense to tell an explicit lie when the truth would have served him just as well, if not better. The official version of events would still be Flint’s retirement, but why deny in front of Grandma Guthrie that the cat was drowned, if that was what she wanted, and also what happened? 

7. If Flint had been killed on that island, lying to Madi would mean that Silver had to trust the entire crew of the Lion not to reveal that secret in case Madi would ask. He also faces the risk of having his entire story proven false in case Madi sends someone to Savannah to investigate. Not to mention that he would have to either invent or undertake a voyage to Savannah for the sake of plausibility to uphold the fiction of Flint’s retirement, voluntary or otherwise.  

8. The showrunners have repeatedly stated that their ending had the goal to bring the characters into place for Treasure Island. That only works if Flint is left alive. If Flint had died in that forest, there would be no treasure map, because only Flint knows where the damn thing is buried. Taken at face value, the ending fits. It’s still decades before the events of Treasure Island come to pass. Billy can still get off that island. Silver can still lose some more of his leg. Ben Gunn can still be marooned. But if Flint is dead, any canon-compliance has gone right out of the window.  

One does not simply make a prequel to Treasure Island for four entire seasons only to arrive at a point where the ending is contradictory to Treasure Island.

This is also a contextual argument, but one that is decidedly harder to dismiss. Within the episode, we can point out ambiguities as much as we like, but if it comes to the narrative of Black Sails as a whole, I feel it would be remiss to ignore that for the show to meet its objectives, Flint has to be alive.

(9.) This isn’t really an argument against the "Silver killed Flint” hypothesis, but it’s an important aspect nevertheless, in that it explores the implications.

In order to say that Flint is dead, we have to brand Silver a liar. All perceived ambiguity aside, if we want to assume that Flint is dead, we need to believe that Silver is lying.

The episode in itself does not give us any indication for it. There are no tells, nothing to pinpoint that Silver isn’t entirely sincere. We have to make the deliberate choice not to believe him, and to accept that Silver would lie to Madi in such a profound way.

This final episode has been the conclusion to Silver’s character arc. His decision to end the war is his defining moment, the conscious choice to step out of Flint’s shadow and take a stance. He is no longer willing to walk the path of least resistance (going along with what both Flint and Madi want) because he truly believes that the war is a waste of lives and resources. He opposes both of them regardless of the consequences, knowing that he’s not only betraying them, but also giving up everything he has gained – the power and glory that are tied to the pirate persona of Long John Silver. It is the moment he comes into his own, where he stops playing a part and makes a difficult – and controversial – decision in accordance with his truest believes, even though these are in opposition to Flint’s and Madi’s. And the narrative shows him as willing to stand by it, willing to defend it, and being sincere about it, both in his conversation with Flint and the one with Madi.

By saying that Silver lied – not even that he killed Flint, because while he clearly didn’t intend to kill Flint, Flint might have left him no other choice – but that he lied to Madi about it to placate her – we choose to see Silver not as a flawed man who makes a questionable decision, but as a despicable villain who acts only for his own, personal gain.

We deny that his love and respect for Madi were ever genuine and true. We disregard four seasons of character development, we disregard two seasons of Silver following into Flint’s footsteps while being deeply conflicted about it, and we disregard a final episode where he at last finds the strength and conviction to break free of that downward spiral of violence and rage and sacrificing people for the greater good.

And we do that not based on evidence, but on belief.

Not because it’s what the show tells us, but because we reject its narrative in favor of creating a monster for our own benefit.

After all, civilization needs its monsters, doesn’t it?  

Conclusion

At a closer look, the theory of Flint being killed by Silver simply does not hold up to scrutiny. While it might be tempting to look for possible alternate interpretations, the accumulated evidence leaves us with basically no other choice but to take the ending at face value.

To be able to speak of an ambiguous ending, there have to be two competing interpretations that are equally valid, but that simply isn’t the case unless you find a way to dismiss all the arguments listed above.

Maybe the question we should really ask isn’t whether there was a gunshot or not, but why we are so willing to believe there was.