graham is me i am graham

Will: Hannibal’s my sugar daddy now.

Alana: *chokes on wine*

Jack: ???!!!

Chilton: What…

Hannibal: WILLIAM GRAHAM, I BOUGHT YOUR DOGS SOME SAUSAGE AND YOU SOME SOUP. THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM YOUR SUGAR DADDY!

Alana, Jack, and Chilton: Oh thank God!

Hannibal: But I could be if you want me to.

5

I’m like six years late to the fandom but here’s some terrible Valentines from everyone’s favorite Roman LARPers

send them to the profligates you least wish to kill

Friend: I just finished watching a show, what should I watch next?

Me: Hannibal

Friend: I want a crime show 

Me: Hannibal

Friend: I also want romance

Me: Hannibal

Friend: Hot guys would be a plus

Me: Hannibal

Friend: I don’t know I kinda-

Me: *Rips off clothes to reveal murder suit* HANNIBAL!!!!!!!!!!! *cries in corner*

Gef the Talking Mongoose is a creature that was supposedly encountered in the early 1930s on the Isle of Man. This talking mongoose was found on the Irving family’s farm. Gef was first heard by James Irving while he was reading the newspaper outside when suddenly he heard a voice say “Read it out, you fat-headed gnome!” James Irving claimed that Gef looked like “a little animal resembling a stoat, a ferret, or a weasel, yellow in colour with a body about nine inches long. Its long bushy tail is speckled with black”.

Gef often communicated with the family, claiming that he was an “extra extra clever mongoose!” and that he was even an “Earthbound spirit”. Gef was definitely a character. He enjoyed waking people up in the middle of the night, he chased and caught mice that invaded the family home, and liked to eat bacon and sausages. Voirrey Irving was said to have been behind it all and people accused her of being a ventriloquist. The actor Leslie Graham bought the farmhouse after James passed away and everyone left. In 1946, Graham claimed to have shot and killed Gef, however, Voirrey saw the body of the animal Graham killed and denied this. She claimed the creature that was killed was larger than Gef and instead of his yellow color, it was black and gray. 

Until her death in 2005, Voirrey denied that she had created Gef.

One of Gef’s most famous lines was: “I am a freak. I have hands and I have feet, and if you saw me you’d faint, you’d be petrified, mummified, turned into stone or a pillar of salt!“ 

6

here it is revealed. i am a huge fucking grahamscott shipper. warren catches nathan writing “nathan graham” on his notes cause nathan wants to marry that dork and take his last name its a known fact

Hannibal fic prompt: Will Graham is way too pretty
  • will graham: i’m a grouchy unsociable loner
  • jack crawford: you have 14 restraining orders against ex-girlfriends, ex-hairdressers, and ex-coworkers who randomly fell in love with you after seeing you once in the Quantico cafeteria
  • will graham: where i eat ALONE at a table by the window ALONE
  • beverly katz: people literally choke on their food around you because they forget how to breathe and chew at the same time
  • will graham: no one likes me or invites me to social events
  • beverly katz: you got invited to mark's retirement party just last week, you ruined three relationships just by walking around the room once, the only thing you told mark was 'sorry to see you go' and the poor old bastard offered to leave his wife of 25 years for you
  • will graham: i sweat like a pig
  • jimmy price: you don't sweat like a pig, you glisten like a sea-sprayed statue of antinous
  • will graham: my unironic lumberjack clothes fit me poorly
  • brian zeller: you made 'lumberjack slob' the leading fashion trend in the Washington metropolitan area.
  • will graham: my students applauded me once for shooting a suspect, it was inappropriate
  • beverly katz: wanna talk inappropriate, your students once gave you a five-minute standing ovation for drinking from a water bottle
  • will graham: alana rejected my awkward and fumbling advances
  • alana bloom: my self-esteem couldn't handle me not being the pretty one in the relationship
  • will graham: supermarket tabloids cast aspersions on my character
  • freddie lounds: how else am i going to justify devoting 8 pages to long-range photos of you playing with your dogs or wandering around your property in your underwear? btw calvin klein's people called, they're ready to offer you six figures to model those cute little boxer briefs you favor
  • will graham: help me jack i am so broken and vulnerable!..
  • jack crawford: sorry buddy, i'm going to have to talk with my back to you from now on, bella told me not to look at you ever again after i called out your name during our anniversary sex
  • will graham: WELL FINE SCREW ALL OF YOU I'LL JUST TALK TO THIS SHRINK I AM BEING FORCED TO SEE BECAUSE MY AIR OF MYSTERY, SELF-SACRIFICE, AND LOVE OF RESCUING ABANDONED ANIMALS ARE ALL SO OFF-PUTTING
  • dr. hannibal lecter: ...
  • dr. hannibal lecter: hello! i know we literally just met, but all i want to do for the rest of my life is cook you delicious meals and fill my mansion with drawings of your face and butt
  • will graham: ...
  • dr. hannibal lecter: sorry, i don't think i'm saying this right. my apologies, english is my fifth language.
  • will graham: ah ok
  • dr. hannibal lecter: what i meant to say was, i want to give you all my infinite money and also babies
  • will graham: fml

