grace and trip

The One with the Giant Poking Device

Characters - Dean x Reader

Summary - An awkward moment while sharing a bed leads to an interesting morning.

Word Count - 5864

Warnings - Swearing (duh), injury (very slight),smut, oral sex/face riding (female), fingering, unsafe sex (remember irl to wrap it before you tap it)

A\N - This was written for mine and Jill’s Hubba Bubba Birthday writing challenge. Thank you to @sis-tafics for reading through and encouraging me. And a special thank you to @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog for betaing. You ladies are the absolute best!

Tags at the bottom

Originally posted by jessica-bones-winchester


Long, calloused fingers grip you tightly, digging into your soft curves as his hands pull you flush against his body. The heat spreads, radiating from him to sink into your bones, flowing through you to settle heavily in your center. The strength in the arms wrapping around you, the firmness of his chest against your full breasts, the gentleness of his hands as they caress you, all of it makes your breath slow, your heart race. You can’t hold back the low whine in your throat when you feel his hardening length pressing against your lower belly. He dips his head to nuzzle into your neck, his warm breath fanning over you. He nudges your head back further, the scruff on his jaw a delicious burn on your skin. Soft sighs catch in your throat as his lips glide over you and you can feel his cock twitch against you in response.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

what are normal things that happen in field archaeology? and what does an archaeologist look like

Ok, normal things that happen in the field, according to my experience and to my friends’ (we haven’t had the chance to go to field school together yet, but hopefully this is the year!):

-it’s too sunny to see the stratigraphy

-it’s too cloudy to see the stratigraphy

-is this a sherd or a rock?

-”Wear the Indiana Jones hat proudly”, says the Professor

-”Clean this structure!”, says Professor; «but it’s just a bunch of roots…», thinks student; Professor stomping around excavation area; Professor is beauty and grace and eventually trips on and destroys said structure; Professor and student look at each other; “I always knew it wasn’t important,” says Professor

-you no longer fill your lungs with air, but with dust and dirt

-you no longer cry tears, but mud

-”Look, I’m digging white dirt!” exclaims rookie student; “You destroyed a bone,” says veteran student

-headquarters in the middle of nowhere, nights dark and chilly, forest all around… it is time for creepy stories

-wildlife appears

-night stroll interrupted upon seeing a pair of big round eyes shining in the dark; “IT’S A LION!!!”; night stroll becomes marathon for survival

-black spot on the wall; black spot moves; black spot is a spider; bring a bucket and a pickaxe and the big shovel and maybe we should call the Professor to help us

-call the Professor

-”Can you pass me the thing?”; “Can you hold me the thing while I measure the thing for the thing?”; “Did you see my thing?”; “Look at the thing I found!”; “Where’s the bucket for special things?”

-building new hills and valleys and mountains with all the dirt covering the Main Objective: you are the Destroyer and Creator of Worlds

-The Good Professor: “Kids, time for the mid-morning snack!” and “Kids, hide everything, it’s lunch time!”

-The Bad Professor: “You are doing it wrong.” and “Stop contaminating my archaeological site with biscuit crumbs, who told you to eat anyway???”

-”If the boars come, drop everything and climb to the trees.”

-who needs sunscreen when you have ochre?

-”Take your feet off my square!”

-metalhead girl finds first piece of bronze of that year’s campaign: let the metal-puns begin!

-Professor brings portable chair; Professor installs portable chair between two glorious oaks; Professor picks a square for himself, sits on dirt and works

-sharing the back of the jeep with material, samples, colleagues and Professor’s portable chair

-you know you’re going on an archaeological mission when the jeep is old and uncomfortable 

-old and uncomfortable jeeps are the best

-overloaded jeep going up and down the mountain, brakes might not work; “We trust you with our lives, (name of the doctorate student driving the jeep). No pressure.”

-look at all these sherds!

-turns out you broke a once perfectly intact jar/dish/whatever, we’ll only know what’s this crap once we glue it back together

-”IT’S A STELE!!” yells rookie student, pointing a piece of broken marble

-”I found a pretty shell in that shell midden!”

-digging Roman ruins wearing no hard hat = YOLO

-asking the metalhead girl the secret behind walking around with safety boots when it’s 35ºC

-disconnected from the world

-waking up at 6 a.m. to the Indiana Jones theme; chicken and pork for breakfast; pick up Professor at 7 a.m.; work starts at 8 a.m.; everybody is joyful and happy and it is a beautiful day

-”A friend just called from (some other Professor’s excavation site); do you guys want to hear the gossip???”

-gossip is a sexual scandal, everybody laughs and is very happy to be in the opposite side of the country

-field drawing

-field stick-men drawing

-Professor fell asleep on his square

-”Do we have insurance?” asks rookie student; “What the fuck is that?” asks veteran student

And finally…

An archaeologist looks like the hate child of a Special Ops and a partisan. 

Headcanon

Keith is ridiculously flexible. Like the type of flexible where, if he’s actually trying things get weird. Knees behind his head flexible.

