“This Jeremiah was a deft and nimble man, with a long nose and legs and skin all browned by the sun, and a curling black beard, and Mary said that although he looked like a Jew or a gypsy, as many peddlers were, he was a Yankee with an Italian father who’d come over to work in the mills, in Massachusetts; and his last name was Pontelli, but he was well liked. He spoke good English, yet with something foreign in his voice; and he had piercing black eyes and a wide and handsome smile, and flattered the women shamelessly.”
I don’t know if it’s because I’m a history major (and total dork) but is it just me or are powdered wigs like the actual sexiest thing on this planet?
Like, seriously though. Look at what happens to Jack Davenport, who plays James Norrington in PoTC. I mean he’s already gorgeous.
But add a powdered fucking wig and…
UMF. I don’t even. Like Commodore, you can command my ship any fucking day of the week.
And okay, Benedict Cumberbatch. I mean…
Also, let’s talk about Marie Antoinette starring Kristin Dunst and Jason Schwartzman. Louis XVI was a total dork who was not in the least bit attractive. So, obviously once again, Hollywood fucked up the historical accuracy because like
Seriously, a historical inaccuracy of this kind should be illegal. Because I wouldn’t be complaining if I were married to him.
And then there’s Count Fersen, Marie Antoinette’s secret lover.
If I were Marie I would literally require him to keep that wig on the entire time we were together. Seriously.
AND DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FRENCH MUSICAL 1789: LES AMANTS DE LA BASTILLE.
These guys already have insane vocals, which is already a turn on for me. BUT THEN IT’S LIKE
they don’t even need to be motherfucking powdered wigs, it can just be long hair pulled back with the period clothing.
I mean maybe this is just me, but powdered wigs are da bomb. If a man came up to me wearing the period clothing and the wig I think my underwear would actually fly off of me and into outer space.
I’m clearly way to big of a history nerd. I shouldn’t even be real.