Okay, on the spur of the moment I decided to transcribe the lyrics of Abstract Lust, Eren’s first character song (the one released last year at a jpn event only and recently leaked). I’m pretty sure the words/kanjis are correct but if you catch some errors, let me know, please, so we can perfect this version together!
As for the translation…okay I’m not gonna lie, I will never understand how people manage to translate lyrics, like, they often don’t follow grammar rules, you don’t know where the commas should be or even when a period ends, and to me it looks like free form! And the singing doesn’t help, like, at all! It frustrates me so much! So really, if you’re one of those talented people who can easily translate lyrics, you have all my respect.
Anyway I tried. I’m nowhere near fluent in Japanese, and English is not my native language so; there’s gonna be lots (LOTS!!!) of mistakes, the meaning of certain sentences is still obscure to me and the English might not be pleasant to read. So. Help me. If you can find better ways to translate/reword all of this, don’t be shy and help the fandom out by providing the best translation.
[in these brackets I added words that weren’t in the original lyrics] (in these ones I put uh observations? lmao)
hi, this is really important ! please dont scroll past. i think its time that the fandom really had a talk about its most toxic abuser… ocelot.
as a mentally ill abuse survivor its incredibly concerning to me to see so many ppl in the mgs fandom blindly supporting and even identifying as the character revolver ocelot… this is not ok. hes canonically a murderer, torturer, an abuser and a RAPIST, and there are many pedophilic undertones in how hes written. maybe a lot of ppl havent actually played the games, and dont know about this content. but im going to write it all out for you and hopefully youll realize that yr supporting rape and abuse by apologizing for the things ocelot does :/
im not even going to focus on all the times ocelot is shown to murder or torture ppl… im sure everyone knows abt that, but i would remind you that hes canonically a sadist who ENJOYS torture.
anyway, lets start with mgs1….
in mgs1, if snake submits to ocelot’s torture, you get a scene where ocelot says hes going to rape meryl:
you might be able to say that this is just a threat and empty words to upset snake (tbh this is really some apologist rape culture stuff to even go there as your first response to this, but i wont even get into that) if not for this later scene in the meryl ending, where meryl heavily implies that she had to endure stuff “worse than” torture:
スネーク: メリル？メリル、大丈夫か？ (Meriru? Meriru, daijoubu ka?) Meryl? Meryl, are you okay?
メリル: 大丈夫か、しか言えないの・・・？ (Daijoubu ka, shika ienai no…?) “Are you okay”? Is that all you can say?
スネーク: メリル、つらい思いをさせた。(Meriru, tsurai omoi wo saseta.) Meryl… you had a terrible experience.
メリル: いいえ、つらくはなかったわ。奴等の拷問に私、屈しなかった。(Iie, tsuraku wa nakatta wa. Yatsura no goumon ni watashi, kusshinakatta.) No, it didn’t get that bad. I didn’t give in to their torture.
スネーク: 拷問？(Goumon?) Torture?
メリル: それ以上のひどいことも・・・。私も闘ってたの、あなたと同じように。(Sore ijou no hidoi koto mo… Watashi mo tatakattetano, anata to onaji you ni.) And things more cruel than that… I was fighting too, the same as you.
this is pretty much just how it was translated in the english version. its not explicit, she doesnt come out and exactly say I WAS RAPED, but with ocelots rape threat earlier in the game its very clear what she means… ocelot at the very least ordered her to be raped, if not partook in the act himself, which he probably did because he CANONICALLY is a sadist who enjoys torture. yes, ocelot is gay, but you dont have to be attracted to someone to rape them…
heres a scene in mgs3 where ocelot gropes eva without her consent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5mS_7oIx5Y&t=4m15s yes, hes touching her breasts because hes trying to figure out who she is and not for gratification….. but it still displays that he has NO CONCERN for eva’s sexual boundaries. thats SEXUAL ASSAULT.
