grab a cactus!

I was taught in psychology 101 that children learn not to touch the stove by touching it once and realizing it’s hot. Same with grabbing a cactus or looking into the sun. Once they find out that it hurts, they stop doing it. So it should come as no surprise that when I trust you and end up getting hurt, eventually I stop. But what I don’t get is why I had to let you hurt me 5 times before learning to stay away.

Lee Daehwi Mafia AU

warnings: needles, tattoos

  • you were a tattoo artist at a local tattoo studio
  • you worked there with your older brother, who had been good friends with some of the members of 101 in high school
  • because of that, whenever a new member joined 101, they went to your studio to get their 101 tattoo
  • you and your brother had complied an entire binder of the different “101″ designs you’d come up with so far
  • one night, you were just sketching at the front  desk of the studio because your brother was getting the latest shipment of ink
  • a group of guys came in, and you recognized a few of them as higher-ups of 101
  • they’d come by before to get other work done by your brother, and you’d done touch-ups on kang dongho’s back tattoo as well
  • they greet you and gesture towards a small guy, probably the same age as you, clearly terrified
  • “ah, (y/b/n) isn’t here right now,” you explained, “you can wait for him if you’d like, or i can do it”
  • they agreed that it would be better to just get it over 
  • you asked the guys to wait in the front, leading him to your smaller studio room and settling him into the chair
  • “so, I’m (y/n), and obviously i’ll be working on you today” you introduced yourself
  • “l-lee daehwi,” he replied, sending you a nervous smile
  • you smiled at him, “i’m not gonna ask how a cute guy like you ended up running the likes of kang dongho and ong seongwoo”
  • daehwi laughed shakily at that, pushing the silvery-blonde hair out of his face
  • “so, here’s some of the 101 tattoos that i’ve done before” you leaned over, showing him the binder of tattoos you’d already done, glancing over at him as he exhaled nervously
  • “you scared of needles?”
  • “something like that”
  • he ends up not really being a fan of any of the samples, so you work with him to find something he likes
  • he ends up settling on a simple, clean ‘101′ right underneath his collarbone
  • you prepare the paper and have him take off his shirt
  • he turns kind of red as he’s unbuttoning his black collared shirt, so you turn away since he’s obviously uncomfortable
  • you handed him a mirror and held the paper up underneath his collarbone to just check and make sure it was okay
  • he tells you it’s fine, and you grab a disinfecting wipe, carefully wiping the area
  • he hissed at the cold, obviously super nervous
  • “hey, i want you to take a deep breath” you said, concerned about him
  • daehwi did as you asked, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth
  • “you know, if you don’t want to do this, i can tell dongho my machinery’s not working or something,” you said gently, placing a hand on his arm “i’ve known him forever, he’ll believe me”
  • daehwi sighed “no, i’ll do it, i just wanna get this over with”
  • you shrugged, leaning over to grab some sterile gloves before opening the box of sterile equipment that your brother had sterilized that morning
  • as you did so, you explained to daehwi what was going to happen, how much pain he would feet, etc
  • after setting up the necessary equipment, you told him that you’d get started, using a single-tipped needle to begin your outlining
  • as you started, daehwi bit down on his lip, clearly in pain
  • “daehwi, breathe,” you said quietly, pausing your actions
  • daehwi nodded, sighing before breathing deeply, body visibly relaxing
  • once he was a lot more relaxed, you started again, trying to strike up a conversation with him to distract him
  • you told him about this one time a guy tried to get you to tattoo “suck my dick” across his knuckles, which made daehwi smile
  • when you were done with the tattoo, which only took about half an hour to complete given how small and simple it was, you noticed that daehwi was clearly relaxed and comfortable
  • you wiped off the blood that had beaded up before carefully covering the tattoo with a bandage
  • as you helped daehwi out of the chair, you tried to explain to him how to take care of the tattoo, but he was clearly out of it
  • as you brought him back to dongho and his little squad lounging in the front room, you scribbled your name and number on a piece of paper, handing it to daehwi
  • “text me so that i can explain to you how to take care of that,” you explained, pointing to his collarbone “i don’t trust these idiots to remember what they ate for breakfast, let alone detailed instructions”
  • daehwi smiled and nodded, hurrying to follow the others out of the shop
  • “you don’t give your number out often” your brother drawled from the front desk’s chair, feet up on the desk
  • you jumped, not realizing that he’d been sitting there
  • “when did you get back?” you asked, clutching your chest in fright
  • “just got back,” he explained, “you finally trying to tap that 101 good good?”
  • you rolled your eyes with a small blush, heading back to your small studio to clean up
  • “he was cute” your brother yelled after you with a smirk
  • he was cute, a fact you came to realize with the daily selcas he texted you to show you what his tattoo looked like, making sure it looked correct
  • (it always did)
  • one day you’re coming back from the pharmacy where you’d gone to buy more sterile gloves/bandages and there’s a cute little cactus sitting on the front desk
  • “hey (y/n),” your brother wiggled his eyebrows at you “your boy crush stopped by and left that for you”
  • you blushed, grabbing the cactus and taking it to your studio
  • your room seemed a bit dreary, and i just wanted to say thank you for helping me not be so nervous about my first tattoo!” daehwi had texted you when you asked him what the occasion was for the plant
  • adorable
  • when 101 brings another recruit in by the name of yoo seonho, daehwi tags along with dongho and seongwoo
  • your brother tattoos seonho this time, who’s a lot more excited and eager than daehwi was, so dongho, seongwoo and daehwi all watch him lmao
  • but as seonho’s discussing whether he wants his entire back or chest to read “101 ride or die”, daehwi ducks out of your brother’s room to say hi to you
  • he sits in your little studio and you two end up talking all through seonho’s session
  • “hey kid, it’s time to go,” dongho stuck his head into your office, smiling gently at daehwi
  • “ok!” daehwi got up out of his chair
  • “this was nice” you smiled at him, taking the mug of tea that you’d made for him back
  • “yeah it was,” daehwi smiled back at you, pausing before turning fully to look at you
  • “hey, (y/n), i was wondering if you might want to go on a date some time? like to a cafe or something, to talk like this”
  • you grin at him “i’d love you, and you already have my number, so just text me!”
  • you two start dating, and while your brother’s not too keen on the idea, he warms up to it
  • daehwi will stop by the tattoo parlor to say hi to you
  • he lets you draw on his skin (with a pen, not actual needles) to come up with new ideas
  • he’s so kind and pure it’s hard to believe that he’s in 101
  • but he’s a devoted boyfriend who tries to support you no matter what