But he’s pretty much the least graceful person ever? He trips over air. He knocks things off tables. He will occasionally walk into a wall. It’s bad.

Lance, however, is super graceful. When he walks he looks like he’s dancing. When he dances he looks like he’s made of water. If you really watch him every movement is fluid and magical and awe inspiring.

But the boy can barely touch his shins. Even with help.

If you mashed them into one person they’d basically be a prima ballerina. But separately they’re kind of a mess.

He Was Right

Request:  Reader is close to the glee club and has gone to school with them since freshman year) Sebastian left his phone at the Lima Bean and someone from the glee club found it. They look through it to see pics of reader and Seb like kissing each other, hugging and cute pics that you would have of your significant other. They ask him about it only to find him and reader talking about date plans and the glee Club finding out when he realizes that he left his phone at the Lima Bean. The entire glee club enters the room and tells them the gig’s up. They confess and the glee club accepts it. - @irony-is-my-life

Pairing: Sebastian Smythe x Reader

Notes: So I made a few changes. I hope you don’t mind. It’s late and not very well written. I’m sorry if it’s not your favorite. You can always request another one, though. My ask is always open. Also everyone’s a lil bit OOC.


Bells jingled and laughter poured into the local cafe called the Lima Bean. “And then Finn tripped over his books and slid down the hall!” Rachel was giggling through her retelling of an incident with an unsuspecting student and a distracted Finn walking the halls of McKinley. “Hey. I think it was a pretty graceful dive. I only tripped three other people.” Rachel, Finn, Blaine, Kurt, Santana and Artie were making a stop at the Lima Bean to get a little recharged before the weekend was over.

“Hey guys, I’ll catch up in a minute.” “Alright Finn. Don’t be long,” Rachel smiled.

Striding over to the bathroom, something caught his eye before he made it to the door. ‘Someone left their phone here. That’s rough.” Finn thought to himself. ‘I wonder who’s it is.’ Thinking he was doing the right thing, he started looking through the phone and opened up the photos app since it was the first thing he saw. Scrolling through the pics, the screen was filled with red, black and white. Finn cringed as the Warbler symbol flashed across the phone. About ready to just turn the phone in to the cashier, a familiar face caught his eye.. ‘(y/n)?’

“Hey guys!” Finn yelled as he approached his friends. “Oh there you are, Finn. We were wondering what took you.” Artie scrutinized his fellow singer. “You’ll never believe what I found.” Finn had everyone’s attention now.

“Well? What is it?” Santana. Always one to be straight to the point. “I found this phone sitting at a deserted table and so I tried to figure out who it might belong to. So I started looking through their photos-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Santana interrupted. “You tried to find someone’s identity by looking through their pictures?” “Where did you possibly find that knowledge?” Kurt questioned. “Never mind that. Look who’s in the pictures.”

Finn showed the group the picture of (y/n). “So it (y/n)’s phone? Big deal.” Santana stared at Finn as if he grew another head, completely confused.

“Yeah, no. It’s a Warbler’s phone. See?” He then showed them the Warbler symbol. “Let me see that,” Blaine took the phone and started swiping. “..holy crap. I think I might puke. Oh gosh!”

“Blaine! What is it?” Everyone hollered at their raven haired friend. Saying nothing, he held up the phone. Cue collective gasp.

*At Dalton Academy*

“Okay guys. Here’s the plan. We go in and confront that sniveling snake about what he thinks he’s doing with our (y/n). Then we use whatever means necessary to keep him away from our baby.” Santana sneered at the thought of Smythe. “Agreed.” All were in agreement then.

Storming up the stairs of the school, the group made their way to the Warbler’s practice room. Sneaking up to the door, the singers heard voices conversing inside. “Good. Okay. They’re in there. Let’s go.” Finn was ready to ‘talk’ to Sebastian. “Hold up a second,” Artie spoke. “I think.. there’s a girl’s voice..”

Everyone crowded the door, trying to hear. “-last time. Maybe we could hit up the ice cream parlor then head on over to the beach?” “Really? Seb, don’t you think that they’d see us?” “Come on, babe. I want to show you off. I really don’t care about your friends seeing us. In fact, it’d be a good thing. Maybe I can prove to them that it’s a good thing we’re together. I really love you and I’m sure they’ll be able to see that. Even if they don’t want to.” Sebastian had been trying to convince you to tell the New Directions for a while now. Everything he said was either shot down or flat out ignored. You really did care about Sebastian, but it’d be so hard for you if your friends, best friends, disapproved of your relationship.

“Sebastian. I know you really want to tell them.. it’s just,” you heaved a sigh loud enough for your eavesdropping friends to hear. “It’s just that if they didn’t approve of us, if they didn’t like us together, if they’d tried to break us apart.. it would kill me. I love you so much, but they might not love us together. They’re still my friends. My family. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

From the other side of the door, your friends were looking at each other like they were thoroughly disappointed with themselves, not you. “I can’t believe (y/n) feels like she can’t trust us with this. I feel so.. terrible,” Blaine was completely distraught that you felt that way.