so ocelot is canonically a rapist and a sexual assaulter… thats undeniable. but theres also a lot that implies that ocelot is an abuser, and it doesnt take a lot to conclude that he groomed solid snake and liquid snake for problematic purposes :/
for instance, look at this convo between kaz and ocelot in mgsv where kaz accuses ocelot of getting off on torturing eli, an 11-12 y/o child:
K: Ocelot. You get too many kicks from your “art of interrogation”. O: It’s not a matter of art. It’s about quick, minimal strokes of psychological warfare. That’s what gets the answers. And it’s the best way to keep both questioner and subject safe. The risks only increase the more an interrogation drags on. At that point, it causes as much pain for the inflicter as the inflicted. K: Hmph. Like I said, too many kicks.
obviously kaz is far from an unbiased observer here, but we know ocelot. it’s not at all unreasonable that he’d think this. whats most notable about this is that ocelot doesnt even deny the accusation… he goes on and on abt how his method is the best and does say he wont “go overboard”, but he doesnt actually contradict kaz’s accusation that he’d get off on torturing a child :/
then later on when ocelot finally does interrogate eli, the way he touches him is very uncomfortable:
what reason does ocelot have to violate elis personal space like this? its not explicitly sexual but in light of all his other behaviors its very questionable…
theres more stuff that ocelot does, too, thats not so easy to point out w specific clips. like the fact that ocelot spends the entirety of mgsv abusing kaz.
i think its pretty clear that ocelot has romantic feelings for big boss (he outright says so here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-KQOMGsf0M&t=4m03s, plus lots of other things to support it, im sure i dont have to dig that up to convince ppl on tumblr at least lol), but its not so obvious that big boss ever reciprocated them. imo, he didnt… theres really no point where big boss is shown having any feelings like that for ocelot. i think this is a lot clearer in the japanese version, the english version actually seems to have made their relationship MORE familiar. for example, big boss actually never calls ocelot adam in the truth tapes… he calls him “junior” (furigana over “son of the boss”). i sure hope big boss wouldnt call his lover “junior”….
オセ：では……ジョン。９年間忘れたことはなかったが私はしばらくあなたを忘れます。(Dewa… John. Kyuunen kan wasureta koto wa nakatta ga watashi wa shibaraku anata wo wasuremasu.) Well… John. I haven’t forgotten you in nine years, but I will forget you soon. ボス：ザ・ボスの息子（ジュニア）。また頼む。(Junia. Mata tanomu.) Junior… I’ll rely on you again.
also something i think that backs me up is how ocelot speaks to bb in these tapes… he uses very polite and formal language with him. he doesnt speak like this anywhere else in the game, not even to venom… he uses ore pronouns and casual/masculine speech usually. but when talking to bb it totally changes. he uses masu form, deferential language, and watashi, which is very formal/feminine for a male character to say. it’s very respectful but also not intimate. this is the way you talk to a stranger or your superior. he clearly respects big boss, but doesnt consider himself to have the right to use familiar speech with him. i think its really unlikely that a male character would be written in japanese speaking to his lover this way…
so, if ocelot is in love with big boss, but big boss doesnt return his feelings, i think this speaks a lot to the subtext of his behavior in the games. we know that despite this ocelot dedicates his whole life to bb… he even dies for him… so i think that really sheds some light on what he does to kaz in mgsv.
theres a lot more evidence that bb had a more intimate relationship w kaz (see: the entire sauna tape, date with kaz… basically, the whole of peace walker), and i think its clear that ocelot was jealous. he didnt overtly attack or insult kaz but thats exactly his MO… long manipulative conspiracies meant to take people down without them even realizing.
if you look at all of their interactions theres a revealing pattern in how ocelot speaks to kaz. he more or less does everything he can to undermine kaz in front of bb (venom). he contradicts kaz constantly, and sets himself up as the “rational voice” always. he negs kaz for being “too emotional”. this really is basically gaslighting… he puts up a civil front but in everything he says and does hes undermining kazs authority and the validity of his emotions. he’s trying to make kaz feel hysterical and invalid and worthless. its abusive.
i have no doubt that ocelot was a big factor in withholding the truth about v from kaz, too. the way he speaks to kaz in their post-credits scene, he seems really self-satisfied hearing how devastated kaz is to learn the truth. almost like he’s gloating. he knew that hiding it and then telling kaz later would totally destroy bb and kaz’s relationship, and he enjoyed doing it. he took away everything that kaz had and left him emotionally destroyed. just killing kaz wasnt enough, that’s how petty and vindictive and sick ocelot is.
