gots to brag

My favorite headcannon is that Jack has an amazing singing voice and he doesnt even know it.

One day when they’re driving in the car, Bitty has his Sappiest Love Songs Ever playlist going, and Jack’s hitting every note in If I Ain’t Got You. By now Bitty knows Jack can sing, so he posts a video of Jack just going at it on his twitter. The offical Falcs account retweets it. Lin-Manuel Miranda retweets it. Bad Bob retweets it with a “He definitely got that one from his mother”. #WhatThePuckZimmermann is trending #1. The world absolutely loves that this big, quiet, awkward hockey bro also belts it out to sappy love songs on long drives, and Bitty is so proud they finally get to see a part of the real Jack.

Jackson: I love black culture & they are a lovely peoples thnak u love you lemme just
-puts on dreads-

Black people: hey can you please not do that…it’s offensive

Jackson: lmao fuck black people I did nothing wrong and everyone who call me out is hatter!!! 😩🤧🤧🤧💪

Lava

Based off this video because I cannot stop laughing


It had started out as a simple enough dare, Dean and Cas would each get a total of 3 tries per person to try and “kill” the other by telling the other that “the floor is lava.” They would then have five seconds before they had to find a way to get off the ground and scream that the floor was lava to any unsuspecting passerby if there were anyway. There was no prize, not really. Dean just really wanted to beat Cas at something, and Cas didn’t mind if he got bragging rights.

Cas had been first, during a walk in the park between their two college classes on campus. “The floor is lava,” he’d casually said. Dean had not understood until he did, and at which point he only had 3 seconds left and nothing that he could use to get off the ground. Nothing, except, for a trashcan just up the trail. He’d made it with one second to spare.

“The floor is lava!” Dean screamed triumphantly, balancing precariously on the poor trashcan below him. He had managed to get into a crouch before the inevitable happened––when Dean went to get down back onto the ground and rejoin Cas he slipped and wound up wedging his butt straight into the trashcan. Castiel wouldn’t let him forget it for a week.

The next turn had been Dean’s, choosing to wait until Cas and he were on a grocery run to enact his plan.

“Hey, Cas,” he called the other’s attention while they were in the toilet paper aisle. 

“Hm?”

“The floor is lava.” 

Keep reading

Hetalia Dodgeball
  • Italy: hides behind Germany, manages to stay in the game a while by just running away
  • Germany: one of the last men standing, takes it way too seriously and kind of scares everyone else because he throws really hard
  • Japan: stays in the game for a long time because he's good at catching balls, but he's not as good at throwing them so he doesn't help his team much
  • America: accidentally knocks someone out because he doesn't know his own strength, leaves to go help the person who got k.o'd
  • England: brags about how well he's going to do then gets hit in the face almost immediately and trudges off, cursing and muttering about how he wasn't ready and this game is stupid
  • France: decent at dodging but can't catch or throw much, stays in the game on a similar strategy to Italy but without a Germany to hide behind
  • Russia: made the case that if he hit the ball with his face hard enough that it bounced back to the other side and hit someone else, it should count as catching it--got out because the rest of the world didn't see it that way
  • China: gets out after catching a few and making a couple of good throws because he's slow to get out of the way of balls he can't catch
  • Canada: is the person America knocked out
  • Prussia: as overly invested as his brother, but louder about it, gets out when he takes a little too much time to brag about that awesome throw he just made
  • Austria: pretends to be hurt so he doesn't have to play
  • Spain: having a really good time, not the first or the last to get out and makes one really good throw, cheers on his team loudly once he's out
  • Romano: didn't want to play in the first place, got dragged there and actually really enjoyed himself for about 1 minute before getting out, at which point he goes back to grumbling and cussing about how stupid this game is and how he didn't want to be here
  • Hungary: as good at this game as Germany, better at still having fun and remembering that it's a game not a damn war

If elected officials in your state are not immediately standing up for public schools and education like this after Devos’ confirmation, call them out and let them know they won’t have your vote in the upcoming elections. 