this series has wrecked my internet history

“how long does a semi-automatic pistol take to fire through one magazine”

“how to make a car drift”

“would a bullet shot from x meters go through a body”

“how to tattoo someone”

“tattoo process”

it’s ok its worth it

A little something I wrote for @roses-and-oceans because watching her take down 100 cactuars was a nightmare and I couldn’t help myself.

Gender Neutral Reader and the Chocobros.


The Cactuar Incident

“Please, j-just pull it out! I can’t take it anymore!” 
You stood there, looking down at the whimpering blonde as he lay below the four of you on his stomach. Today’s mission had truly been a troublesome one, regardless of its successful outcome. You had to take down a hundred cactuars before dawn and you and the boys had just managed to fill the quota.
Injuries were to a minimal. All for except poor Prompto whom had to be carried back to camp. 
“Hold still, Prom, I can’t when you’re squirming so much,” Noctis said as he carefully took hold of the cactuar that was snuggly attached to his friend’s ass. 

“Don’t get any needles on you,” Ignis adviced as he popped open the medkit and looked over at the two. Gladio stood a bit farther away, trying his best to contain his laughter. You gave the taller man a scolding punch to the arm before going to kneel by Prompto and hold down his waist. 
“Hey, I told you to watch your back,” Gladio teased. 
“Enough bickering and get to it already,” Ignis sighed and nodded to Noct, “Pull when you’re ready.”

Prompto let out a pained whine as Noctis began to pull, unable to keep himself from shying away from his friend’s efforts. 
“D-Damn, it’s really in there. Just how fast was it going at you?” Noctis released the cactuar to pull out a couple needles from his hands before taking hold once more. 
“I don’t kno-OHH!” Prom shouted and jerked his body as Noct gave it another tug.
You scoffed and motioned for you and Noctis to switch positions. 
“Here, let me do it,” you said as the prince took your place and you grabbed the cactus-like creature. “Prompto, I need you to count to three. Can you do that?” 