lets not forget about the fact that ocelot was involved in les enfants terribles. in light of everything else ocelot does i find this so suspect. i dont think its really a reach to conclude that he had an ulterior motive getting involved in that project. big boss didnt return his feelings, but what if he could groom david or eli to?
in the post-credits scene with kaz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziCAzVuyJX0 ocelot more or less says that hes going to spend the rest of his life watching over david and eli. ocelot probably had a lot more involvement in eli’s life that we never saw but thats a lot of speculation… there is one concrete thing that proves ocelot was probably attracted to bb’s sons though. in mgs4, during the final fight, where he kisses snake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJ7zCUeEN_M&t=47s
and before you say that this is liquid ocelot and not ocelot, this kiss scene can ONLY trigger in the part of the liquid ocelot fight where it calls back to mgs3 and ocelot is coming back to himself. AFTER he’s been injecting himself with nanomachine suppressors and undoing the liquid brainwashing. he ONLY wants to kiss solid snake after his identity returns…
so, you dont think its a little bit messed up that this man participated in a project to clone a man who hes canonically attracted to… and then displays attraction to his children too??? ocelot helped make david and eli. he’s basically one of his parents. he helped raise them, directly and later indirectly. how is this not child grooming? ocelot loved big boss, but was rejected by big boss, then involved himself in a science experiment to clone him, then spent the rest of his life watching over and shaping the lives of these kids. umm….
i mean, think about it… what do you think ocelot got out of les enfants terribles? why would ocelot, who is otherwise so loyal to big boss that he would and does die for him, betray him like that?
kind of problematic, huh. :/
ocelot tortured people. he murdered people. he raped meryl, and probably others too. he destroyed kaz’s life out of jealousy. i think ocelot probably abused liquid, and likely solidus too.
i think ocelot is an interesting character… but hes a really bad person. i think if you look at all of this and try to defend him or even identify AS him… you kinda need to take a look at yourself imo. either you’re claiming that you too are a murderer, a sadist, a rapist, and an abuser, or you’re an apologist, erasing every horrible thing that ocelot did. whats wrong with you?
Oh my god a male character in one of these glamour shots! Hiro you didn’t have to get me anything for Christmas.
Actually, what I love is if I take this cover page and the one from 513 and merge them together you get the front and back cover of an L.L. Bean magazine.
Ok. Ok. Joking done, on to the chapter.
The chapter opens up with, AIZAWA! What are you doing 400 years in the past? You’re suppose to be teaching class 1-A ! No, actually this guy is Irene’s husband and Erza’s father.
(Wow fitting for Aizawa to be Erza’s dad seeing as Erza can also negate certain magic with her eye as well)
We learn that the dragon’s from the west were beaten but it was by Acnologia, who did a whole bunch of killing of dragon and people on both sides. I’ll bring this up in the follow up but I like this. Mashima is leaving out clues to Acnologia’s backstory which make me really eager for his turn to get a flashback. I still have an issue but, like I said, it’ll be in the follow up.
So we see that Irene is in her dragon transformation and her husband decides to be a dick. Saying she’ll become like Acnologia. While, one could say what he’s doing is awful, it’s justified. Irene’s husband says she’ll be like Acnologia which is a legitimate fear. They don’t have a country anymore, seeing how Acnologia destroyed it but also a ton of humans. Now one could say “if humans coexisted with dragons, why are they killing a woman for being like a dragon?” While dragons and humans coexisted there was never a dragon-human hybrid until Acnologia and if he is the only example they have to go off of, they are naturally scared. Plus, it’s only been a week since the war ended and it’s possible a lot of soldiers, like Irene’s husband, probably have some post war jitters and are more likely to jump to conclusions. And further more, the war was against dragons. While they may have coexisted for a long time, having whole waves of dragons sent at you probably generates a lack of trust.
While not!Aizawa has Irene taken away she pleads saying that she is pregnant but he doesn’t want to hear it.