Arkham Asylum Survival Tips.

This is from my decaying Quotev account. I wrote this so long ago now, but I thought it might be fun to put it up here.

Arkham Asylum survival tips.
As you know there are do’s and do nots to incarceration at Arkham here are some for a slight chance of survival.

Do not think singing the Batman theme song is going to result in any thing other than a painful expierance.

Touch Dr Crane’s books at your own risk.

Asking Edward Nygma if he wants to talk about his ‘daddy issues’ isn’t smart he will kill you.

Telling Deathstroke that Deadpool would totally kick his ass is grounds for immediate medication for talking about fictional characters again.

Flirting with Joker is a new level of stupid but be prepared for a blonde crazed Brooklyn women to try and kill you.

If you should escape and get access to the rogue’s confiscated weapons unless you hundred percent know what your doing don’t touch them and even then it’s likely they will hunt you down and kill you for the inconvenience.

Asking Bane who his dealer is isn’t going to get you any venom.

Please stop asking Copperhead if she can teach you swear words in Spanish, we do have Spanish speaking inmates and doctors it’s not a secret way to insult people.

Yes, Dr Crane is not the strongest person here this isn’t a go ahead to try and dominate him if he doesn’t get you back straight away then I’d suggest sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future.

If Edward Nygma should take a disliking to you giving him some puzzle books on the side isn’t entirely a bad idea.

Threatening ivy with weed killer doesn’t scare her, her ‘babies’ are quite capable of looking after their selves.

Trying to persuade Selina Kyle to curl up in your lap like a kitten is your own funeral.

Shouting 'CROWS’ around Jonathan Crane just to try and scare him is going to result in a frightening death.

Asking Victor Zsasz to cut your food up for you is inviting trouble.

Asking Waylon Jones where captain hook is, will most likely end up with you missing body parts.

Touch Osito and you risk being broken.

Singing twisted fire starter at firefly may seem funny to you but God help you if he starts one.

Asking Edward Nygma what’s green, purple and black and regularly gets his ass handed to him by Batman is seriously stupid.

Telling Edward Nygma that he can use his Cain on you anytime he wants doesn’t sound sexual he will take you literally.

Asking if Crane wants a new test subject doesn’t sound sexual either he’ll gladly take you up on the offer.

Playing music aloud is permitted as one of your recreational activities but please be mindful of what you play as the last time someone played Justin Bieber aloud a fire broke out, a bomb went off, Bane smashed through two walls and Jarvis tried to initiate a flash mob.

Telling Harley you want to joke and fool around with her is in affect volunteering your head for a game of croquette.

Telling Jonathan crane that he is the grim reaper is only going to give him an ego boost.

Singing I’ve got a brand new combine harvester around Pamela isn’t wise.

If your not afraid of bombs then by all means scream capitalism on the top of your voice around Anarchy.

If you should be unlucky enough to draw the attentions of Jarvis Tetch then it is best advised to inform a doctor or guard and not to tell him your the reincarnation of the red queen or the jabberwocky he’ll take this just as seriously.

Asking any of the female prisoners for nudes may be asking for your phone to explode.

Telling Harley Quinn that vampires aren’t as good as werewolves will put you into a no exit lifelong debate.

Trying to flirt with any of the doctors and asking them if they want to start a 'mad love’ will mean that your doctors may have to be switched to the same gender as you and if you still persist then we will be forced to only use video connection to speak with you.

Asking Batman to bite you so you can join his legion of the undead is going to result in a neck brace.

Shouting to the Batmobile might end up with you being chucked under it.

If there is a break out it is advised to stay in your cell for your own safety and not to try to form teams of your favourite rogues.

Don’t think it’s funny calling Penguin happy feet or Mary Poppins.

Neither is calling officer Boyles Scarface.

Starting sleeve fights with your straight jacket is not their intended purpose.

