gother than thou

anonymous asked:

How do I deal with people telling me I'm not "Goth Enough"? I tend to dress in a more Eastern European folk costume style with lots of goth elements. But recently some in the goth community and outside of it have told me that I am not a real goth because of this. How can I prove that I am goth? I know I should ignore those "Gother than thou" types, but its kind of hard to.

Your style sounds AMAZING, and I wish you would come off anon and share photos!

You DO NOT have to prove that you are goth. You don’t. Especially to anyone who throws around the phrase “a real goth”. But yes, I’m sure it is difficult to ignore those sorts. So what should you do the next time one of these elitist, wrong-headed gatekeeping types says something like this to you? Smile at them – either icily or as wide as possible, baring your teeth – and say in a completely flat tone “I’m sure your opinion is worthy and fascinating”. If they keep haranguing you, tell them that  that you AND your Auntie Jilli don’t agree with them, and that they need to stop talking.

Grrrrr. Pretentious gatekeepers make me SO MAD. 

anonymous asked:

I am a blonde Goth and other Goths I know tease me because of that. My parents won´t let me dye my hair so I´m stuck like this and I don´t know what to do. It makes me feel like a poseur.

Oh gosh, I’m sorry it has taken me so long to reply to this.

I understand where you’re coming from, since I spent multiple years as a brown-haired goth and I won’t be able to afford to upkeep the purple very long, so eventually I will be back to my natural hair. As sad as it is, there will always be those who will make fun of us who don’t fit the stereotype, but the important thing to remember is that they’re wrong. Your hair colour has nothing to do with your ability to enjoy goth music or anything in the scene, and having blonde hair doesn’t make you a poseur. Loads of the original goths in the 80s rocked natural hair, including blonde and many of them chose to have that colour as well! It can’t be denied that as far as fashion goes we are inclined to all things black, but the “all-black-everything-is-a-must-for-a-goth” stereotype is not a part of the original concept and you should not feel or be made to feel bad for not following it.

We’re all different but we still stick together and that’s what makes the subculture great! And maybe in a few years you’ll be able to start expressing yourself through things like dyeing your hair but in the meantime try to find those small things that make you feel more comfortable with yourself. Even a new, more alternative haircut might help or finding a really cool hair accessory. You could also try to compromise with your parents and ask them if it would be okay to try out a hair dye that washes out in a few weeks and doesn’t require any bleaching so no permanent damage is done. (There are loads of brands and loads of colours to choose from: Manic Panic, Directions, Stargazer, Arctic Fox, Schwarzkopf… Just look up anything that’s semi-permanent.)

Hopefully things will look up for you soon! Remember that any gother-than-thou people who tease you because of your hair are in the wrong doing that and you are not a poseur for being blonde!

Fml I’ve had a shitty day dealing nastiness and elitist shite that was brought to my attention and I hate dealing with anything of this sort. So stressed out by all of it and we’re meant to be recording MAG now and there’s literally nothing I want to do less. Even trying to get ready right now is just ugghh. These fucking snarky gother-than-thou types are just fucking terrible really. If I can hold back MY true, unfiltered feelings about them, they should be able to choke down their bullshit and keep it to themselves as well.

cavebats  asked:

What do you think of the gothic scene today (compared to how it was in the 80s/90s)? Hugs xx

The scene today is this weird contradiction of how it’s easier than ever to find other goths to talk to, crossed with this weird upswing in people being worried that they’re not being goth the “correct” way.

Don’t get me wrong, Back In The Day <tm>, we had gatekeepers and gother-than-thou types. But their reach wasn’t as big? They were confined to their own cliques, and couldn’t undermine the confidence of a fledgling babybat thousands of miles away. The internet is great for giving everyone a platform and letting people reach out, but it’s also responsible for bullying, gatekeeping, and anonymous hate.

Another difference is that because there weren’t a lot of off-the-rack goth options, we all had some basic DIY skills, even if it was just throwing things in a pot of RIT dye or spending an evening ripping and pinning our own fishnets. I’m starting to see an upswing of DIY culture again, which makes me really happy. 

anonymous asked:

What's the difference between being a poseur and being new to the gothy culture? Sometimes it feels like the same thing... =/

Honestly? I think poseur is a term thrown around by elitist types who are feeling a teensy bit insecure about their “coolness” in comparison to everyone else.

The ONLY thing that would make me think “poseur” is if someone professed interest or knowledge in something but were fibbing in order to make themselves feel cooler. If you’re new to gothy culture, fantastic! Go forth and explore, and be thrilled that you will get to experience it for the first time! Don’t feel you have to act knowledgable and jaded; if someone mentions something you haven’t heard of, ask them about it. If they scoff at you or call you a poseur in response, the problem is with them, not you.

(There is no Elder Goth Cabal, and if there WAS, it would be more interested in introducing people to our spooky wonderland, not being cranky gother-than-thou gatekeepers.)

(Hi, I’m your Auntie Jilli, and I have some very strong opinions about this.)