So we see Irene suffer… Okay now we get into my biggest problem with the chapter and why I don’t like it as much as others. Many are saying how great this chapter was thanks to how dark it was and while these scenes are dark, I can’t fully accept them as dark and that’s mainly due to Mashima’s previous use of torture.
This kind of stuff is not new for fairy tail. It has had women being tortured in some way before: with Flare torturing Lucy, Erza in Kyoka’s dungeon, Lucy about to be tortured by Goumon, Mirajane by Irene earlier in this arc. Are all dark as this, or should be in theory/concept. But the thing is, Hiro has diluted the impact of torture by using it, not as tool to create levity but, a tool for fanservice, fetishes, and awkward humor. But if I had seen the same situation as those in something like Berserk, or if you want a shounen, Magi, I would feel this dread and horror like it should invoke. But when I see torture in FT all I see is this now
Not as true horror but as a fetish. But I am someone who believes everything comes down to execution, no matter how awkward the idea if the execution is good then it’ll be good. Which is why I would feel fear in series like Berserk or Magi, because they execute stuff like that as it should be. So let’s see how Hiro executes this torture: well it has her at least wearing some clothes in 2 panels and in the third it at least doesn’t go for full ass shot, the first panel has Irene blindfolded and in some fifty shades of gray device with the torturers wear black hoods and almost nude. Now wear this gets points over the Kyoka torture is these guards aren’t taking the time to make sexual comments on Irene. So on execution I give this torture scene a “tried but fumbled”.
So we she the transformation becoming more evident, with scales growing all over her body. And now not!Aizawa is back to be a dick. Okay, Irene states that she is pregnant and the only reason it isn’t showing is her magic is keeping Erza an embryo because she refuses to let her child to be born in conditions like this but, of course, not!Aizawa doesn’t believe her. But what makes me curious is his reaction to all this. His outrage claiming there is no child makes sense and when he first saw her transformation saying “I’m not married to a dragon monster” was more a figure of speech. But now I think he just doesn’t remember that this was soeone who he was married to. At the beginning it was justified but the narration says it’s been 3 years. In those 3 years he never cooled off and thought about his actions.
But doing all this finally awakens Irene’s Dragon form.
And here’s where I have to give Hiro credit where credit is due. This actually really well foreshadowing. If people don’t remember in chapter 486 :the fourth guest” she called herself the scarlet angel, even pointing out how he’s ‘Black winged” like the black angel.
And as we see, Irene and Acnologia both can turn into dragons and has the same avian wings, unlike Igneel and his bat-like wings. The torture scene with Irene also explains her actions with Mirajane and Hisui. Messing with their appearance and talking about how no one will love them afterwards. So props Hiro.
So after killing a bunch of people, Irene is in denial about her current form claiming to be human. And time passes by (but it seems like 400 as we’ll see later)
Irene meets Zeref who is able to make her appear human but not have a lot of qualities a human has.
This starts causing Irene to go nuts, wanting nothing more to be a full human once more. I’m curious if Acnologia feels this way and if he actually managed to learn this human appearance spell on his own or did Zeref show him. Also Irene has been carrying Erza all this time and hasn’t given birth yet, why? Is she scared. There is usually confusion about things like “is Natsu really 18 instead of 400+, seeing as he came through a time portal and didn’t actually age?” Well Erza is now confirmed to be 400+ years old genuinely.
OH GOD NIGHTMARE FUEL!!!
Umm… okay I’ve recovered. This scene is honestly one I feel is dark thanks to being executed properly and why I brought up the whole execution of a concept. I feel both dark glee and desperation from Irene and is a legitimate reason I could see this as dark as both a combination for it’s build up and not becoming a sexualized joke.
So she wants Erza to be born so she can attempt to enchant herself into Erza’s human body and be one with her. Kinda lazy justifying the title and term “I am you… you are me…” But as Irene found it impossible she abadoned Erza in Rosemary.
And here’s my other issue with this chapter. Irene now. I understand being so disappointed you get rid of your child and probably all the crap she put up with hardened her once kind personality. But what is caused her to gain this pety but queen-like attitude? It feels like Hiro is going back and fourth on he wants Irene to act like but It’s tough to see how she became this. This isn’t like Donquixote Doflamingo who was a ass since childhood and his tragedy just made him more twisted.