Cash’s hook is not a kitchen utensil.

Although movies are permitted in recreational time there are some rules to when certain films can be shown as different inmates are effected by different things.

Neither of the Silent hill movies are allowed when Dr. Crane is present.
Silence of the lambs is not permitted when Waylon Jones is present.
Stephen King’s It isn’t allowed around Joker.

The Saw franchise isn’t allowed around Edward Nygma, he doesn’t need encouragement.

Tim Burton’s Alice in wonderland isn’t allowed when Jarvis Tetch is around, this should be common sense.

Most violence filled movies aren’t permitted around Zsasz, you don’t really need anything to trigger him.

If you find that Dr. Crane is taking a frequent interest in your personal fears and phobias you should immediately tell a guard or doctor and not tell him stupid made up fears and phobias as if he finds out that your lying he’ll make it his personal mission to make you frightened of your own lies.

It’s best to humour Joker when he asks if you want to know how he got his scars?.

Bragging about animal abuse is not only grounds for time being taken away from your recreational time but you may incur abuse from some of the animal loving inmates.

Instigating wheelchair races is not the purpose of the wheelchairs and is strictly prohibited.

Telling Jarvis that the ghost of Arkham is watching him sleep will earn you solitary confinement.

Writing riddles on the walls and then trying to blame Edward isn’t clever, because he will pick so many holes in your argument and ridicule you so savagely that your likely to end up developing a self inferiority complex.

Trying to steal Osito to sleep with at night isn’t going to end well. For anyone.

Please refrain from stealing medication as we regret to inform you that we believe some of them may have been tampered with, if you begin to laugh uncontrollably, start to feel that Jarvis is making sense or ten foot cockroaches are stampeding through the halls please tell a doctor or guard.

Asking two face to flip a coin for every mundane decision you make is eventually going to end up with your life being determined by a fifty fifty probability.

Telling Jarvis that the Grudge is looking for him is again not acceptable.

There are some patients that suffer from insomnia and stress induced sleep deprivation, if said patients happen to fall asleep then leave them alone it isn’t your place to be as loud as you possibly can to try and wake them up, it’s not just really annoying but it could result in them taking it out on the first person to wake them up, so just make sure it’s not you.

We would appreciate it if everyone who frequents the gym to stop trying to get Bane and Waylon to lift increasingly heavy weights, it always ends in competitions turning into fights.

Male inmates who try to sneak into the female showers please keep in mind that the last time this happened his remains was recovered from the drainage system.

And in relation any female inmates who try to sneak into the male showers…are actually non existent, seriously no one wants to go in there. O_O

Please check your personal toiletries before using them, apparently Joker and Harley has an ongoing bet to see which one of them can dye the most people’s hair.

Trying to play whack a mole on the other patient with Harley’s hammer is strictly prohibited.

Please refrain from laughing at Riddler’s green hair, it is being resolved. :?

The rumours aren’t true there isn’t going to be a 'trick or treating crazies field trip’ please try to remember your here for your own rehabilitation.

Hair dryers are very welcome but trying to thaw out Mr. Freeze with them is not.

Please remember that giving medication forms into the doctors that have been signed by either Harleen Quinzel, Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange are not valid they are patients their selves, there are reasons to why they can no longer practice.

Trying to show Jarvis Alice madness returns the game is strongly discouraged.

please do not touch Nightmare or Craw.

No, you can not have your straight jackets in sparkly pink.

Upon apprehension some patients may have their own personal work on their person, trying to plagiarise or copy their life’s work is going to end up you experiencing the product of their work firsthand.

Please use the doors and not make new exits.

Your sinking to a new level if you ask Mr. Freeze 'is your wife giving you the cold shoulder?’.

Deprive people of caffeine at your own risk.

Music Meister will not sing for you, why would you even want him to?

Killer moth isn’t going to follow laser pointers, he only dresses like a moth.

Touch Harley’s J necklace at your own cost.

