gowa10

The Morning After.

A/N: This is inspired by a previous imagine titled Yes, No, Maybe which can be found here.

I knew as soon as my eyes peered open to the unwelcome sunlight I would be stuck recovering from a hangover for the next few hours and maybe even longer. There was an incessant pounding of my head that was hard to ignore and I struggled to even open my eyes, rising some from the comfortable blanket I was hidden under. My eyes drifted around the room as my vision cleared only to realize I wasn’t at home.

I was at Kieran’s.

I tossed the blanket to the side and was stuck looking to my bare legs, my body only covered by an oversized OKC t-shirt which I knew to be his. I groaned to myself, still trying to piece together all of the events of the last 12 hours or so. I hadn’t even looked to the clock but I was sure it was far later than I wanted it to be.

I didn’t bother putting on any more layers of clothing. I just headed off to the kitchen as if this was my home and I was comfortable but that was the furthest thing from the truth. I was nervous to see Kieran and have him greet me based off of whatever transpired upon my arrival last night.

It didn’t take long for me to find him, leaning against the counter plopping a piece of fruit into his mouth as he leaned against his kitchen counter, his iPad occupying his other hand. I stood in the doorway unnoticed until I cleared my throat.

I expected him to look up to me then and acknowledge my presence but he decided to forego eye contact, instead just speaking while his head continued hanging and taking in whatever the contents were on his iPad.

“Your dad called. I told him you were asleep. Downstairs of course,” he explained nonchalantly while scrolling his device. My eyes widened in fear. My father knew our relationship was over so I could only imagine what his thoughts were hearing I had spent the night at Kieran’s.

“Did you…?” I didn’t have to continue my question for him to know what I was referencing. Still in the same position, he responded with “He doesn’t think anything happened. I told him you weren’t feeling well and I picked you up to bring you here.”

It amazed me even if Kieran possibly was annoyed with my recent actions, he was able to still find little ways to look out for me because the last thing I wanted to explain to my father was me stumbling drunk into my ex’s home to embarrass myself.

“Thank you,” was all I could muster up. He didn’t respond.

I took a few steps forward, unable to continue dealing with his cold demeanor. “I’m not sure what I did last night but I’m sorry if you’re upset with me for it.”

“Why apologize if you don’t know what you did?” His eyes finally looked up to me, waiting for a genuine answer. I wasn’t much able to provide one. A chuckle released from his throat and he finally put his iPad down to put his full attention on me. Little did I know, I wouldn’t want it after hearing what he had to say. “You came storming in here like you owned the place, insisting that I explain to you who this girl was and who that girl was. That’s what you did.”

My eyes lowered in shame as I began to somewhat remember the events he was referencing. “I just had a little too much to drink…”

“A little is a fucking understatement.” Kieran had always hated when I drank. Always. It was probably the cause of many arguments throughout our relationship. I wasn’t always unpleasant when I was drunk. I could be pretty free and enticing under the spell of certain alcohol but Kieran wasn’t much a fan of my sexual advances while I was under the influence. That wasn’t enough to excuse my drunkenness.

“Why do you do this anyway?” He continued. “Barging in here like you truly care when you really don’t because as soon as I even give you the idea that I’m possibly interested in giving us a try again you run off afraid. Why do you keep coming here?”

And he wasn’t lying. I had found myself here quite often in the past few months no matter the opposition of my friends and my own mind. Of course it all came while I was under the influence so once I sobered up, I was a completely different character. In reality I didn’t think there was any repairing to our relationship. We had outgrown each other, starting off as childhood sweethearts to now where we were full-grown adults with different interests, different paths.

Part of me wanted to let go and be able to move on but the other side of me couldn’t help but cling to the past. I had a fear of the unknown and the unknown was a future without Kieran.

“I don’t know.”

It seemed my answer wasn’t satisfactory because he began to walk away, only to have me pull him back. “Look it isn’t easy just letting you go. I thought maybe it would be but it hasn’t been and I just drink and…I’m sorry, ok?”

“Yeah. Sure. I have to go to practice so…see you?” Without another word he began his steps out of the kitchen and to the door, I presumed, leaving me behind to sulk in my ex’s kitchen.

gif credit to gowa10.