But Erza tells her off, saying she’s glad she was abandoned so she could meet her “true” family.
Okay that armor is stupid. I think what kills it is the thing on her head, it makes it looks like a customized version of her playboy bunny outfit. Why didn’t you change into Armadura Fairy, your strongest armor and one used to blow up an island and is a symbol of Fairy Tail.
Okay aside that I want to bring this up and how a lot of people will call this an asspull. While, I may make jokes I can’t call this new armor an asspull. I ageree with tekking101 and how a timeskip is used to make the character stronger and gain a new ability without having to watch them train. This recent 1 year timeskip is different from the 7 year one which they didn’t train and just had Ultear hack all of them. But this one year timeskip it’s easier for me to believe that Erza got some new armor over that one year, like her wind god armor, and using it to help the situation doesn’t feel asspull-ish to me. We saw something like this before with Laxus and the Red Lightning. It’s not hard for me to believe Laxus learned this over the timeskip and, while convenient, doesn’t really scream asspull, thanks to the time skip.
Post Chapter follow up: This Chapter was good but there are some nitpicks I have for it. Biggest is Acnologia. How does Acnologia not recognize her? I once again state that maybe Acnologia didn’t directly get power from Irene and never saw her and from re-reading the chapter they square off it does seem Irene is aware of who he is. So maybe Acnologia just has a crappy memory.
Not!Aizawa was a bit of a problem with the chapter. Some of his actions are justified but at times it feels like this character was just shoe-horned in to create this conflict.
The fore shadowing is good and really makes me think that if I re-read a lot of earlier chapters my opinion will have increased on them. Also it’s just great to have a Spriggan who’s backstory is a barely a chapter long and doesn’t really help except for a heel turn. It is nice to see actual transformation with Irene and how see became who she is but it still feels like some stuff is left out for me to fully accept this personality.
And finally I really like Erza’s attitude with Irene. She isn’t giving a damn if she’s family and expresses no remorse towards her. Which gives me hope they don’t pointlessly resolve this and have Irene dying the two make peace. But next chapter we get into probably what will ruin this match up, the actual fight.
Final Verdict: 9/10
While I personally have problems with a few scenes thanks to how Hiro has diluted the concept of “dark”, I think that is something subjective and if you’re not bothered by it you’ll like this more
Glad to have actual backstory last more than one chapter
I had so much
expectations for the Avatar arc and all my speculations turned out to be
worthless sdkljf;lskjf okay have this omg it’s based off of honeyteacake’s
amazing comic about Juvia becoming a member of Avatar hehehe so sorry it’s late
“Please welcome—“ the deep voice of Priest Arlock
interrupted the incessant chatter from the other members. Gray Fullbuster
shifted in his seat. Briar passed him a glance, and he raised a curious eyebrow
at her, but the girl then turned away as quick as she had looked. “Avatar
He could feel his blood run cold at the mention of _her _name, a name that burned itself in
his mind the very moment he joined the guild—hell, her name etched itself into
his being the very moment he met her.
A woman stood before him, her wavy blue locks tied into a
high ponytail. Gone was the conservative outfit she had insisted on wearing
despite his protests, claiming that her clothes were not mere hindrances. Gone
was the wise, faraway stare in her eyes, and gone was the love-struck beauty
who had proclaimed her unrequited feelings for him every single day. She opened
her mouth to speak, and he could feel dread erupting in his veins. “All in the
name,” her eyes narrowed, and he found himself wishing that she would look at
him, but her gaze remained blank, focused on an area in the far back. “of
The rest of the Avatar members revealed their smirks,
exchanging seemingly unnoticeable smug looks towards each other, eyeing their
newest member with both greed and authority. They knew of her reputation—_Ame-onna, _a former member of Phantom
Lord who joined Fairy Tail, a part of the dark guild’s elite, the elemental
four. Manipulator of water and mistress of said element. A young woman with a
dark past and extremely powerful magic … she was a valuable member, a
diamond in their midst, a mage with expertise far above them.