The spinach in the canteen is not part kryptonite, and if your stupid enough to try and throw it at superman as a deterrent then on your head be it.

Detective J'onn johnz is not an alien.

No, Vicky vale doesn’t want an exclusive interview with you.

Jack Ryder might have published a paper on his triumph over Floyd Lawton but Deadshot says otherwise.

No you can’t phone Amanda Weller with your phone privileges and ask her to 'sign me up for the suicide squad!“.

Robin doesn’t have to sign in as a minor, stop insisting he does.

Bruce Wayne will not adopt you.

Music Meister will not serenade you, he might perforate your eardrums but he won’t serenade you.

Joker really doesn’t like cream pies in the face, who knew?

No you can’t use Zsasz as a living tally chart board when your playing pool, he might return the favour.

Deathstroke will not teach you some 'really cool Army shit!’ He could possibly demonstrate some 'really cool Army shit!’ On you but he won’t teach you.

The last person to sing Miley Cyrus’s wreaking ball actually ended up squashed by one, I have no idea how they pulled it off but they did, really creatively too.

Yes security levels at Wal-Mart are better, we all know.

Ichobod is not Jonathan’s real name.

Green arrow isn’t looking for maid Marian.

And no he’s not from the legend of Zelda either.

It’s quite easy to swipe Boles’s burbon. Just don’t tell him I told you.

Trying to lift Catwoman up like the lion king isn’t going to work.

Oswald isn’t pingu.

No you can’t redecorate your cell, it’s not meant to be homely.

Bribing the staff isn’t advised but we all know you could probably get away with it.

Batman isn’t into BDSM.

Ra’s al ghul isn’t going to die if you throw salt at him, you might though.

please be kind, I know it’s not the best written piece in the world. I’m resitting my English and maths and trying to improve by writing the subjects I like.

like realistically i know ive had posts that ruinedchildhood has rbed and there was that whole buzzfeed thing with the china post so i should probably be over cool people occasionally noticing my content but this person who used to draw really good royai art back when i first joined the fandom just reblogged one of my fma posts and i straight ass had a heart attack

Gladnis vs Highspecs Headcanon

Aranea and Gladio living in a constant passive-aggresive friendly-foes war on trying to get Ignis’ heart and attention like