The blonde nodded, clenching his fists and biting his lip. 
“ Y/N , I thought you’d at least buy him dinner before going to town on his ass,” Gladio laughed as he went to stand by Ignis. 
You bit back a snarky retort, wanting this to be over and done with. 
“Prom, start counting.”

“One…. t-two… thre-EEEEH!!” 
With a swift and hefty tug you managed to dislodge the cactuar from Prompto’s rear, tossing it aside and leaning back on your heels. 
“Nice one,” Noctis commented, giving his blonde friend a pat on the back. Prompto whimpers as he lets his body go limp on the blanket below him, looking up at Ignis who moved the med kit closer to him.

“You’re on your own for this one, my friend.” Ignis adjusts his glasses before getting up and giving the discarded cactuar a kick. 
“I’m not gonna be able to sit for days,” Prompto said as he reached around and started removing needles that had stuck through his pants. 
You gave the back of his leg a gentle pat before standing to stretch your legs. You were about to turn to Gladio, finally about to give him a piece of your mind when you heard shuffling behind you and he conjured his broadsword, swinging it down beside you. 

You jumped back, clutching your chest at the heart attack you nearly had. 
“Gladio, I swear to gods-” You were suddenly shoved aside, knocking you on your ass beside Prompto. 

“It’s getting away!” Gladio grunted as he swung his sword again at the cactuar that had somehow sprung back to life and was running around the campsite. 
“Gladio, you’re going to break something!” Ignis shouted as he stepped out of the tent with a grocery bag filled with ingredients, cautious as to not stand in the reckless man’s way. 

Gladio swung down his sword, effectively stopping the cactuar in its tracks. “Noct, a little help?”
On command, Noctis sprinted forward and gave the cactuar a good kick, sending it flying with a squeak into the dark of night. The two shared a high five, turning to look at the three of you with wide grins that quickly disappeared as you glared daggers at them. Noct quickly turned away, whistling to himself and kicking at the dirt.

“Hey, at least it’s gone,” Gladio said, holding his hands up in defense. 

“If you could stop playing soccer and help start the fire, that would be wonderful,” Ignis scowled and set the bag on the table nearby, motioning for Noctis to help him make dinner. 

“Y/N, while you’re down here, c-could you help me?”
You looked over at the embarrassed Prompto, who was handing you a pair of tweezers. You chuckled and nodded, motioning for him to move closer to the fire that Gladio quickly started up. 

“Sorry ‘bout knocking you over, Y/N,” Gladio said as he sat on the other side of Prompto. 
You rolled your eyes and leaned down to start plucking the needles Prom couldn’t reach. “Well if you ever get a cactuar in your ass, I ain’t helping.” 

qwerty67qwerty  asked:

IMAGINE: seán and signe tried to tiptoe out the house, they were scared, they were trapped. they didn't know whether they'd make it out or not. seán opened the door before creeping into the hallway, signe following shortly after. a sharp, high pitched laugh echoed behind them. they froze up. "RUN!" signe yelled at seán. he hesitated. signe reached beside her, grabbing a cactus, lobbing it at the glitch bitch, he hissed. they both ran as fast as they could, the sounds of anti shortly behind them

man this shit is better than my writing will ever be 

-mod annie

anonymous asked:

core 6 on a random roadtrip?

