Back in September, Louis C.K. referred to Sarah Palin as a cunt-face jazzy wondergirl. Or more accurately, he sent the following message to her via Twitter: “@SarahPalinUSA kudos to your dirty hole, you fucking jackoff cunt-face jazzy wondergirl.” This was the seventh in a string of tweets that he’d kicked off about an hour earlier with this: “I’m on a plane to LA where I’m doing the tonight show friday. I’m kindof hammered on rum n cokes. bad idea.” There were some other Palin-centric tweets, arguably more offensive even than the above, and some nonsense about the Beatles and Jews, and then things eventually wound down with: “my head hurts. The turbulence on this flight is nasty. uuuuuugh. I hate the letter H. I ate it. I’m very tired. Verrry.”
Comedian Morgan Murphy kindly outlines a set of rules to sexting with grace and dignity. It includes this one.
Beware of Auto Correct It was Friday night, and I was on my couch watching “Battlestar Galactica,” when I got a text message from a man I’ll call Stan, because I don’t know anyone named Stan. Stan wrote, “What are you doing?” I responded, “I’m just lying here.” He texted, “I’m so hard right now.” I responded, “My area is also ready.” He asked about my boobs, and I informed him, “They’re here.” He said he wanted to touch my vagina; I said, “Ditto.” Things were going swimmingly. Then I received the penultimate sext: “I want to cum in you now.” I replied skillfully, “Oh God, cum in me, yes.” Or at least that’s what I intended to write. You see, I have an iPhone, and sometimes it kindly changes your words for you. I hit send and then noticed the error. One letter, big difference. I’d written “Oh God, cum in me eyes.” CUM IN ME EYES. I felt like a weird, perverted pirate chasing a cabin boy round the decks.
Campaign slogans are generally crafted to obscure (or redefine) political reality. So GQ contributors Scott Brown and Anthony King bypassed the system and came up with new bumper stickers for GOP presidential hopefuls, ones that capture who they really are, not who they pretend to be. Click here to see them all. (They also threw in a new bumper sticker for Obama. Just for kicks.)