  • Gladio tries to hurry on defeating all enemies when he sees Aranea’s airship nearby.
  • ‘Quickquickquick we don’t need her, I’m strong enough, Ignis will see asjdgh’
  • Aranea ‘accidentally’ landing nearby Ignis.
  • Gladio ‘accidentally’ pushing Ignis many feet away future times he sees Aranea trying to land at his side.
  • ‘Sorry, Iggy. I was saving your life’
  • Gladio and Aranea unnecessarily aggressively fighting enemies trying to prove who’s stronger (ofc making sure Ignis’ watching).
  • ‘Five down on my side!’, ‘Yeah, that’s cute, I defeated 7′, ‘You liar, ofc not, I was counting’, ‘Good to see you worry so much about my skills’, ‘I AM NOT WORRIED’
  • Both subtly making the other stumble and fall during fights.
  • Aranea swings her lance and ‘accidentally’ hits Gladio on the head.
  • Gladio throwing Noct to an enemy and ‘accidentally’ missing and hitting Aranea instead (mostly when she’s nearby Ignis).
  • Ignis is in danger.
  • ‘I’M COMING IGGY’, ‘NO, YOU STICK TO YOUR PRINCE, I’LL GO’, ‘NO, NOCT CAN HANDLE HIMSELF’, ‘YOU’RE HIS SWORN SHIELD, STAY AT HIS SIDE WHILE I ATTEND IGNIS’, ‘FUCK NO’, ‘I INSIST’.
  • While both fight each other on it, Noctis helps Ignis up to his feet.
  • Gladio using Ignis’ love and loyalty for Noctis to his favor.
  • ‘She’s bad, forget her. I’ve almost given my life ten times for Noct and she almost kills him once’.
  • Aranea sassing him like
  • ‘You almot die ten times and I almost kill you all once. That proves who’s the strongest here, huh?’
  • ‘I AM THE SWORN SHIELD, OLDEST SON OF THE AMICITIA HOUSE, ANCIENT FAMILY OF THE STRONGEST WARRIORS OF LUCIS, I AM THE STRONGEST’
  • ‘I’m Aranea. Pleasure.’
  • Gladio raging when he sees Ignis and Aranea talking together because
  • ‘I can’t compare to those levels of sass’ it’s over 9,000
  • ‘I handle a lance, so do you, Specs guy. We have a lot in common.’
  • Gladio dropping his doublehand sword to start fighting with a lance.
  • ‘I handle EVERYTHING, bitch’. 
  • Aranea approaching Ignis post fight like
  • ‘I feel a bit exhausted. I heard you’re some sort of medic as well. Mind giving me a potion, pretty face?’
  • Gladio throwing himself to the ground like
  • ‘AAAAGH, IGNIIIIS, THEY SHOT ME. I’M HURT. PLS COME HELP MEH’
  • Gladio subtly smirking at Aranea while Ignis checks him.
  • Gladio carrying Ignis out of the blue (ignoring his complaints) and smirking at Aranea.
  • ‘I can carry him and he loves it’
  • Aranea so upset cause she’s so strong but can’t carry Ignis (or hasn’t tried).
  • ‘My love for Ignis is so big my body became this muscular out of love’.
  • ‘Yeah but I’ve got these’
  • Aranea bragging her boobs to Gladio
  • Gladio so upset because everybody loves boobs and she’s got x10 than him. 
  • Gladio bragging about how he’s known Ignis for a lifetime.
  • Aranea sassing him like ‘Yeah and everybody gets tired of the old stuff. So move aside and give a turn to the new things, will you?’
  • ‘I have a hella rad tattoo’
  • ‘I lead an entire army’
  • ‘I sleep with him every night in a small sized tent’
  • …’dammit’.

Bonus (not so headcanon but still):

  • Ignis turns out to be asexual.
Won't Happen Again : Epilogue to Chicago Med 2x17

Jay spotted him slumped over a beer in the far back booth. It was one of the rare occasions he felt sorry for the guy. But he was sure today had been a tough one for him so when he’d called and asked Jay to meet him for a beer Jay didn’t hesitate to agree.

Jay stopped briefly at the bar to greet a few friends and order a beer before making his way to the back of the bar. He plunked his beer on the table and sat on the stool across from his brother.

“Hey, how you holding up?” Jay asked Will.

Will raised his head and gave a forced smile as his answer. “Hey, thanks for meeting me.”

“Of course,” Jay nodded.

They sipped their beer in silence, both casually scanning the bar, watching the patrons laugh and drink their daily stress away.

“You okay?” Jay asked after a few minutes. Will was the talkative one of the two and his lengthy silence had Jay concerned.

“Do you know that most doctors consider suicide at some point during their residency?” Will asked, still shocked by this fact.

Jay’s back straightened, his eyes inspected Will looking for signs his big brother was sending him distress signals.

Will raised his hand. “I’m fine. But that’s just it. It never occurred to me. I never got to that place. I had no idea so many residents struggled like that.” He took a swig of his beer. “I don’t know, maybe it’s the Halstead genes. Push everything down, don’t feel too much and sure as hell don’t talk about your feelings.” He laughed bitterly. “Can you imagine what dad would say if he walked in here right now? The names he’d call us?”

Jay snorted and took swig of beer.

“And now we have these women in our lives, wanna talk about feelings all the damn time,” Will moaned.

“Speak for yourself,” Jay said flatly. “Erin’s harder to crack then a damn bank vault.”

“I don’t know man, the way that girl’s eyes light up whenever someone says your name, she can’t hide those feelings,” Will teased.