  • Their junior year of highschool Minkus buys them tickets for Coachella.
  • They were all going to fly there but Smackle is terrified of flying and the only way to get her to go is to drive there.
  • It’s a 40 hour car ride and Cory literally begs them to fly but they refuse to leave Smackle and decide that if they leave a week early enough they can stop in different cities on their way through.
  • Minkus gets them an eight passenger mom van to drive and Maya lovingly dubs it the “silver bullet”.
  • Everyone tries to convince her to call it something different since a silver bullet could be thought of as dirty, but she refuses to call it anything else. 
  • Lucas drives most of the time because he is the best driver and no one else is quite as trusted to get them to California safely.
  • Riley isn’t allowed to drive because she gets distracted by tall buildings and pretty scenery. 
  • Maya sits in the front passenger seat when Lucas drives because he likes to play country music and Maya would rather jump out of the car than listen to another song about cowboy boots. 
  • Zay makes Lucas take a detour to DC so that he can stop at Langley. He and Maya both spend forty five minutes trying to figure out how they can join the CIA. 
  • Smackle gets offended that they’d rather join the CIA than the NSA. 
  • They spend the day at the Smithsonian and Farkle/Smackle/Maya get really into all of the science exhibits. 
  • Maya leaves them both shocked when she wins a science trivia contest against the two of them.
  • Farkle and Smackle don’t speak to her for two hours until she reminds them that they’ll always be better at everything else than she is. 
  • While driving through Tennessee Farkle sees a sign for the Oak Ridge nuclear facility and forces Lucas to stop there.
  • They spend half a day learning about all of the crazy stuff that went down there back during the cold war.
  • He and Smackle get in trouble for trying to sneak into the top secret area and they’re all forced to leave.
  • While everyone is asleep Lucas drives straight through to Nashville and checks them into a hotel. 
  • When Maya wakes up to see a giant cowboy themed neon sign she yells “absolutely not” and looks up busses to NYC.
  • They spend two days in Nashville and Smackle gets really into the southern aesthetic. She wears cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, and all denim. 
  • Maya and Riley get into a karaoke competition on Broadway at Tootsies in the afternoon and they win $200 dollars. 
  • Since they’re minors they can’t get into any of the bars after ten and Maya promises Lucas that once they’re twenty-one they can come back and have the “full Nashville experience.” 
  • Once they’re almost out of Tennessee they stop at Neely’s BBQ in Memphis because of how much Riley loves the Neely’s TV show.
  • Riley gets BBQ Spaghetti and cries over how good it is and how she’s never leaving Memphis.
  • Zay has to throw her over his shoulder to get her out of the restaurant. 
  • Maya buys three boxes of takehome BBQ spaghetti and a few bottles of Neely’s BBQ sauce so that Riley can have some on the road.
  • Riley eats all three boxes within two hours of leaving the restaurant and they have to pull over at a rest stop because she gets sick.
  • They stop in Little Rock, Arkansas because Zay saw something at a rest stop about gem stone digging and he wants to do it.
  • Lucas finds a Ruby in his hunk of dirt and has it turned into a necklace at the tourist shop for Maya.
  • Farkle and Smackle find a bunch of awesome gemstones and buy little collectable books to keep theirs in.
  • Zay and Riley turn all of theirs into jewelry and they both walk around acting like they’re super rich.
  • Maya gives hers to Riley because Riley’s excitement over them was adorable.
  • After they leave Little Rock they get a hotel on the side of the road in between Little Rock and Oklahoma City. The hotel gets their bed request wrong and they all have to sleep on one giant king sized bed.
  • When they wake up in the morning the girls are all cuddled up with eachother, Zay has Maya’s legs on top of him, Farkle is falling off of the edge of the bed, and Lucas is on the floor. 
  • They make a stop in Oklahoma City because Maya wants to go to the Bombing memorial. She buys a bouquet of flowers and puts a flower on the names of everyone who has a birthday that week.
  • Maya ends up walking off by herself for about an hour and just crying because the memorial is so beautiful, and being from NYC and visiting the 911 memorial she feels connected to the victims.
  • She sits quietly in her seat during the hour and a half drive to Amarillo, Texas and decides to herself to paint something for the museum when she gets home. 
  • They stop in Amarillo and go to Cadillac Ranch because Lucas and Zay went there when they were little and they wanted to see if their names were still painted on a car. 
  • It of course wasn’t and they get super offended for about ten minutes before deciding to repaint the cars.
  • All six of the kids paint their own area of a car. Riley paints a purple cat, Lucas paints his name, Farkle paints a robot, Smackle paints flowers, Zay paints a self portrait of himself, and Maya turns the entire car into the NYC skyline.
