gotta be queue

anonymous asked:

What the fuck are mushrooms what are they I have no clue please help

fruit but like. fungus fruit

like i wish i was making this up but like???? the reason they exist is for the same reasons fruit exists. like

fruit (meaning fruiting structures in this case, not fruits and veggies): 

-made by plonts

-basically just the expanded ovary of the plant after the plant has sexy times

-holds seeds, which are baby plants that are genetically different from the mother. when the fruit falls the babies use the food in the fruit to grow into new plants

mushrooms: 

-happen when two or more fungus living in the ground, in the wood, in whatever substrate the mushroom is growing on, have sexy times

-they dont really have typical sexy times?? like they just smash themselves together until they fuse and make a special arm thing made of cells with nuclei from all the fungi involved in the sexy fungus time

-the weird arm thing eventually grows up to above ground and develops into a mushroom with help from all the fungi parents underground

-the mushroom spits out spores. all the spores have recombined versions of the parents’ genes and are basically baby fungi cells. the mushroom pumps these out in the millions and they drift on the wind or whatever until they find a nice spot where they can live their happy fungus lives in peace. think about spores as seeds without the food for survival if it helps you???

-also a single mushroom can have up to 9 different parents

-and funguses can have literally 20k+ biological sexes so just smash that together and u prob have a baby one way or another 

-basically mushrooms exist so the fungi can reproduce spores in a way that can better get picked up and spread around. if they stayed underground, the babies wouldn’t be able to get anywhere; when the spores are pumped out above ground somehow, they can get picked up by the wind, rain, animals, whatever and can go find a better place to live. mushrooms are distribution organs. 

a good diagram (x): 

-also fun side fact scientists have learned that lightning strikes in some fungus patches greatly accelerate the rate of mushroom production in certain species, to the point where commercial mushroom farms shock some of their fungus patches to promote growth. we think this is an evolutionary thing that some species have developed in response to trees getting struck by lightning. like if a tree gets struck, the funguses around it are like guys we’re gonna get so much food omg and start reproducing because they can afford to if they’re about to get a giant dead tree to eat

fungi are weird man

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