Jay smirked confidently, “Well, I mean when you’ve got the best,” he bragged.

Will laughed shaking his head, “Shut up.”

“Seems to me you’re the one who’s got all kinds of feelings to work out,” Jay teased, putting air quotes around the word feelings.

“What are you talking about?”

“Dude, you’re living with one girl and can’t shut up about another,” Jay observed.

“That’s not true!” Will said defensively.

“No? Nat this, Nat that, all the damn time,” Jay mocked. “Nina’s gonna catch on soon and you’re gonna find yourself homeless,” Jay warned. “And don’t,” he continued raising his finger and pointing at Will, “even consider crashing on my couch. No way am am I dealing with you and Erin first thing in the morning.”

“Not much of a morning person is she?” Will asked laughing, avoiding Jay’s comments about Natalie.

“You have no idea,” Jay laughed but there was something in his eyes that told Will Jay was perfectly content to deal with Erin’s grumpy moods.

Will laughed too. He’d never seen Jay like this before. His dark brooding little brother, who would rather hide in his room than deal with the world and then later ran away to war so he wouldn’t have to deal with his own demons only to be saddled with even more demons, seemed more settled and more at peace these days, happy even. He’d had his doubts about Erin, especially after she dropped into a self destructive spiral without concern that she’d gutted Jay, but clearly she had got her shit together and was helping him carry his load.

“Hey, where’d you go?” Jay asked, drawing Will’s attention back.

Will second guessed himself for a moment before speaking, but after today he knew he just needed to say what was on his mind. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when we were kids and after… after you got home. And I’m sorry you had to deal with dad on your own when mom died,” he blurted out.

Jay didn’t respond at first, just took a swig of beer and swallowed, grimacing like the liquid burned going down. “It the past man,” he said, waving off Will’s apology.

“Well, it won’t happen again. You need anything…”

“I’m good, but thanks. Besides you called me remember?” Jay said interrupting Will.

“Yeah, I did,” Will nodded. The silence stretched between them again before Will grew impatient with his own mood. “Okay enough of this, you see the Sox game last night? Quintana pitched like shit!”

“It’s only spring training,” Jay reasoned.

Will and Jay argued baseball and drank beer after beer until a petite brunette placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

“I don’t know why you waste your breath, the Cubs are gonna kick their asses again anyway,” Erin announced amused.

“Erin! What are you doing here babe, thought you were having dinner with a friend tonight,” Jay asked as he leaned over to kiss her.

“I was, that was hours ago and then I got a call from the bar owner,” she said thumbing in Herman’s direction, “ said there were two rowdy Irish boys disturbing the peace and drinking all his beer,” she laughed. “Poor man wants to close up and go home.”

Jay and Will looked around the now empty bar then at each other and laughed drunkenly. They had lost track of time and closed the bar down.

“Hermann!” Will called, “since when you shy about kicking people out?”

Hermann laughed as he walked over to them. “Since never, but I know you had a rough day, figured I’d bend the rules a bit for you.”

“Well I appreciate that,” Will said slightly slurred, “but you didn’t have to call us a chaperone. We know how to hail cabs.”

“Eh,” Hermann shrugged. “I’ll sleep better knowing you two goons aren’t out inflicting your enthusiasm for the Sox on the rest of this fine city. No one deserves that.” He said in mock seriousness while walking them to the door.

Will flung his arm around Erin’s shoulder. “Lindsay, I like you,” Will announced, “even if you are a Cubs fan.”

Erin laughed up at him and shook her head. When drunk the Halstead boys thought the were even more charming.

“Hey,” Jay called a step behind them. “That’s my girl you got your grubby hands on.” He moaned.

“Relax Halstead, I ain’t trying to steal your girl,” Will mocked as he pulled Erin closer to his side, knowing it would fuel Jay’s fire.

Erin rolled her eyes, it was gonna be a long drive getting these two home.