  • They all have dinner at Cadillac ranch and lay under the stars until it closes. Then they get a hotel right outside of Amarillo.
  • At the hotel they get two rooms with a conjoined door. Smackle and Zay stay in one room watching some history film, Riley and Farkle stay in the other watching Hairspray, Lucas and Maya end up out in the hot tub all night talking about life and trying to count the stars.
  • The next morning Zay finds out that they have to drive through Albuquerque and he begs everyone to stop at the HSM school.
  • They do, and since school is in session they pretend like they go there so that they can get in.
  • Zay and Riley stand in front of Sharpay’s locker and basically cry for ten minutes until Maya has to force them to leave.
  • Riley also begs Farkle to reenact some of the scenes between Troy and Gabriella that take place in the hallway. He does but then the principal calls them out to ask why they arent in class and they take off running  to their car.
  • Lucas gets tired of driving and Maya tries to drive. She lasts for about an hour before they collectively decide she has to stop because she’s trying to race other cars.
  • She also played a game called “let’s piss off everyone” where she drove in the fast lane at the same speed as the car next to her in the slow lane. People were honking at her. There was a line of about twenty cars behind them.
  • Zay had to take over driving because Maya was definitely going to get them killed. 
  • When they get to Phoenix Zay dares Maya to grab a cactus. She does and ends up getting stuck.
  • They have to go to the ER to get it taken out because Farkle doesn’t want her to get an infection and Smackle convinces her that if she does get an infection he entire hand will fall off.
  • That was the moment that Lucas decided not to leave Zay and Maya alone together.
  • Riley convinces everyone to stop at this restaurant in Tempe called Phoenix Market where she orders her weight in Nachos and declares that she’s never leaving Phoenix.
  • They get a hotel in Tempe and Farkle begs them to stop at a Walmart so that he can buy eggs and a skillet for a science experiment. 
  • It’s the first Walmart that Maya, Riley, Farkle, and Smackle have ever been in (Since they dont have them in NY) and they spend two hours going crazy over all of the things you can buy. 
  • “LUCAS!!!! YOU CAN BUY A BIKE, A POTTED PLANT, A GUN, AND A WHOLE BAKED CHICKEN HERE!!!”  “Yeah, Maya. That’s Walmart.” “THIS IS AMAZING I’M NEVER LEAVING.” 
  • The next morning everyone wakes up to find that Farkle and Smackle are missing. When they look outside of the hotel room they see the two of them with a skillet on the ground in the parking lot and the two of them are frying eggs.
  • They have scrambled eggs for breakfast and Riley spends twenty minutes complaining about the 115 degree weather in the spring.
  • The drive from Tempe to Coachella is 3 and a half hours and in that time Lucas convinces them to stop at In n out three times.
  • He practically cries when he takes a bite because the last time he ate In n Out was in Dallas like four years ago and he’s missed it so much.
  • Riley doesnt understand what the big deal about In n Out is and Lucas kicks her out of the trip.
  • Maya kicks him from under the table and he invites her back in. 
  • When they finally get to Coachella they find out Minkus has gotten them a huge camper for the weekend and they spend the weekend having the best time ever.
  • After Coachella is over they decide to go a slightly different way home and end up taking a slight detour to LA where they spend three days.
  • Once they leave LA they drive to the Grand Canyon and spend a day listening to Maya cry about how beautiful all of the colors are and Riley cry about how clear the sky is. 
  • Then they drive through Vegas and listen to Zay cry about how much he wishes he was twenty one because he wants to have a night like the hangover. 
  • They also stop in Denver, Chicago, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh before getting home. 
  • They dub it the greatest trip ever and decide to do it every summer until they’re dead. 





    SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG BUT I GOT SO INTO IT. I COULDVE GONE ON ABOUT DENVER, CHICAGO, CLEVELAND, AND PITTSBURGH BUT I DIDNT WANNA BE ANNOYING.

so i bought 2 cacti today and they were in the back seat footwell next to a bag that had a chocolate i bought in it and i reached back to grab the bag like i gripped so i’d grab the plastic of the bag with the chocolate in it and i 100% grabbed the cactus like i 100% gripped it there was not one single ounce of non-grip and i lifted my hand away and the cactus held onto me for like a second then it fell back down and i just sat there in my car silently screaming for like 2 minutes and my hand is still sort of tingly 

HOLY FUCK I JUST KNOCKED SOMETHING OFF OF MY SHELF AND QUICKLY GRABBED IT SO IT DIDNT FALL BUT I DIDN’T LOOK AT WHAT IS WAS UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE AND GUESS WHAT IT WAS THAT I FORCEFULLY GRABBED

A FUCKING CACTUS

I FULL ON GRABBED A CACTUS AND NOW THERE ARE LITTLE NEEDLES IN MY HAND PLEASE SEND HELP