Gray knew they did their work, and Juvia’s reputation was
beautiful for them, unlike his. He had been a mage of Fairy Tail ever since he
was a child, and it was a guild filled with luster and love and happiness and
light, a strong, independent fortress for those whose pasts were meant to be
hidden underneath smiles. A demon killed his parents and his foster mother—both
facts presented were proof that he was good through and through. He had no
reason to be evil. He had to create a ruse, using the dark marks crawling in
his skin as a reason for his sudden “change” of side, forming a white lie
through his desire to kill E.N.D. whilst insulting the other members. It was
true, though—they were all merely pawns for him and Erza to play with, evil
creatures who needed to be vanquished and removed from existence.
But this was Juvia. Juvia wasn’t evil; she had no reason to
be _here. _She was never mean, she was
merely alone and tired of her life in the shadows. Juvia was tired of being
alone, and she was tired of the rain following her and had wanted people to
accept her—that was her main reason for joining Phantom Lord, as she had told
him countless times. Juvia was conservative and shy but she was a little, no, a
lot boisterous whenever she declared her love for him.
He squinted his eyes at her, tinted scarlet for the time
being. Her eyes still remained blue, and her voice was the same, but he could
feel as if there really _was _something
wrong with her.
“Welcome,” Jerome said, standing up to greet their newest
member. Gray resisted the urge to obliterate the man then and there, watching
as the dark mage placed a hand on Juvia’s semi-bare shoulder, guiding her to
the free seat beside him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Mary greeted politely,
smiling as per usual. Briar nodded her head in acknowledgement, while the other
members followed her example.
“Another lady,” Goumon stated, bowing sincerely. “it is
indeed an honour.”
“Juvia returns the sentiment,” the water mage said,
returning the bow with just as much grace and poise as she always had shown.
“And it is a pleasure to meet you, miss,” she turned to Mary, flashing a smile.
Gray clenched his teeth silently, noting that the usual fervor she had whenever
she directed her grins at Lucy or Levy or Erza had disappeared.
He made no motion that he had noticed her presence, taking
to leaning back on his chair in both anger and confusion. Her sudden appearance
in this infiltration of his was surprising, to say the very least. She hadn’t
made any hint that she was bothered by his presence, or that she had even
“You are all dismissed. Mary, show Juvia to her
headquarters. I must pray,” with a swish of his cloak, the priest was gone,
headed off towards his temple to worship Zeref. The Avatar members stood up,
and Gray thought he caught a glimpse of Abel whispering something to D-6, a sly
look on his face as he eyed Juvia. Gray glared at the both of them, shoving
both of his hands in his pockets in slight suspicion.
“Ice,” Briar said from behind him, and he turned, his gaze
stern as he looked down at her. “You’re both from Fairy Tail.” There was a
trace of doubt in her voice, and for a moment he felt the need to repeat his
whole E.N.D. speech again, “you two might conspire with each other to destroy us.”
Gray shook his head, smirking. “You saw the look in her
eyes,” he said, his thoughts flashing back to the emotionless girl who stood
before him, a living memory from the past she herself had locked away. “She
won’t do anything. She’s by our side.”
“You’ll have to make sure of that,” the dark-skinned girl
said, walking ahead of him and turning towards her quarters, her next words
said without even sparing him a glance. “If not, I’ll make sure to destroy the
both of you.”
Gray rolled his eyes at the threat, knowing it was probably
empty and that he could defeat her any time, if Erza would just allow him to
make a damn move already.
Briar continued walking, and he went straight ahead, his
eyes magnetically searching for the former rain woman who had decided to grace
him with her presence after six months.
It was only then that the thought of her being mad at him
crossed his mind. Was this some sort of—revenge scheme to get him back? Was she
pissed off because he left without even a note of goodbye or a mere hint to
tell her that he was alive and breathing?
Juvia wasn’t like that. She was selfless and loving and
loyal, and he figured that no matter what he did, she would always forgive him
with open arms and a smile on her face, because that was who Juvia was. She was
nice and caring, and as much as he hated to admit it, well—she smelled like
“This your room, Juvia-san!” Mary said brightly, and he
leaned on a wall’s corner, listening in on the light conversation quietly.