like do you remember that time Graham said he was in the bar after getting sober and just showing random people he didn’t know his sketchbook and they were like, legitimately concerned/freaked out because his drawings were so disturbing and violent

and he was like yeah man, that’s just my brain

anonymous asked:

For the ships ask: Who's the one that's better at teasing: Hannigram :)


Are you kidding me?? Will Graham, most definitely. I mean, have you seen that little shit at work?

Okay, okay, so, first off (EXAMPLE NO. 1):

WHAT TH E FUCK IS THIS. MR. “I should dress up in a pretty, salmon button up with some tight, dark pants to enhance/define my ass. Also, maybe I should cut and style my hair? Maybe even leave a little curl?” for when I go to see Hannibal again?? FUCKCIN

EXAMPLE NO. 2:

I still have the coppery smell of blood on my hands. I can’t remember seeing the crime scene before I saw myself killing her. I know I didn’t kill her. I couldn’t have. But I remember cutting into her. I remember watching her die”.

THIS IS HANNIBAL RIGHT AFTER HE SAID THIS:

WILL GRAHAM WAS A TEASE BEFORE HE EVEN KNEW HE WAS BEING A TEASE. 

EXAMPLE NO. 3:

WHY DID HE DO THIS??? WHAT WAS THE MOTIVE OF HIM DOING THIS?? “Oh, since I’m saying goodbye to Hannibal and am about to leave his ass forever, maybe I should put my hand on the glass of his cell- give him a little taste of what he could have had.”

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, GRAHAM??

EXAMPLE NO. 4:

HE KNOWS HOW MUCH HANNIBAL WANTS THEM TO BE MURDER HUSBANDS, AND THEN HE GOES AND DOES THIS.

JUST

TEARS A CHUNK OF FLESH FROM ANOTHER MAN’S FACE AND THEN SPITS IT OUT ON A PLATE. LIKE.

“Look what I did. This is what you like/want, isn’t it?”

EXAMPLE NO. 5:

I’m not even gonna go into detail about this.

But, like, what??

Will. 

WIL L.

EXAMPLE NO. 6:

I’M LITERALLY. 

THIS WAS WHEN THEY DID THE LITTLE MASH-UP OF THEIR FACES AND THEN CUT AWAY.

HOW DARE YO U, BRYAN

you know they fucked on that table afterwards tho

EXAMPLE NO. 7

This scene. THIS SCENE. 

WILL GRAHAM KNEW HE WAS ABOUT TO CONSUME HUMAN FLESH WITH HANNIBAL. HE BROUGHT LITERAL, ACTUAL HUMAN FLESH TO HANNIBAL’S KITCHEN, AND THEN HE HELPED HIM COOK IT AND THEN THEY ATE IT. AND WILL WAS SMILING AT HANNIBAL AS HE DID IT. 

And yes, it was human flesh. Will got it from Randall Tier- not Freddie. 

EXAMPLE NO. 8:

NOW, FOR THE GRAND FINALE. “PRETTY PLEASE” WILL GRAHAM.

LIKE. 

HANNIBAL WAS SO NOT DOWN FOR DOING WHAT THE FBI WANTED. HE KNEW THAT THEY WANTED TO KILL HIM/WANTED HIM DEAD.

BUT THEN WILL- BEAUTIFUL, “INNOCENT” WILL GRAHAM HAD THE AUDACITY TO MARCH RIGHT ON INTO HIS CELL AND GIVE HIM THE “BROW” WHILE ALSO SAYING A SWEET LITTLE “please”. 

LIKE, FUCK ME MAN.

FUCK. ME. 

NO WONDER THIS CANNIBAL’S THIRSTY AF.

**

Now, that’s all I have- though there are so many more! SO MANY MORE.

Have a good day, love- I really enjoyed answering this! <33

if i was suddenly transported to fnv and met joshua graham, id call him joshua graham cracker and then he’d pistol whip me and i’d die immediately from how frail and stupid i am