grand opening sale!

anonymous asked:

Another store from our same chain opened up recently, about 10 minutes away from my store, and has a bunch of grand opening sales. The number of customers who come into my store and expect these same sales..... smh. And when we tell them no, they ask if we'll price-match. No, because the entire point of the grand opening sale is to encourage you to check out the new store. Go there. Fuck off.

We have also received word via encrypted radio pulses about the opening of a new store: Lenny’s Bargain House of Gardenwares and Machine Parts, which until recently was that abandoned warehouse the government was using for the highly classified and completely secret tests I was telling you about last week. Lenny’s will serve as a helpful new source for all needs involving landscaping and lawn-decorating materials and also as a way for the government to unload all the machines and failed tests and dangerous substances that otherwise would be wasted on things like ‘safe disposal’ or ‘burying in a concrete tomb until the sun goes out.’

Get out to Lenny’s for their big grand opening sale. Find eight government secrets and get a free kidnapping and personality reassignment so that you’ll forget you found them!
—  welcome to night vale, joseph fink & jeffrey cranor

Last Day for the Grand Opening Sale!

Today is the last day to get your miniature felt pride flags $5 off! Shipping is free with the coupon code: TUMBLR. Modestly Unique Studio overs over 40 different LGBT pride flags and even an option to make a custom flag if your identity is a little underappreciated! Because everyone deserves to feel proud of their identity!

Momotori Week: Kisses

Ahh, okay, so I’m just behind now and doing things out of order. I’m still going to finish these prompts, damn it, but I guess I’m just a couple days… late. Whoops.

Anyway, I’m bringing in some silliness, featuring Gou! I never write from Gou’s perspective. I would like to do that more. 

Enjoy.

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Momotori Week: Prompt 6: Kisses or Cuddles

It’s Not Gay If You’re Trying to Pick Up Chicks

It was kind of a joke—and kind of not—when Gou told Momotarou she had a thing for boys kissing boys.

So she was a bit shocked to find Momo and Ai making out at the mall.

Like what was that about?

Keep reading

Hey guys, I’ve finally decided to open up commissions!

Mostly due to necessity, I’m afraid. My current situation is that my bank account is ~$200 in the red and I have no other way of making money. Donations would be nice, but tbh I feel incredibly guilty about asking for them, so this is my only option ;u;

My commissions page can be found here

My email is ellithe3rd@hotmail.com, contact me via tumblr messaging system or email if you’re interested!

Whenever a new store opens and they have a “grand opening sale” and the place is PACKED with people I always wonder what they’re after????? My energy???? My hostie??? My star seed???!???! MY SILVER CRYSTAL?!?!????!???!?