“Thank you,” Juvia said primly, and he could almost hear
Mary smile. For someone who played with the elements of dark magic, the
pink-haired girl surprisingly enjoyed smiling and laughing. “May Juvia ask what
your name is?”
“I’m Mary,” the mage replied. “Juvia, right? I can never get
your name wrong, considering you say your name instead of ‘I’.”
“Yes, it’s the way Juvia speaks,” the water mage responded
smoothly. There was no bright tilt in her tone when she spoke, and as much as
Gray hated to admit it, it scared him. He heard the door creak open. “Now,
Juvia must rest. It has been a long journey to get here.”
“I understand! Bye Juvia,” the poison-user said, and Gray
waited for Mary’s footsteps to fade as she gained distance, before leaving his
He didn’t even knock when he entered—because Mavis forbid
the day he remembered his manners, he figured Juvia wouldn’t mind anyway,
considering that he had done it a lot of times when they had been living
together. When he opened the door, the familiar figure of his former partner
sitting on the bed expectantly as if to greet him, and he shut the door as
quick as he had opened it, stalking over to her with an air of indignation.
“What are you doing here?” the dark-haired man asked
lividly, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards him, clutching her wrist in
his left hand and her arm in the other, trapping her in his presence.
“Juvia is here because she loves Zeref,” the water mage
answered, smiling. “He makes her feel whole—“
“Lie again or I swear I’ll kill you, Juvia,” he snapped. She
didn’t know he was still good anyway, might as well play his role convincingly.
“Why are you here?”
“But Juvia really does love Zeref—“
“Goddammit, no, you don’t,” he hissed, tightening his grip
on her wrist, “you love—“
Her lips claimed his, and his eyes widened in surprise, his
hold on her automatically loosening. The Juvia he knew would never kiss him without permission—she knew her
boundaries, so why? In a few seconds, Juvia pulled away, placing a hand over
his cheeks and smirking.
“you?” she asked mockingly, twirling his gelled locks
between her fingers. “Oh, Gray-sama,” she whispered darkly, and he flinched at
her tone, “if only there was someone out there who loved you.”
“You can cut the act,” Gray said, removing her fingers from
his cheeks, his touch lingering on her skin far more than he was supposed to.
“Go back to being normal. They don’t have security cameras in the rooms, I
“But there is no act, Gray-sama,” Juvia told him, sitting
back down and looking up at him—Mavis forbid—seductively. “This is Juvia, and
she is in love with _Zeref. _He has
shown her the true light and—“
“How dare you say that,” the ice mage interrupted angrily,
placing both of his hands on her bed, encasing her in them. “How dare you, who has fought in the side of the
light, say something as horrible—“
“Aren’t you being a hypocrite then?” Juvia asked, tilting
her head to the side in curiosity. She was so close to his face that he could
trace the outlines of her painted lips, the mascara tainting her thick
eyelashes. She didn’t need those to be beautiful. “You sit in Avatar’s
headquarters, with these beautiful marks of yours,” her fingers trailed the
outlines of the dark streaks staining his skin, and she looked up at him with
those dark, void eyes of hers, “speaking of ending E.N.D. with such tasty
demonic desire,” she exhaled, smirking, “and you accuse me of treachery?”
“Juvia, listen to me, everything is a farce,” Gray replied,
the marks disintegrating as he tried to prove his point. “I’m not evil—this is
“You traitor!” Juvia interrupted, standing up. “You made me
believe that you were evil!”
He could feel the relief flooding his system. He would
accept her being mad at him. She can scream at him. Yell at him. Shout at him
for being evil. _Anything. _She just
“You betrayed the members of Avatar!” she pointed her index
finger at him, her eyebrow meeting in a glare. “You don’t deserve to be here.
Leave at once, you piece of scum!”
“Wait, what?” he looked confused, and he watched as she
crossed her arms over her chest condescendingly. “Juvia, if this is because I
left without saying anything—“
“Not everything is about you, Gray,” Juvia told him, the blue in her eyes starting to turn an
eerie shade of black. “I worship Zeref. You do not. Leave this place immediately.”
And for a moment he was about to retort, to say that “you
don’t mean that,” but at the same time, Juvia collapsed, writhing on the floor
in agony in pain.