“I know. We reacted so harshly when we found out, though. No wonder she felt like she couldn’t tell us. Ugh! I feel like a terrible friend,” Rachel was almost in tears now. “Hey, we all feel horrible. She’s our baby girl and we can’t have her feeling like we won’t support any decision she makes. Even if it is to date that..” Kurt stops as he sees his friends giving him wary looks. “..that great..singer..”

They all looked at each other in confirmation and pushed open the grand doors. Both heads inside snapped up to the intruders. “Guys? Wh-wh-what are you doing here?” Panic was evident in your eyes. Sebastian discreetly took your hand in his, the action not going unnoticed.

“We know, (y/n),” Artie spoke up. “Y-You do? Know what exactly?” “That you and this.. male are dating,” Santana cringed. “We found his phone at the Lima Bean and saw.. pictures,” Kurt visibly shuddered.

With a defeated sigh, you flopped onto the couch. “I’m so sorry, you guys. It’s just..”

“Yeah. We know, baby girl. I must admit we didn’t react well at first, but hearing what you just said.. we feel awful, sweetheart,” Kurt sympathized. “That was never my goal. I really do care a lot for Sebastian and if you all would try and keep me from being with him, it would tear me apart.”

Artie wheeled forward. “We know (n/n). We realize that now and we’re going to try and be supportive. Just as long as he gives us a reason not to.” He have a pointed look in Sebastian’s direction. “R-really? Oh my gosh! Thanks you guys! You won’t regret it, trust me.” “Yeah we better not,” Santana eyed Sebastian.

Sebastian took your hand. “I’m really thankful for this, you guys. (Y/n) means everything to me. So much so I’d give up singing to keep her. I’ll do my absolute best to keep her happy.”

You grinned up at him. You were short, okay? Besides, it doesn’t help he’s a freaking giant. “Keep her happy and we won’t make you quit singing,” Blaine stated. “But if you fail. You will suffer the consequences,” Santana added.

“I agree wholeheartedly. Besides, if I ever did anything to hurt my- our little (y/n), I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

The New Directions looked at each other and silently agreed. “Have fun kids,” Santana said. “Keep it classy,” Kurt added. After hugging all of them and Sebastian surprisingly shaking the guys’ hands and getting his phone back, they took their leave.

“Well. That went better than expected.” “See? I told you they’d be cool,”  Sebastian said with a smirk. “You really like being right, don’t you?” you asked. “I like being right about us.” With a wink and kiss, neither of you could stop beaming.

smh characters as things i've done
  • jack: hit on a boy by asking him to help me stretch before exercising; made sure to stretch so as to show off my ass
  • bitty: baked six dozen cookies, four pies, and three pans of brownies for a church potluck w my grandma, all the while talking shit abt the people we would see there
  • shits: caused a scene at thanksgiving with my dad’s family by showing up with dyed hair and pierced ears; walked (was escorted) into a different room while shouting abt gender identity & expression
  • ransom: laughed so hard at my chem teacher’s bad chemistry pun that i almost had a panic attack
  • holster: belted “don’t rain on my parade” at three in the morning while drunk off my ass walking thru town w my friends
  • lardo: walked into my first party at a new school (the only out queer kid, small, effeminate, part asian), chugged half a bottle of fireball, took three shots, grabbed a beer, and said, “‘sup, boys?”
  • dex: hit my best friend (whom i had a crush on) in the arm with a baseball bat because he wouldn’t stop telling me to calm down, then punched him in the other shoulder when he said it again
  • nursey: said, “i’ll have you know i’m very graceful” before tripping on nothing, skinning both of my knees, & running into a wall
  • chowder: casually dropping into the splits in the middle of conversations; constantly showing ppl that i can put my legs behind my head
  • tango: stayed up for the first three days straight of one of my summer vacations reading wikipedia articles
  • whiskey: showed up to a frat party specifically to hit on athletes & mooch booze
  • ollie & wicks: dated the boy who had the locker next to mine for five years (& we’re still together)
  • alicia (bonus): showed up to a photoshoot 15 minutes late in three-day-old sweatpants w spiked starbucks

“Nico, you absolutely cannot go out with him.”

“What? That’s not fair. Besides I don’t even—”

“Jay, you can’t tell him what to do. Nico can go out out with whomever he wants.”

“Thanks Piper, but I wasn’t planning on—”

“No I’ve talked to him a few times and he doesn’t seem like Nico’s type.”

“My type?”

“Types can change, Jason. Love is always changing you know.”

“Ew no stop. I did nothing but talk—”

“BUT YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN THE WAY HE WAS EYING YOU!”

“So what? Nico’s attractive. Anyone would be ogling at him.”

“Oh my gods SHUT UP! You’re both so embarrassing!”

I want more embarrassingly parental!jasper

“My problem is that I fall in love with words rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts instead of reality and it will be the death of me.”