gotta give him some credit

You know, can we just take a moment to appreciate Scott Cawthon as a video game developer? Like, really appreciate? Because in this era of gaming, where developers can raise up thousands of dollars from fans and still under-deliver their promises, where games that are slated for release on one date and then pushed back for years and years, where where we as consumers are almost hyper-aware of developers and their flaws and so used to having to wait far longer than expected for a game to come out, Scott Cawthon’s idea of missing a delivery date is to post the entire freaking game months earlier than anticipated, and THEN create a full, playable sequel in just as a little time.

Not saying that other developers are scummy for needing more time to finalize their games (rushed development can and will ruin a good game, and making video games is hard) but still… Scott Cawthon, man.

so i just saw Avengers: Age of Ultron

and…it was pretty bad. 

Like joss whedon is a pretty mediorce director/writer to begin with, but I gotta give him some credit. Never have I seen someone utterly ignore a character’s established characterization for a shitty romantic subplot. Like, well done dude, as in fuck you, you piece of shit. 

My favorite Avenger, super spy Natasha Romanova reduced to a lovesick woman in need of saving. The very woman who beat a gang of thugs while tied to a chair, who TRICKED LOKI, who helped assemble the avengers, who HAD AN ENTIRE ARC IN THE SECOND CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE ABOUT REINVENTING HERSELF AND LEARNING TO TRUST was reduced. To hetrom fodder.

Like not even good fodder. Besides the shitty forced romantic interaction that wasn’t a thing until this movie and the constant reinforcement from other characters in different scenes about the ~new couple~, what we were expected to believe is that Natasha and Bruce were magically attracted to each other because ??????? and because they both couldn’t make babies. Wow. OTP right there. 

I just. I didn’t think it was possible for a Marvel movie to BE this bad. Like, an Avengers movie

And of course other than that, none of the characters really had any defining moments, the graphics were shit at some points (opening sequence anyone?) and the movie was bloated with inappropriate “humorous quips” during, like, every scene. Because tension might scare the audience away, you know, gotta hold their hands and explain everything. Including the fuckall hetrom uggH.

Some of the scenes had nothing to do with the plot. They were just…there. Or some fast editing happened and the plot jumped from point A to point F with no explanation of point B, C, D, or E. And I mean, it was nice the avengers were more aware of the collateral damage, but that doesn’t really mean anything when two seconds after saving someone, they put the entire area at risk because they just had to throw a car, or fling an elevator over their shoulder. Like??? ?? ???? 

Reasonably the best character was Ultron. Everyone else was just kinda there. Yeah they did stuff, but nothing new was introduced, and in some cases the characters regressed, or were destroyed all together.  

Seriously, between the useless woman love interest that replace natasha, huge, bland cast and explosions, this could’ve been a Michael Bay movie. 

No wait, that’s not fair. At least Bay would’ve made his graphics top-notch.