He fell next to her, her hands making its way to the back of
her head, the other to her waist, pulling her form closer to him in a pathetic
attempt for comfort. “Juvia,” he shouted worriedly, brushing a stray strand of
hair away from her eyes. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” he was starting to
repeat himself, his eyes darting from one place to another, trying to search
for clues—he just had to stop stop _stop _her
“Gray—sa—ma—“ she looked to be choking, her hold on his coat
tightening as she gripped it fiercely, tears forming in her eyes as she looked
at him from above.
The smiling face of Mary greeted Gray’s eyes—and the
realization of not having his marks on him seemed to dawn into his mind.
Juvia’s hand was starting to lose its grip, and he clutched
it between two of his, sending a glare in Mary’s direction. The lady barely
“Welcome to Avatar,” she said brightly, tilting her head to
the side as a mocking smirk passed her lips. “Gray-sama.”
I’m a mix of sadness, anger and disappointment right now. This will change throughout the week, and I’ll probably be okay with this whole situation later, but NOW I’m really pissed off.
(Let the rant begin, it rolls right on. Let the rant begin, take the Evil!Gray down ♪)
So, I started the chapter and in the beginning everything was fine. Actually, my heart melted by seeing Natsu, Lucy and Happy truly believing in Gray, despite all he had done. Ah, the power of friendship :’))
Then, he appeared, froze Goumon, and pulled out a smartphone (in that moment I was laughing so hard, SO HARD, omg fkskfdksdkakdk Natsu was like “omfg, what is this?” and I read a tsukkomi on Mangahere that said: “It’s civilization!!!”, and I burst into laughter again). Erza came back, and even though I wanted her with her hair short (like in Edolas), it’s always good to see her <3
But then, everything started to going down.
I really understand that Erza tried to not put Juvia in this situation, because she could get involved (and Juvia would be Gray’s weakness for sure), but they could’ve talked to her. Juvia’s smart, and knowing that she would do everything for Gray, if he had told her what was going on and asked her to be away from this, she would obey. Or even if he couldn’t tell her, he could AT LEAST leave her with someone, or leave a letter like Natsu, IDK, ANYTHING!
YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE THE PERSON WHO LOVES YOU INCONDITIONALLY FOR SIX MONTHS AND EXPECT THAT SAID PERSON WON’T GET DEPRESSED. FOR GOD’S SAKE, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT JUVIA! JUVIA, WHO WAITED FOR HIM TO COME BACK IN THE RAIN, WHO PASSED ALL THIS TIME A L O N E, WHO DIDN’T EVEN KNEW IF THE MAN SHE LOVES WAS DEAD OR ALIVE. FOR FUCKIN’ SIX MONTHS. JUVIA, THE SAME PERSON WHO HAD NO ONE FOR ALMOST HER WHOLE LIFE.
And when Natsu (who never really held a conversation with Juvia in the whole manga, but seems to be THE ONLY PERSON WHO REALLY CARES ABOUT HER) talked about Juvia, Gray was all like “……”. WHAT. DOES. THAT. MEAN? To me, nothing. To me, it seemed like he didn’t even care. He could have at least asked about her, right?
Honestly, I wished Gray had reject her (for real, this time), to put her aside and protect her, because she would suffer, but that would pass, and she would “move on” (and by this I’m not saying she would give up on him, but just live her life, like Lucy did), and not just leave her all by herself, with the unspoken promise to come back someday.
I love Erza and I love Gray, but that plan was SO fucked up! They really thought it would not last for so long? A cult with a lot of branches would be defeated in a week. OBVIOUSLY.
I enjoyed seeing Gray happy and smiling and not being evil, but this made me sad, too, because Juvia is almost dying with a fever that doesn’t go down, AND HE DIDN’T EVEN ASKED ABOUT HER, ARGHHHHHHHH.
If Gray is sorry for what he had said to Lucy, I want him to be TRULY SORRY FOR JUVIA (and perhaps Gajeel knowing what he had done, and kicking his ass for his bff???)
That’s it. Sorry, but I needed to vent, and I feel so much better now…
“You make it so hard to love you sometimes. So hard.” (Juvia in Serendipity, by BonneyQ)