gourmet sandwich shop

I am the friend David Brooks took to lunch.

Yes, I panicked at the gourmet sandwich shop because I hate sandwiches. We went to a Colombian restaurant but David assumed that it was Mexican because he heard people speaking Spanish. After David struggled with the menu, the owner of the restaurant made him a sandwich.

I confess that my podcasts are often of the trashy Real Housewives theme and my fancy stroller was acquired after it was stolen from Nordstrom. I don’t drink wine and I don’t know much about David Foster Wallace.

In spite of it all, David Brooks is kind enough to be my friend.

Dear everyone who thinks they’re secretly annoying their friends every time they open their mouths or obsesses about embarrassing themselves in front of their friends:

You’re fine.  If David Brooks still has people willing to go out to lunch with him even after he pulls this shit

Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican. 

and then writes about it in the New York fucking Times, you cannot possibly be the most embarrassing person on the planet, and your brain can shut up.

David Brooks: the reason for inequality is uneducated people can’t order fancy sandwiches
Recently I took a friend with only a high school degree to lunch. Insensitively, I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop. Suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named “Padrino” and “Pomodoro” and ingredients like soppressata, capicollo and a striata baguette. Read more